The Petite Advantage Diet (32 page)

a. Assume the same starting position except the left leg is slightly raised off the floor and extended.

b. Dig your right heel in and slowly raise your body up, keeping your left leg up and extended.

c. It is very important to fight balance using your core, as that increases the intensity and results of the exercise.

8.
Squat Jumps

a. Start with your feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, and abs tucked.

b. With one strap in each hand, palms facing down, squat down until your hamstrings (backs of your legs) are parallel with the floor.

c. Make sure the tension is taut when your arms are extended as you squat.

d. Rapidly leap up in the air, pressing your arms down to the floor for momentum.

e. This is a metabolic movement meant to shock your entire body.

f. Make sure you land lightly on your toes first and roll onto your heels.

g. Perform 20 reps of this exercise and realize you are jumping for joy as the workout is over!!!

I
n chapter 1, we considered a research study that looked at the common denominators of people who had lost more than thirty pounds and have kept it off longer than three years. Every single part of that study correlates to what I have been doing with clients, both Petite and Non-Petite, for years. The sixth behavior noted in that study was: Establish a support system. Another study done at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that after ten months, 66 percent of those with a weight-loss buddy kept their weight off, versus 24 percent who went it alone. If you work the math of that research, you realize that you have over two and a half times
greater
chance of success when you “buddy up.”

In this chapter, we’ll look at how you can choose an appropriate partner and create a positive support system that will help you:

• Adjust your belief system

• Lose weight

• Stay totally full and ward off
all
hunger

• Experience, for the first time, a “reconfiguration”

My goal is to help you identify one team member who can help you deal with your beliefs and behaviors. To get you started, here are two questions I want you to ask yourself:

1.
Do I have a very specific supportive person–spouse, partner, family member, or BFF–to rely on in my quest to be a leaner, sexier me?

2.
How have people responded to me in the past when I attempted a weight-loss program?

The first question is a tough one for some to answer. You truly have to dig down and think, “Who can I count on with regard to this issue?” Notice that I didn’t ask you to consider who you can count on in general, since you may have a terrific spouse or BFF who is great in most categories, but is not a help when it comes to resisting the baked ziti with butter-laden garlic bread followed by a tiramisu chaser on most Friday nights.

The research on this subject goes both ways. A Gallup poll conducted for
USA Today
and what used to be called
Discovery Health
(now called
OWN
and owned by Oprah Winfrey) found that:

57 percent said it would be a help to partner with a relative or friend.

68 percent said that their circle of friends has done more to help them succeed.

34 percent had problems with how they were treated by their circle of friends and relatives as they tempted them, teased them, and tried to derail their plans to exercise.

The first two bullet points are confirmed by Thomas Wadden, a weight-loss expert at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, who states: “My experience is that partners want to help their loved one lose weight because they know it’s important to the loved one.” He goes on to say that “it’s the exception rather than the rule that your partner is going to feel threatened by your weight loss and try to undermine your efforts.”
¹

My experience is that your partner will either be somewhat supportive or deeply opposed to your weight-loss goals. The somewhat supportive partner will let you take the time to exercise and agree to keep high-calorie food out of the house, but this person generally is a bust in a social/restaurant setting when they feel you should both go ahead and “reward” yourselves since you have been “good” all week at home. Remember, for Petites, one big splurge dinner can take one week of diet and exercise to work off–just to get you back to square one. This spouse or significant other truly wants you to succeed, but also wants you both to have a good time and is conflicted or confused as to how to give you what you really need.

The other category of spouse or significant other can be very tough. He is probably also overweight and
loves
to eat and drink and avoid exercise. He really likes you as an eating and drinking buddy and doesn’t want to hurt you, but also doesn’t want to make changes in his own behavior. This makes it a real “mine field” when eating in or out together and in social settings. You have a few options:

1.
Simply start to cook with fewer calories and see if your partner notices. If he does, explain; if he doesn’t, just ride it out.

2.
Place all Addies on the side so that you don’t get hit with the added calories, but your partner still gets what he wants. That’s a compromise that most people don’t object to.

3.
Choose restaurants that serve the type of food that keeps you on plan, but has options that he will enjoy–did I hear steak house?

4.
Discuss your needs and compromise on what you will have in the house and how you will deal with that issue and with eating out. If you present it in a non-threatening manner, I don’t think you will meet with much push-back.

I actually think a combination of all four of these suggestions makes the most sense, as you will have covered all the bases and will establish ground rules. Give it a try. Remember, you have nothing to lose–but weight. Besides, your behavior may start to rub off and then you will have a much more amenable partner.

You actually do have one other option–say nothing. Once again, lead by example, but have your guard up. This option is going to require that you have a lot of strength to ward off temptation
and
to deal with a person constantly asking why you aren’t eating something.

Almost 100 percent of the time, I would urge you to choose a weight-loss buddy who is outside of your primary relationship. The biggest reason is that you most likely love your spouse or significant other because they
don’t
make your weight an issue. They support and love you as you are. But that is not going to help you knock the weight off and adjust your belief and behavior to make it happen.

According to Adam Shafran, an exercise physiologist, chiropractor, and host of the Internet radio show
Dr. Fitness and the Fat Guy
, “Most people put all their effort into finding the right diet or exercise program but don’t put any energy into creating a support and accountability system, and too often, that’s where the devil lies.”
²

I speak all over the country on weight loss, enhanced health, anti-aging, and related topics. About three to four times a year, I am coupled with another very well-known speaker, Marshall Goldsmith. It’s a big honor to be paired with Marshall, as he is an
über-
speaker (he can command what I call the “Clinton rates”), a Fortune 100 business coach, and the author of dozens of bestselling books on leadership, success, and management. Marshall taught me about what he calls “Peer Review,” a concept that works perfectly for weight loss. Here is how it works.

Identify a person that you respect, who also possesses good ability to follow up, and shares a similar desire to lose weight (another reason why your primary relationship may not be the best choice). If you already know that someone is a little flaky–like someone who tries a new diet every other week–move on. The person you choose does
not
have to be a good friend. Just pick someone you trust who also has a desire to lose weight. You are going to follow up with this person on a monthly, weekly, or–my personal recommendation–daily basis. Here are the questions you are going to ask your Peer Review partner:

• Did you weigh yourself today?

• Did you keep a food journal yesterday?

• Were you active for sixty to ninety minutes yesterday?

• Did you perform your interval-based strength training for thirty-one minutes yesterday?

• Did you sleep seven to eight hours last night?

The only acceptable response by your partner to these questions is “yes” or “no.”

The only acceptable response from you to these “yes” or “no” answers is “thank you.”

You then switch roles and proceed under the same rules.

You each record–in a journal, on your computer, on your cell phone, whatever–the responses you received from your partner. It should become immediately apparent that the more “yes” answers you receive, the more weight your partner is losing. If your partner is not losing weight, then he or she (yes, you may use a man as your partner) is either lying or something else is going on. Again, my experience is that the more frequently you conduct this review, the more weight you will lose–and the more weight you will keep off. This “review” should go on for a long enough time, even after you have lost all your weight, to make sure that you are now holding yourself accountable and don’t require the input of your partner.

What I like about Peer Review is that your reviewer holds you accountable. In the personal fitness-training business, I have always preached to my team that your #1 goal is to hold your client accountable for his or her actions. So frequently, clients start to complain and we hear comments like: “I’m not losing weight”; or “Your program doesn’t work”; or “I’m going to quit.” I am always quick to say: “Why aren’t you losing weight? Are you on the program? Why say you are going to quit when you never really started?” That generally leads to a pause, a pained look, and a long talk about what we are
supposed
to be doing together. We talk about it in our initial consultation. We talk about it constantly. I hold my clients accountable at each and every session, and that is one of the reasons I am able to achieve such significant results the vast majority of the time.