The One That Got Away (15 page)

The door opens and I can see Nathan standing
there and he doesn’t look good. His face is pale and drawn and he
looks tired. He manages a weak smile and invites me in. I notice
that he sees the box and a hurt expression crosses his face.

Putting the box down I turn to face him. He
looks so worried and for some reason I want to make it better for
him. Taking his hand I lead him over to the settee. He looks
surprised and almost hopeful. We sit down and I let go of his hand.
He goes to speak but I hold up my hand. I need to control this
situation and say what I need to before he does.

“
Nathan,
please just listen to me first.” I say looking at him firmly. He
nods and looks at me with a worried expression. “Firstly, I just
want to say that I know when and how it started with Melissa and
strangely I understand why it happened. I don’t hate you or her and
it’s taken me this time out to put everything into perspective.” He
looks quite shocked, he probably was expecting me to shout and
scream at him emotionally.

Carrying on I say, “I’m not going to pretend
that I wasn’t shocked and hurt, hearing that you had been seeing
Melissa. The fact that she is pregnant just made it all the more
worse. I feel betrayed by you and can’t forgive the fact that you
did everything behind my back whilst maintaining a loving
relationship with me at the same time. For goodness sake we were
even planning our wedding and looking to the future. How on earth
could you be doing that with me whilst sleeping with another
woman?”

The hurt that I felt is coming back to me as
I see him looking at me uncomfortably. I take a deep breath and
say, “However, during this last couple of days I can see that it
wasn’t right between us. Why would I let my friend plan our
wedding? Surely it should be the most important thing for me to do
myself. And you, you weren’t even bothered by it. You just said
that you would turn up and to let you know when and where.”

He goes to speak but I silence him by holding
my hand up and saying, “I don’t want to hear it. Let me say what I
have to say first.” He nods and looks down as I say, “It is obvious
that we weren’t ready for the commitment. I don’t want to part on
bad terms and lets just leave it that we had a lucky escape. I am
not going to cause you any trouble and will be civil when we meet.
But that is it. I will leave you to tell your family and friends
and I will tell mine.”

I see how dejected he looks and once again
take his hand. “The fact that I can let you go this easily says it
all doesn’t it? I loved being in a relationship with you. You made
me so happy and I could never hate you. You will find love with the
person that is meant for you and so I will I. It’s time to move
on.” I wipe the tears from my eyes as despite how I feel I do love
him. I will miss him so much and I feel as if a part of me has
died. He looks at me with a stricken expression and starts to speak
in a husky emotional voice. “Bella, I don’t want to lose you. I
know what I did is unforgivable but I was hoping that we could work
it out.” I am shocked and it must shows on my face because he
quickly carries on.

“
I don’t love
Melissa, I never did. I suppose the first time I was drunk but then
I was flattered by the attention. She came to watch me at football
and we used to hang out afterwards. I never thought of anyone other
than my own ego and I am truly sorry for the hurt that it has
caused.” I can’t look at him anymore. I expected him to say he was
sorry, but I can’t believe what he is saying. Does he really think
that we can let it all go and carry on as before? What about
Melissa and the baby, and what about the fact that he let it happen
in the first place? I feel sick.

He turns to look at me remorse all over his
face. “Please give me another chance Bella? I promise that I will
spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you and I
can’t let you go.” He grabs hold of my hand and looks at me
pleadingly. I snatch my hand away.

“
Haven’t you
forgotten the small fact that Melissa is having your baby?” I shout
at him, suddenly very angry. “You don’t have a choice Nathan. You
have to be with her and even if she doesn’t want you, neither do
I.” I stand up; I have to get out of here before I totally lose my
cool. Alarm registers on his face and he grabs hold of me. “Please
Bella, don’t leave. We can work it out, I will find a way to
support Melissa and the baby but I can’t lose you.” Pulling away I
say, “You already have. Goodbye Nathan.” I race over to the door
and fling it open. I run down the stairs and keep on running;
trying to put as much space between as I can. Tears roll down my
face and I realise that they are angry tears at what he has become.
He doesn’t deserve my understanding and at this moment in time I
don’t care if I never see him again. I reach my car and in no time
at all I am driving away. I never thought of Nathan as weak but at
this moment I despise him for his lack of responsibility and desire
to have everything his own way.

When I get home I can see that Phoebe is home
from work. She sees the state I am in and with a cry races over and
hugs me. “Bella, whatever is the matter? Please come and sit down
and tell me everything.” Crying I follow her to the settee and she
hands me some tissues. Through my tears I tell her everything. I
start at the beginning when I met Ben again and don’t stop until
what has just happened. Tears are now running down both our cheeks
and she shakes her head in bewilderment. “I never knew, oh Bella,
you poor thing. I can’t take it all in.” I sniff and blow my nose
and we sit there together just hugging each other, both taking in
the events of the last few days in our own way.

The rest of the evening is spent going over
everything in more detail. We order a takeaway and open a bottle of
wine and talk for hours and hours. By the time it is bedtime we are
both emotionally drained. Phoebe eventually says, “Bella, go and
have a nice bath and get to bed. You need to try and get some sleep
and we can think about it again in the morning. If you like I will
stay off work and we can do something to take your mind off it
all.” I smile and shake my head. “Thanks Phoebs but I had better go
to my parents and tell them. I just want to get it over with and
move on with my life.” Phoebe looks thoughtful and says, “What
about Ben, is he a part of your future or is it too soon?” Thinking
of Ben makes me smile and I say, “I really hope so. It’s not an
ideal situation but I really need him.” Looking thoughtful she
smiles thinly at me and then hugs me. “Goodnight Bella, I hope you
sleep well.”

Chapter 19

I tell my parents the next day. They are now
in total shock and I feel for them as they loved Nathan like a son.
I also told them about Ben, saying that he was helping me and that
he had been there when I needed him most. I didn’t want them to
totally blame Nathan as although he had behaved atrociously I also
have to shoulder some of the blame myself. My mother hugs me tears
coursing down her cheeks. My father looks choked up and I feel bad
for them.

My mum pulls back and looks at me
symplathetically. “My little girl. What a terrible ordeal you have
gone through. Stay here with us until you recover and we will look
after you.” I smile gratefully. I am so lucky to have the support
of my family and best friend. “Thanks Mum, Dad. I have had a couple
of days to adjust to it all whereas you have only just found out. I
am fine, really, and I just want to get on with things. I am going
back to work next week and then I am just going to concentrate on
my career.”

My mum sniffs. “Where does Ben fit into all
this?” The question takes me by surprise and I just shrug. “I don’t
know. All I do know is that he has been amazing through it all and
I was lucky that he was around.”

I stay for a few more hours and help them
come to terms with it all. They have many questions and I try to
answer them but I am soon exhausted. I drive home and decide to
have a shower and get ready because Ben is picking me up at 7.30pm.
I haven’t heard from him since except for a text this morning. He
said to pack an overnight bag which sent excitement shooting
through me. Despite the emotional few days I am still very much
looking forward to seeing him again.

At 7.30pm on the dot he rings the doorbell.
Phoebe gets to it first and I notice her eyes widen as she sees him
standing in the doorway. I can see why as he is looking totally
gorgeous in his dark navy suit, very much the successful business
man. I realise that he must have come straight from work and he
looks tired.

He smiles at Phoebe and says, “Hi, You must
be Phoebe, Bella’s friend. I am very pleased to meet you.” He holds
out his hand and she shakes it smiling. As he looks over to me his
face softens. “Hi Bella, are you ready?” My knees feel weak just
looking at him and I blush as though this is our first date. I hug
Phoebe who is looking at us in amazement and we head towards his
car.

He takes my bag and places it in the boot as
I take a seat. He gets in and then leans over and fastens the
seatbelt for me. He kisses me on the lips and stares into my eyes
and says, “There’s no escaping now.” I feel a shiver of
anticipation run through me and I long to touch him and pull him
towards me, but he laughs and turns on the engine and we set
off.

“
Where are we
going Ben?” I ask him dying to know. He laughs. “We are going home
Bella.” I am surprised at his answer and he glances at me sideways
and I see his lips twitch in amusement. He then says softly, “I
have missed you.” Looking at him I smile and say softly, “I’ve
missed you too.” He places his hand on mine and squeezes it gently.
There is an atmosphere in the car of intensity and anticipation. We
don’t speak and I can’t help but feel myself getting weaker and
weaker with longing.

He drives to a village outside Guildford and
is soon pulling into the driveway of a large house, through
security gates and stopping outside a huge wooden front door. Even
in the darkness I can see that the house is impressive.

He grabs my bag from the boot and opens the
front door. The place is in darkness and he turns on a light in the
hallway. It is a large hallway with a magnificent staircase
dominating it. The house looks very modern and is an Interior
designers dream. He grins. “Come, I will show you around. You can
make yourself at home whilst I then cook you dinner.” He takes my
hand and proudly shows me around this impressive house. It is very
open plan and modern in its interior. The rooms are large and
tastefully decorated.

We stop in a huge kitchen which appears to
have every conceivable gadget and he grabs a bottle of wine from
the wine store built in to the kitchen. He says, “Why don’t you
pour us some wine whilst I go and get changed? “ I do as he says
and in no time at all he returns having changed into jeans and a T
shirt. It is taking all of my self control not to just jump on him
as he is looking so gorgeous.

He starts to prepare us a meal and I say,
“Can I do anything?” Gesturing to a drawer he says, “You set the
table. It won’t take long. I have to prepare quick meals for one
normally, so I am quite an expert at it now.” As I busy myself I
feel quite sorry at the thought of him living here in the middle of
nowhere all alone. It must be a lonely existence. Soon he has
whipped up a stir fry and we sit down to eat. It is amazing and I
look impressed. “Are you sure that you didn’t train as a chef? You
certainly know how to cook.” He laughs. “I like to do things
properly. I did take some classes once, which taught me a lot. I
don’t like to leave anything to chance and make sure that if I have
to do something I learn to do it well.”

I laugh and indicating around me say, “You
obviously do most things very well.” He smiles wickedly at me. “I
hope that you will find out that there are more talents of mine to
discover.” I blush again furiously hating the fact that he makes me
feel so embarrassed all the time. He laughs at my embarrassment.
“Come on, let’s go and relax for a bit. I have had a hell of a day
and I want to hear all about yours.”

We take our wine and go to the sitting room
and flop down onto his large L shaped settee. I am feeling quite
dizzy with the wine and seeing him looking so gorgeous isn’t
helping as I just want him to take me to bed.

“
So,” he says
looking at me intently, “What happened since we left, have you seen
Nathan?” I find myself telling him everything that has happened
since and the more I say the darker his eyes go. He looks extremely
angry by the time that I have finished and says, “I knew he was no
good. Thank goodness you found out.” I nod in agreement and he says
angrily, “I can move him to another store you know. You don’t have
to see him again if you don’t want to.” I shake my head and squeeze
his hand, “There is no need. My feelings for him have gone, if
anything they have been replaced by pity. He is going to need this
job and I don’t wish him any more trouble.” His eyes soften and he
pulls me to him, “You are a special person Bella. Not everybody
would be so forgiving.” I smile and say, “Well I can afford to be.
I feel bad that I am feeling so happy when I should be broken
hearted, and that is all down to you Ben.”

Reaching up I kiss him and he pulls me
roughly to him and kisses me passionately. I don’t want him to stop
but he pulls away. “Come, let me show you upstairs,” he says with a
wicked grin. I follow him in anticipation. One by one he shows me
the many bedrooms until I can almost bear it no longer. He stops in
the master bedroom and I see a huge room with a cream carpet and a
huge bed that dominates it. There is just a settee and two mirrored
bedside tables and it is decorated in pale greys and whites. There
is a huge mirror that takes up most of one wall and fluffy rugs
strategically placed around the room.