The No-cry Sleep Solution (27 page)

Nighttime Cues

You will want to create special cues that signal bedtime sleep. A consistent, exact bedtime routine that begins at least thirty minutes before sleep time is very helpful in getting baby to organize his day/night sleep pattern. (You can read more about bedtime routines on pages 100–103.)

Don’t Let Baby Nap Too Long

Try not to let your newborn take too long of a nap. If your little one is sleeping a lot during the day, including a three- to five-hour stretch, and then getting up frequently at night, she may have her days and nights mixed up. (Of course, there are those few babies who take long naps and then sleep well at night, but if your baby were like this you wouldn’t be reading this book now, would you?)

Not allowing too long of a nap is sometimes a hard rule to keep. When you are sleep deprived, and you have gotten behind on your own chores and responsibilities, it’s easy to “take advantage” of your baby’s long nap to catch up. While this may be helpful in the short run, it can interfere with nighttime sleep, which makes it harder for you to function during the day. It also delays the time when your baby organizes her sleep into short, daytime naps and long, nighttime sleeps.

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This is one of the times when we can break that rule of never waking a sleeping baby. If your baby has napped more than two or three hours, wake her gently, and encourage her to stay awake for a while and play.

Some babies, like my second child, Vanessa, are such sleepy newborns that an earthquake can’t wake them! We have a family portrait with a sleeping four-week-old Vanessa in her Daddy’s arms because absolutely nothing would wake her for the picture.

Here are a few tips for waking such a sleepy baby when it’s time to get up and eat:

• Try to wake your baby during a lighter stage of sleep. Watch for movement in arms, legs, and face. If your baby’s limbs are dangling limply, she’ll be especially hard to waken.

• Give Baby a diaper change or wipe his face with a damp washcloth.

• Unwrap your baby and undress her down to her diaper and T-shirt (in a warm room).

• Burp him in a sitting position.

• Give Baby a back rub.

• Take off her socks and rub Baby’s feet or wiggle her toes.

Play “this little piggy.”

• Move Baby’s arms and legs in a gentle exercise pattern.

• Prop Baby in an infant seat in the middle of the family’s activity.

• Hold your baby upright and sing to her.

You might also be able to shorten these excessive naps by putting him down for his nap in a room with daylight and some noise, and keeping nighttime sleep very dark and quiet.

Newborn babies do sleep a lot during the day. But this will change very soon. It can be a challenge to learn how to go about your usual daily routines with a baby along, but it’s important that

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you begin to see your baby as a little person who keeps you company throughout the day. Don’t feel that you must save every task for the times when your baby is sleeping. Begin now to include your awake baby in your everyday chores. After all, babies love to watch and learn, and you are your baby’s most important teacher. She will enjoy becoming a part of your daily life, and you will enjoy her company, too.

Watch for Signs of Tiredness

One way to encourage good sleep is to get familiar with your baby’s sleepy signals, and put her down to sleep as soon as she seems tired. A baby cannot put herself to sleep, nor can she understand her own sleepy signs. Yet a baby who is encouraged to stay awake when her body is craving sleep is typically unhappy.

Over time, this pattern develops into sleep deprivation, which further complicates your baby’s developing sleep maturity.

Mother-Speak

“I discovered that I had been putting Carrson to bed by the clock, not by his tiredness. Once I changed this dynamic he fell asleep easier and slept longer.”

Pia, mother of eight-month-old Carrson

Most newborns can only handle about two hours of wakefulness. Once Baby becomes overtired, he will become overstimu-lated and find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. Look for that magic moment when Baby is tired, but not overtired. These are some of the signs your baby may show you—he may demonstrate only one or two; you’ll get to know your baby over time:

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• A lull in movement and activity

• Quieting down

• Losing interest in people and toys (looking away)

• Looking “glazed”

• Fussing

• Rubbing eyes

• Yawning

Learn to read your baby’s sleepy signs and put him to bed when that window of opportunity presents itself.

Make Your Baby Comfortable

Babies are as different from each other as we adults are, and you’ll learn to understand your own baby over time. Here are a few ideas for making babies comfortable. Experiment with them, and you’ll soon discover which are best for your little one:
Swaddling

Babies arrive fresh from an environment (the womb) in which they were held tightly. Some babies are most comforted when parents create a womblike setting for sleep by wrapping them securely in a receiving blanket. Your pediatrician, a veteran parent, or a baby book can give you step-by-step instructions for swaddling your baby. If your baby enjoys swaddling, you might want to use it only at night to encourage her to sleep longer.

Also, ask your doctor whether
your
baby is safe swaddled in a blanket. Once Baby begins to move about, this
isn’t
a safe way for her to sleep, because she can loosen the blanket and become tangled. Another caution: don’t swaddle a baby if the room is warm; it can create overheating, which is one of the risk factors of SIDS.