The Palliser Novels (230 page)

But had he walked warily when he went down to Richmond, and afterwards, sitting alone in the obscurity of his chamber, wrote the letter which had made Lucy Morris so happy? It must be acknowledged that he did, in truth, love the girl, — that he was capable of a strong feeling. She was not beautiful, — hardly even pretty, small, in appearance almost insignificant, quite penniless, a governess! He had often asked himself what it was that had so vanquished him. She always wore a pale grey frock, — with, perhaps, a grey ribbon, — never running into any bright form of clothing. She was educated, very well-educated; but she owned no great accomplishment. She had not sung his heart away, or ravished him with the harp. Even of her words she was sparing, seeming to care more to listen than to speak; a humble little thing to look at, — one of whom you might say that she regarded herself as well-placed if left in the background. Yet he had found her out, and knew her. He had recognised the treasure, and had greatly desired to possess it. He had confessed to himself that, could splendour and ambition be laid aside, that little thing would be all the world to him. As he sat in court, or in the House, patient from practice as he half-listened to the ponderous speeches of advocates or politicians, he would think of the sparkle in her eye, of the dimple in her chin, of the lines of the mouth which could plead so eloquently, though with few words. To sit on some high seat among his countrymen, and also to marry Lucy Morris, — that would be a high ambition. He had chosen his way now, and she was engaged to be his wife.

As he thought of it after he had done it, it was not all happiness, all contentment, with him. He did feel that he had crippled himself, — impeded himself in running the race, as it were, with a log round his leg. He had offered to marry her, and he must do so at once, or almost at once, because she could now find no other home but his. He knew, as well as did Lady Fawn, that she could not go into another family as governess; and he knew also that she ought not to remain in Lady Fawn’s house an hour longer than she would be wanted there. He must alter his plan of living at once, give up the luxury of his rooms at the Grosvenor, take a small house somewhere, probably near the Swiss Cottage, come up and down to his chambers by the underground railway, and, in all probability, abandon Parliament altogether. He was not sure whether, in good faith, he should not at once give notice of his intended acceptance of the Chiltern Hundreds to the electors of Bobsborough. Thus meditating, under the influence of that intermittent evil grasp, almost angry with himself for the open truth which he had spoken, — or rather written, and perhaps thinking more of Lizzie and her beauty than he should have done, in the course of three weeks he had paid but one visit to Fawn Court. Then, of a sudden, finding himself one afternoon relieved from work, he resolved to go there. The days were still almost at their longest, and he did not scruple to present himself before Lady Fawn between eight and nine in the evening. They were all at tea, and he was welcomed kindly. Lucy, when he was announced, at once got up and met him almost at the doorway, sparkling with just a tear of joy in her eye, with a look in her face, and a loving manner, which for the moment made him sure that the little house near the Swiss Cottage would, after all, be the only Elysium upon earth. If she spoke a word he hardly heard it, but her hand was in his, so cool and soft, almost trembling in its grasp, with no attempt to withdraw itself, frank, loving, and honest. There was a perfect satisfaction in her greeting which at once told him that she had no discontented thoughts, — had had no such thought, — because he had been so long without coming. To see him was a great joy. But every hour of her life was a joy to her, knowing, as she did know, that he loved her.

Lady Fawn was gracious, the girls were hospitable, and he found himself made very welcome amidst all the women at the tea-table. Not a word was said about Lizzie Eustace. Lady Fawn talked about Parliament, and professed to pity a poor lover who was so bound to his country that he could not see his mistress above once a fortnight. “But there’ll be a good time coming next month,” she said; — for it was now July. “Though the girls can’t make their claims felt, the grouse can.”

“It isn’t the House altogether that rules me with a rod of iron, Lady Fawn,” said Frank, “but the necessity of earning daily bread by the sweat of my brow. A man who has to sit in court all day must take the night, — or, indeed, any time that he can get, — to read up his cases.”

“But the grouse put a stop to all work,” said Lady Fawn. “My gardener told me just now that he wanted a day or two in August. I don’t doubt but that he is going to the moors. Are you going to the moors, Mr. Greystock?”

As it happened, Frank Greystock did not quite know whether he was going to the moors or not. The Ayrshire grouse-shooting is not the best in Scotland; — but there is grouse-shooting in Ayrshire; and the shooting on the Portray mountains is not the worst shooting in the county. The castle at Portray overhangs the sea, but there is a wild district attached to it stretching far back inland, in regard to which Lizzie Eustace was very proud of talking of “her shooting.” Early in the spring of the present year she had asked her cousin Frank to accept the shooting for the coming season, — and he had accepted it. “I shall probably be abroad,” she said, “but there is the old castle.” She had offered it as though he had been her brother, and he had said that he would go down for a couple of weeks, — not to the castle, but to a little lodge some miles up from the sea, of which she told him when he declined the castle. When this invitation was given there was no engagement between her and Lord Fawn. Since that date, within the last day or two, she had reminded him of it. “Won’t his lordship be there?” he had said laughingly. “Certainly not,” she had answered with serious earnestness. Then she had explained that her plan of going abroad had been set aside by circumstances. She did mean to go down to Portray. “I couldn’t have you at the castle,” she said, smiling; “but even an Othello couldn’t object to a first cousin at a little cottage ever so many miles off.” It wasn’t for him to suggest what objections might rise to the brain of a modern Othello; but after some hesitation he said that he would be there. He had promised the trip to a friend, and would like to keep his promise. But, nevertheless, he almost thought that he ought to avoid Portray. He intended to support his cousin as far as he might do so honestly; but he was not quite minded to stand by her through good report and evil report. He did not desire to be specially known as her champion, and yet he felt that that position would be almost forced upon him. He foresaw danger, — and consequently he was doubting about his journey to Scotland.

“I hardly know whether I am or not,” said Frank, — and he almost felt that he was blushing.

“I hope you are,” said Lucy. “When a man has to work all day and nearly all night he should go where he may get fresh air.”

“There’s very good air without going to Scotland for it,” said Lady Fawn, who kept up an excellent house at Richmond, but who, with all her daughters, could not afford autumn trips. The Fawns lived at Fawn Court all the year round, and consequently Lady Fawn thought that air was to be found in England sufficiently good for all purposes of vitality and recreation.

“It’s not quite the same thing,” said Lucy; — “at least, not for a man.”

After that she was allowed to escape into the grounds with her lover, and was made happy with half-an-hour of unalloyed bliss. To be alone with the girl to whom he is not engaged is a man’s delight; — to be alone with the man to whom she is engaged is the woman’s. When the thing is settled there is always present to the man something of a feeling of clipped wings; whereas the woman is conscious of a new power of expanding her pinions. The certainty of the thing is to him repressive. He has done his work, and gained his victory, — and by conquering has become a slave. To her the certainty of the thing is the removal of a restraint which has hitherto always been on her. She can tell him everything, and be told everything, — whereas her previous confidences, made with those of her own sex, have been tame, and by comparison valueless. He has no new confidence to make, — unless when he comes to tell her he likes his meat well done, and wants his breakfast to be punctual. Lucy now not only promised herself, but did actually realise a great joy. He seemed to her all that her heart desired. He was a man whose manner was naturally caressing and demonstrative, and she was to him, of all women, the sweetest, the dearest, the most perfect, — and all his own. “But, Frank,” — she had already been taught to call him Frank when they were alone together, — “what will come of all this about Lizzie Eustace?”

“They will be married, — of course.”

“Do you think so? I am sure Lady Fawn doesn’t think so.”

“What Lady Fawn thinks on such a matter cannot be helped. When a man asks a woman to marry him, and she accepts, the natural consequence is that they will be married. Don’t you think so?”

“I hope so, — sometimes,” said Lucy, with her two hands joined upon his arm, and hanging to it with all her little weight.

“You really do hope it?” he said.

“Oh, I do; you know I do. Hope it! I should die if I didn’t hope it.”

“Then why shouldn’t she?” He asked his question with a quick, sharp voice, and then turned upon her for an answer.

“I don’t know,” she said, very softly, and still clinging to him. “I sometimes think there is a difference in people.”

“There is a difference; but, still, we hardly judge of people sufficiently by our own feelings. As she accepted him, you may be sure that she wishes to marry him. She has more to give than he has.”

“And I have nothing to give,” she said.

“If I thought so, I’d go back even now,” he answered. “It is because you have so much to give, — so much more than most others, — that I have thought of you, dreamed of you as my wife, almost ever since I first knew you.”

“I have nothing left to give,” she said. “What I ever had is all given. People call it the heart. I think it is heart, and brain, and mind, and body, — and almost soul. But, Frank, though Lizzie Eustace is your cousin, I don’t want to be likened to her. She is very clever, and beautiful, — and has a way with her that I know is charming; —
but — “

“But what, Lucy?”

“I don’t think she cares so much as some people. I dare say she likes Lord Fawn very well, but I do not believe she loves him as I love you.”

“They’re engaged,” said Frank, “and the best thing they can do is to marry each other. I can tell you this, at any rate,” — and his manner again became serious, — “if Lord Fawn behaves ill to her, I, as her cousin, shall take her part.”

“You don’t mean that you’ll — fight him!”

“No, my darling. Men don’t fight each other now-a-days; — not often, at least, and Fawn and I are not of the fighting sort. I can make him understand what I mean and what others will mean without fighting him. He is making a paltry excuse.”

“But why should he want to excuse himself — without reason?”

“Because he is afraid. People have got hold of him and told him lies, and he thinks there will be a scrape about this necklace, and he hates a scrape. He’ll marry her at last, without a doubt, and Lady Fawn is only making trouble for herself by trying to prevent it. You can’t do anything.”

“Oh no; — I can’t do anything. When she was here it became at last quite disagreeable. She hardly spoke to them, and I’m sure that even the servants understood that there was a quarrel.” She did not say a word of Lizzie’s offer of the brooch to herself, nor of the stories which by degrees were reaching her ears as to the old debts, and the diamonds, and the young bride’s conduct to Lady Linlithgow as soon as she married her grand husband, Sir Florian. She did think badly of Lizzie, and could not but regret that her own noble, generous Frank should have to expend his time and labour on a friend unworthy of his friendship; but there was no shade of jealousy in her feeling, and she uttered no word against Lizzie more bitter than that in which she declared that there was a difference between people.

And then there was something said as to their own prospects in life. Lucy at once and with vehemence declared that she did not look for or expect an immediate marriage. She did not scruple to tell him that she knew well how difficult was the task before him, and that it might be essential for his interest that he should remain as he was for a year or two. He was astonished to find how completely she understood his position, and how thoroughly she sympathised with his interests. “There is only one thing I couldn’t do for you,” she said.

“And what is the one thing?”

“I couldn’t give you up. I almost thought that I ought to refuse you because I can do nothing, — nothing to help you. But there will always come a limit to self-denial. I couldn’t do that! Could I?”

The reader will know how this question was answered, and will not want to be told of the long, close, clinging, praiseworthy kiss with which the young barrister assured her that would have been on her part an act of self-denial which would to him have been absolutely ruinous. It was agreed, however, between them, that Lady Fawn should be told that they did not propose to marry till some time in the following year, and that she should be formally asked to allow Lucy to have a home at Fawn Court in the interval.

Lord Fawn had promised, as he put Lizzie into her carriage, that he would come to her soon, — but he did not come soon. A fortnight passed and he did not show himself. Nothing further had been done in the matter of the diamonds, except that Mr. Camperdown had written to Frank Greystock, explaining how impossible it was that the question of their possession should be referred to arbitration. According to him they belonged to the heir, as did the estate; and no one would have the power of accepting an arbitration respecting them, — an arbitration which might separate them from the estate of which an infant was the owner for his life, — any more than such arbitration could be accepted as to the property of the estate itself. “Possession is nine points of the law,” said Frank to himself, as he put the letter aside, — thinking at the same time that possession in the hands of Lizzie Eustace included certainly every one of those nine points. Lizzie wore her diamonds again and then again. There may be a question whether the possession of the necklace and the publicity of their history, — which, however, like many other histories, was most inaccurately told, — did not add something to her reputation as a lady of fashion. In the meantime, Lord Fawn did not come to see her. So she wrote to him. “My dear Frederic, had you not better come to me? Yours affectionately, — L. I go to the North at the end of this month.”