The Nanny's New Family (Caring Canines) (14 page)

“I should know how I feel.”

“Your words don’t match your tone.”

Annie folded her arms over her chest and stared out her window.

Fifteen minutes later, Ian exited I-35 onto I-40, not far from Cimarron City. The closer they got to home, the more the tension thickened in the car.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Ian had to try one more time.

Annie didn’t respond.

No one could replace Annie. Disappointment, anger and a deep hurt mingled inside him. “I haven’t told the kids. I don’t want to until the plans are firm.”

“I won’t tell them. But I have a lead on a good applicant.”

Oh, joy.
Ian had been hoping Annie couldn’t find anyone. Maybe this applicant wouldn’t be acceptable. “Annie, I have feelings for you that have nothing to do with gratitude.”

“How do you know that?”

“And how do you know they are? To quote you, I should know how I feel.”

“Touché.” Annie sat forward. “I see the exit to Cimarron City. We should be at your house shortly. I’ll talk with Mary Franklin today and set up a time for you to interview her.”

“I won’t interview her at the house. If she doesn’t work out—” and he was sure she wouldn’t “—I don’t want the children upset unnecessarily.”

“How about I take the kids to Sooner Park? They love going there. According to Jasmine the playground is ‘to die for.’”

“Your leaving won’t change what I feel for you. I know you feel something for me. We work well together as a team.”

“Yes, employee and employer.”

“You’re scared to really feel. Be honest with yourself and me. Annie, do you care about me beyond being your employer?”

Again she stared out the window. Ian didn’t know if she would answer him.

“Yes,” she finally said. “But I have my life figured out. I know what I’m supposed to do.”

“What?”

“As I told you before, help children in need. My mother was the best there was. I’m continuing her work.”

“How?”

“My parents used to take in foster children, and Mom especially would be the kids’ support until a home was found for them. Being single, I can’t easily take in foster children, so I chose to work with families whose children needed something extra.”

“Like mine,” Ian murmured.

“Yes.”

“They still need you.”

“But you’re doing great with them, and with the right nanny you all will be fine.”

“Can you guarantee that?” Sarcasm edged his voice, frustration churning his gut. After Ian pulled into his driveway and parked in the garage, he turned toward her. “What if everything you’ve started falls apart? You aren’t your mother. You are Annie Knight. God has His own plan for you.”

“Don’t you get it? I’m the reason my mother isn’t alive. I’m filling her void. Then maybe...” She pressed her lips together and unbuckled her seat belt.

“You can’t forgive yourself for your mother’s death. But her path isn’t yours. The Lord has a unique plan for each person.”

Annie shoved open the door and scrambled out of the Lexus, then leaned down, glaring. “Who are you to tell me what’s best for me?”

“A guy who wants a great life for you, who loves you.” Ian finally said aloud what he’d known in his heart for days. He wasn’t just falling in love. He’d loved Annie Knight for a long time now. She’d been a breath of fresh air in a very stale life.

Her eyes grew big. She straightened, closed the passenger door and hurried toward the breezeway into the house.

Ian slammed his palm against the steering wheel. His love hadn’t made any difference.

Chapter Fourteen

A
nnie couldn’t get away from Ian fast enough. He was delusional to think he was in love with her. And yet, when he had said it, her heart had soared—until she’d forced reality into the situation.

Annie found her father coming into the McGregors’ kitchen as she entered the house.

“The doctor couldn’t help you?” he asked, covering the distance between them.

“No, actually, he could.”

“Why the sad face, then?” Her dad glanced over her left shoulder.

Although Annie hadn’t heard Ian enter, she knew he was behind her. “Lots of decisions to make. Are the children in bed yet?”

“I just said good-night to Joshua. The girls are playing a game, and Jeremy and Rex are watching TV. I think Rex is more into the show than Jeremy.”

Annie walked to her father and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for helping today. I’m going to say good-night to Joshua and check in with the others before I go to my apartment.”

Annie didn’t even know how she strung words together to form coherent sentences, but she did. The closer Ian came to her in the kitchen, the faster her heart beat. She had to get out of there before she actually believed he could love her.

Ian had so much to offer the right woman. But Annie wasn’t that person.

Upstairs she eased open Joshua’s door to see if he was asleep. There was a hump in the middle of his bed with a light shining through the sheet. She tiptoed to his bed and began tickling him. “Boo! A certain little boy hasn’t gone to sleep like he was supposed to.”

Giggles floated from behind the blue sheet, then Joshua popped up and Daisy shot off the bed and raced out of the room.

“What were you doing?” Annie said in a stern voice while trying not to laugh.

“Trying to sneak Daisy in here.” Joshua grinned. “We were hiding, but she doesn’t like the dark. I got the flashlight.”

“I think the only one around here who doesn’t like the dark is you.” Annie sat on the edge of his bed. “And you know it’s Jade’s turn for Daisy to sleep with her.”

“Shh. She doesn’t know I sneaked into her room and got Daisy.”

At that moment Jade stomped into Joshua’s room, carrying Daisy. “I did, too. What goes around comes around.” Then she spun about on her heel and left with the dog.

He scrunched up his nose. “What’s that mean?”

“One day she’s going to take Daisy from you when it’s your night to have the dog.”

“That’s not fair.” Joshua plopped back onto his bed.

Annie inched forward and drew the sheet up to the child’s shoulder. “Time to go to sleep, and I’ll turn on the night-light.”

“Your dad forgot to.”

“Did you tell him you like it on?”

“I never do with you. You always just do it.”

She shook her head and leaned over to kiss Joshua’s forehead. “Good night.”

Annie started to stand. Joshua clasped her hand, keeping her sitting on the bed. “Will you read me a story before you go?”

“Sure.” Annie usually did. She picked up his favorite book and switched on the light on the nightstand.

Within five minutes Joshua’s eyes were closed. Annie rose, turned the night-light on and the lamp off then headed for the hallway.

“Annie, I love you,” Joshua said in a sleepy voice.

Her heart cracked, a pang stabbing her. Emotions swelled inside. Tears threatened.

Annie hurried to give the girls a brief update on the trip and tell them good-night. She needed to escape to her apartment.

After she poked her head into the den to see how Jeremy was doing, she was going to sneak out the sliding glass doors since she heard her father and Ian talking in the kitchen.

“Jeremy, how did it go today?” Annie asked from the doorway.

“Your dad took us fishing. Everyone liked that except Jasmine.”

“Did she behave?”

“For a girl.”

“No other problems?”

He shook his head, his hand stroking Rex’s back.

“See you tomorrow.”

As Annie made her way to the breezeway and heard her dad starting his car, she thought of the last time Jeremy had had a seizure—almost two weeks ago. His medication was working much better. That was a relief and would make it easier for her to leave and a new nanny to take over.

As she neared the staircase to her place, she saw a shadow sitting on a step. Charlie? But then the figure rose, and the security light illuminated Ian’s face.

“Just checking to make sure you’re all right. You fled the kitchen so fast your dad was concerned, and I told him I would look in on you.”

“I’m tired of talking and thinking about my scars. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
Yeah, right. What makes you think that?

“Here is Neil’s number. When you decide, call him. This is totally up to you. There’s no deadline on the offer.” Ian came to her and pressed a small sheet of paper into her palm. “Good night.”

He turned and strode toward his house.

“Ian.”

He stopped but didn’t look back.

“Thank you. I appreciate your caring enough to try to fix me.”

“I’m not trying to fix you, as you say, but to help you. That’s what a person who cares does.” He continued forward.

Why had she said it that way? Because that was her conscience talking. Her scars had become a scarlet letter she wore proclaiming her guilt.

* * *

Annie had spent Sunday at church then at her sister’s until nightfall. That was the first day in months she hadn’t seen Ian or his children at least once. And she was miserable.

Was that why she was rushing to dress this morning, to be at the house when the children woke up? To see Ian before he left for work?

When Annie walked into the kitchen to decide what to fix for breakfast, Ian had a cup of coffee in his hand and was staring out the bay window overlooking the patio and pool. He acknowledged her presence by glancing over his shoulder, then returned to sipping his drink. Since the drive to Dallas a few days before, a barrier stood between her and Ian. Annie had started it, but after that day, he’d added to it. Even the kids noticed. Joshua had said something to her on Saturday about his daddy being mad at her.

After checking the refrigerator for the ingredients for pancakes, she turned toward Ian. “What time will you be home this evening?”

“Early. The agency is sending out a couple of applicants for your job this afternoon. I’d like you to have the children gone from three to five.”

“I’m sorry Mary Franklin didn’t work out for you.”

“She’s too young. Barely out of high school. Although I see why you think she’d be good, she doesn’t have enough experience.”

“Yesterday at church I ran into Mrs. Addison. All the kids in the family she used to work for are in high school. She’s been taking a month’s break, but now she’s ready to move on to a new family. I mentioned you and your children. She’s interested.”

“Fine. Have her come this afternoon at five with her résumé.”

“I’ll let her know, and I’ll keep the kids away from the house until six.”

“Sure.” He started for the hallway. “Whatever you think. I’m going to work now.”

“But I haven’t fixed breakfast yet.”

“I’ll grab something on the way.”

Ian disappeared down the hall. For a moment Annie felt as if a part of herself had walked out of the room. She shook that idea from her mind and concentrated on getting the pancakes ready, then she went to see if the children were up yet.

* * *

Later that afternoon when Annie settled on a bench near the playground area at Sooner Park, she felt tired—even after the day of rest on Sunday. Mrs. Addison was arriving at the house at five, so Annie had packed an early dinner for the kids.

She’d have the children eat in a couple of hours. Maybe then she could take her mind off the interviews taking place, especially Mrs. Addison’s. She would be perfect for the family, similar to what their aunt had been like. And to satisfy Ian, she wasn’t nineteen but in her late forties with a ton of experience, having been a nanny for twenty-five years. He would probably hire her on the spot.

Why am I so depressed by the prospect? I’ll be able to leave soon and put my life back on track
.

Annie checked her watch over and over, and the hours seemed to crawl by. Keeping an eye on four children required a lot of her concentration, but obviously not enough. All she could think about was leaving in a couple of days.

Jasmine waved to her from the top of the slide while Jade ran toward Annie and plopped on the bench beside her. Jade waved her hand in front of her face. “Hello? Water, please.”

Annie dug into the cooler she’d brought and passed a bottle to the young girl. “Having fun?”

“Yes, there are even a couple of friends from school here.”

Annie scanned the children, hoping Kayla wasn’t one of them. She didn’t want Jasmine’s afternoon ruined.

“Is Dad joining us for our picnic?”

“No, he has business to take care of. I made him something and left it in the refrigerator.”

“He’s been upset lately.” Jade slanted a look toward her.

Annie tensed. “He must have a lot on his mind.”

“Are you going to have the surgery? All of us were wondering. I figured it didn’t work out and that made him sad.”

Annie had wondered when one of them would ask. “I haven’t decided.”

“Then, you can have the surgery. Great!” Jade clapped her hands. “But then, why is Dad upset? He was so excited when he went to Dallas with you.”

Out of all of Ian’s children, Jade was the one who was the hardest to keep anything from. “I can’t answer that. You’ll have to talk to your dad.”

She twisted toward Annie. “Is he mad at you?”

Ian had requested she not say anything about leaving to his kids, and she hadn’t. She wouldn’t break her word, but looking into Jade’s inquisitive expression, she didn’t know what to tell the child. She panned the playground again, locating Joshua and Jasmine right away. When Annie couldn’t see Jeremy, she stood up. “Just a sec, Jade. Where is Jeremy?”

“He’s on the monkey bars.”

Annie took a few steps to the right and spied the boy swinging from one end to the other with Rex near him. She sat back on the bench where she had a good view of him.

Jade scooted down to Annie. “You care about us.”

Although it wasn’t a question, Annie answered, “Yes, of course. You’re all special to me.”
Then, why am I leaving?

“Is Dad?”

More than she wanted to admit to Jade—even herself. “Yes.”

Jade beamed. “Good.” She threw her arms around Annie, kissed her on the cheek then hopped up and raced back to play.

Stunned, Annie touched her cheek. Jade reminded her of herself before the fire: sports oriented and full of life. But the fire had changed her in more ways than physical.

Rex trotted toward her and sat in front of Annie, whining. She glanced at Jeremy still hanging from the monkey bars. “Is something wrong?”

Rex barked.

Annie jumped to her feet. Rex had done this before, and Jeremy had had a seizure not long after. She hurried to the boy. The dog ran to Jeremy and barked insistently. The boy peered at Rex, then Annie and let go of the bar, dropping to the ground.

“Sit on the grass for a few minutes and play with Rex,” Annie instructed.

“But I wanted to do the big slide next. Why is he barking?”

“I’m not sure, but I think he senses something. If that’s the case, being on the grass would be safer for you.”

“But—”

“Please, Jeremy.”

With his forehead wrinkled, he trod out of the pool of small, round pebbles under the playground equipment and sank to the lush grass. “How long do I have to stay here?”

“I’m not sure. Awhile.” Annie took a seat next to him and checked the ground to make sure there were no objects in the vicinity that could hurt Jeremy.

Jeremy lay back on the grass and began playing with Rex. Within a few minutes, he stiffened and began shaking. She turned him on his side and swiveled her attention between him and his siblings. Rex placed himself right next to Jeremy and licked his face. Sixty seconds later the boy became aware of his surroundings and put his arm around the dog.

“You okay?” Annie relaxed.

He nodded, still dazed a bit. “How did he know?” Jeremy asked when he sat up and petted Rex.

“The more he is around you, the better he’s getting at sensing stuff. There’s a connection between you two.”

“Good boy. I love you, Rex.” Jeremy buried his face against the dog’s neck.

A lump in her throat made it difficult for Annie to say anything. Seeing the boy and dog together lifted her spirits. She’d set out to help Jeremy especially, and now he had some help. He wasn’t alone.

But I am
.

* * *

After interviewing two disappointing candidates for the nanny position, Ian sat across from Mrs. Addison. On paper she looked good, but...

She isn’t Annie
.

Ian had tried to help Annie, and instead she was running away as though she had to pay for her innocent mistake the rest of her life. It broke his heart, but he knew he couldn’t force her to accept the truth. Now he needed a nanny to replace Annie, but so far no one had come close to her.

“Do you have any questions about the job, Mrs. Addison?”

“Annie had nothing but good things to say about you as an employer. I’m not sure why she’s leaving, but this job sounds like a nice match for me. I had a nephew with epilepsy and know how to deal with a seizure. I didn’t realize dogs could help with them. I’ll have to tell my sister about that. Do you have any more questions for me?”

“No, you’ve given me all the information I need. And your references are impressive.” Tired of the process, Ian pushed to his feet. “I’ll let you know after I finish my interviewing.”

Mrs. Addison clutched her purse and rose. “I’d hoped I could meet your children, but it’s awfully quiet in the house.”

“They went on a picnic with Annie.” Ian glanced at his watch and noted they’d be home soon. He wanted to make sure the candidate was gone before then. He started toward the foyer.

Mrs. Addison followed. “I look forward to hearing from you, Mr. McGregor.”

After he shut the door on his last applicant of the day, Ian wanted to bang his head against the wood. He didn’t want to do this again. He never thought he would fall in love after Zoe’s death. She’d been his life for years, and they’d been happy. Then her being wrenched from his arms had left him shocked for months, really years, until Annie had popped into his life and shaken it up. Shaken his whole family up.