The Perfect Witness (31 page)

She nodded jerkily. “I know she’s not a good person. I want to believe in her, but I’m not blind or stupid.” She swallowed to ease the tightness of her throat. “I wanted it so badly. I still want it. She was the only one that I loved for so long that I can’t seem to stop. I don’t want to think she knew about what Camano was planning. I tried to run away from reading her memories, but sometimes they were just there. I got little glimpses…” She shook her head. “And I do think that she might have known, Mandak. And before Lee and Natalie, I would have wondered if I wasn’t worthy of having my own mother love me.”

He muttered a curse.

She held up her hand. “No, I know I’m worthy, or Lee and Natalie wouldn’t have loved me. So the fault has to lie with her.”

“You’re damn right it does.”

“And yet I still hope I’m wrong about her. Isn’t that crazy?”

“No, just very human.”

“Oh, I’m definitely human.” She took a deep breath. “So that’s one lie I’d been telling myself out of the way.”

“There are more?”

“Since Lee and Natalie died, I’ve been very bitter. I’ve been telling myself that revenge was all that was left. It seemed as if the world was filled with ugliness and pain.”

“A good portion of your world was pretty ugly. I couldn’t seem to keep it away from you.”

“You tried. It’s just something we have to work through. Ugliness and evil exist and have to be fought. But we can’t lose our humanity doing it.” She blinked to keep back the tears. “Natalie said something like that on the night she died. She said that I knew about ugliness because I’d lived with it. She said that the thing she wanted for me more than anything in the world was for me to live every minute with joy and love. To fight the poison and not let it rob me of the joy. Isn’t that wonderful?
She
was wonderful.” She smiled unsteadily. “But I forgot all that when they were killed. I was so angry that I couldn’t remember anything but the pain.” She cleared her throat. “But I remember now, and I won’t forget again. I’m not going to let anyone cheat me, not Camano, not Praland.” She paused. “Not my mother.”

“You left me out. Haven’t I always been the bane of your existence?”

“Another lie. What have you done to me, Mandak? Saved my life, saved my sanity, gave me the only family I’ve ever had. You saw that I had an education and protection against the bad guys.”

“I had a motive.”

“Yes, and it scared me, but your motive was remarkably selfless. So you’re not exactly the bogeyman I’d blown up to throw darts at.”

“No, I’m the man who drew a target on your back, then brought you to the hunting ground,” he said bitterly.

“Yes, you did. But I could have said no, and I didn’t.”

“That doesn’t absolve me.”

“No, everyone has to bear their own share of the burden in this nightmare.” Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “But now it doesn’t matter any longer because we’re in it together. I found that out when I was waiting outside Kobu’s tent and wondering if you’d come out alive. I was so angry with you for risking yourself with that maniac. Then I realized that it wasn’t anger but panic.” She paused. “Because I knew I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I couldn’t stand the thought of your not being in my life.”

He stiffened, and a muscle jerked in his cheek. “Oh, shit. What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think it means? This isn’t easy for me, Mandak. You could help me a little.” She reached out, and her palm touched his chest. She could feel his warmth beneath the cotton shirt. “Somewhere along the way, you became the most important thing in my life. Even when you’d faded into the background, you were always there. That’s why I couldn’t let you come too close. You meant too much to me. I don’t know where it’s going, but it’s here, and I have to deal with it. I won’t ignore it.” This next was harder. “I … want you. All ways, every way. I don’t want to miss anything. Natalie said that I should reach out for the joy. That’s what I’m doing.” She went on in a rush, “I’m not trying to put you in a corner. I know you feel something for me, too, but it might not be—” She stopped as his fingers touched her lips.

“I don’t know where it’s going, either.” His eyes were glittering with moisture. “Hell, I shouldn’t be listening to you. After all you’ve gone through, you probably aren’t thinking straight.” His hand moved down to touch her throat. “But my first reaction is to reach out and grab. I’m scared shitless that you’re going to change your mind.”

Her skin was tingling, burning beneath his fingers. She could feel the pulse leap in the hollow of her throat. She reached up and started to unbutton her blouse. “I’m not going to do that. I couldn’t. But you probably know more about this than I do, so maybe you should—” She broke off and inhaled sharply.

He had brushed her hands aside and pushed her bra straps down, then off.

Then his mouth was on her nipples, his teeth teasing, sucking as he pushed her down on her back. She gasped as his fingers moved between her legs and slipped inside. “Mandak!” Her back arched helplessly as the rhythm started.

Not enough.

Not enough.

She had to have him …

Her hands were running, blindly, frantically over his body, stripping him, pulling him over her.

“Shh. Not yet.” His face was flushed, his lips purely sensual as he looked down at her, trying to hold her still. “I’m going crazy. I want it to be good for you.”

“Not yet?” She stared up at him in dazed disbelief. Every nerve in her body was alive and in need. Her breasts were taut, full. The muscles of her stomach were flexing, clenching. She was throbbing, hot, empty. “No way, Mandak.” She wrapped her legs around his hips, rubbing against him. “I’ve changed my mind about your knowing more than I do. Not if you’re going to be so damn noble. What was I thinking?”

He cried out and arched against her as she squeezed. “Allie, this isn’t what— Oh, what the hell. Later.” He was inside her, deep, fast, lifting her to every thrust. “Is this what you want? Take it. Take
me.
”

She was taking him, all of him. He was filling her, every movement burning, hungry.

“More.” She gasped.

He was giving her more.

Her head was thrashing back and forth on the blanket. She was squeezing, rubbing against him.

“Allie…” His face was flushed, his eyes … “Give me a break. I can’t—”

Neither could she.

Her arms tightened around him.

Deeper.

A torrent of fire.

Deeper.

Faster.

Madness.

He lifted her, his breath coming in harsh sobs. “Allie…”

She nodded desperately. She couldn’t speak.

He cried out, his muscles convulsing, his back arching.

Wildness. Completion.

Joy.

His face was buried in her shoulder. “I warned you, dammit. I tried to—”

“Hush.” She was trying to get her breath. He was still inside her and he felt good, part of her. But then he’d always been part of her from that first night in the forest. She just hadn’t realized it. “You did exactly what I wanted you to do.”

He leaned down and kissed her nipple. “You gave me no choice. Why doesn’t it surprise me? You always wanted to run the show.” He got off her but moved only inches away. “But it came out pretty well, considering.”

She made a rude sound. “Pretty well? It was great. Just because you didn’t get to exercise your fantastic sexual control to impress me is no sign you were right and I was wrong.”

“Heaven forbid.” His hand touched her hair. “And, you’re correct, it was fantastic.”

“Fantastic?” She was silent, savoring the word. “It was more than that. It was joy. Just like Natalie said. We reached out and closed out all the poison and let in the joy.” She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “But I want more, Mandak.”

He chuckled. “I’m at your beck and call. All I have to do is touch you, and I’m—”

“No, I don’t mean sex. Not right now. I want you to hold me like this for a little while. That’s joy, too.”

“Yes, it is.” His arms enfolded her, and his voice was husky. “Whatever you want, Allie.”

“I want it all.” She cuddled closer. “Sex and this beautiful feeling of belonging. I’ve always wanted to belong to someone…”

“You never let it show. You’re the most independent woman I know.”

“But you knew … You always knew what I was feeling.”

His lips brushed her temple. “Yes, I knew.”

She was silent, thinking. “But you couldn’t let me belong to you, could you? I had to be strong and stand alone. You gave me Lee and Natalie, but that was different. That didn’t interfere with what I had to do.”

“You were already strong when I met you.” He paused. “And you’re right about the rest. I gave you what I thought I could.” His voice was suddenly violent. “It wasn’t enough. Not then. Not now. And I can’t let it go on. I can’t let you go into that palace with Kobu. I’ll try something else.”

She raised her head and looked him in the eye. “You will take me to that palace. You said it could work.”

“I also said there’s a margin of error.”

“You wouldn’t have done all this prep and planning if the chances weren’t good. I told you that I trust you. Don’t tell me you’re walking away. There’s too much at stake. Those children Megan told me about, the Devanez family members on Praland’s kill list. Maybe revenge could wait, but they can’t. I’m not going to hide out until you find a safer plan. I’m been doing nothing but hiding for the last seven years. This is what you’ve been preparing me for since the day I came to you. But it’s not your battle any longer, it’s
mine.
I’ll find that ledger. Dammit, I’m committed, Mandak.”

“I can see that you are,” he said between clenched teeth. “And it’s killing me.”

“Well, get over it.” She deliberately moved closer to him. “I’m not going to give up what we have tonight worrying about tomorrow.”

His body was stiff and resisting. Then his naked muscular thigh was suddenly between both of her own. “That’s right, you want it all. Well, why not?” His eyes were glittering, reckless. “So do I. But I’m feeling a little frustrated and barbaric at the moment.” He was parting her thighs and moving over her. “Let’s deal with that before we go on to gentler pastures…”

*   *   *

“YOUR TIME’S UP, KOBU.” PRALAND’S
words were clipped and harsh. “You promised me that you’d give me Mandak within three days. You failed me. I believe I’m going to have to send Bruker to escort you back here.”

Panic iced through Kobu. “I’m close. I swear I’m close. I’ve found a source who knows where Mandak is. You have to give me another day.”

“You’re stalling.”

“No, you’re too smart to fall for that shit. It’s true. One more day.”

Silence. “And the woman, Allie Girard?”

“She’s with him. I’ll give them both to you.”

“Why not now, today?”

“Mandak is tricky. I have to set him up before I can take him down.” He moistened his dry lips. “You should know that, Praland. You haven’t been able to touch him in almost ten years.”

“Are you insulting me, Kobu?” Praland asked softly.

“No, no,” he said quickly. “I just wanted to remind you how hard it is to trap Mandak. But I’ll do it. Give me a little more time.”

Another silence. “One more day. If you don’t deliver, I’ll go another route.” He paused. “And you will no longer be necessary to me. Do you understand?”

“I won’t disappoint you. I’ll hand him to you on a silver platter. Mandak and the woman, too.”

“See that you do.” He hung up.

Kobu’s hand was shaking. Son of a bitch. Praland had no right to talk to him like that. He hated feeling this humiliation and fear. He’d served him better than Bruker, but he was given no respect. Praland would be sorry. Once he left the country, other people would realize that Kobu was the one who had kept Praland on top.

But that would be chancy, too. If he betrayed him, Praland would put a price on his head. He’d be dessert for that big cat.

If he betrayed him.

He could still back out and hand Mandak and Allie Girard over to Praland when they reached the palace.

But there was that mountain of cash in his bank account and more to come.

A new life.

New lives could be scary. He could stay here and whittle at Bruker’s influence on Praland.

But if Praland caught Allie Girard and not Mandak, then Mandak would be after Kobu. He had made it clear in bloody detail exactly what he would do to Kobu if he betrayed him. He was not certain who he feared most, Praland or Mandak.

There was a good chance that he could kill Allie Girard once they entered the palace. She was just a woman and only worthy of contempt. Praland might accept her death as a sacrifice that would keep Kobu out of the tiger’s cage. Then he could sound the alarm on Mandak and, if he was lucky, Praland would eliminate him and his danger to Kobu.

Yes, that might work.

He had options. He just had to decide where the danger was greatest and the rewards most plentiful …

*   *   *

“WAKE UP, ALLIE. IT’S ALMOST
dawn. We don’t want Sean wandering in here to get a cup of coffee and have to scramble.”

She wasn’t sleeping. She was just lying here, feeling flushed and sleek and totally sexual. She opened her eyes to see Mandak pulling on his clothes. Too bad, she thought regretfully. He was beautiful naked. Why did people think naked women were all that lovely when men had such clean, powerful lines?

“Move.” He leaned over and cupped her left breast in his hand. “You feel delightfully full and swollen.” He bent over and outlined her nipple with his tongue. “And mine.” He lifted his head. “I didn’t hurt you?”

“Maybe. I don’t think I noticed.” The play had been wild and erotic, then gentle, then once again searingly, basically sexual.

Sean …

She forced herself to sit up and begin to dress. “You promised me you’d find me a pond or lake that didn’t look like a cesspool on the way to the palace. I’m holding you to that, Mandak.” She wrinkled her nose. “I need it.”

He smiled as he headed for the cave entrance. “Pity. I kind of like my smell on you.” His smile faded. “I’ll check to make sure that Kobu hasn’t made any calls to Praland. He might be getting nervous.”