The Miraculous Makeover of Lizard Flanagan (13 page)

Me
?

Gee, I thought. Maybe this is how Zach feels when Ginger and Lisa look at him. It was kind of weird. I mean it was nice, but it felt funny. I was glad boys don't squeal the way girls do. That would've been really embarrassing.

I thought about that all afternoon. I wasn't interested in having a boyfriend the way the other girls were. I just wanted to maybe dance with a boy once in a while. And beat them in baseball and football the rest of the time.

At least Zach liked my braid. Things were looking up.

16

I love everything about high school football games. I love the crowds, the shouting, the waving, the excitement.

And the music, even though our band is pretty bad.

For this game, I planned to spend halftime getting popcorn and soda. There was no way I was going to watch Lisa the Snot dance her stupid hula.

Mary Ann and I have been to all the high school games for the last three years. We used to go with our parents, but since last year, we've been old enough to go by ourselves.

On Friday night, Mary Ann's father dropped us off at the game, and we hurried to the gate. I spotted Ginger and Lisa hovering like vultures on the other side of the fence. They were standing at the entrance, eyeing every person who entered. Lisa wore a raincoat over her hula costume. She'd left the raincoat unbuttoned so everyone could see her in it—what little there was of it.

Mary Ann nudged me. “I wonder who they're waiting for?”

“I could never guess. Let's avoid them.”

Just through the gate, we walked away from them.

“
Lizard! Mary Ann!
”

We turned and pretended we were surprised to see them. “Oh, hi.”

They came trotting over.

“Are the guys here yet?” Ginger asked.

“If you mean Sam and Zach, I don't know. I haven't seen either of them.”

Ginger laughed. “You're supposed to be my spy.”

“Spying isn't my style,” I told her. “Guess you'll have to keep watching for them.”

“Don't worry, we will. We will,” Ginger said while Lisa used her eagle eyes to scan the crowd.

Ginger started yakking at Mary Ann then, but I didn't hear what she said, because I'd just spotted Shannon Bayles. She was wearing a red sweatshirt and leaning against a pole at the back of the bleachers. She clutched a large paper bag and stared at Lisa and Ginger, a smile on her lips. As I watched, Angie and Cheryl stepped out from behind her.

“We found the perfect spot!” Angie said. “Come on!

Shannon snickered. “I can't wait to see the look on her face!”

The three girls turned and headed back under the bleachers.

What was going on? It had to have something to do with Lisa. Something bad they were planning for her.

I wondered if I should follow them and find out.

No, this is none of my business, I decided. Besides, I can't stand Lisa. Why should I help her?

Mary Ann and I made our way into the stands. We have a favorite spot on the fifty-yard line and can usually sit there if we arrive early enough.

Our spot hadn't been taken yet. We sat down.

“Hey, Mary Ann!” a voice called. It was Al Pickering, sitting with Tom Luther about five rows in front of us.

“Hi!” Mary Ann turned bright red and waved back, smiling. After he'd turned around, she said, “He really is a nice guy.”

“I know,” I said. “I like him, too.”

She nodded, still smiling. “I'm glad.”

“We're supposed to do well this year,” I said. “Our star quarterback made state—”

“I
know,
Lizard,” Mary Ann said. “I still read the sports page.”

“And we've got Mike Tanner, one of the best running backs in the conference!”

“We sure do.” I could tell Mary Ann was trying not to laugh. Maybe I was kind of excited. I told you I love football.

We sat for a while watching the bleachers fill up around us.

I felt a tug on my braid.

“Well, look who's here!” It was Ginger's voice.

We turned to see Ginger, Sam, Lisa, and Zach sitting in the seats just behind us. It was Zach who'd given my braid a yank. He grinned.

“Hi, guys,” I said.

Ginger and Lisa looked like cats who'd just eaten canaries.

“You boys will need to tell us what's going on,” Ginger said to Zach and Sam. “We don't know a lot about football.”

You mean you don't know anything about football,
I thought.

“Okay,” Zach said. “No problem.”

“But I'll have to leave when there're five minutes left on the clock,” Lisa said. “I have to get ready for my dance.”

“Great! I can't wait to see it,” Zach said.

I wondered, again, what Shannon and her friends were planning for Lisa. Would they sabotage Lisa's hula? What if they embarrassed Lisa in front of the whole football crowd?

It wouldn't be right, but I wouldn't mind too much. It would be fun to see what Lisa was like when she wasn't cool. “Ooo, I'd be so nervous if I were you, Lisa!” Ginger said. “Don't you just want to die?”

“No, I'm ready,” Lisa said. “It'll be fun.”

Let her fight her own battles,
I thought.
She can take care of herself.

Just then, our team, the West High Packers, ran onto the field. We stood and cheered. Ginger and Lisa yelled as loud as anybody.

Then we settled down to watch. The Packers won the toss. Our West kicker shot the ball down the field to their thirty-yard line. Their receiver caught it and ran it up ten yards before we tackled him.

“Ooo, Lisa, look at the cheerleaders' outfits,” Ginger said. “Aren't they cute?”

“Yeah,” Lisa said. “Maybe I'll go out for cheerleading in high school.”

The Packers were back into play. During the next few minutes, Mike Tanner intercepted a wobbly pass and ran it to the fifteen-yard line.

“Man, Tanner's got great hands!” Zach said, leaning forward to Mary Ann and me.

“He sure does!” I said, grinning back at him.

“We're going to have a great season,” Sam said.

“I wonder who he'll play for in college?” Mary Ann said.

“I sure hope State U gets him,” Zach said.

“They'll recruit him for sure,” I said.

“Hey!” Ginger said. “Who're you guys sitting with, anyway?”

Zach and Sam sat back.

The players came out of their huddle and lined up on the line of scrimmage. Our quarterback, Paul Allison, handed the ball off to the running back, who ran it to the ten-yard line and was tackled. It took him a while to get up.

The crowd leaped to its feet, screaming bloody murder.

“Did you see that!” I yelled back at Zach. “He grabbed Jeff Ferguson's face mask!”

“The ref didn't even see it!” Zach yelled, shaking his head.

“Are you
blind,
ref?” I shouted.

“What's going on?” Lisa said.

“One of their players grabbed hold of Ferguson's face mask to tackle him,” Zach explained. “That's illegal.”

“That's horrible,” Lisa said. “What are they going to do about it?”

“Nothing,” Zach said. “The ref didn't see it.”

“That's not fair!”

Our coach was on the field yelling at the ref and the crowd in the stands was still hollering.

“Let's get the guy a pair of glasses,” Mary Ann said to me.

Play resumed with Paul Allison taking the ball over the goal line for a touchdown. An official threw up a yellow flag and gestured an off-sides penalty against the other team, but we declined the penalty.

Sam explained what the yellow flag meant to Ginger and Lisa.

“But we should
make
them pay the penalty,” Lisa said. “First, the ref didn't see the face mask thing, and now just because we got a touchdown, we're letting them off?”

“But if we accepted the penalty,” Zach said, “we couldn't keep the touchdown. What if they got control of the ball?”

“Well,” Lisa said, “I don't know, but it seems stupid to let them off so easy.”

I looked at Mary Ann, who shook her head in disbelief. Lisa was so dumb!

“Boy, this sure is a slow game.” Ginger stood up and stretched. “Hey, Lisa, do you want to go talk to Heather and Sara?”

“Sure,” Lisa said. She turned to Zach. “If I'm not back before halftime, be sure to watch for me in the show.”

“I will,” Zach promised.

“Don't miss us too much!” Ginger said. “'Bye, guys.”

Ginger and Lisa made their way down the row, making ten people stand up to let them pass. Then they disappeared up the bleacher steps.

I went back to watching the game and got so involved, it wasn't until the first half was over that I realized that Ginger and Lisa hadn't come back.

“You want some popcorn?” I asked Mary Ann.

“Don't you want to watch Lisa?”

“Are you kidding?”

Mary Ann grinned. “Okay, get us a big tub of popcorn and we'll share.”

I turned to the guys. “You want popcorn?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Zach said. “But hurry up or you'll miss Lisa.”

It took me ten minutes to get to the front of the concession line and buy the corn. I heard the band playing on the field as I loaded three large popcorn tubs into my arms and headed back to the stands.

A flash of red under the bleachers caught my eye. I leaned down and peered between the steps. Shannon Bayles, in her red sweatshirt, was hunched over something. Angie and Cheryl were with her.

Should I sneak up on them to see what they were doing? But if I found out what they were going to do to Lisa, wouldn't I be obligated to stop them?

Yes, I would.

Did I want to stop them from doing something awful to Lisa?

Heck no.

You didn't see them, I told myself. Besides, the popcorn was getting cold. I rejoined the group and handed out the popcorn. Ginger had come back from her social calls and was holding Sam's hand. How could he stand it?

On the field, the band was marching in a ukulele formation, playing “Blue Hawaii.”

“And now,” said the announcer over the loudspeaker, “join the West High School band and dancers from Diane's Dance Studio in a salute to our fiftieth state, Hawaii!”

It looked like I was going to have to watch Lisa's stupid dance after all.

Nine girls wearing short wrap skirts, halter tops, and leis ran onto the field. Lisa ran down front and center, right in front of the band.

A lot of the guys in the stands whistled and hooted at the dancers in their skimpy costumes. Lisa turned her megawatt smile into the stands in Zach's direction.

“There she is! Isn't she beautiful?” Ginger cried.

“Yeah!” Zach and Sam said at the same time.

They were practically drooling, for crying out loud.

The stands were still half empty because people were getting food. I looked down between the wooden planks at my feet just in time to see Shannon, Angie, and Cheryl. Each of them held a large bulging balloon tied with string. The balloons looked oddly heavy.

Water balloons?

“She'll be purple for months after this permanent dye splashes all over her,” Shannon said. “Put on your masks.”

The girls slipped plastic dinosaur Halloween masks over their faces. Then they crawled out from under the bleachers in front of the band.

My heart was beating hard and two voices were arguing in my head.

Stop them! They're going to dye Lisa purple! She'll look like a grape! She'll be a laughingstock!

Yes, and it'll be wonderful! She deserves it. She humiliated those three girls in gym class. Besides, you hate her! She's taken Zach away!

Lisa started dancing the hula, swaying her hips back and forth and moving her arms at her sides like waves in the ocean. Guys in the stands whistled and applauded.

Angie and Cheryl were each holding a short wooden pole. The poles were attached to strips of rubber tubing. A pouch tied in between the strips joined the poles together. As I watched, Angie and Cheryl gripped their poles firmly while Shannon put one of the balloons in the pouch.

It was a balloon launcher!

Stop them! Don't let them do this!
the voice in my head screamed.

I looked around wildly. Everyone in the stands was watching the hula dancers on the field. No one seemed to notice the three girls setting up.

But I hate Lisa. I hate her!
the other voice argued.

Shannon pulled the pouch back, stretching the tubes.

“I can't let it happen, I can't, I can't.” I jumped up from my seat and scrambled down between the empty bleacher seats in front of me.

“Where are you going?” Mary Ann called after me.

“What's with Lizard?” Zach asked.

I hurtled over the rail in front of the first row and landed with a thud on the ground about fifteen feet from Shannon and her balloon launcher. The pouch, loaded with the balloon, was pulled back as far as the tightly stretched tubing would allow.

“Let it fly!” Shannon yelled from behind her mask as she released the balloon.

The dye-filled balloon hurled high through the air.

Lisa, who was concentrating on her dance, didn't see it coming.

Plosh!

The balloon hit the ground close to Lisa's feet and spattered purple inky splotches all over her legs.

She screamed and ran back a few yards. “My legs!” she cried. “Look at my legs!”

Shannon already had put a second balloon in the pouch. She started to pull it back as I raced for her.

“Don't do it, Shannon!” I yelled. “
Stop!
”

I leaped at her and tackled her. She fell like a stone, her mask flying off to the side. She hit the grass facedown with an “Oof!”

Something exploded underneath her.

“Oh, shoot,” Shannon said. She slowly sat up and looked at me, blinking.