The No-cry Sleep Solution (47 page)

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Mother-Speak

“I finally realized that I had a hidden fear that if I night weaned her she would day wean too. I didn’t want that to happen so I was nursing her no matter the time of day or night. I’ve modified my thinking and now I nurse her for a long prebed session and a leisurely morning session instead of thinking we need to nurse all night long.”

Becky, mother of thirteen-month-old Melissa

additional awakenings. If you have a crib, you can try the sidecar arrangement—pushing the crib up next to your bed and letting baby have his own sleeping cubby. (At the risk of sounding like a nag, follow good safety measures if you do this.) I must tell you though, that some very persistent co-sleeping night wakers have “Mommy radar” and may continue their numerous wakings until Mommy and Baby sleep in different rooms. If you try all of my other ideas, and find that your baby is still waking frequently, you’ll need to make that ultimate decision—what’s more important right now, co-sleeping or just plain sleeping? I cannot answer that question for you, and there is no right answer. You’ll need to examine the needs of every member of your family to determine just what path you should take. Even if you decide to move your baby to a different sleeping spot, remember that, when he is sleeping solidly through the night, you can welcome him back into your bed anytime.

You may also want to use your key words to help get your baby back to sleep. (See pages 121–122.) Eventually, the key words and loving touch will take over for nursing, and then that too will fade away, and your baby will sleep longer without waking you.

Just like most of the ideas in this book, the one here is based on gradual change over time—no quick fixes or tearful transitions.

Review and Choose Sleep Solutions

137

Mother-Speak

“Chloe now starts the night in her crib and when she wakes I bring her to bed with us. Since we have been co-sleeping from the beginning I’m so used to having her there that I ‘want’ her to wake up and come into bed with us! I know it sounds strange, but I just wanted to let you know your program is transitioning me as much as it is Chloe.”

Tanya, mother of thirteen-month-old Chloe

Help Your Baby Fall Back to Sleep on His Own

and Move Him out of Your Bed and into His Own

This idea may help co-sleeping babies move to a crib.

Whether you’ve had your baby in bed with you full-time or part-time, one month or two years, a time may come when you’re ready to move Baby out of your bed and into her own. The following is a list of ideas for making this transition. After review-ing them, formulate your strategy by choosing those that best fit your family’s unique situation.

Some parents decide to wait until their child is ready to make the move on his own. This is perfectly fine; if you are in no hurry to make a change, then, by all means, enjoy this time! Let the process happen naturally. These ideas are not meant to imply that Baby
should
be in his own bed if this is not what you want; rather, they are here for those parents who have decided that they would like to move Baby to his own bed.

Keep in mind that, in most cases, you don’t have to make the change overnight. Often, taking a few weeks, or even a few months, is the most peaceful route. On the other hand, if one or both parents don’t have the desire or patience to wait, you
can
make the move quickly, and still be sensitive to your baby’s needs.

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

No matter what you decide, remember that your baby has truly enjoyed nights in your bed, and she won’t like sleeping alone at first. Try to make the transition as easy for her as you can.

Make a check by those ideas that appeal to you. Review them and think about them, and then create your own plan to move Baby out of your family bed.

Staying Close but Not Too Close

Place a mattress or pad on the floor near your bed. Put your baby to sleep on the pad, and then climb back up into your bed. If baby wakes to breastfeed or needs a cuddle, bottle, or reassurance, Mommy or Daddy can move down to baby, parent him back to sleep, and get back up in the big bed so the child gets used to sleeping alone. After a week or so of this arrangement, move this same pad or mattress to your baby’s room. (You can also do this in reverse, leaving baby in the big bed while you sleep on the pad or mattress.) Again—follow all safety precautions.

Create a Miniature Family Bed

Most co-sleeping babies will sleep fine
anywhere
with Mommy or Daddy sleeping alongside. You can use this to your advantage when moving your baby toward independent sleeping.

If your baby is old enough—more than ten months old or so—

place a mattress on the floor in Baby’s bedroom. Make sure the room is perfectly childproof and follow all the precautions in Chapter 1.

Use your usual going-to-sleep routine, but instead of sleeping in the big bed, go to sleep with your baby in his own room. For the first few nights, you might want to stay there all night long so your baby gets comfortable with the change.

After a few nights, you can get up and go to your own room after your baby is asleep. If your baby has a lovey or small stuffed