The Other Side of Love (Forever Love) (9 page)

“I think I’m just going to go home.” I walked away from her without looking her in the eyes. I felt disgusted with myself
, and I couldn’t stop the churning feeling of horror that was seeping into my veins. What we had done hadn’t been sexy or fun. It had been invasive and creepy. Who was I becoming? This wasn’t who I was. But now I was starting to wonder who she was.

“Noah
,” she called after me and I turned to look at her slowly, trying to ignore the mixed feelings that rushed through me at her face. “Remember what I said before.” She looked at me coldly as she held a finger up to her lips. I turned away from her and walked away quickly with my heart pounding. I didn’t know what to think or say but all of a sudden I wanted to be anywhere but in Palm Bonita. That night I had insomnia and all I could think of was how disappointed Zane would be with me. And so I went to my stash of cash and slipped $5,000 in an envelope and left it in the Smith’s mailbox. Giving them the cash helped to assuage some of my guilt, but I still felt uneasy. That was the day that I realized that she had an evil side. And I was scared that I had gotten her all wrong.

“
You coming in, Noah?” Lucky opened the door and peeked out at me with a smile.

“Yeah, sorry. Just got distracted.”

“So what’s this I hear about a dinner date?” Her voice was excited and happy, and I knew that at least I had gotten one thing right.

“Remember that waitress at the restaurant?”

“The one that didn’t like you?”

“Yeah,” I laughed. “Well she’s coming over to dinner tonight.”

“Tonight!” Her jaw fell open and I could see a million questions in her eyes. “Come inside, we need to decide what to cook.”

“I’m sure whatever you make will be good.” I followed her inside and into the kitchen.

“Whatever I decide to cook?” She laughed and shook her head. “You Beaumont brothers are really incorrigible.” She slipped her arm through mine and smiled up at me. “There is no way I’m cooking the whole dinner tonight. But I’ll help.”

“Please, Lucky.” I gave her a pleading smile and she shook her head.

“Nope. Anyways, it will be more romantic if you cook most of it. Right, Zane?” She looked over at him and he rolled his eyes.

“I have no clue.” He shrugged. “I don’t care who cooks the food as long as it tastes good.”

“Zane.” Lucky frowned at him. “So I guess you don’t want me to cook anymore.”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant
,” he backtracked quickly and I chuckled.

“Now, now, children. No need to bicker.” I looked down at Lucky and saw the mirth in her eyes as she beamed up at me.

“What about steak?”

“That sounds good.”

“Is she vegetarian, though?” She suddenly frowned.

“I have no idea.” I shrugged. “Should I call and ask her?”

“No, no.” She pursed her lips. “I’m sure she would have said if she was.”

“Who is she?” Zane interrupted us with a confused look. “
Who are you two talking about?”

“Robin.” Lucky and I said at the same time and laughed.

“And Robin is who?” Zane looked just as confused, and I caught him glaring at the intersection of my arm with Lucky’s.

“The girl from the restaurant last week.” Lucky detached herself from me and walked over and gave him a big kiss and put her arms around his neck. “I would have thought you would have remembered her, the way you were going on about her.”

“The restaurant?” He kissed her back and ran his hands up and down her back. “Oh, the bitch?” He looked at me in surprise. “I know I joked around and told you she wanted you, but I was just joking, bro, no need to follow up on it.”

“I totally asked her out because you told me she wanted me.” I rolled my eyes at him and then looked at Lucky. “How did he get you? You seem like too smart a girl to fall for my dumbass brother.”

“Watch your mouth.” Zane grinned at me. “She recognized an awesome guy when she saw one.”

“I did?” Lucky blinked. “Where is he?”

“See what you’ve done now, Noah?” He tickled Lucky and she squealed as she tried to get away from him.

“Stop,” she cried out as she laughed. “I need to help Noah.”

“See what you have to look forward to?” Zane pulled Lucky towards him and held her in his arms and kissed her head.

“Doesn’t look so bad.”

“It’s not so bad. She’s not so bad. I think I’ll keep her.”

“Really, Zane Beaumont?” She glared up at him.

“Uh oh. I better leave you guys to it, before she decides to call off the wedding.” Zane made a face and I laughed.

“Have you guys set a date yet?”

“No.” Lucky shook her head. “I can’t decide if we should get married before or after the babies are born.”

“I say we fly to Vegas tomorrow and just get it over with.” Zane grinned. “We could have Elvis serenade us.”

“Yeah, why not?” Lucky rolled her eyes. “Idiot.” She mumbled under her breath and winked at me. “Now let’s talk dinner. How’s about steak, herb-roasted potatoes and a big salad?”

“If I get to make the salad
,” I laughed. “Or grill the steak. I have no idea how to make herb-roasted potatoes.”

“So do you like Robin?” Lucky looked at me quizzically. “Like a lot?”

“Lucky, he just met the girl. Give him a chance to get to know her before you have us at a double wedding.”

“I do think I like her.” I nodded slowly. “At least, what I know of her so far seems pretty great.”

“So this may be the first of many dates?” Lucky looked excited. “Like we could go on a double date sometime soon?”

“Slow down, there.” I laughed, and watched as Zane gave me a look as if to say ‘I told you so.
’ “Let’s get through this dinner first.”

“She’s very beautiful.” Lucky stared at me. “I mean, she was a bit of a shrew, but she’s beautiful.”

“She apologized to me.” I saw them look at me in surprise. “I saw her the other day when I was running. She’s nice, nicer than that day in the restaurant.”

“It’s the waitresses these days. They think they can talk to you any way that they want.” Zane laughed as Lucky hit him in the arm. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Ass.” Lucky shook her head at him. “But I’m glad you like her. I think she seemed pretty nice.”

“Yeah. I think I’m willing to give it a chance. See where it goes.” I was surprised at the words as they came out of my mouth. I hadn’t realized until that moment that I really was interested in seeing how everything went. “I think it’s time for me to move on with my life.” I smiled at them both briefly. “Now, shall we get cooking?”

“Yes, Zane go and get the …” Lucky started talking, but I was distracted by my ringing phone.

“Excuse me.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I hope that’s not Robin calling to cancel already.” I joked and then looked at the screen. All the blood drained out of my face as I saw the name flashing on my phone. It was Skylar. My heart stopped for a moment as I stared at the phone. Questions ran through my brain as I hurried out of the kitchen to answer the call.

“Hello.” I whispered into the phone, all thoughts of Robin dropping out of my mind. “Skylar, is that you?”

Chapter 7

“Skylar,” I said again, but then I heard a click and there was dead silence on the other side. I immediately tried to call the number back again, but it just rang and rang without going to voicemail. “Damn it,” I cursed under my breath. My stomach was in knots and I wasn’t sure how I was going to continue on with the night. It was like life didn’t want me to move on just yet. Maybe it hadn’t been a good idea to invite Robin over for dinner. It had been an impetuous invitation and now I was regretting it. I tried calling the number again and nearly threw my phone across the room when she didn’t answer. I was worried. I knew that she wouldn’t call me unless it was important.
Unless it was a set-up. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, not knowing what to do. Part of me thought I should just catch a plane to Orlando and then drive to Palm Bonita and do whatever I could to get to Skylar.

“Noah,” Zane walked out of the kitchen and stared at me with a look of worry on his face. “You okay? Who was that?”

“I’m fine.” I gave him a weak smile and started to walk away from him.

“Was it Mom?” His voice sounded angry, and I shook my head as I continued walking. “Was it Mom?” His voice was louder as he followed behind me.

“No.” I turned around and looked him in the eyes. “No, it wasn’t.”

“She has your number
, though?”

“Yes.” I couldn’t lie to him, even though I wanted to.

“And she calls you?” His eyes looked bleak and I didn’t want to have this conversation now, but I was angry and annoyed.

“Yes, she calls me. But I’m not talking to her anymore.”

“Well, I’m glad you have that option.” He looked angry and confused. “You’re going to have to forgive me if I’m being a jackass here, but what the fuck is going on? I really don’t understand it. Our mother won’t say jack shit to me even when I fly halfway across the world to see her. Yet she’s calling you every fucking Friday and telling you how much she loves you?”

“That wasn’t her.” I shook my head. “And she doesn’t call me often. She hasn’t called me in a while. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in over a year.”

“Why not? You’re the brother who always wanted to find her. Why haven’t you set up a big family reunion already to show me that you were right all along and dear old Mummy was back?”

“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was best for us not to find her.” I stared into his eyes, willing him to see and understand where I was coming from. “She doesn’t know the meaning of right and wrong, Zane. She doesn’t know what true love is. We were better
off without her. We still have each other.”

“Well, she clearly wants you and her new son. What am I? Pig fat?” He walked towards the front door. “I can’t do this right now. I’m going out.”

“Wait.” I touched his shoulder. “Don’t be like that.”

“Why not?” He glared at me and brushed my hand off of him. “You’re clearly not in a talking mood.”

“I’m sorry.” I took a big breath. “And I’m really confused right now. I could really use your support right now.”

“What’s wrong?” He froze and looked at me with a worried expression. “Are you sick, Noah?”

I shook my head, unable to speak, as he stared at me with extreme love and concern. My heart swelled for the man who was my brother and best friend. The man who looked out for me even when he was hurt inside. The man I knew would do anything for me; actually, had done everything for me. And I knew that I couldn’t take the easy way out. I knew that the easy way out might make it better for me, but it would break his heart and I couldn’t do that.

“Are you gay?” He continued. “Is that why you’re confused? You know I will love you no matter what, right? I told Lucky not to push you into getting a girlfriend. I’m so sorry
, bro, I never meant for you to—”

“Zane, I’m not gay.” I laughed and shook my head in amusement. “Though, I do appreciate your support if I was.”

“I was about to say, my gaydar is totally off.” He laughed along with me, and for a few moments we had an easy camaraderie.

“I met someone in Palm Bonita. I told you that already.” I paused. “But it’s a lot more complicated than I told you about.”

“Oh, shit.” Zane’s eyes widened. “Did you get her pregnant?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes. “And to be fair, that’s a bit of a funny question coming from you.”

“Huh?” He looked at me blankly and then laughed. “Well, you know. I’m the older brother. It’s okay if I make mistakes.”

“I heard that, Zane.”
Lucky’s voice called out from behind us. “It’s nice to know our babies are your mistake.”

“I didn’t mean that.” Zane made a face at me and then looked at Lucky with pleading eyes. “You know I love you and our babies.” He continued and Lucky groaned, and smiled at me.

“Uh huh.”

“That was just a foot-in-mouth moment.”

“You mean it was a that-shouldn’t-have-been-heard-by-the-fiancée moment!” She walked over to him and socked him in the shoulder. “You’re lucky that I’m not going to get mad at that comment.”

“You’re not?” He grinned at her happily.

“No,” She smiled at me. “But only because Noah is trying to tell you something and you haven’t given him the opportunity to get it out.”

“But you’re the one that keeps talking.” He frowned at her. “Not me.”

“You’re talking right now.”

“But you’re talking right now as well.”

“But you just continued talking, even though you know Noah is waiting.”

“So did you.” He stuck his tongue out at her and she leaned in to kiss him. “Don’t start something you can’t continue.” He whispered as his arms circled her and I groaned at them.

“You two need to get a room.” I shook my head and Lucky disentangled herself from Zane and walked over to me.

“Not right now, we don’t.
You guys need to go and talk about whatever’s bothering you.” She pushed me towards Zane. “Go in the living room. I’ll get dinner ready.”

“But what about the salad?”

“You’ll make it next time.” She smiled at me gently. “And trust me, I’ll hold you to that.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She smiled again before walking back towards the kitchen and my heart filled with even more love for her. It was weird that I had only known her for a few weeks, because she already felt like my family.

“Wait.” I called out to her and she turned around with a surprised look.

“Yes?”

“I want you to come in the living room as well. I want to tell you both what I have to say.” I looked at them back and forth and felt waves of happiness and jealousy wash over me as I saw Lucky and Zane exchange a look of love and
joy.

“Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to tell me.”

“You’re my family now, Lucky. I want you to know. Plus, I’m sure Zane would tell you anyways.”

“No, he would never break your confidence,” Lucky protested, but I held up my hand to stop her.

“I don’t mind if he does. Not with you. You’re the woman he loves, the mother of his unborn children, shoot, you’re the mother of my niece and nephew. I want him to tell you. You shouldn’t have secrets. Not with the one you love. Not with your life partner.”

“You sound like you’re talking from experience, bro,” Zane questioned me and I sighed as I walked to the living room with them and we all sat down. I took a deep breath before beginning. I held up my phone and started, “The phone call I got just now was from a girl named Skylar. She’s a girl that I met in Palm Bonita. She’s the girl I can’t stop thinking about. The girl
who makes me wish I could move mountains.” I paused and gave them a rueful smile. “She’s the girl who made me realize that love and family isn’t based on bloodlines and that it isn’t always pretty. She’s also the girl who hates me with all her heart.” I looked at the floor then and took a deep breath. My heart was beating so quickly that I thought that I was going to have a heart attack. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that the pain in my chest might end my life before I had a chance to do anything meaningful.

“What happened in Palm Bonita, Noah?” Zane’s expression was as soft as his tone and I wondered at how he was able to go from ang
ry to caring in mere minutes.

“When I arrived in Palm Bonita, I met a girl. She was exciting and carefree and we got into a relationship pretty quickly.” I sighed. “It wasn’t something I had planned or wanted, but I was angry at the situation I was in, and I was missing you and my life. I needed something to take the time and pain away. She offered me solace, in and out of the bed. And I jumped at the chance to get away, mentally and physically, from everything that was going on.” I paused to make sure that I wasn’t going too fast. “But she wasn’t who I thought she was.”

“She wasn’t?” Lucky prodded after a long silence.

“No.” I shook my head.

“How so?” Lucky’s eyes were wide.

“For one, she was married.” I saw
Lucky’s mouth drop open and Zane gave me an amused look. “She wasn’t living with the husband or anything. She was actually in Palm Bonita because she wanted to get away from him.”

“That’s not so bad, then.” Lucky gave me an encouraging look. “If you thought she was going to get divorced.”

“I didn’t even know she was married until the end.” I shrugged. “Though all the signs were there.”

“Is that why you broke up?” Lucky asked again and then bit her lip. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that
…”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “But no, that’s not why we broke up. I realized she wasn’t the person I thought she was.”

“Because she lied to you about being married?”

“No. You would think that would be it, right?” I chortled to myself, not believing that I was actually talking about everything.

“So what was it?” Zane’s voice was impatient and I held back a laugh. Trust my brother to want to get to the meaty part of the story right away.

“There was this girl, another girl in town. Well, she and I became friendly. More than friendly, and I developed feelings for her.” I paused, not sure how to continue with the story. “Well, the girl I was dating didn’t like that. And she treated the new girl badly.” I knew that I was being vague, but for some reason I didn’t want to tell them everything about our relationship. It was too close to home and too painful.

“So you cheated on your girlfriend?” Lucky looked at me in disappointment.

“He can’t cheat if she’s married.” Zane gave her a look and I felt a surge of love toward him for sticking up for me.

“I didn’t cheat.” I said emphatically. “In fact, we continued dating. I thought I could convince her to treat the other girl better. But it backfired. And I found out that I had ruined everything.” I closed my eyes as I thought about the bleakness in Skylar’s eyes as she realized that I wasn’t going to be her savior. That no matter how much I wanted to be the one to save her from her life, I couldn’t. I think both of our hearts broke that day. And there was nothing either one of us could do to change the facts. It was harder for her to accept because she still had faith and believed in miracles. But I knew that there wasn’t going to be a miracle; there would be no parting of the Red Sea. I was no Moses.

“Are you okay, Noah?”
Lucky’s voice sounded worried, and I opened my eyes slowly. I stared at the two of them on the couch, snuggled into each other’s arms, and I envied them. I envied how perfect their life was and how lucky they were to have found each other. How simple everything had been for them. It was what I thought my life was going to be like.

“I can still remember the day that I realized I loved Skylar.” I talked without making eye contact with either of them. “We’d gone to the park and she wanted to go to the swings, and of course she wanted me to actually swing as well. I’d laughed, of course, because there were a bunch of little kids and I felt like a creep taking over one of the swings, but the joy on her face dissipated any feelings of worry or concern. Of course, I only stayed on the swing for a few minutes since I still felt slightly self-conscious. A grown man swinging on a swing in the middle of the day is not cute.”

“It sounds pretty adorable to me.” Lucky grinned and I smiled back at her before I continued talking.

“So, I decided to push her, so that she could go higher and higher. And she started laughing in delight. And she let go of the handles and put her hands in the air and she squealed out that she felt like she was flying. And I laughed and told her that I wished that I could fly. And she looked back at me and said, ‘Every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m flying
.’”

I stopped
talking as my throat grew dry. I could still picture the open joy and honesty in her eyes as she grinned at me, a purely happy smile full of love and trust. “And I told her that every time I was with her, I felt like I could fly.” I stopped talking as emotions overtook me. “It was a perfect moment and I realized that love can hit you in the most unexpected ways.”

“If you still love Skylar, maybe you can try and date her still.” Lucky sounded hopeful.

“What?” I looked at her in confusion. “I don’t think you understand. Skylar is—”