The Primrose Bride (32 page)

“
Horribly.
”

“
I knew you wouldn
’
t like to hear it. Now you can see why I wouldn
’
t go into all this till we were close.
”

“
You
’
d better finish, though.
”

“
The ending is slightly better,
”
with a smile in his tones.
“
Bang in the middle of these experiments I paid a duty visit to Welhayes, intending to spend one night with my aunt and uncle. I met the Karen child and stayed three weeks. I
’
d have hung on longer, but I was already booked for a trip with some friends to Scandinavia, and after thinking things over
...”

“
Cold-bloodedly.
”

“
Let
’
s call it sanely, this time. I decided to make the trip to Scandinavia and use the time as a breathing space. After all, you weren
’
t really what I was looking for. You were anything but mature, you hadn
’
t had a single love
affair.
The few times I
’
d kissed you you responded like a shy little girl, and you were obviously certain that marriage was the outcome of a long and anything but passionate friendship.
”

“
You looked me over as a possibility, though, didn
’
t you—during those three weeks
?
”
she asked the palms.

“
There was nothing deliberate about it, though I admit it delighted me that you could be convincingly adult and restrained as well as gay and excitable. During those two weeks we were apart I decided I wanted you and could make you happy. Common sense told me that although you might eventually become the right sort of wife, you were too young, innocent and inexperienced. But the fact was that not only had I forgotten what the other girls I
’
d taken out looked like, but almost without knowing it I
’
d stayed at Welhayes for three whole weeks just for the pleasure of seeing you every day and enjoying your reactions to all sorts of things. I kicked myself a hundred times for not visiting Welhayes right at the start of my leave, so that we could have known each other for several months before coming to a
climax.
Well, you know what happened next.
”

She nodded, still without looking at him.
“
You told me we were going to be married at once.
”

“
I couldn
’
t
ask
you, because I was quite sure you
’
d have hedged, and insisted on an engagement. It was then less
than
three weeks to the end of my leave, and I
’
m just not the sort to leave a
fiancée
behind, or even take one with me.
”

“
But you wanted to turn up here with a wife so that the Prichards couldn
’
t try any more of the Letitia tactics.
”

“
I won
’
t deny that it came to my mind, but it wasn
’
t terribly important. A
fiancée
would have taken care of that particular situation. Maybe I plan things in too much detail; I don
’
t know. I only know that at that time what I was doing seemed right, for your sake. You were to have the week here before the Prichards returned from their tour so that you
’
d feel you belonged. I wasn
’
t at all sure whether the Governor and Marcia were my friends or my enemies, but I was darned sure you weren
’
t going to suffer at their hands in any way. As it turned out, time had healed the breach slightly, and you yourself did the rest. Because you
’
re pretty and young and teachable, they both took to you.
”

There was a silence before she said,
“
Wasn
’
t there
...
perhaps, some other reason for our leaving England the day we married
?
”

He ran a gentle finger over her wrist.
“
You probably know it already. I didn
’
t have to question my feelings; I
’
ve known other women and not one of them had stirred me as you did, or made me feel I had to take care of them, so I was sure of myself. But the whole thing was a first time for you. If you remember, you were in a most peculiar state during these last few days before the wedding. You were feverish, uncertain half the time and terribly keyed up. It was all too sudden; I could tell that from the moment I mentioned marriage—and I felt very responsible for the emotional stress I
’
d caused. Maybe that was when I made my first mistake; I thought you
’
d become accustomed to the idea of being married to me during the two-day plane trip, but you didn
’
t. I caught you looking at me many times as if I were a terrifying stranger.
”

“
I think you were, a bit, but I loved you.
”

“
It didn
’
t show.
”
He gave her wrist a little shake.
“
I don
’
t think you even remember those last few days before we were married.
”

“
Not very clearly.
”

“
What about the night I kissed you in the garden?
”

“
I remember that!
”

“
Lord, so do I.
”
He shook his head reminiscently.
“
There was moonlight on your face, and your hair was soft and cloudy and sweet-smelling. You trustingly lifted your lips for the usual light kiss, and you got something so different that your heart began to hammer and you tore yourself away and bolted into the house. It was just about four days before we were to marry! I practically ripped the engine from the car as I drove home.
”

“
Don
’
t remind me of those things. You make me feel such a baby.
”

“
You
’
re a darling baby,
”
he murmured, and bent over and kissed her very much as he had kissed her that night
—
her mouth and neck and throat. Her heart quickened alarmingly, but it was a delicious sensation and she hadn
’
t the smallest urge to escape!

Presently he said,
“
I behaved like a boor over Tony, didn
’
t I? I was in the mood to be jealous of any man who could get a smile out of you.
”

“
We
’
ll make it up with him, won
’
t we?
”

“
Didn
’
t you notice him waving us off this morning? Quite a sentimentalist, old Tony. I
’
m sure he believes in honeymoons. Didn
’
t look as if he bore a grudge, did he?
”

“
Of course he doesn
’
t. He wants us to have just what we
’
ve got.
”

For a moment she wondered whether to tell Andrew of the conversation she had overheard on her first night, and then she decided it was one of the things which could wait; there were several, really, and none of them were important now. Except perhaps one.

She asked casually,
“
How serious was the affair between you and Camilla Marchant?
”

“
Hey, now! Affair is a strong word.
”

“
Is it? How strong?
”

“
There are degrees, but even a mild affair means love-making and a bit of an obsession with one
’
s partner. Nothing of that kind ever happened between Camilla and me.
”

“
Then why should she think you were in love with her before that slightly unsavory business of her father
’
s?
”

“
Who told you that?
”

“
Camilla.
”

“
Camilla!
”
He sat up and stared at her.
“
She actually
spoke
to you on those lines
?
I didn
’
t think it possible she would ever go that far. When was it?
”

“
I
’
ve only seen her twice, and each time it was in our house. When she came in her new car—remember? She ... she left her scarf behind.
”

Karen wished she hadn
’
t mentioned it; he looked so angry.

“
When did you see it?
”
he asked.

“
That was when I trod on the thorn. I came into the veranda and the scarf was on the table and you
...
you looked fed up.
”

“
I
’
m afraid I looked fed up most nights. You stole away, I suppose? It didn
’
t occur to you that all I wanted was to feel you needing me?
”

“I’ll
atone,
”
she promised softly.
“
What about the scarf?
”

“
I found it in the garden. I was going to leave it in the veranda, but then I thought she might co
m
e to the house for it, and I didn
’
t want that. I meant to send it down to the Colonel
’
s house, but I shoved it into a drawer and forgot it.
”

“
You didn
’
t care for her at all?
”

“
Care is the wrong word. Camilla has never been really likeable. When I first knew her I thought she was attractive and very unfortunate. I used to go to their place sometimes and she was rather clever at being lively and ladylike while suggesting that she was really very lonely and brave. I got along well with the Colonel. He
’
s a bit of a rogue, but a character, and he seemed genuinely distressed that Camilla had no one of her own class as a friend. It didn
’
t cost me a thing to invite her up to some of our functions and she was very gay company. I thought she rated a little attention, but I
noticed she
’
d cling a bit when people were watching, and that
made
me careful. I
’
m the last person to drop a woman because her father loses caste, but I was relieved to do so with Camilla. I did go down there whenever they invited me, but that was all.
”

“
I feel just a wee bit sorry for her now.
”

“I’
m afraid I don
’
t. I
’
ve learned too much about her just lately. I can
’
t think of anyone else I
’
ve ever known who
’
d try to break up a new marriage. She was actually
thinking
along those lines before we got here.
”

“
Good heavens,
”
she said soberly.
“
How did you find it out?
”

“
In my room
...
”
he grinned and amended:
“
In my
old
room I
’
ve always kept a photograph of Welhayes. When we got back there was an identical frame containing an enlarged snapshot which had been taken at some picnic.
It was the only photograph in which Camilla appeared with me and Anai told me she brought it to the house and told him to put it beside Welhayes. I questioned him and found she
’
d been there before, during my leave, and persuaded him to let her have a look at the other frame, so that she
could get it copied.
”

“
But that would have been before she knew you were
married.”

“
It was
after
she
’
d heard that she brought the framed snapshot to the house—as a wedding gift, she told Anai. Later, when she turned up while you were alone, I began
to realize
it was a little more serious than I
’
d thought
”
He lifted his shoulders.
“
I suppose after they
’
d pinned that discrepancy in the government accounts on the Colonel
’
s former clerk she planned to get back to our former friendliness. Then suddenly I spoiled everything by marrying you. She felt cheated and vindictive. She was always wilful and packed, with grand ideas, and it probably seemed poetic justice that she should get in on the ground floor, so to speak, as a friend of mine. I wanted no trouble—in fact, at that time I had more than enough!
—
so I did mention to Rawling that it would be a kind gesture to invite Camilla and her father up for a film show one evening, just to show we were sorry for having dropped
them.
”

“
What I still can
’
t understand,
”
said Karen, rather low
-
voiced,
“
is your letting her get away with things. It
’
s not
like you.
”

“
I
wanted
no more problems. She was getting it all out of her system and I thought I was the only one who knew about it
.
It certainly didn
’
t bother me
till,”
he hesitated,
“
till the night of Cath Rawling
’
s party, when she told me she
’
d seen you talking with the men off the
Vesica.
I
’
d been trying pretty hard all that day to get us on a
n
even
keel,
and I
’
m afraid I felt that was very nearly the last straw. Later that night, I did more or less convince myself that you wouldn
’
t have been alone when you met those men and it would certainly have been accidental, but the next morning I went along to see the Colonel, and told him that Camilla was going haywire. To give him his due, he was annoyed and apologetic, and he told me she
’
d been
...
well, he called it behaving like her mother
...
ever since the questionable business of the accounts. Before that, she
’
d evidently built herself up for
marriage
in Government Road.
”

“
With you?
”

“
Heaven knows. It makes my flesh creep to
think
about
i
t!
”

She smiled.
“
You
’
re forgiven for whatever you did feel for her. She
’
s quite beautiful.
”