The Perfect Solution-A Suspense of Choices (32 page)

Tone’ya did the snap and arch thing again and everybody in the room cheered and laughingly bemoaned the faults of their men.

“Well, I can.”

Skinny Rayne Moore, the youngest woman in the group stood next to the television and put her hands on her hips in imitation of Tone’ya. Whoever this Sam was, I thought. It was obvious that it didn’t matter to him how old or young a woman was. Rayne was just making twenty years old. She shook her shoulders, making her breast bounce heavily and gave a very seductive smile.

We continued to laugh.

“You laugh, but I know my man takes care of me.”

“Who you talkin’ about, girl?” Jenny Needs questioned. “I know not that fat, sorry ass, cradle-robbin’ Shamel.”

“Honey, please.” Rayne raised her opened hand, in that talk-to-the-hand fashion, towards Jenny. “You know what Shamel is for and he’s not ‘fat’ he’s muscular.” We all snickered. “I’m talkin’ about ‘Sam’.” Rayne continued. “Sam will do me no wrong. Sam is the man. Can I get a witness?”

She raised her arms in the air and danced around as if she had gotten the Holy Spirit. Amen sister and you go girl were repeated over and over as we laughed.

“So all of you get something from Sam, huh?” I asked after the laughter stopped. “Did you all meet him at the same time?”

“No.” They all answered together.

“I hate to ask this because you all just don’t seem the type, but do you all sleep with Sam? ‘Cuz I’m not into ‘kinky’.” I quickly added the last so they would know where I stood.

“What? Are you kidding?” Jenny giggled. She pressed her hands over her mouth as if she were trying to hold in a secret. “Girl, you don’t know what you’re missing.” She looked around at the other women and began chuckling like an idiot.

“Oh, my God.” Frankie choked back laughter while making quick fanning motions near her eyes with the fingers of both hands as she tried to finish her sentence. “Oh, my God, we all meet at Tone’ya’s house….” Tears of merriment ran down her face. “Around midnight on the first Wednesday of each month and take turns screwing him on her kitchen table.”

Letting a loud burst of laughter erupt into the room as she finished, Frankie fell backwards on the couch laughing uncontrollably. Her shoulder bumped Jenny who fell on the floor chuckling and snorting. Rayne and Tone’ya stared at me in stunned, open mouth amazement before they too started laughing. Rayne, jumped around in small circles in her delight and Tone’ya practically skipped around the room in her enjoyment. It was a little while before the loud laughter quieted down to giggles, suppressed snickers and one of them could finally answer.

“Girl, I think you need some help.” Tone’ya tapped me on the shoulder in a consoling manner, wiped her eyes and resumed her seat. “I’ll have Sam come over here next Wednesday and we’ll do it in your kitchen.”

The raucous laughter started in the room again. The merriment was contagious and this time I had to join them. Ignorant to what they found so funny, but happy to shed some of my misery.

“Seriously, now girl,” Frankie straightened herself. “Are you crazy? No one sleeps with Sam.”

Stunned, I looked around the room at the smiling women.

“Okay, so none of you go that way, thank God. So why does he help?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” Tone’ya swiveled her neck side to side. “I don’t ask why when someone is giving me something. I just take it.”

“That’s what I’m sayin’,” Rayne agreed. “If I can get me some money and some help and don’t have to give up no coochie…I’m there.”

Rayne and Jenny high fived each other as everyone else concurred with the statement. Still not convinced, I questioned them further and after they all told me the story of how they became involved with Sam Tone’ya sighed deeply.

“Listen, Phyl.” She reached over the coffee table, deftly took the television’s remote control from Rayne’s slack fingers and flicked it on. This was an action that successfully put an end to the conversation. “You can’t do wrong with Sam even if you use him for a little while. Instead of you questioning us, go and try him out for yourself.”

EXCERPT II

“My arms are tired, Durham. I’ve been rowing this boat for the past twenty minutes. My fingers are getting blisters. And if it weren’t so dark you would see I have a huge splinter in my palm. Why is it you always make me do the rowing on these trips?”

“Stop whining, Penny. Do you want to do my job? Do you think it’s easy to do what I do? Do you think it doesn’t tire me to crack someone’s neck with my bare hands?”

“I’m sure it does. I don’t know how you do it. Just hearing the sound of a person’s bones breaking makes me shudder and gag. Knowing I am hearing them release their last breath makes me wanna vomit.”

“That’s how I felt at first, but now I just want to get the job over and collect my pay. You can stop rowing we’re almost there. Pull the oars in and be careful with the poles. I don’t want you to hit this fool on the head.”

“What difference would it make? He is dead right?”

“Yeah, but I want no excess marks on the body or blood in the boat. Give me that rope from behind your back so I can tie this tarp around his body.”

Penny reached behind her and felt for the presence of the rope. Her fingers sliding on the damp wood encountered what she thought was rope, the slimy patches of surface causing doubt and illusions of Water Moccasins to cross her mind. Pumping her bravery she yanked it up, held it far away from her body, and pushed it towards Durham. The heavy weight and wiggle of the object not counteracting her thoughts of clearing the fear from her mind, for all she knew what she held gingerly between her fists was really a snake.

“Here it is, Durham. Stretch out your hand its right in front of you. Damn it’s dark. I can barely see your hands.”

“You tryin’ to say I’m too black to see in the night?”

“No. I know those are gloves you have on. I’m just saying it’s too dark out here tonight. I don’t even know how you know what’s really going on around you. We’ve been on the water three times this week and each time you knew exactly where to stop and it has been dark as all hell.”

“Experience pays off. I’m a creature of habit.”

“Sometimes that’s not a good thing, Durham. It could be your downfall.”

“It will never be mine. Cover your face there’s going to be a big nasty splash when this sloppy fat bastard hits the water.”

As the water rushed into the air and the odor of rot and death seeped in through her nose and flowed quickly and deeply to the pit of her empty stomach, she gagged. The small indention behind her ears began to burn, bile rose to her throat and she fought hard not to release the contents of her stomach in retaliation.

“Oh hell….” Retching fruitlessly, Penny pulled the neckline of her shirt to cover her mouth and nose. “You weren’t kidding. That….damn….water….stinks.” Her retching sounds causing a pause between each of the four words. “How many bodies have you fed to the fishes?”

“Too many to count and if I tell you….well you know the old saying. Hand me the oars. I’ll row back.”

“Thanks.”

Penny gripping the edge of the rocking boat tightly looked around at her surroundings. It was nightmarish dark. No stars, eerie clouds moved stealthy across the sky and a sliver of moonlight peered through the thick foliage of the trees surrounding the spot where the body had disappeared. It was damned spooky. If any kind of water monster wanted to jump up and grab them and pull them into the deep blackness, this would be the perfect spot. They would disappear and no one would have any idea where to search for them. She shivered in the cool darkness; they were as much a part of the shadows as death was a part of the waters.

“Where do you think the bodies go, Durham?” She whispered just in case one of those monsters from her childhood nightmares was more than a figment of her imagination. “I’ve never heard of anyone talking about bodies resurfacing so they must fall pretty deep or something eats them.”

Durham laughed at the fear showing in the expanse of the white in her eyes. She held her arms crossed tight across her stomach, the rocking of her body having nothing to do with the movement of the water.

“You’re not afraid of the dark are you Penny?”

“Hell fuckin’ yeah. Petrified pissless and I’m not ashamed to say it, either.”

Durham chuckled between the strokes of the oar.

“Well, that’s the first time I’ve heard anyone say that. You can stop being afraid. Nothing is going to stick its long slimy arm out of the water and yank you out the boat.”

“That’s not funny at all Durham.” She looked around and shivered even more. “Now that you’ve read my mind I’m really scared. It makes me wonder if you’ve ever seen anything creepy out here.”

“Well, if you must know, sometimes when I’m sitting on the porch of that little cabin up there, I look across the water and think I see a specter of a woman or a girl. I’m not sure which it is.”

“Really?” She didn’t know whether to be excited of afraid. “Where exactly does she be when you see her?”

“I’m kidding Penny, geeze. I’m probably just seeing the smoke from the cigar I smoke. In a couple of minutes we’ll be close to the shore. And don’t worry about any of those bodies coming up because I know for a fact they fall into a huge cavern and just keep on going. The cavern has a vacuum like suction, things go down and nothing comes up. That’s why I always make you stop rowing at the large cluster of branches jutting out at the curve back there. The current is strong and I don’t want to get sucked in. If there were any stars in the sky I would be able to show you where the safety rope was tied. It’s there in case we ever fall into the water. Remind me to bring a flashlight the next time we come out so I can show you. Talk about a scary adventure falling in the lake and catching the ends of that slimy rope at just the right moment, exhilarating. ”

“You get a thrill from danger, don’t you?”

“Yup, I get more of a thrill from getting paid big bucks for dropping sloppy fat bastards in a watery hole.”