The Mogul (Necessary Lies Book 2) (9 page)

W
hat is
there to say to the woman who saved your life and the life of the man you love?

“Thank you,” I said to Emma as we slid into the backseat of an SUV she was driving. “If you hadn’t been there…”

“You would have shot the bastard,” she said, glancing at me in the rearview mirror. “I saw the look of rage in your eyes. You would have done it, Camilla.”

I looked over at Nolan and his bloodied face. It killed me to see the damage that had been done to him, but I had never been so relieved to know someone was still alive. It had been absolutely terrifying being in that room with the monster that was Nicholas.

Emma was right. I would have shot him. But I was glad I didn’t have to. Nolan had deserved the kill shot on that one.

I hoped Nicholas was rotting in hell.

I thought about what the monster had said about Adrianna. What he had done to her. The look in Nolan’s eyes when he’d heard the horrifying truth.

I touched his leg tenderly.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “About Adrianna. It makes me sick…”

Nolan raised his hand to stop me. “I can’t. Not now. I’ll think about it another time. It’s too much.”

I nodded, understanding.

We rode in silence as Emma drove us toward what I assumed was Reykjavik. The blonde wig I was wearing was itching my head. I held Nolan’s hand as I spoke.

“So where are we going?” I asked. “Not Johannesburg?”

Nolan shook his head. He was so solemn now, I assumed over the news about Adrianna. “No, Camilla. You’re going somewhere you’ve been before with your father. Where you first saw me years ago.”

Salzburg.

“What’s he doing there?” I asked.

“You know your father well enough to know,” Nolan said, squeezing my hand. “Salzburg is his favorite city. And that trip with you was one of the great memories of his life. So he returned there under a new name and started a new life. And I know he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Us,” I corrected him. “He’ll be happy to see us, you mean. Right?”

Nolan didn’t say anything. He just stared out the window as the Icelandic outback sped by our window.

“Nolan!” I cried out. “You’re leaving me again?”

He was squeezing my hand harder now. “You have to see Richard. And I can’t be with you. It’s too dangerous. Now that Nicholas is dead, they’re going to come after us with everything they have. I have to go into hiding.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Then I’ll go with you! I’ll be where you are. It’s not a hard choice for me. I don’t need to see my father. All I need is to be with you.” I was almost begging now. “Nolan, I lived without you for months and it almost killed me. I can’t go through that again. At least tell me where you’ll be!”

I was sobbing now. Everything that had happened in the last 48 hours was catching up to me. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I could feel Emma’s eyes on me.

“Camilla, Nolan is right,” she said. “There’s too much heat on us right now. I’ll go with you to Salzburg so you can meet with Richard. Nolan will contact you when he can.”

I looked back at him. “This can’t be happening. Nolan… Please. I love you. I can’t even breathe without you. You promised me you would love me forever. And longer.”

“And I will,” his eyes were on me now. “You’re the last face I see every night, Camilla. It’s been that way for years. Which is why I can’t go with you. As much as I hate to leave you again, I love you too much to put you in danger.”

I was sobbing now against his shoulder. I understood it and I also didn’t. The thought of him being somewhere alone and on the run scared the shit out of me. If people like Nicholas worked for the firm I couldn’t even imagine what we were up against.

I wept for the rest of the ride, the hair from my wig sticking to my cheeks. I felt completely ridiculous. I wanted to rip the wig off and just take our chances being ourselves, together.

But I knew it was nonsensical; I had to see things as they were and not how I wanted them to be.

Something I should have been used to by now.

S
aying
goodbye to him was hell.

Emma had somehow arranged travel for us on a small private jet under an alias. She assured me no one knew about this particular departure. As far as the IACO (the international aviation administration) knew, we were just a couple of Canadians on our way to Austria.

I sat in the SUV on the tarmac with Nolan for a long time just letting him hold me. I was inconsolable. I just wanted to wake up and be back in our hotel near the blue lagoon with the monster, and all that had happened since, being a distant nightmare that I would forget as soon as I opened my eyes.

Instead I was being forced to say goodbye. Maybe forever. I couldn’t know for sure.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered into my ear as he stroked my hair. “You’re about to see your father. That should make you happy.”

“Nothing will ever make me happy the way you do,” I said. “I resent him for putting us in this position.”

“He didn’t,” Nolan replied. “Your dad is one of the few good men left in all of this. Don’t ever forget that. He would die for you. And so would I.”

“I don’t want anyone to die for me!” I cried out. “I want to live for once! Really live! How will I ever see you again?”

He took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes.

“I have given you all the information you need,” he said. “If it’s safe, and your father will know when, you’ll find me at the one place we’ve both never been. Remember everything I have told you. Keep it in your heart, Camilla. That’s where I keep you. Forever.”

He kissed me then, a long passionate kiss.

The kind of kiss that’s the last one you’ll ever give someone.

He let go of me then because he knew I’d never have the strength to do it myself.

“Camilla,” I heard Emma say. “We have to go.”

I hung my head. I wanted to be dragged out kicking and screaming. Because in my heart, that’s what was happening.

But I also wanted to be the woman my mentor could be proud of. With that in mind, I slid out of the car and didn’t look back as I walked up the air stairs into the cabin of the plane and off to a destiny I wasn’t sure I wanted any part of.

I
almost asked
Emma if she could sedate me for this flight as well. I thought about half-jokingly bringing it up, but I was too emotionally exhausted to even speak to her. Or anyone.

Landing in Salzburg for the second time in my life was surreal. I couldn’t help but think about the first time I’d been on a plane to Europe, my father by my side. Where had Nolan been then? Was Adrianna still alive? Had he been happy?

I missed him so much that it hurt.

And as excited as I should have been to see my father, it was hard to muster up any sort of enthusiasm in light of what had happened around me.

I was exhausted in every way a person could be exhausted.

But it was time. To confront my father about the past and start planning for some kind of future. Even if that future might not be with Nolan Weston.

* * *

E
mma
and I drove away from the city proper. She was clearly an expert in the area and knew it well. We didn’t speak much. I appreciated that she wasn’t a chatty woman. It was the last thing I needed at the moment.

We finally reached a lovely cottage in the country. It was a house that was made to look quaint on the outside, but that I suspected was very modernized on the inside. That tended to be what my father liked most about his homes. The veneer made you think one thing, while the inside was completely different.

Like his life. And my own.

As I slowly slid out of the passenger side seat I heard him.

“Camilla.”

I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around and there he was.

My father.

I had thought of this moment so many times. Even when I thought he was dead, I had imagined what I would have said if I’d just had five minutes.

And once I knew he was alive, I would rehearse all the things I would say. I imagined them all coming out at once, everything rushing to get out before he was gone again. Just like when I was a kid. On our rare visits, I would talk so much and so fast that he would laugh and have to tell me to slow down and catch my breath.

But I was always afraid of not telling him everything he needed to know. Because I never knew when I would see him again.

But curiously, I was speechless now.

He looked the same, although he’d clearly dyed his hair. He’d always allowed it to gray but now it was dark brown. It made him look younger, like the father from my childhood. His face was different though. There were lines around his eyes and mouth and very distinct lines in his forehead. It was clear the last year had aged him. He looked ten years older than the last time I had seen him. His face didn’t match his young hair.

“I’ve been hoping,” he said. “And wishing that you’d somehow find me.”

I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes. “The only reason I did was because of Nolan. You weren’t going to tell me anything. You wanted me to think you were dead.”

My father ran his hands through his hair. He was nervous.

“I didn’t want any of this,” he waved his hand around. “For you. I feel like because of me, your life isn’t your own. And you didn’t ask for that, Camilla. And this was my weird way of giving you your life back. Because if I’m dead, they don’t need you anymore. There is no purpose in hurting you. You can’t be used as leverage.”

I laughed, caustically. “But you left me the firm, Dad. So you just made your past become my future. How the hell does that make sense?”

“Nolan was supposed to take care of that,” Dad said. “I wanted him to arrange it so you could be bought out. You could live the rest of your life with the kind of freedom most people only dream of. Somehow it didn’t work out. I had no idea what was happening at my own firm.”

I nodded. “It’s a mess. Nolan and I are basically on the run. So many people want us dead.”

Dad’s expression was scared for a moment. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I replied. “But I will be. We’re going to be okay.”

“We,” my father said. “You and Nolan?”

I knew what he was asking. And suddenly I was his daughter again.

“Yes,” I said. “I love him.”

My father sighed. “He’s not good for you, Camilla. You’ll never be safe if you’re with him. Nolan is a dead man walking and he knows it.”

“Yep,” I said. “It’s why he’s not here. He left me. Said it was for my best interests. Like someone else I know, he chose the firm over me.” I was trying my best not to shake. “But I’m used to it. If your own father doesn’t want you, who else would?”

I wanted the words to hurt him, but as soon as I said them, they felt wrong on my tongue.

“Camilla,” my father said. “How could you ever think that?”

“How could I
not
think that?” I raised my voice. “I saw you maybe twice a year most of my life. I was shipped off to boarding school before I even hit puberty. I was a loose end in your life. Do you know how that feels? To know you’re an inconvenience to your own father? To know his affection is out of obligation… That I was an obstacle in your life? It makes you feel worthless.”

I had never said any of these things out loud to anyone.

With those words came such a sense of release. And relief.

My father, however, looked like he might cry.

“I can completely understand why you would feel that way,” he said. “Actions are what matter. And I did not act like the father you deserved.” He paused for a moment as if he was gathering his thoughts. “But I won’t allow you to believe for even one second that you were an inconvenience. My
job
was the inconvenience, Camilla. You were the light in what was a very dark life. And I wanted nothing more than to quit the firm and stay with you forever. I missed out on so much. Every time I got to see you was like Christmas times a thousand. You are the greatest accomplishment of my life. Above anything else.”

I was crying now. I wanted to believe him so much.

“So why didn’t you just quit?” I asked. “If I was that important and you were that miserable?”

He sighed. “As you have learned over the past few days… It’s not that easy with the firm. You don’t get to quit until it quits you. And that’s usually because you’re dead.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t always like that. We used to do good work for people I thought could make a positive difference in this world. But over the last decade things changed. The money that clients were willing to pay took over things and now it’s just a firm that represents people who aren’t interested in changing the world. They’re just interested in making a lot of money.”

“So you’re saying you were trapped,” I said. “It was either continue running it…”

“Or die. But that wasn’t even the thing I was most afraid of,” he said walking toward me. “I was most afraid of them hurting you. Like they hurt your mother.”

I was confused now.

“Mom died of cancer,” I said.

“No,” he said. “She did have a brain tumor, yes. But it was benign and had she lived it would have been removed and she would have been fine.”

I suddenly felt dizzy.

Your entire life has been a huge lie.

“She was murdered,” he spat out the words. “I’d told them, the firm, I wanted to leave. That I was willing to sell my majority stake, that I had no desire to run it anymore. I was under the illusion that I was in charge of my destiny. When they killed your mother they showed me how far they were willing to go.”

I was shaking. It was too much.

“How can this be true?” I uttered. “How could I have been so blind to my own life?”

“It was to protect you, Camilla,” he said reaching out for me. I pulled away.

“The only one,” I said. “Who has ever protected me, has been Nolan. And now, I can’t even be with him. Because it all comes back to the fucking firm.”

Now it was my father’s turn to be shocked.

“Of course you can’t be with him,” he said. “First off, he’s way too old for you. And he’s connected to the firm, which means he’s connected to the same danger I was and still am. You being with him would put you in possibly more danger than being my daughter does.”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s gone.”

My father gave me a doubtful look. “Right. And where did he go?”

“I have no idea,” I said. “We were in a dire predicament. The Krav Maga girl… I mean Emma… brought me to you and he left. He said he had to distract the firm so they wouldn’t know where we are. They think you’re in Johannesburg.”

My father glanced over at Emma, who I just realized was still standing with us. I’d assumed she would leave or at least make herself scarce.

“He knows,” Emma said. “I have kept him up to date with everything.”

“What is she anyway?” I asked, waving at her. “I owe her my life, but I feel like there’s something I’m missing here.”

The two exchanged glances.

“I suppose it’s time you should know,” he said. “I wanted it to be a more gradual revelation. At least have lunch first before getting into the reason I’m here in Salzburg and the reason I had to make the firm think I was dead.”

“Well, I think we’re past the point of small talk, Dad,” I said. “I’m not in the mood to sit and have tea and reminisce over old memories. I’m exhausted. I just need to know everything and then I need to somehow find Nolan. Because you might not think he’s good for me, but I know he’s the best thing for me. I love him. And more importantly he’s shown me he loves me. He’s risked so much…” I was crying now. “If you really, truly love me you will help me find him and you will help me finally find happiness. And that can only happen with Nolan, Dad. Like it or not.”

My father walked over to me and grabbed me, embracing me with both arms as I cried into his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I just want you to be okay. But I should have been just as worried about you being happy. Maybe my way isn’t the way to make all of this work.”

I nodded against his shoulder. “I just want to live a normal life that belongs just to me. I want a life that’s filled with truth and people who tell it.”

He pulled me away for a second to look me in the eyes.

“Well, my child,” he said. “That’s what you’ll get. If it’s the last thing I do. I’ll help you find Nolan.”

I was shocked to hear him say it. Suddenly Emma spoke up.

“He better,” she said. “Or he’d be the biggest hypocrite on the planet.”

We both looked at her, shocked to hear her speak.

“Emma,” he smiled. “I guess you’d be right on that.”

“What is she talking about?” I asked. “Why would you be a hypocrite?”

“Because,” Dad said. “This is Emma. And she’s my wife.”