The Other Eight (21 page)

“I told you it was her,” he taller friend
gushed, straightening a puffy sweater that was either a decision
based entirely on fashion or evidence of severe body heat
issues.

“We are
such
big fans,” continued the
first. “I was never really into the whole superhero thing, but you
kick
so
much butt.”

“We have
got
to get a picture with
you.
Oh my God!
Is that Bomb Sniffer, too? And
Chloroplast!”

The two girls degenerated from a tag-team
assault of adoration to incomprehensible groupie squeals. For the
next five minutes cell phones were held awkwardly at arm’s length
and waitresses were waylaid until the girls, followed by a group of
young men and then some college girls, who were attracted by the
commotion, each got pictures with the would-be super-team. Finally
Nonsensica managed to excuse herself. Non Sequitur, not exactly the
most sought after member of the team, threw down his part of the
waffle bill and joined her. She leaned against the wall, the happy
face she’d put on for the cameras slowly giving way to something
between anger and hopelessness.

“You okay?” he asked.

She sighed. “It’s times like this I wish I
smoked, you know? It just seems like what I should be doing right
now. Dragging on a cigarette, under a streetlight at midnight,
contemplating this whole mess.”

“Yeah, but what sort of a message would that
send to your adoring fans?” he asked, offering a weak smile.

“Don’t,” she said, turning her eyes to him
and squinting. “Just don’t.”

“Look,” he said, putting a hand on her
shoulder. “We all knew it was a long shot.”

“I don’t care if it was a billion to one
chance, Non Sequitur. If there was ever a shot at all, a fair shot,
I would have made it. I would have done what it took, worked as
hard as I had to, and got it done. This was it. This was my chance.
It was all I had.”

“So you bask in the fame for a while, then go
back to your old life. How bad could that be?”

She sighed again, then looked left and right.
A few drunks were heading into the Waffle House, so she waved him
around the corner of the building where they were out of sight and
earshot of any witnesses. When she was sure of it, she spoke.

“Guiying Berrish,” she said.

He furrowed his brow. “Nothing happened that
time.”

Her shoulders slumped a bit. “I’m not trying
to use my powers on you, I’m telling you my name.” She removed her
goggles. “My name is Guiying Berrish.”

“Oh! Uh, that’s nice name,” he said.

“It’s a mouthful. My friends call me Gee. You
know what I do for a living? I’m a waitress at a Chinese buffet
that my mom owns,” she said. “I’m an Asian woman who works at a
Chinese buffet, and I know martial arts. I’m practically a
caricature. That’s my life. I refill drinks and soy sauce
bottles.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I
know
there’s nothing wrong with
that, but I was meant for more! This was going to be my way to
finally become something special.”

“You’ll have other chances.”

“No, Non Sequitur. I won’t. Not to be a
legitimate, sanctioned superhero. You might, but not me.”

“With your skills? Your dedication?”

“Don’t be so naïve. Skills and dedication are
great, but it all comes down to the powers. Powers are what get
your foot in the door. You’ve got the power to bend space and time.
I’ve got the power to make people flinch. I’ve got the same
superpowers as a flashbulb. If FM hadn’t leaked this whole project
to the world, I never would have known it was happening, because
they sure as heck wouldn’t have sought me out. I wanted to be a
hero, Non Sequitur. And now I won’t be. Ever.” There were tears in
her eyes now as she looked up to him. “And you know what the worst
part is?”

“What?”

“You.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“Nothing!” she said. “Don’t think it doesn’t
show. While I’ve been giving a hundred and ten percent, you’ve been
giving eighty. You’ve got awesome powers,
awesome
, and
you’re just squandering them on whatever it is you’re looking
forward to going back to when this sham comes to a close.
You
actually had a shot at his, you know. The notes are all
about how the general in charge wanted you in, but then he changed
his mind when you didn’t quite meet expectations. If I had half of
the power you had, I would have been first on the list. Seeing you
barely even trying, seeing that you don’t even want to be a hero,
is a slap in the face.”

“Look, no offense to the rest of you. It just
isn’t my thing.”

“How can that be! There were over a thousand
people in that line on day one, and I talked to hundreds of them.
You’re the only one who wasn’t frothing at the mouth for this
opportunity. How can you have a great power but not feel the need
to put it to good use?”

“Because I’ve seen what happens when someone
like you or me gets in over our heads. Seriously, it isn’t like
we’re invincible! Bullets don’t bounce off of us, we don’t heal
super fast. It doesn’t take a super villain to take us down, it
takes an idiot with a gun. It doesn’t make sense for us to put
ourselves out there, to put our lives on the line time and time
again. Eventually the luck runs out, and we don’t come home.”

“That’s the risk you take,” she said.

“And what about the ones who didn’t sign up
for that? What about the wives and husbands. What about the
kids?”

“You’ve got a wife and kids?”

“No.”

“Well, then why… wait,” she said. She thought
back to the chats they’d had. “You said that your dad was in law
enforcement. And that he died when you were nine… Where are you
from?”

“Chicago.”

“You’re from Chicago and your dad died right
about the same time as… your dad wasn’t…”

He nodded slowly.

“Ambition? Ambition was
your father
?!”
she said. “No wonder you’ve got such a good power! It’s in the
genes! What was he like?”

“Injured, mostly. And when he wasn’t injured,
he was out
getting
injured. Mom has powers, too. She can
change her hair color. It isn’t in the same class as Dad’s powers,
but she got a job as a model. That’s where our money came from,
since Dad didn’t get a paycheck from the city or anything.”

“Powers on both sides…”

“That’s probably why she wouldn’t let up on
me until I came and tried out. She had the whole hero mindset, too.
Even after what happened to Dad.”

“Wow. With a backstory like that, we’re lucky
you didn’t turn villain,” she said.

“It isn’t a backstory; it’s my life! We
aren’t fictional characters. We don’t need catchphrases and
origins. And we don’t need to risk our lives fighting crime. Super
villains are even more rare than superheroes. It isn’t like
costumed maniacs are flooding the streets, running wild until
people like us stop them! And…” He cocked his head to the side,
suddenly noticing something in the street outside. “What’s with all
of the traffic? It’s almost 11 p.m., isn’t it?”

Nonsensica turned and joined him in peering
across the highway. It had been clear just a few minutes ago when
they’d stepped outside. Now every lane in both directions was
clogged with cars. Across the highway stood some sort of large
office park with a multistory building at its center, the walls
completely covered with windows. The parking lot around it sat
empty except for three cars. As the two heroes stepped toward the
road to get a better look, the car doors popped open, and out
stepped a dozen or so individuals, some of whom stuck out like sore
thumbs even across four lanes of beeping traffic. Most were dressed
in unremarkable dark clothing, but among them were two women, one
in a skimpy white costume with a cape and the other in leather. The
strangest was a man in bright yellow, wearing a chicken mask, with
a sledgehammer in his hand.

“You were saying?” Nonsensica said with a
grin.

“What are the odds?”

“Pretty good whenever I’m around,” Johnny On
the Spot said, stepping out the restaurant. “Either of you got a
smoke? I’m out.”

She smiled and slid her goggles back into
place. “If I’m not making it onto that squad, I’m at least going to
foil one robbery.”

The door to the Waffle House swung open and
out stepped Gracias. “Hey guys! I got that grad student’s phone
number. She and her friend are botanists, and they want to ‘study’
me and Chloroplast. Wink, wink. Score another one for Team Green!”
he said.

“Get the others, Gracias. There’s evil
afoot,” Nonsensica said, pointing to the trio of villains across
the street.

Gracias looked. “No way. No way! Hey guys,
come on, it’s showtime!”

“You guys
have your orders. We’re looking for something in the shipping room.
It’ll be a red box in the outgoing area about the size of a car
radio. Get it and we’re gone,” Chicken Scratch called out. He
singled out one of his darkly dressed cohorts and held out the
sledgehammer. “You, bust the door.”

The nameless thug snatched the tool and
rushed to comply.

“From this point forward, no heists without
minions,” he said with satisfaction. “Best hundred bucks a head
I’ve ever spent.”

“You can say that again,” Dentata agreed. “I
never realized minions were so affordable.”

“I might not even have to use my powers this
time around, which would be nice. Still a little sore from last
time,” Pollinatrix said.

“Stop right there!” warned a voice from the
edge of the highway.

The three villains turned to the road to see
Phosphor and Nonsensica standing battle ready. Nonsensica had her
non-chucks out, spinning them expertly. Phosphor brandished twin
fluorescent bulbs like swords, each one glowing.

“Do-gooders,” growled Chicken Scratch. “It’s
two of those overrated idiots who have been polluting the Internet
with their pointless exploits.” He turned to the nearest pair of
minions. “You two, get inside and bring me the box. The rest of
you, take care of those two… oh, there’s more of them.”

Chloroplast and Gracias were the next to
appear, followed by The Number, Bomb Sniffer, and finally, Non
Sequitur.

“I’ve been waiting to use these,” Pollinatrix
said, uncoiling a bullwhip and brandishing a riding crop. “My
costume guy threw them in for free for some reason. Attack!”

“Nonsensica, you take the lady in leather.
I’ll take the man in yellow. Bomb Sniffer, the lady in white.
Number, help her,” Phosphor dictated. “Team Green, defend the cars.
Make sure they can’t get away. Non Sequitur, you’re on support.
Anyone gets in over their heads, bail them out.”

“Let’s do this,” Nonsensica said, reveling in
the long-awaited battle.

Non-chucks twirling, she launched herself at
Pollinatrix. The villain cracked her whip and swiped with the crop,
once again moving with surprising nimbleness considering her
cumbersome footwear. Nonsensica leaped, dove, and rolled around
her, dodging the lash of the whip and the fists and feet of the
poorly organized but extremely eager hired thugs.

“I’m warning you,” Pollinatrix stated. “If
you don’t back off, I’ll have to use my powers. Neither of us wants
that to happen.”

“You can’t scare me, villain!”

Two thugs closed in on either side, but
Nonsensica sprang away, delivering a boot to the gut and a
non-chuck to the side of the head that sent them staggering.

“Wine weasel!” Nonsensica blurted.

The words caused Pollinatrix to flinch, and a
snap of the whip missed to the left. Nonsensica grabbed the leather
tip and yanked it from her hand. The two exchanged a few attempted
kicks and weapon strikes, each managing to just barely avoid
feeling the wrath of the other. Finally Nonsensica got close enough
to land a punishing shot with the non-chucks, and received a slap
across the face from the crop in return.

“So you wanna play rough?” the hero asked
with a grin. In a single motion she holstered the non-chucks and
dove at the villain, sending the pair sprawling to the ground.

#

“Minions! Protect me!” ordered Dentata.
Judging from her tone, her opinion of the super villain business
had plummeted once she realized that there would be opposition.

A pair of thugs, the battered ones who had
discovered Nonsensica wasn’t the pushover they’d expected, answered
the call and stalked toward Bomb Sniffer

“Uh, uh, little help?” she said, fists
awkwardly raised in a manner that practically screamed
“inexperienced fighter.”

The Number swept in and stood back-to-back
with her, his stance somewhat more confident, though his face was a
mask of barely contained panic. They circled slowly around, the
surrounding thugs holding back for fear of what powers these two
might have.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Make with
the dance fighting!” Bomb Sniffer whispered urgently.

“I can’t! I didn’t bring my gear, and even if
I did, no earplugs. You guys would dance, too,” he said.

“Well, that’s kind of a big limitation on
your power, isn’t it?”

“I don’t see you sniffing out anything
useful.”

“So what do we do, just fight?”

“Looks like it. I’ll take one of the guys,
you take the girl.”

She nodded shakily. The Number crouched and
sprang in a graceful dive that drove his shoulder hard into the gut
of one of the thugs, knocking him down and leaving two to grapple.
Bomb Sniffer charged through the opening left by the attack and
stopped just short of her target, turning her head aside and
squinting her eyes. She swiped wildly with her hands, evidently
attempting to either slap Dentata or rake her with her fingernails.
The villain cringed and returned a similarly ineffectual sequence
of attacks. The two continued in that fashion, failing to even make
contact with one another. The Number was in something of a
stalemate with his own opponent, rolling on the ground and trying
to get the upper hand. The remaining thug decided to go after Bomb
Sniffer, but The Number managed to lash out and grab his ankle,
sending him to the ground as well.