The No-cry Sleep Solution (28 page)

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Cozy Cradle

Many new babies simply get lost in a big crib. Your baby may find a smaller cradle or bassinet more to her liking. Many babies even scoot up to the corner of the cradle to wedge their head into the crevice—much like they were wedged into your pelvis. Make sure that if your cradle can rock that you lock it into a stationary position when your baby is sleeping, and that it cannot be tipped over as she does this creeping-into-the-corner routine.

Create a Nest

Because they spent nine months curled into a tight ball, some new babies are not comfortable lying flat on their backs on a firm mattress. However, back sleeping on a firm mattress is the most important protection against SIDS. An alternative that seems to keep many babies happy, and sleeping longer, is to put them to sleep in a car seat, infant seat, or stroller, keeping them in a somewhat curled position. This might help those babies who only sleep well while cradled in Mommy’s or Daddy’s arms, or snugly curled into a sling. It gives you a gentle method to teach Baby how to sleep out of your arms. Safety rules do require that you keep your baby within eyesight if using this suggestion. In addition, if your baby sleeps in a car seat or baby seat, make sure he doesn’t slump over with his head down. This can lead to breathing problems. Help your baby keep his head up by using specially made car-seat padding that provides additional support.

A potential drawback to this idea is that your baby may get used to sleeping in an upright position, which could cause problems later on when he tries to sleep lying down. So intersperse car-seat naps with sleeping on a flat surface.

Soft Sounds

A number of companies now produce heartbeat recordings that duplicate what your baby heard in the womb. These sounds can

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be comforting to a new baby. As mentioned earlier, quiet music or white noise can work well also.

Good Smells

A baby’s sense of smell is more defined than that of an adult.

Research shows that a baby can recognize his own mother by her smell. If you have a small, safe stuffed animal or baby blanket, you can tuck it in your shirt for a few hours, and then place it in the cradle while baby sleeps, following all safety precautions.

A Warm Bed

When a sleepy baby is placed on cold sheets, she can be jarred awake. While you are feeding your baby, you can warm her sleeping spot with a wrapped hot water bottle or a heating pad set on low. Remove the warmer from the crib before you lay your baby down, and always run your arm over the entire area to make sure it’s not too hot. Another alternative is to use flannel crib sheets rather than the colder cotton ones.

Make Yourself Comfortable

I’ve yet to hear a parent tell me that she or he loves getting up throughout the night to tend to a baby’s needs. As much as we adore our little bundles, it’s tough when you’re woken up over and over again, night after night. Because it’s a fact that your baby
will
be waking you up, you may as well make yourself as comfortable as possible.

Accept Night Wakings with Your Newborn

The first step is to learn to relax about night wakings right now.

Being stressed or frustrated about having to get up won’t change a thing. This is a lot like a fourth stage of labor—a very, very short period of time in your life, and later on, you probably will

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not be able to clearly recall the overwhelming fatigue. The situation will improve day by day; and before you know it, your little newborn won’t be so little anymore—she’ll be walking and talking and getting into everything in sight during the day and sleeping peacefully all night. But you’re in this newborn–no-sleep stage now, so do what you can to get through it as comfortably as possible. Here are a few ideas to make your night activities less disruptive for yourself:

• Make your nighttime-feeding place as cozy and comfortable as you can. If you feed your baby while sitting in a chair, I suggest you move your most comfortable chair into Baby’s room for now. If you use a rocking chair, make sure it has soft padding on the seat and back. Get yourself a soft foot-stool, and put a table beside you for your glass of water, a book, a night-light, and anything else that helps these nighttime episodes seem more inviting.

• If you bottle-feed, make sure everything you need is ready and waiting. (Wonderful portable bottle stations are available. Check out the Dusk to Dawn Bottle Warmer at

onestepahead.com as one option that I’ve been told is convenient.)

• Invest in a specially designed nursing pillow or experiment with how to use bed and sofa pillows to support both the baby and you during your feeding sessions.

• If you breastfeed in bed, make sure you are very comfortable. Many mothers complain of a sore back from nursing in bed. This is usually from arching your back to bring breast to baby. Instead, get yourself in a relaxed and restful position and let your baby fold
himself
around
you
. Babies are remarkably flexible and will tuck into whatever space you allow. Even a big eighteen-month-old can get himself comfortably curled into the space provided when you lie on

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your side and bring your knees up (speaking from lots of experience.)

• If you and your baby co-sleep, make sure the bed is big enough for everyone to get comfortable. If you’re squashed, invest in a bigger or second mattress.

• Arrange your schedule around your baby as much as possible during these early months. Avoid planning evening activities that interfere with your bedtime routine or keep you out too late. The world
will
wait for a few months.

• Relax and slow down. This is a very brief time in your life.

Put off doing all those less important things in favor of the most important: taking care of your new baby. It’s OK—

really.

Fill Baby’s Tummy Before Sleep

Try to make the last feeding before bedtime a complete one. If baby nods off after feeding from one breast or after taking half a bottle, shift her around, untuck the blanket, tickle those toes, and encourage her to finish the feeding; otherwise, she may wake up very soon to “finish” her feeding.

Create Restful Feeding Sessions

One piece of advice you will hear over and over is “sleep while baby sleeps during the day.” Nice idea, but as a busy mom, the last thing I can do is sleep when baby sleeps! And I’m willing to bet your days are just as full as mine. So, long, blissful naps are usually out of the question. But, during the day, you can
rest
while you feed your baby. Your baby will feed frequently during these first few months. It is your
job
to relax and feed your baby.

Don’t sit there and fret about all those things that you
should
be

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doing.
This
is what you
should
be doing during these first few months of your baby’s life.

Follow these steps each time you sit to feed your new baby:

• Relax.

• Breathe slowly.

• Push your shoulders down, and relax them. (Mothers tend to raise their shoulders during feeding, especially during the first few months. When your shoulders are up around your ears somewhere, this creates muscle tension in your arms, shoulders, and neck.)

• Circle your head to work out the stress.

• Enjoy a few minutes of peaceful baby time; take advantage of this opportunity to gaze at your precious little one. Start making memories.

• Read, if you enjoy it. (Or read to your baby.)

• Watch television or a movie, or listen to music, if any of those things relax you.

Simplify Your Life

Simplify your life as much as you can during these early months of your baby’s life. Relax your housekeeping standards. Graciously accept any help that anyone offers to you. (Repeat after me: “Yes, thank you, that would be nice.”) Your first priority right now is to take care of your new baby. Martha Stewart will understand.

Have Realistic Expectations

Your newborn baby will not sleep through the night. There are no magic answers and no shortcuts to sleep maturity. If you focus on your wish for a full night’s sleep, you’ll just push yourself to the point of weeping over what you cannot have right now. The