The Promise Box (6 page)

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Authors: Tricia Goyer

BOOK: The Promise Box
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Lydia lifted the letter and pressed it against her chest.

Why didn’t I appreciate you more?

A small sob broke through with her words. “Why didn’t I accept your love, stay rooted
in it and protected by it, when I had the chance?”

Her mem’s greatest fears had come to light the day she turned sixteen. Lydia wished
she could go back. But there was no going back. There never would be.

Her fingers flipped through the other folded up pieces of paper. Would all of these
make her equally sad?

Lydia prepared to close the box when the note on the very top caught her attention.
The handwriting was shakier than the other ones, and it was dated…just four days ago.
The day of Mem’s death. It was the last note Dat had tucked inside the Promise Box
for Mem.

She picked it up, turned it over in her hand, and then put it down again. They were
her mem’s last words, and she doubted that she’d written about beans. Lydia put the
note in the box, closed the lid…then pulled it out again and opened it up before she
lost her nerve.

Dearest Lydia
.

If you found this box, it means that my time on earth is through. I have been a selfish
woman. For most of the day I’ve felt my life slip away. I’ve battled sickness all
my life, but nothing like this. It’s as if the pull to heaven is stronger than the
pull to earth
.

I thought about having Dat use a neighbor’s phone to call you and tell you to come,
but I convinced myself to wait until tomorrow. I want to see you, dear daughter, but
not the sadness in your gaze. And I want one more day with your father just to appreciate
the ordinary, simple moments of our life
.

Although it has not always been an easy life, I don’t regret one day of it. I am thankful
to the Lord for many things: To live the Amish lifestyle. To be surrounded by a gut
community. To have been taught to know the Lord and love Him. And last—and most—for
your father and you
.

Some women have ten children, but I wouldn’t trade ten for you. Though you are far
from me in miles, you are not far in heart. With each promise I write, I not only
thank the Lord for His goodness, I also pray you can find hope in these words
.

Out of all the promises one is my favorite:

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy
God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee,” Deuteronomy
31:6
.

No matter where you go our good Lord will be with you. He will never leave you. My
prayer is that you don’t feel as if you left Him when you left the Amish
.

Dear Lydia, I don’t know what words a mother is supposed to share with her daughter,
but the ones I share here, within this wood casing, are those that have meant the
most to me. They are not thoughts or quotes, they are promises. This is my Promise
Box
.

I didn’t understand God’s promises for many years. I assumed our Lord giving us salvation
and the hope of heaven was enough. But through the years God has promised so much
more. And I learned this promise because of you, the first promise offered
.

Within these notes is your story, daughter. The promises from God are for you
.

Love, Mem

The letter ended. Lydia wished there was more. She wished Mem had called.
I’d give anything for one more day with her
.

Her heart sunk with heaviness, but the joy of finding this box of treasures was like
helium balloons, holding it up from sinking completely.

Annie had mentioned something about Mem’s promises too.
Promises? What promises?
What did Mem mean?

Lydia put the letter back into the box and closed it. She
couldn’t read more now. Not yet. Mem’s words were alive to her, as if she was sitting
right next to her. She’d have to take them slowly, treasure them. Or at least that
was her excuse.

She rose and folded up the quilt…and noticed Gideon striding across the pasture, approaching
Blue. Lydia had books to edit. The wise thing would be to go shopping in Eureka and
then spend some time working on a manuscript. Yet the sight of the man and the horse
tugged at her like a magnet. She approached the fence and watched as Gideon tied a
loose rope around Blue’s neck. The horse acted like Gideon had done so every day of
his life.

Lydia knew the truth: Blue was untamed and unreliable. Gideon knew that about the
horse and understood.

She pulled the quilt tighter to her chest, running her fingers over the straight hem.
Did Gideon read people as well as animals? What did he see when he looked at her?
Her mem saw someone worthy of God’s promises, but Lydia hadn’t seen that in herself.
Not for a very long time.

CHAPTER
8

G
ideon straightened and adjusted his hat, willing his heart to calm its double beat.
Lydia watched from a distance. Beside him Blue’s ears twitched, and the horse tossed
his head. Gideon chuckled. “You felt that, did you?”

If he wanted to succeed with Blue, he’d better pay the pretty redhead no mind. The
horse picked up Gideon’s piqued emotions. Confidence and calmness were the two most
important qualities of a horse trainer.

Blowing out a long, deep breath, he wrapped an arm around the back of Blue’s neck
and rubbed him briskly on both sides of the neck. To get ready for the halter, the
horse needed to understand Gideon could touch all around his neck without startling
him. Gideon had seen more than one person trying to reach around a horse’s neck only
to have the horse get spooked, plowing him over. Being calm didn’t mean that the horse
wouldn’t jump and be scared…but it helped.

After a few minutes, Blue warmed up to him, and Gideon took the halter and rubbed
it on the side of Blue’s face, getting him used to the feel. When Blue was comfortable,
he attempted to wrap the halter around Blue’s neck and buckle
it. The jingling of the harness caused Blue’s ears to prick. He jerked. Gideon swooped
the halter off, grabbing the rope just in case Blue bolted. Sure enough, the horse
started out on a trot. Gideon held onto the rope, letting Blue know he wasn’t going
to get away. The horse tugged slightly, and then submitted, running in full circles
around Gideon. He released a breath and held on, knowing the horse would calm. Thirty
seconds later Blue paused and glanced over at Gideon again. Gideon reeled in the rope
as if he were pulling in a large fish. Blue came with no problem.

Gideon tried to ignore Lydia, but he couldn’t help but glance at her out of the corner
of his eye. She watched with interest, and Gideon liked having her there. He liked
that she appreciated his work. Lydia would make a great friend. He had many
Englisch
friends in the area. One more wouldn’t hurt, right?

Gideon again forced himself to stay calm and focused on the horse. He didn’t make
a big deal of the fact that the jingle of the harness had spooked Blue a few minutes
ago. Everyone deserved a second chance.

This time he placed the noseband on Blue first, then reached to the other side of
Blue’s head and grasped the crownpiece and buckled it. He looked to Lydia again, expecting
a wave or thumbs-up. Instead she stood chatting on her cell phone. His heart ached
as if Blue had bruised it with a wild kick. Who was he fooling? They were too different.
He was just someone who’d occupy her time until she headed back to her city life.

The truth hurt.

That’s why he hadn’t approached Edgar to get more details about that event twenty
years ago. The truth would hurt. Wasn’t that why Mem and Dat had kept quiet all these
years?

Yesterday, after the funeral, he’d gone back to the bachelors’
cabin and sat on the front porch, boots kicked up on the porch railing, looking into
the hills.

He’d sensed Edgar’s eyes on him during the funeral, but he refused to make eye contact.
Why did he have to be the stupid kid who had gotten lost in the woods? Who’d disobeyed
his parents and caused trouble in the whole community? His mother had reminded him
many times where disobedience had led him. How could he forget?

Couldn’t he have been remembered for something good? Something noble? Guilt harnessed
itself to his heart, and he wished he could shake it off.

“C’mon, Blue.” He led the horse through the pasture away from Lydia. Leading with
a rope was an important part of the training. It put a connection between him and
the horse; through it Blue learned trust.

They walked through the pasture and then toward a hill, passing under the trees. It
was dimmer there. His mentor’s words trailed through his thoughts:


The horse needs to learn that no matter what you bring into his life, you will not
purposefully hurt him. In fact, the trust built might even save a horse’s life one
day
.”

“You’re trusting me, aren’t you?” Gideon spoke the words to Blue, but he also couldn’t
help but feel as if God was speaking the same words to his heart.

“Trust isn’t really trust when you’re allowed to roam free in the sunshine, is it?”
he said in a whisper. “You’re gonna learn trust by walking in the shadows. By feeling
constrained. By letting me lead.”

After guiding Blue for fifteen minutes, Gideon took off the halter and untied the
rope around the horse’s neck. With a pat on Blue’s hindquarters, Gideon let the horse
know the lesson was over for the day. He carried the tack across the pasture
and thought about heading back to his cabin to write a letter to Mem and Dat. Maybe
he’d give them a chance to tell him the truth before he asked Edgar.

Gideon had made it halfway across the pasture when he glanced over at the Wyse place
again, fully expecting to see Lydia still talking on the phone. Instead, she stood
near the front porch with two other bachelors—Amos and Micah. Micah’s buggy was parked
out front, and his horse nibbled on the grass by the fence line.

Lydia’s head tossed back, and her laughter spilled onto the breeze. His gut tensed.
He pulled off his hat and wiped his brow with the back of his sleeve. What were those
two doing there? They hadn’t cared enough about Mrs. Wyse to show up at the funeral,
and now they were going to stop by?

Gideon lowered his head. Of course—like his mem always told him—another’s actions
weren’t his to judge.

He kept walking, tried to ignore them, but Gideon knew the beautiful redhead stood
behind the purpose for their visit.
I should just let them be
. But something inside propelled him that direction. He approached the fence, and
Mr. Wyse’s dog, Rex, bounded toward him. Gideon reached down to pet the dog, and then
climbed over the fence and approached the others.

He fixed his eyes on Lydia, and she glanced his direction. “Is there an ice cream
social I hadn’t heard about?”

“Oh, no.” Lydia placed a hand over her chest and then looked back at the two young
men. “They’ve come bringing Dat home. He walked down to the Kraft and Grocery, and
he stumbled off the porch and banged up his leg. Annie had called my cell and was
going to drive him home herself when Micah offered. Which was so kind.” Lydia smiled
at him. “I can’t believe—”

“Is he all right? Yer dat?” Gideon looked to the doorway.

Lydia frowned. “I hope so. He limped inside and wouldn’t let me take a peek at his
leg, but I’ll check on it. Said he tripped over a loose board on the front step. I
hope that’s all it is.”

“It’s been a hard few days for him.” Gideon glanced to Amos, Micah, and then back
to Lydia. “But it was good to see you smile. I heard your laughter all the way out
in the pasture.”


Ja
, well it’s Micah’s fault.” She narrowed her gaze at the blond bachelor. “He’s the
one who told me what Dat said.”

Gideon pushed his hat farther back on his head. “What’s that?”

Micah smiled. “When I asked Mr. Wyse if he wanted a ride, he said, ‘Suppose so. Seems
to me my git ain’t goin’ very far.”

Lydia laughed again. “It’s funny because Dat always used to ask me, ‘Lydia, are you
ready yet? We best git going.’ I’d always tease him and ask what his ‘git’ was.”

Then as quickly as the smile brightened her face, it faded. A shadow of memory moved
across her eyes. “And then Mem would always respond the same.” Lydia sighed. “She’d
always say, ‘My husband is getting so
crittlich
of late. Give yer daughter a moment.’” Lydia lowered her head. “It’s amazing how
those little things that didn’t seem to matter mean the most now.”

Lydia reached up, as if to fiddle with her
kapp
strings, and then dropped her hand. Gideon tried to picture her in Amish dress. He
liked that thought.

Lydia forced a smile and looked back at Micah. “I’ll get in now and check on Dat.
Thank you so much for giving him a ride home.”

Amos nodded. “
Ja
, of course. I hope he feels better soon.”

Micah took a step closer. “Won’t you let us know?”

Lydia nodded. “Of course.” Then she glanced to Gideon. “See you tomorrow…in the pasture,
that is.”


Ja
, me and old Blue…” He waved as he strode away, wishing he’d come up with something
wittier to say.

The other bachelors followed Gideon out from the front lawn. When the front door of
the cabin shut behind them, with Lydia inside, Micah turned to Amos. “Oh, boy, what
I would give to have a
buss
from her!”

Amos winked. “Just one kiss? I’d like to make her my girl.”


Ja
, but she’s
Englisch
.” Micah glanced back over his shoulder. “Too bad.” He climbed into the buggy.

Amos smirked. “Maybe so, but I’ve not been baptized yet. There’s no one who says I
couldn’t make her my girlfriend.”

“I say you can’t.” The words shot from Gideon’s mouth.

“You?” Amos looked back at him. “Don’t tell me yer fancy on her. You’ve been baptized.
I heard you preach that day when the bishop was out of town.”


Ja
, that’s true.” Gideon’s mind scurried to find an excuse. “But have you thought of
this…” He paused, considering. “Her mem passed jest days ago. You should wait two
weeks at least before making a social call.”

Amos lifted a brow and eyed him. “Is that a church rule?”


Ne
, jest common courtesy.”

Micah climbed into the buggy, and Amos did the same. “All right, then, I’ll be watching
you too, Gideon. Making sure yer
courteous
.” He motioned to the backseat. “Coming?”

Gideon shook his head. “
Ne
, I’ll walk. I have to stop by the Carash place and tell Dave how the horse training’s
coming.”

Micah nodded, but Gideon could tell Micah knew he was just blowing hot air about the
common courtesy. Gideon couldn’t believe how he was acting either.

Why had he been so bold and forceful about Lydia? He knew why. He couldn’t bear the
thought of these other bachelors playing with her emotions. He didn’t know her too
well,
not yet, but something told him that Lydia was special. More special than to be treated
with disrespect.

It wasn’t that he had any intentions. As a man baptized into the church, he couldn’t.
Shouldn’t.

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