The New Dead: A Zombie Anthology (61 page)

7:34 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Well that got Eric and Dad’s attention. The ringmistress came out on stilts and she’s practically naked. Fishnets and top hat.

 

7:38 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She’s weird. She talks like she’s stoned. Did I mention there are zombies in clown outfits chasing her around?

 

7:40 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The zombies are waaay gross. They have on big clown shoes, and polka dot outfits, and clown makeup.

 

7:43 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
But the makeup is flaking off, and beneath it they’re all rotted and black. Yow! They almost grabbed her. She’s quick.

 

7:44 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She says she’s been a prisoner of the circus for six weeks and that she survived because she learned the stilts fast.

 

7:47 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She said her boyfriend couldn’t walk on them and fell down and was eaten his first night. She said her best friend was eaten the 2nd night.

 

7:49 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She walked right up to the wall under us and begged someone to pull her over and rescue her, but the guy in the front row just laughed.

 

7:50 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Then she had to run away in a hurry before Zippo the Zombie knocked her off her stilts. It’s all very well choreographed.

 

7:50 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
You can totally believe they’re trying to get her.

 

7:51 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They rolled a cannon out. She said here at the Circus of the Dead we always begin things with a bang. She read it off a card.

 

7:54 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She walked up to a tall door and banged on it and for a minute I didn’t think they were going to let her out of the ring, but then they did.

 

7:55 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Two men in hazmat suits just led a zombie out. He’s got a metal collar around his neck with a black stick attached.

 

7:56 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They’re using the stick to hold him at a distance so he can’t grab them.

 

7:57 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Eric says he has fantasies about a certain goth girl putting him in a rig like that.

 

7:58 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
This show would be a great date for the two of them. It’s got a hint of sex, a whiff of bondage, and it’s really really morbid.

 

7:59 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They put the zombie in the cannon.

 

8:00 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Auuuughhh! They pointed the cannon at the crowd and fired it and fucking pieces of zombie went everywhere.

 

8:03 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The guy in the row in front of us got smashed in the mouth with a flying shoe. He’s bleeding and everything.

 

8:05 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Fucking yuck! There’s still a foot inside the shoe! It’s totally realistic looking.

 

8:08 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The guy sitting in front of us just walked off w/his wife to complain. Same dude who laffed at the ringmistress when she asked for help.

 

8:11 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Dad had a zombie lip in his hair. I am so glad I didn’t eat lunch. Looks like a gummy worm and it smells like ass.

 

8:13 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Naturally Eric wants to keep it.

 

8:13 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Here comes the ringmistress again. She says the next act is the cat’s meo.

 

8:14 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
OMG OMG that was not funny. She almost fell down and the way they were snarling.

 

8:16 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The men in hazmat suits just wheeled in a lion in a cage. Yay, a lion! I am still girl enough to like a big cat.

 

8:17 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Oh that’s a really sad sick looking lion. Not fun. They’re opening the cage and sending in zombies and he’s hissing like a housecat.

 

8:19 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Roawwwwr! Lion power. He’s swatting them down and shredding them apart. He’s got an arm in his mouth. Everyone cheering.

 

8:21 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Eeeuuuw. Not so much cheering now. He’s got one and he’s tugging out its guts like he’s pulling on one end of a tug rope.

 

8:22 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They’re sending in more zombies. No one laughing or cheering now. It’s really crowded in there.

 

8:24 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
I can’t even see the lion anymore. Lots of angry snarling and flying fur and walking corpses getting knocked around.

 

8:24 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
OH GROSS. The lion made a sound, like this scared whine, and now the zombies are passing around organ meat and hunks of fur.

 

8:25 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They’re eating. That’s awful. I feel sick.

 

8:26 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Dad saw I was getting upset and told me how they did it. The cage has a false bottom. They pulled the lion out through the floor.

 

8:30 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
You really get swept up in this thing.

 

8:30 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The Mickey Rooney guy who led us back to the seats just showed up with a flashlight. He says we left the headlights on in the van.

 

8:31 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Eric went to turn them off. He has to pee anyway.

 

8:32 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The fireswallower just came out. He has no eyes and there’s some kind of steel contraption forcing his head back and his mouth open.

 

8:34 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
One of the men in the hazmat suits is FUCK ME.

 

8:35 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They shoved a torch down his throat and now he’s burning! He’s running around with smoke coming out of his mouth and

 

8:36 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
fire in his head coming out his eyes like a jack o lante

 

8:36 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They just let him burn to death from the inside out. Realest thing I’ve ever seen.

 

8:39 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
What’s even realer is the corpse after the hazmat guys sprayed it down with the fire extinguishers. It looks so sad and shriveled and black.

 

8:39 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
The ringmistress is back. She’s really weaving around. I think something is wrong with her ankle.

8:40 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
She says someone from the audience has agreed to be tonight’s sacrifice. She says he will be the lucky one.

 

8:41 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
He? I thought the sacrifice was usually a girl in this sort of situation.

 

8:41 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Oh no he did not. They just wheeled Eric out, cuffed to a big wooden wheel. He winked on the way past. Psycho. Go Eric!

 

8:42 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
They hauled out a zombie and chained him to a stake in the dirt. There’s a box of hatchets in front of him. Don’t like where this is going.

 

8:43 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Everyone’s laughing now. The lion scene was a little grim, but we’re back to funny again. The zombie threw the first hatchet into the crowd.

 

8:45 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
There was a thunk, and someone screamed like they got it in the head. Obvious plant.

 

8:45 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Eric is spinning around and around on the wheel. He’s telling the zombie to kill him before he throws up.

8:46 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Eeeks! I’m not as brave as Eric. A knife just banged into the wheel next to his head. Like: INCHES. Eric screamed too. Bet he wishes now

 

8:47 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
OMGOMGO

 

8:47 PM March 2nd from Tweetie

 

 

 

TYME2WASTE
Okay. He must be okay. He was still smiling when they wheeled him out of the ring. The hatchet went right in the side of his neck.