The Mogul (Necessary Lies Book 2) (6 page)

I
slept almost all
of the first day away.

I’d woken up later that afternoon and thrown back the curtains. Sure enough, in the distance, I could see what I could only surmise was the blue lagoon. And blue it was, a chalky indigo that stood tranquil. I envied its peace. Beyond it, a jagged field of dark rocks. I could definitely relate to that.

I’d ordered room service but barely been able to touch any of the food. It was a hot dog or
pylsur
, something I was told Iceland was a little famous for, and it was good. But it was hard to enjoy anything in the mood I was in.

Life had lost its color. Again.

I kept thinking about Adrianna. She was stunning, much more aesthetically suited to Nolan than someone who looked like me. Was he with her now? Was she a loose end he had to tie up? Or was I the loose end? Did she know about me?

Doubtful.

Why? And how? It scared me how easily he could lie and it disappointed me how easily I could fall for it. Over and over.

No more.

* * *

T
he rest
of the next day was spent in bed. I watched Icelandic television and sometimes stared out at the lagoon. During the day, the water filled with people, couples and families, people enjoying themselves. They’d leave Iceland with lifelong memories of the lagoon and the landscape. I was destined to leave hoping I’d picked up all the pieces of my shattered heart and stuffed them in my bag, not having left any slivers in the carpet or under the bed. Not that it seemed likely to ever put back together again.

The stewardess/guard had been replaced by another suit, a gruff looking wall of a man. I stuck my head out at one point and he said nothing, just watched me.

I wondered if Nolan was really coming. And my father… was he here? Or somewhere else? I felt guilty, I’d barely thought of my father since I’d gotten here. I wasn’t as enthusiastic about seeing him as I’d been before. I wasn’t keen to see anyone, if I was honest with myself. I’d quickly fallen into such a dark depression over Nolan. It angered me that I’d allowed myself to be this woman.

But I ached for him so much. And now I knew it had never been real.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to show up or not. I was prepared to live and die in that hotel room by the lagoon. I just didn’t care about anything anymore.

* * *

O
n my third
morning I heard a familiar voice in the hallway.

Nolan was here.

I looked awful. I’d lived in the same pair of yoga pants and white t-shirt for the most part, having only showered once to get the smell of lamb off me. (Iceland was famous for its lamb of all things. And for good reason- it was delicious.)

My body was tense at the sound of him. Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t know what to expect when he walked through the door. But at least I’d have the chance to confront him, to let him know I wasn’t the most gullible fucking idiot on the planet, even if I felt like it.

I could hear the sound of the key card sliding into the door.

“Camilla,” he beckoned. “It’s me.”

And of course he looked gorgeous. He was in a slate colored, Tom Ford suit, tailored perfectly to his body. He unbuttoned the jacket as he walked in, a smooth and sexy movement that made me want to jump into his arms.

I knew that’s what he expected me to do when he saw me standing across the room near the window. As soon as he saw the expression on my face, he grew alarmed.

“Camilla,” he said. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

He rushed over to me now but I extended an arm out.

“Don’t come near me,” I replied. “And
don’t
call me baby.”

Confusion marked his face.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” he said. “I haven’t talked to you in almost three days. Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“Oh, I think you definitely know about it,” I spat my words at him. “Unless you forgot that you’re married.”

He stopped in his tracks. His face completely changed. I’d expected to see coldness or to at least hear another lie spill out of his delicious mouth.

I continued, “Oh yeah. Adrianna Weston. Your beautiful, supermodel fucking
wife
!”

It was like I was stabbing him. He winced at my words.

“Camilla,” he said. “Stop.”

“Are you kidding me?” I yelled. “Stop making you feel like a complete asshole for fucking me while you’re married? What did you have to gain from that? You told me you wouldn’t lie to me anymore!”

I was screaming which had caused the suit to come in.

Nolan held up his hand. “We’re fine. Just having a misunderstanding.”

The suit was undeterred and advanced into the room, stopping just a few feet behind Nolan, making eye contact with me. I nodded that I was okay, but stopped short of asking him to leave.

I returned my attention to Nolan and shook my head. “Fuck you, Nolan. You’re not talking your way out of this one. This was too much.” I was crying now. “You killed me once. But this has destroyed me. Why did you even come back for me, really? What’s in this for you?” I started to ask if my father was really still alive, but I caught myself. On the off-chance Nolan had told the truth about that, at least, I didn’t want to risk anything by talking about it in front of the Titan security man. I clung to a strand of hope that I’d see my father again. I clung to even less hope than that for a future with Nolan, that there could be some sort of explanation for his latest transgression. “Is it because of the firm? You can fucking have it, Nolan. I don’t want any of it! I don’t want this life! I want to disappear off the face of the earth and never be seen again. I want that Krav Maga bitch to give me another sedative that somehow wipes all memory I have of you. Because as much as I love you, right now I hate you even more.”

I collapsed onto the floor and suddenly his arms were around me, pressing me against him. I wanted to scratch his eyes out, but I was too exhausted.

“You have to tell me how you know about Adrianna,” he said calmly. I jerked my head up to look at him.

“I don’t have to tell you shit,” I said. “It was Jessa. She emailed me photos.”

Nolan pulled away from me for a moment. “You checked your email on the plane?”

“Yes,” I said, scooting away from him. His touch was poison. “I know, it was dumb. The stewardess had to throw my iPad out the back of the plane to keep the firm from finding us.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “That bitch.”

“She’s not a bitch, she’s actually been really nice to me,” I said. “She didn’t even act all that angry that I’d used my iPad.”

“Not her,” he said. “Jessa. She’s a stone cold bitch for sending you those photos.”

“Why?” I asked. “Because they’re the truth? It doesn’t make her a bitch.”

“It’s not the truth,” he said, quietly. “I’m not married. Not anymore.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest. I had no idea what to say to that. I still didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Which wouldn’t be far.

“So you’re divorced,” I said. “You should have mentioned that.”

“I’m not divorced,” he said, anger in his voice. “I’m a widower. Adrianna is dead.”

My stomach dropped.

He was right. If what he was saying was true, Jessa really was a bitch.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I… didn’t know.”

He shook his head. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

He wasn’t looking at me though. His face was sad. It was one of the only times I’d seen true melancholy cross his handsome features.

“How…” I started but then stopped. That was a terribly rude question.

“She was killed,” Nolan said. “By the agency she worked for. They felt she had compromised her position by being with me. They’re rivals of the firm and they felt like she knew too much about them and would eventually double cross them. She wouldn’t have. She was leaving them… Trying to make a clean start with me. She didn’t want to have anything to do with international espionage anymore. She just wanted to be with me…” His voice trailed off. “Anyway, when she died, I was a wreck. I quit the firm for almost two years. Your father took care of me. He’d lost so much himself. There is a language of loss that only people who have dealt with a particular pain could understand.” Nolan looked at me. “You know it. You felt it when you thought your father was gone.”

I nodded. “And when I thought you were gone. I felt so terrible… That pain, the confusion, the unanswered questions, it was so much worse for me.”

Through my tears I watched the suit exit the room, closing the door quietly behind him, apparently satisfied as to my safety and my need for privacy with Nolan.

He reached out to me and I fell into his arms, crying at his loss and my own. There was so much to mourn. I didn’t even know where to start.

“Your father wanted to transition me slowly back into the firm,” Nolan whispered into my hair. “He assigned me to you. He wanted me to be in charge of his most precious person. And he never would have guessed she’d become the woman I would love above all others. Even Adrianna.”

I looked at him, my eyes wide.

“It’s true,” he said, looking at me. “It’s made me feel guilty so many times… I stopped thinking about her. I mean, I still think of her so often. She was a wonderful woman who I cared about so much. Someone I think you would have liked a lot. But nothing can compete with the desire and love I have for you, Camilla.” He kissed me gently on my forehead. “I’m torn over whether I should feel bad about that. But you lit a fire in me that had never been lit before. And every time I’m with you, every time I touch your body, it just stokes the flames further.”

God. To hear those words.

I kissed him back, softly. “Nolan. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t know…”

“Of course not,” he said, pushing my hair off my face. “Not many people do. I’m not angry with you. I would have felt the same in your position.”

We embraced and just held each other, his hand running through my hair. He kissed the top of my head and down to my temples. His kisses were softer than I’d become accustomed to, and I melted under each of them.

He kissed my eyelids. The bridge of my nose. My cheeks. Just when I thought he’d finally kiss my mouth, he skipped it and went to my chin. Then my throat and up the side of my neck to just below and behind my ears. My body turned to jelly in his arms and I had to put mine around his neck, interlocking my fingers behind his head just to remain standing.

“You’re. (kiss) So. (kiss) Delicious. (kiss) Camilla.”

The kisses on my neck started to include small bites, and I gasped as he placed a hand at the small of my back and pulled me tightly against him.

His lips finally met mine, but the contact was fleeting. I whimpered in frustration as he captured my breath in his open mouth and retreated from my desperate lips.

“Please kiss me, Nolan,” I begged.

“Oh, but where, Camilla?”

He spun me around and pushed me against the wall, taking my wrists in his hands and pulling them up over my head. He held them both in one of his large hands, and his free hand reached around the graze my stomach near my belly button, laid bare by my shirt being pulled up with my arms.

His touch there jolted me like a cattle prod.

“There are so many delicious places to kiss you. I should probably kiss them all, don’t you think?”

He was kissing the back of my neck now, his index finger running maddeningly inside the waistband of my sweatpants. I struggled to free my wrists, wanting to tear his clothes off. And mine.

But he was having none of it.

“You’re very naughty, Camilla. Writhing like this. It seems you may need to be restrained.”

He lifted the bottom of my t-shirt up, over my breasts and then my head, until it was up to where my wrists were. He twisted it into impromptu handcuffs, leaving me completely bare and exposed from the waist up.

“Now, then. Let’s get back to kissing you.”

I had never been more desperate to get fucked, to be taken, to climax, as I was as he slowly covered my shoulders and back with his mouth. He reached around and let his knuckles drag against my nipples, and I had to bit my bottom lip hard to keep from screaming and risk another interruption from the man in the suit outside our door.