The Promises We Keep (Made for Love Book 1) (16 page)

I find Addie and Sarah on opposite ends of the couch when I walk inside. They
’
ve both got books open in their laps and they pull their focus away to look up at me at the same time.

“
Hey,
”
I say with a grin. I could play off my expression as happiness to see them, but I know they
’
d never fall for that.
“
What
’
s up?
”

Sarah arches an eyebrow as she smirks at me and I know I
’
ve already been read like a book.
“
What
’
s up?
”
she asks incredulously.
“
Where have
you
been, little missy?
”

“
Hanging out with Sonny,
”
I say with a shrug as I make my way further inside and join them. I plop down onto the coffee table and try and stifle my wistful sigh that
’
s dying to be set free.

“
I knew it,
”
she gloats.

“
What have you guys been doing?
”
Addie wants to know.

“
We went on a run when I got back into town and then we went out to lunch.
”

“
Lunch?
”
Sarah asks, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“
It
’
s four o
’
clock, AJ,
”
Addie says with a grin.

“
Mmhmm,
”
I acknowledge with a nod.

“
Sounds like a pretty hot date,
”
says Sarah.

“
It wasn
’
t a date. We were just hanging out.
”
I can
’
t deny, though, that I let myself imagine a few times that it was, indeed, a date. Even now, I wish that I could claim that it was
—
it was a wonderful way to spend my afternoon. But I
’
m still not convinced that Grayson has any interest in dating me, so I
’
ll be sure to wash away such hopes in my dreams tonight. Right now, though, I
’
m going to bask in my false hope.

“
Sure it wasn
’
t. Where
’
d you guys go, anyway?
”

“
Cooper
’
s,
”
I say with another shrug. Since it
’
s a regular hang out spot for our group, I imagine that it
’
ll work in my favor that we spent our time there, in
friend zone
territory.

Sarah gasps and I
’
m startled by her response.
“
Was Roman working?
”

“
Who
’
s Roman?
”

“
Roman?
”
Addie and I ask at the same time.

“
He
’
s the drop-dead-gorgeous new bartender. I went in to talk to Henry this weekend about my schedule for next week and I met him. All I can say is
—
hot damn
!
”

I laugh and shake my head at her. I
’
m not positive that Roman wasn
’
t working, but I can
’
t say for sure because I was pretty focused on my own guy.
I mean, on Sonny
…

“
What does he look like?
”
asks Addie.

“
Oh-my-gosh
—
like Paris, prince of Troy.
”

“
What?
”
I ask with a laugh.

“
You know, from greek mythology? He
’
s got dark, curly, shaggy hair that
’
s just long enough to be hot and short enough to be considered clean. His brown eyes are like a pool of lust, I tell you, and his mouth
—
mmm
—
sexy lips caged in by a perfectly executed goatee. And his cheek bones? I mean, his whole facial structure
—”

“
Wow, okay
—
take a moment, Sar-bear, you
’
re practically panting,
”
I giggle.

She shoots me a wicked grin as she fans herself with her hand.
“
You would be too if you met him.
”

“
Is he a cool guy? Did you get to talk to him?
”
Addie asks.

“
Oh, yeah. I mean, long enough to get my panties in a twist.
”

“
Sarah!
”
she chastises. No one takes her seriously as her reprimanding tone is broken with her laughter. Soon we
’
re all laughing.

“
Just promise me when you go in to get your schedule that you
’
ll take me with you. If he
’
s there, I can introduce you, and it
’
ll give me an excuse to talk to him again.
”

“
I promise,
”
she agrees with an eye roll.
“
Now, can we get back to studying?
”

Sarah frees a wistful sigh as she agrees. Her sigh reminds me of the one that
’
s still caged up inside of me. I leave the room to set it free as I grab my own school work to join them. When I sit on the floor in front of the coffee table, my phone alerts me to a text.

Sonny:
I had fun today.

I bite my lip, desperate to hide my grin from the girls as I type my reply.

Me:
I did too! Thanks for hanging out with me.

Sonny:
The pleasure was all mine. Are you back in study mode?

Me:
Yeah. You?

Sonny:
Yeah
…
but I
’
m not opposed to a little distraction. You?

I can no longer contain my grin. Guess I
’
ll have a hint of his company tonight, after all.

Me:
Distract away.

It
’
s seared into my brain
—
the look on her face. When I told her about Jack and Claire
’
s engagement, which became official last night, she gave me this look and I can
’
t get it out of my head. That
…
look
—
it said everything; she
’
s ready and she
’
s waiting. And it
’
s not just that! While she waits, she
’
s breaking. There
’
s doubt and insecurity and impatience and I get it. But I can
’
t make myself ready. I
’
m not even brave enough to lie or to fake it until I make it
—
I
’
m. Just. Not. Ready. It
’
s that look, the one that
’
s been haunting me all week, that has me sure that we need some time apart.

Admitting and accepting that has been the hardest thing I
’
ve ever faced in my entire existence. Honestly, it makes me sick thinking about it. When I
’
m with her, I
’
m so desperate for her
—
desperate for another answer, another way
—
but I
’
m convinced this is the only way. Or maybe it
’
s not, but it
’
s the best way. I know this because despite the week I
’
ve spent pleading with God for another option, I only feel right about this one.

I
’
m anxious every time I
’
m around her. I know she
’
s not going to take it well; and that fact alone makes me feel this extreme amount of pressure to drop the bomb as gently as possible.

But bomb and gentle don
’
t belong in the same sentence for a reason.

Not to mention, I
’
m probably setting myself up for epic failure because I can
’
t keep my hands off of her. To say that I
’
m sending the wrong message would be putting it mildly. I can
’
t help it
—
I
’
m going to have to say goodbye to my boyfriend privileges soon and it kills me.

That makes me sound like a total jackass.

“
Beck
—
let
’
s roll.
”
I look up and see Gray standing at the door. He
’
s got bags under his eyes and it looks like he
’
s exhausted. For a fraction of a second, I forget about my own problems and wonder about his.

“
You look like crap,
”
I say bluntly as I stand and follow him out of the apartment.

“
Yeah, well, didn
’
t get a lot of sleep last night,
”
he says, confirming my suspicion as we make our way upstairs to pick up the girls.
“
Guess I should have expected that after she said yes, right?
”

I chuckle, suddenly catching his drift. Thank God I don
’
t share a wall with Jackson. On any other night, it would have been obnoxious
—
but last night, with the week that I
’
ve had, I probably would have gone mad listening to them make love. I can
’
t even really think about it right now. I shake away the thought as I reach up and knock on the door in front of us. Avery answers and I notice right away that she looks almost just as tired as Gray, only she wears her exhaustion more gracefully.