The Proposal (Forever Bound Book 2) (10 page)

By the time she arrived at his house and parked outside, she only had a couple lines that sounded halfway coherent.  She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and said it once more.  “Damian, I’m so sorry if this relationship has confused the line between us.”  She sighed.  “Love was never supposed to be in the cards for us.”

She closed the mirror on her sun visor and got out of her car.  She nervously walked up to his front door.  This was the first time since they started the arrangement that she could honestly say she was scared to death of being around him.  She didn’t want to mess up her words because she cared about him, she did, but it wasn’t love she felt for him, and she needed, to be honest about that.

When she knocked on his door and waited, she nearly chickened out.  She contemplated running back to her car, tearing out of the driveway, and never looking back.  However, she was planted on his porch, and when he answered her and greeted her with a welcoming smile, she knew she had to be there.

“Hello!”  He reached for her hand and pulled her into the house.  “God I’ve missed you,” he smoothly spoke, then went in for a kiss. 

Before their lips connected, she spoke.  “We really need to talk.”

He stopped and pulled back from her.  He tilted his head and nodded.  “Alright.  That sounds serious.  What’s up?”

Her hands were sweaty, and she casually rubbed them down her pants.  “Can we sit down?”

“Sure!”  He nodded.  “Do you want some supper.  I made pasta.”

She wasn’t hungry.  She just needed to get this off her chest.  “Not right now!”  She moved into his living room and took a seat on his couch, and he sat down beside her.  “This is tough,” she slowly replied.

A moment of recognition lit up his face, then he looked away from her.  “I don’t even think you need to say anything.  You’re breaking this off…right?”

It was an out, and she immediately considered taking it.  Then her response came out in a different format.  “No…” she paused, “yes…I don’t know…maybe.”

He snickered.  “It’s either no or yes…which is it, Charity?”

Charity looked down at the clenched hands in her lap.  She wanted to bolt or crawl in a hole, never to be seen again.  “I care about you, Damian.”  She looked up, and their eyes met.  “I really care about you.”

He smiled.  “Then what’s the problem?” he asked.  He moved closer to her, and Charity could feel the warmth of his body beside her. 

“We made a deal.”  Her voice was shaky, and when she searched his face, he seemed confused.

“A deal?” he asked.  “What are you talking about?”

“We told each other this would simply be a friend’s with benefits situation.”

He nodded slowly.  “Has that changed?” he asked.

She felt her face turn red, and she had to look away from him, while she explained.  “I don’t know.  You tell me.  I heard you, Damian.”

His finger touched her chin, and he brought her face around so she had to look into his eyes.  “You heard me when?” he asked. 

She felt herself weakening as each moment passed.  She didn’t want to continue the conversation.  His insistent stare was also not helping her to move on with her words.  She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.  “You said you loved me,” she replied, nearly squeaking the words out.  She opened her eyes, and his stare went from being insistent to being heartfelt.  His face softened, and he muttered something that was barely audible to the ear but was something like,
oh. 
“If you meant the words, then we have a serious problem.”

His eyes shot back to hers, and he scooted back a little so they weren’t so close together.  “Why?” he asked.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

“Why?” he asked again.  “Why would saying I love you cause any problems?”

She frowned.  “Well, for starters…this was never about love.”

He laughed.  “Things have been known to change when you least expect it.  My point is how would loving you completely uproot what we’re doing?”

Her jaw dropped.  “Stop saying that,” Charity whispered.

He rolled his eyes, and she saw disdain in his motions.  “You can be stubborn, you know that?”  She didn’t respond to his question.  She just remained seated and waited for him to continue.  “If I told you I loved you would you run away?” he asked.

“I don’t…” she looked away from him, hoping to regain her composure.  His questions weren’t what she anticipated hearing.  She honestly thought he would immediately deny everything, so this sent a wrench into her plan.  “Damian, let’s not do this,” she pleaded.

She went to stand up, but he touched her leg and kept her in place.  “Answer the question,” he replied.

“Yes!” she blurted out.  “If you told me that you loved me then I’d run as fast as I could and never look back.  This isn’t about love, Damian.  You and I made a deal to help take away the pain we were feeling.  I don’t love you…” she paused and sighed, “not like that.”

He nodded, slipping his hand off her leg.  “Then it’s a good thing whatever you heard was simply exhaustion and wine talking.”

Her mouth opened.  “What?”

He nodded and a smile slowly crossed his lips.  “I’m sorry if I uttered I loved you in my sleep, but I didn’t mean it.  Frankly, sometimes I chatter in my sleep and can’t control my own thoughts.  Did I say your name at that time?”

She thought about it, but even her own thoughts weren’t functioning properly.  She was pretty certain Damian hadn’t said her name, but she wasn’t sure without a shadow of a doubt.  “I don’t think so,” she quietly stated.

He smiled.  “There you have it.  I could’ve been talking about anyone.  Maybe I was dreaming about Scarlett Johansson.”  He winked at her.  “She is my Hollywood crush, after all.”

Charity was dumbfounded.  He seemed so convincing when he talked earlier about how she would feel if he loved her.  She was certain he meant the words.  Yet, now…he seemed convincing that he never meant the words for her.  She couldn’t fully pick out the truth, but she wanted to believe it was the latter.  “I suppose you could have,” she replied softly.

He grinned.  “I’m sorry if I worried you, but I don’t want this to alter our current arrangement.  You do believe me, don’t you?”

She sighed.  “I want to.”

He moved closer and brushed his hand against her cheek.  Their eyes locked, and he never looked away from her.  “Believe me, Charity…I care about you, but love is a strong word.  What I’m feeling isn’t that.”  His thumb ran over her chin bone, and he moved in.  Their lips met, and the passion she always felt was still there, but one could have that chemistry and passion if it was lust and not love.  She thought he was sexy and hot, and she didn’t love him, so it was possible.  She had to believe that.

His tongue slid across hers, and she felt his hands slowly snake up the back of her shirt.  She fell against him and slowly lost all doubts and worries.  She was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he meant his words because she couldn’t pull away now.  She needed him.

The next two nights went exactly the way the last night went.  When Ana would go off with Jesse, Charity would go to Damian’s.  She always made sure to be home before Ana was and things seemed to be going great.  Then when Saturday night hit, she was surprised to find that Ana wasn’t going out with Jesse.  Her first thought was that they had already hit the wall, and things were starting to go South again, but she noticed the smile on Ana’s face, and she sensed that wasn’t the case.

“I just thought we could to go to the Karaoke Bar,” Ana replied, casually.

Charity frowned.  “Really?  Jesse is alright with this?”

Ana laughed, shrugging it off.  “He doesn’t own me, Charity.  He knows I have a life outside of him.”  She paused and her smile widened.  “Things are going to well with him, and I just think that maybe this is what I want to do tonight.  Are you free?” Ana asked.

The truth was, Charity already had plans with Damian, but she wasn’t going to tell her friend that.  She slipped into her bedroom and sent Damian a message.

Charity:  Have to cancel tonight.  I’ll try to shoot for tomorrow.

She waited in her bedroom until his response came through.

Damian:  Understood. Hope all is well.

That was the type of reaction she was thankful to get.  It didn’t sound like a jealous boyfriend.  Damian might have been disappointed, but so was she.  She left her bedroom and Ana watched her enter the living room.  “Doing alright?” Ana asked.

“Of course.  Why?” Charity asked.

Ana shrugged.  “You darted into the bedroom so fast that I just was curious.”

Charity shook her head.  “Everything’s great.  So…ready to go?”

Ana glanced at her watch.  “How about we leave in fifteen minutes.”

Charity frowned but shrugged.  She didn’t know why fifteen minutes would make a difference, but this was Ana’s plan, and she was going to let it ride.  She took some extra time on her hair, since they had some time to kill, then left the bathroom and found Ana was all ready to go.

“Do you want me to drive?” Charity asked.

Ana shook her head and held up her car keys.  “Already have the keys and ready to go.”  They left the apartment, and Charity noted how quickly Ana was moving.

“Where’s the fire?” Charity replied with a laugh.

They got in Ana’s car, and Ana started it, then backed out of the parking spot.  “I just want to make sure we get there and can sing a song.”

Charity groaned.  She enjoyed watching the people sing, but she had to have several drinks in her before she felt comfortable enough to sing.  “I’m not singing,” Charity replied with a laugh.

“Aww…come on.  You have to sing,” Ana replied as they headed towards the club.

Charity thought about it.  There were a couple of Reba McEntire songs she didn’t mind singing in front of people, but she wasn’t in the mood to drink too much.  They reached the club, and Ana parked.  The parking lot wasn’t too busy for a Saturday night, so Charity figured they would have plenty of opportunities to make fools of themselves, should they so choose.

When they got into the club and took a seat, Ana started fidgeting and looking around the club.  “What are you looking for?” Charity asked.

“Nothing!” Ana quickly responded.

Charity frowned.  It was clear that wasn’t the case.  Ana was a horrible liar.  “Ana?” Charity started.

“What?”  Ana looked to her right where Charity was staring back at her.

“What are you looking for?” Charity asked again.

Ana opened her mouth, and her eyes drifted behind Charity.  She quickly closed her mouth.  It was obvious something was bothering Ana.  Charity started to turn around, but Ana quickly stopped her.  “Wait!”

It startled Charity, causing her to nearly fall out of her chair.  “What’s wrong?” Charity asked.

“Nothing,” Ana nonchalantly said.  “Will you go get two beers?”

Charity frowned, dumbfounded by her friend’s strange attitude.  Ana just smiled as Charity stood up to go to the bar.  “I’ll take two beers…light.”  She called out, trying to do it over the music that was blaring in the background.

“Coming right up.” 

The bartender didn’t take long putting together their orders, and she tossed the money down at her, thanked her, and grabbed the beers.  When she turned around, she bumped right into the man that was approaching the bar.  “Excuse…” her words fell off as she stared at Derek.  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

His eyes lit up, but his facial expression was one of bewilderment.  “Jesse said we needed a guy’s night out.”

Charity nodded.  It suddenly was all coming to her.  The setup between Jesse and Ana made perfect sense.  “Oh…he did, did he?”  She glanced behind him and found Jesse already seated at their table. 

“Let me guess…Ana said you needed a girl’s night out?”

Charity nodded.  “Something like that.”  She smiled.  “You and Jesse can have your guy’s night out.  I’m leaving.”

She pushed past him, but he grabbed onto her hand, and she nearly dropped the bottle from her grasp.  “They were doing something nice.  I’m sorry if you feel railroaded into being here, but stay.  Would it kill you?”

“Quite possibly,” she mumbled.  The fact was seeing Derek made her realize that she wasn’t really over him, and she didn’t think she’d be able to stay there and act all casual.  “You were railroaded, too, so why aren’t you just as angry?”

He laughed.  “Maybe because I’ve wanted to casually bump into you.  Come on, it’s not the end of the world.  Just stay for one drink.”

She looked over to their table and found Jesse and Ana enjoying some conversation, and she really didn’t want to interrupt that.  “Fine!  For Ana’s sake, I will stay, but once the beer’s done…so am I.”

She turned around and headed back to the table, not staying to hear what his response was.  When she got back to the table, Ana and Jesse looked up.  Ana’s face was a shade of pink.  “Isn’t this crazy running into Jesse and Derek here?”

“Crazy!” Charity calmly replied.  She kept her eyes on Ana, and she could sense that Ana knew Charity wasn’t buying that it was a coincidence. 

“Charity, how have you been?” Jesse asked.

Charity nodded.  “Not bad.  Thanks for asking.”  She took a drink from her beer bottle.  From the corner of her eye, she saw Derek watching her. 

Jesse, Ana, and Derek got lost in conversation, while Charity continued to drink and pretend she was paying attention to the conversation.  She didn’t even hear the conversation until Ana mentioned the mall project.  “So, when do you break ground, Derek?” she asked.

Charity’s eyes slipped to Derek, and he had been watching her, but then quickly turned his eyes to Ana.  “Monday!” he replied.  There was light in his eyes when he talked about the project, and Charity was happy for him, even if she didn’t even want to speak to him.

He turned to her, and she started to look away, but then realized his statement was directed towards her.  “You should come.  It’s at ten thirty.”

She thought of something cold to say to him, but then the man on the stage was speaking, and she was distracted.  “Thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight.  We appreciate it.” 

Charity turned back to him, pushing the man’s voice out of her mind.  “I would love to, Derek…really, but I’m pretty sure I’m busy that day.”

“Busy, huh?” he asked.  He chuckled, infuriating her.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, sitting up and staring at him.

He shrugged.  “I don’t know, it just seems to me that maybe your plans could be adjusted.”  He took a drink of his beer.  Ana had a hold of her arm to pull her back, but she didn’t want anything to do with it.

“I shouldn’t have to adjust my plans, just to come to your stupid groundbreaking ceremony.”

His eyes widened.  “Stupid?  You don’t believe in jobs for the town?”

“Derek…Charity…” Jesse started, but Derek held up his hand to quiet his friend.

“I’ll tell you what, honey, that mall is going to be good for this city.”

“Don’t. Call. Me. Honey.” She spoke between her clenched teeth, and his smile was causing her blood to boil.

“Charity…” Ana whispered.

Charity shot her a glance but then went back to telling Derek how she felt.  “You may think you rule the roost, but you don’t when I’m concerned, and I’ll tell you another thing…”  Her words were cut off when Ana grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet.  “What are you doing?” Charity snapped.

Ana pointed to the stage.  “We’re on!”

Charity stared at her.  “We’re on?”  That’s when Charity heard the man’s voice on the stage.  He announced their name and the way he said it made her believe it wasn’t the first time they were being called.  “Oh, now you don’t…” Charity tried to pull away from Ana.  “I haven’t had nearly enough to drink,” she hissed.

By this time the crowd had started chanting their names.  Charity panned her eyes around the crowd and landed on Derek and Jesse’s table.  Jesse was eagerly calling out their name, but Derek seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but there.  “Come on little lady, don’t be shy.”  The announcer said.  The crowd applauded, and she felt she had no choice.  Peer pressure instantly took over.

She shot an
I could kill you
look towards Ana, but turned to the stage.  The crowd’s cheers grew louder as Ana and Charity stood behind their microphones.  The announcer left the stage, and a song started.  Reba McEntire’s
Does He Love You,
started to play.  She groaned but took her place as she would soon need to start her part. 

She did.  She sang every part that Reba McEntire sang, with Ana picking up the Linda Davis parts.  Her eyes remained on the audience, but she avoided Derek’s eye contact like he was the plague.  The audience got into it and eventually she didn’t even care that she started to sing off key, she got into the song, as well.  When the song ended, They both bowed as if they were stars everyone cheered.  Charity’s eyes dipped down to the table right next to the stage.  Derek was even clapping, and it annoyed her.

She turned to guy changing out the Karaoke music and asked him, “Do you have
You’re so Vain?”

He nodded.  “Singing another?” he asked with a huge smile.

She nodded, feeling confident she was doing the right thing.  She turned to Ana.  “I’ve got this one.”

Ana’s eyes grew wide, and her surprise was clear.  She left the stage and went back to the table as the song started.  The music started playing, and her eyes went to Derek’s.  He laughed, as it was obvious who the song was meant for.  She didn’t care who knew it.

****

Derek slowly drank his beer, as he peered at Charity over the top of his bottle.  It was pretty telling why she was singing the song.  Beside him, both Ana and Jesse tried to console him and tell him that Charity would come around, and it would just take time, but he didn’t buy it.  She was stubborn, and that was part of the reason he liked her as much as he did, but he couldn’t force her to listen to him.  He couldn’t force her to trust him again, and he certainly couldn’t force her to forgive him.

As her song continued, her voice did waver, but the audience ate it up.  She seemed to be having a blast, and he liked seeing that.  Her eyes pretty much stayed connected with him the majority of the song, and as he finished his beer, the song came to an end.  He stood up from the table.  “Where are you going?” Jesse asked.

Derek snickered.  “I’m leaving.  I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.  It’s not worth it.”  He smiled at both of them.  “Thanks for inviting me out.  It was a real blast.”  He directed his statement to Jesse.

Jesse nodded.  “I’m sure it was.  Are you sure you want to leave?” Jesse asked.

Charity started to descend from the stage and Derek quickly nodded.  “I’ll talk to you later!”  He escaped out of there, so he didn’t have to face Charity again.  He understood her being upset, but he hadn’t expected how truly hurt she seemed.

****

“Where’s Derek going?” Charity asked nonchalantly.

Ana laughed.  “Uh…he left.  Can you blame him?”  She raised a scolding eyebrow at Charity.  Charity looked down at the table.  Maybe she did take it a step too far, but she wanted to get her point across.  She saw Jesse watching her, so she didn’t point that out. 

“Ready to go?” Charity asked Ana.

Ana stood up from the table.  Jesse stood up, as well.  “Derek was my ride home, can I hitch a ride?” he asked.  He didn’t bother looking at Ana, he asked Charity the question.

Charity nodded.  “Of course.”

They left the bar and the closer they got to Ana’s car, the more sick she felt.  Jesse quickly got in the backseat, so she nabbed the passenger seat.  She remained quiet as she stared out the window and thought about Derek.  She wasn’t usually the vindictive type, and when it came to Derek, she felt like she was putting him through the wringer because he hurt her and she liked him that much.  It was even ten times worse than how she would’ve treated Joe if she ever saw him again.