The Perfect Solution-A Suspense of Choices (8 page)

"Maybe no one ever reported any incidents. If no one tells about a problem, no one will know about it. It’s like petty theft; people tend to just let it go thinking it no big deal so things continue to happen. As for violations, those are easy to get around. Most centers know when inspections are coming up and prepare the center for them.

"I called the director just before I called you and she and her staff will meet me at The P. S. Center. They may know who took my son."

"That sounds good, but I think it would be better if you remained at home."

“I can't. I have to go. I have to find my son. If I sit around here I will go crazy. The answering machine is on. Brhin and I have a system. We practice it all the time. He'll know what to do if he calls and I am not here. He knows my cell phone number.

"I can't force you to stay there, but I will give all of this information to a unit, an Amber Alert will be enacted and a unit will meet you at the childcare center. Is there anyone to stay at your home while you are gone?"

"No."

"I'm asking this because someone may try to call you for a ransom or something."

"Brhin was taken from his day care center, the person would not know my address or number now would they?"

"I can't agree with that. I suggest you hurry to the center and get back as soon as possible."

"Will they put a search out?"

"More than likely after the police check in. They may have a description of the suspect or the car driven. Bring the most recent picture that you have of your son. We will also get in touch with the Bureau of Missing and Exploited Children. I'll get the news to all of the local television stations. The more information we can get out the better."

"Lord, have mercy. Things like this don't happen in Beaumont. This is such a quiet place. Do you think I will get my baby back?"

"I can't promise you anything. Maybe The P. S. Center made a mistake and gave him to the wrong people and those people have not been able to get in touch with you or The Center in order to give him back. I'm sure these things happen all of the time. Regardless, just keep on calling on the Lord and in the interval, we will do our best to find your son."

"I'm sure that you will. I… uhm, will get my things together and go on to the center."

"You won't be driving yourself, will you?"

"No. My sister should be here soon. She'll be bringing me"

"All right, but before you go, would you give me the address and phone number of your son's father."

"Why? I already told you that he knows nothing about Brhin."

"Do you want your child back?"

"Yes, of course."

"We have to check all possibilities. Does the father live in town?"

"As far as I know he still does. He's a surgeon at the local hospital, St. Elizabeth Hospital." She rattled of Austin's information before clicking off.

Leaning her back against the doorjamb between the living room and the den, Catrine banged her head on the frame as she strove to gain control over the fear and the anxiety that threatened to invade her entire body. The thuds gave rhythmic echo to the words pounding in her head. My baby is gone….my baby is gone. Tears streamed down her face faster than she could wipe them. Her hands trembled convulsively and she gripped them tightly together.

Someone should be here with me she cried to herself. Maybe I should call Austin before the police do. This will be a tremendous shock to him. Finding out you have and haven't a son, in the same day would give any normal person a heart attack, but then again Austin wasn't just anybody. He was a dedicated, even tempered, patient surgeon. Picking up the receiver, she looked at its dial in contemplation. What in the world would I say? 'Hi, Austin this is Catrine. Long time no hear, huh. Oh, by the way, the son I never told you about can't be found. Do you by any chance have him? Right, yeah, Austin was even tempered until it came down to her. Pushing the buttons of his number, she put the receiver to her ear. The sound of his voice on the answering machine unnerved her so much she clicked the button without leaving a message. Shaking her head and then chiding herself for not putting the well being of her child before her fear she picked up the receiver again. Talking as quick as possible she asked Austin to give her a call when he returned home. No explanations and hung up. She just didn’t feel brave enough to tell a man over the phone she had lost a child he had no ideas about. Releasing a deep breath, she tossed the phone to the sofa where it hit the cushion and fell to the floor, ignored.

Crossing the room to the small glass and brass liquor cart under the window, Catrine picked up the small bottle of aspirin and poured herself a glass of Coke. Shaking three aspirin into her palm, she tossed the pills down her throat and swallowed the drink. Looking into the mirror centered on the wall next to the bar, she fingered the soft feathery cut of her strawberry-blond hair and remembered how she had let Brhin talk her into having it cut just two weeks previously. She had brought him to the barbershop for his first haircut and he had been so afraid of the clippers that she sat in the chair before him and had gotten her own mid-shoulder length hair cut to ease his fears. What could she do to ease her own fears, now?

Oh, Jesus, help me, she prayed. This fear is killing me. This is harder to bear than the near death delivery of Brhin. At least then I had known that the anguish would soon be over. I wish that I had that knowledge, now. But, there is only the knowledge that my baby is gone and I feel as if I let him down. Maybe I should not have put him in that center. Maybe, if I had left him in the care of Linda, he would be here now. Maybe, may be. I may, as well say that I should have married Austin Sanchez for all of this may be I am doing. She crossed the room to the sofa and let her body flop into its deep cushions.

Leaning her head on the backrest of the sofa, Catrine took deep breaths and concentrated on remembering the last day that she and Austin had spent together. She had purposely not let herself dwell on thoughts of Austin because she knew that deep inside she still cared very much for him. She and Austin had deliberately said some of the cruelest things to one another.

Before the breakup, the arguments had been trivial, but after a very heated confrontation, she and Austin had decided to call it quits. She could remember the conversation as if it were being reenacted in front of her. Even after all most four years the remembered pain felt as if it were happening at that very moment.

Austin had been standing in front of the very sofa where she was now sitting, opening and closing his hands and breathing so hard that she thought he would lose control of himself and hit her. He had frightened her with the stillness of his body and the glaring looks he kept throwing at her. She had never seen him that furious, but then again, she had been experiencing something she had never felt herself. The huge uncontrollable rage that had been engulfing her made her want to explode. And so she had sat on the sofa tapping her feet in irritation and bemoaning the way the night was ending. In her imagination it would have been a magical affair. A definite liberation from the tensions and arguments they had been having throughout the previous two months. They had eaten a lovely dinner, cuddled, talked, made love and now they were slipping into the same old mode. Pacing the room and having another one of their stupid arguments.

The night was pre-planed, as a sort of getting back together kind of thing and here it was about to explode into a war. Catrine was barely able to keep herself from running up to Austin and punching the hell out of his face as she sat and watched him angrily pace the room. His six foot-three inch stride was continually making short work of the width of the entire room. She watched Austin, as every muscle in his body seemed to contract at the effort of controlling himself. She became a little nervous. He looked like an animal trapped in a small cage. Stopping in front of the sofa, Austin bent and yanked a small pillow from its resting place on the sofa and threw it angrily towards the wall.

"What in God's name do you want from me, Catrine?" He turned to face her.

"Damn it." Stooping, she retrieved the pillow and replaced it on the sofa. She stood face to face, or as near face to face with him as her foot shorter frame would allow. "I want you to be faithful to me." She poked his chest hard with her index finger as she stressed every word. "And if not faithful, at least be honest."

"Honest about what?" absently rubbing the spot she had poked, he continued talking. "What else can I tell you? How honest can I be to a woman that is so paranoid that nothing I say makes a difference to her? You know how I work. I'm a surgeon for Christ's sake." He shook his head in thought of the futility of the situation. "My life is not my own." He sighed irritably. "I do not have time to go running after some other woman. I tell you I have been seeing no one else and you choose not to believe me."

"Of course I don't believe you. How can I? You won’t commit yourself to me, or this relationship. We’ve been seeing each other for almost a year and a half, I suggest that you move in here and you turn cold. What is the big deal anyway? This apartment is larger than yours and you act like you're comfortable while you are here. Maybe you just have a problem being here with me."

"That's not it at all."

"Well, make me understand, Austin. Tell me what I’m doing wrong. For the past two weeks you’ve found it extremely hard to be civil to me. You barely talk to me and you only touch me during sex. What's the problem? Do you think I want your money? I'm not asking for you to take care of me, I can take care of myself. I have a great paying job and can pay my own bills. I just thought that it would be perfect to go to sleep with my arms around you and then wake up with you next to me in the mornings. I had stupidly thought that you felt the same."

"That's bull and you know it." Austin slammed his fist on the table, causing a flower vase to fall and spew its contents of water and dead leaves across the table and onto the floor. Its muddy substance staining the rose colored carpet.

"Get a towel and clean that mess." She had demanded as she angrily, gave him a shove in the chest.

"You do it. And if you know what's good for you, you would back your short little tail up."

She moved back a bit, hands on hips and measured his length with her eyes.

"Am I supposed to be afraid of you?" She looked into his eyes and smirked.

Ignoring the anger in her face he stepped closer and tapped her on the forehead with the tip of his pointer finger.

"Yes," laughing when she angrily slapped at his hand and missed contact, he continued talking. "I don't know what makes you think you can run my life. You want total control of me. You want to know my every coming and going. You are worse than my mother. I can't live with that."

"You are one selfish bastard, Austin. You want me to save myself for only you while you go out and share yourself with the masses. So I’m just going to tell you this one time, from now on I’m out to please myself. I no longer want you in my life."

"You mean to tell me," he folded his arms across his chest. "You are going to stand there and break up a terrific relationship because I won't move in here with you?"

"Hell, yes and you know as well as I that it doesn't just have to deal with you moving in here."

"Right, I wouldn’t bet on it"

"Yeah, right I have the feeling that you only want me for sex."

"Wait a minute. Don't go there. I can get sex anywhere, any time. Don't think there is none better than you."

Catrine laughed raucously. "You know I'm better than ice cream."

She looked at Austin with a beguiling smile and her hands on her hips. He laughed out loud, forgetting for a moment that they were in the middle of an argument. He shook his head as if to clear his mind.

"You forget that ice cream comes in a variety of flavors. Not that I want to try any." he raised his hands in defense. "I think you need help Catrine."

"Not to deal with you." She looked him up and down.

"To be able to deal with life, you're delusional. I know a couple of psychiatrists that may be able to help you. No, just listen," he held up his hand to silence her. "I am not about to get in another argument with you. If you want to give up something that could be the best thing you ever have in your life, it's your choice."

"It's you that's throwing me away. Why in God's name would I want to be with someone that just wants to fu…?"

"Don't say it." He grabbed her hands and held them within his own. "You now I hate that word especially when you use it in that context. It sounds like we are just animals taking a random plunge. You mean more to me than that. It means a lot to me that you thought me worthy to be your first lover, but I don't want to live with you."

Yanking her hands from his grip, Catrine turned her back on him. She wiped her tears and smoothed her hair before turning back to face him. Unable to hold his gaze she looked at her feet and pushed her hands into the pockets of her robe. Taking another deep calming breath, she again raised her eyes to his level.

"You know Austin I love you to death. I would rather be with no one else but you," She stepped back as he stepped forward. "But I cannot go on the way we have been. We argue all of the time lately and I can't deal with it. The best thing we could probably do for each other would be to not see each other again."