The Miraculous Makeover of Lizard Flanagan (11 page)

We came to a corner and stopped to wait for traffic to pass.

“Did Sam say something?” she asked.

“He thinks he's so smart! I'd like to punch his lights out!”

“Good idea. We'll take turns,” Mary Ann said. “First you punch his lights out, then I'll finish him off with karate kicks to the stomach.” She kicked her leg as high as her skirt would allow.

We walked along the sidewalk. A couple of older kids rode by on their bikes yelling back and forth to each other.

“Lizard?” Mary Ann said.

“Yeah?”

“I have another idea.”

“I don't want to hear it.”

“How about if we got you some blush?” Mary Ann said.

“Makeup? No way.”

“It gives your skin a rosy glow,” Mary Ann said. “Like the way your face looks after you've pitched a no-hitter.”

“My face is sticky with sweat after I've pitched a no-hitter.”

“Without the sweat,” Mary Ann said. “Just glowing and healthy looking.”

It seemed dumb to put on something unnatural in order to look natural.

“I'm not interested.”

“Blush would be easier to wear than the skirt,” Mary Ann persisted. “Less noticeable.”

I sighed. “I s'pose you're going to be on my back till I try it.”

Mary Ann grinned. “Right.”

“Okay, I'll
try
it,” I said. “But if I don't like it, I won't wear it!”

After school, I met Mary Ann by the flagpole.

“Let's go to Whetstone's,” she suggested.

Whetstone's Drug Store is on the way home. They have just about everything you could ever want to buy.

We pulled open the heavy glass door and walked inside, and that's when I thought of it.

“We can't do this now,” I said, stopping abruptly.

“Why not?”

“Because all the kids come here after school. Anybody could come in while we're looking at blush!”

“It's not a big deal, Lizard,” Mary Ann said. “Buying blush isn't a crime, you know.”

“Yeah,” I said, “but if any of the guys come in here, I'll never hear the end of it.”

“This'll just take a minute,” Mary Ann promised.

She took hold of my arm and steered me to the cosmetics department. I kept checking the aisles nervously. I didn't see anyone, but that didn't mean they weren't there.

Mary Ann stopped at the end of an aisle. “Here's the blush. Let's see what your color is.”

I looked over my shoulder. “Just give me whatever you bought. Then let's get out of here.”

“Oh, you can't buy just any color,” Mary Ann said. “You should buy whatever complements your complexion.”

“Whatever.” I glanced up the aisle. “Just do it fast.”

“Besides, I got my blush at the hair salon,” Mary Ann said. “They don't have the same brand here. Now give me your hand.”

“What for?”

“So I can look at your skin color.”

“It's flesh-colored,” I said. “Just like yours. Come on, hurry up.”

Mary Ann grabbed my wrist and studied the back of my hand. “Everyone's flesh tones are different.”

“Mary Ann, I'm putting it on my face, not my hand.”

“It doesn't matter,” Mary Ann said. “This is how you check coloring. Here.”

She brushed on a little blush from a sampler. “That's pretty good.”

I looked up then to see my brother turn the corner and start down the aisle with Stinky.

“Oh, no!” I snatched my hand from Mary Ann and turned my back on the guys. “Let's go!”

“We're not finished …”

“I don't care. Let's go!” I dragged Mary Ann into the next aisle. “I don't want them to see us!” I knew the guys were headed for the candy aisle. “Let's stay here for a few minutes.”

Mary Ann rolled her eyes but nodded.

After about half a minute, I tiptoed around to peek up their aisle. They weren't there.

I turned back to Mary Ann. “Coast's clear.”

“Good,” she said. “Let's go back. That shade wasn't quite right for you.”

“Just make it snappy.”

At the cosmetics section, Mary Ann pulled out another sample. “Let's try this.” She brushed a little on my skin.

“There,” she said. “See, it blends right into your own skin color.”

“Oooo, that's nice, Lizard.”

I hadn't heard Sam and Stinky come up behind me. I whirled around to face them.

Sam was grinning idiotically and nodding. “Real nice. Right, Stinky?”

“Riiiiiight,” Stinky said. His eyes narrowed and took on a mean glint. I'd apologized to him about the stinko comment, but I knew he was still mad at me. “Lizard in makeup. I wouldn't have believed it in a million years!”

I knew my face was scarlet, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I tried to calm myself before I spoke.

“Mary Ann wanted to show me the makeup she bought the other day,” I said.

“So how come she was putting it on you?” Sam asked. “Maybe she thought it would go with your new skirt?” He looked down at my shorts. “Hey, where's the skirt?”

“Come on,” I told Mary Ann. “Let's go.”

“Uh, okay,” Mary Ann said, “but I have to pay for my new blush.”

It seemed to take the guy at the cash register forever to ring up the sale. I prayed we wouldn't run into anyone else we knew.

“I'll never buy makeup again!” I said, once we were finally outside the store. “Not ever in my
whole, entire life!
”

13

It's supposed to give me a rosy glow.
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror.
You're supposed to put it on so it looks like you don't have it on.

I brushed some blush on my cheek.

Mary Ann was right. It was subtle.

It's supposed to make me look the way I do after playing ball
, I thought.
Better put on some more.

I tried it again. That was more like it.

Then I put it on the other cheek.

“More red. Just a little.” I brushed it all over my face.

I stood back and looked at myself. That's the way I look after playing a game of baseball.

I went back to my room and hid the blush under my socks at the back of the drawer.

Mom was walking up the hall from her bedroom. “There's some new cereal in the pantry,” she said as we passed. “Lizard?”

I turned back.

“Honey, do you feel okay?”

“Sure. Why?”

Mom felt my head. “You look feverish. I wonder if you're running a fev—” She stopped and stared at my face. “Uh—okay, honey.” She smiled and patted my arm. “You look nice.”

“Thanks.”

I started down the stairs with Mom close behind me. I went into the kitchen and pulled a bowl out of the cupboard. Mom sat at the table with Dad and Sam.

I poured the new cereal into the bowl and sat down. Dad was busy eating, but Sam stared at me.

He grinned. “Think you got enough red on your face, Liz—” Mom made a sudden move and Sam yelled, “Ow!” He gave Mom a surprised look, and she glared at him.

Mom must have stomped on his foot under the table. Good for her! Sam's a rat.

Dad sat there, looking from one of us to the other, as if he didn't know what was going on. Then he stared at me.

I forced myself to sit there for the rest of the breakfast. I ate the new cereal, but I didn't taste it. I just wanted to get it down so I could go back upstairs and wipe the red off my face.

I excused myself as soon as I could and ran to the bathroom.

My face did look awfully red, so I took a piece of toilet paper and rubbed most of the blush off. I left a tiny bit. It looked pretty good, but I was sure no one would know I was wearing it.

Mary Ann said it looked nice when we rode to school with the guys. No one at school seemed to notice I was wearing makeup. Not even Ginger, who usually zeroes in on stuff like that.

At lunch, I sat with Zach and the guys as usual.

“Man, that Tammy Holden's so funny!” Ed said. “Did you hear what she did in Kapp's class?”

Mr. Kapp is one of the science teachers in our group.

“No, what'd she do?” I said.

“She was chomping gum really loud,” Ed said. “I could hear her cracking it all the way across the room. So Kapp says, ‘Tammy, do you have gum in your mouth?' and Tammy makes this big gulping noise and says”—he put a stupid grin on his face and imitated Tammy's nasal voice—“‘Not anymore!'”

I laughed and looked over at Zach. He wasn't even smiling. He was staring over our heads across the cafeteria.

“Earth to Zach,” I said.

Zach jumped a little. “What?”

“Aw,” Stinky said. “He's thinking about
Lisa.
”

“I was not.”

But of course he was.

After lunch when we walked out of the cafeteria, he pulled me away from the others.

“You want to go down to the creek after school?” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. We haven't been there in a while.”

“Sure.”

I smiled to myself. Boys sure could be dumb sometimes, I thought. All it takes is a little blush to get them interested.

I went through the afternoon feeling great. I met Mary Ann after school and told her I was going down to the creek with Zach. She grinned and said she'd see me tomorrow.

I found Zach at his locker. We stopped to pick up our bikes and rode to the creek.

Zach sat forward on the log, his elbows resting on his knees. He stared into the water and didn't speak for a long time.

“So you like your classes?” he said finally.

That was a funny question. I mean, I see him every day and we'd been in school for over two weeks.

“Yeah. You like yours?”

“Yeah.”

“That's good.”

I had a feeling Zach wanted to say something, but he just couldn't do it.

“Did you want to talk to me about something?”

Zach looked suprised. “How'd you know?”

I grinned. “I can read your mind.”

He grinned back. His ears were turning pink. “Then do you know what I wanted to talk about?”

“No. I'm not getting a clear reading on that.”

“Well.” He cleared his throat. “You and Mary Ann are really close, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, do you think—I mean, do you think Mary Ann would mind if I—talk to her?”

Boy, this was really weird. Zach had known Mary Ann as long as I had.

“No. Why would she?”

He reached down and picked a long weed that was growing at his feet. He twisted it around his finger.

“I mean—well, I want to talk to her about—Lisa.”

My stomach lurched. I should have known this had something to do with her!

“I'm sure Mary Ann will talk to you about Lisa,” I said. “But I don't get it. Why do you need to talk about her with Mary Ann?”

Zach shrugged. “Well, Mary Ann's a girl, and I thought she might know the best way to get to know Lisa.”

I stared at Zach. “Mary Ann's a girl? So what am I?”

Zach's ears turned from pink to Cardinals' red. “Oh, yeah. Okay, do you have any ideas?”

“About getting to know Lisa?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, what's she interested in?” I almost added, “Besides hairdos and fashion magazines,” but I changed my mind at the last second.

Zach thought a moment. “I don't know.”

“What is she good at?” I asked him. “Maybe you could compliment her on something she does.”

I thought about telling him that Lisa would be dancing the hula at the football game, but I decided he could find that out himself. Why should I help her?

Zach shook his head sheepishly. “I don't know that either.”

That's when it hit me. Zach didn't know anything about Lisa.

“So if you don't know her interests or her talents, what is it about her that you like?”

Zach shrugged and laughed a little. “Don't you think she's beautiful?”

“Yeah.” My insides ached. “She's beautiful, all right.” Would Zach still like her if he knew the truth about her?
Do it
, I told myself.
Tell him what a brat she is!
“But she's not very nice. You should've heard the rotten thing she said to some girls in my gym class.”

“What did she say?”

“She said, ‘If I were as ugly as you three, I wouldn't want to look in a mirror.'”

“Maybe they'd been mean to her.”

“No, they weren't mean at all. She's really awful,” I persisted. “And she thinks she's the most beautiful—”

“Lisa is so beautiful, every other girl is jealous of her.” Zach cut me off. “Even you!”

I stared at Zach. “I'm not jealous of her. I don't like her because she acts spoiled and mean.”

Zach stood up. “I've got to get home. I told Mom I'd help her with yard work.”

He was mad, I could tell. “Okay,” I said finally.

He started to leave, then turned back. “You're right, Lizard. I should find out more about her. Thanks for the advice. But don't bad-mouth Lisa. It isn't right.”

He climbed the side of the ravine and disappeared over the edge.

Good going, Lizard,
I thought unhappily.

Another rotten day in a rotten school year. Zach wasn't my buddy anymore and everything was horrible.

I hated middle school!

14

“Stupid hair,” I said to my reflection in the bathroom mirror. It wasn't like Lisa's, all full and pretty and falling in thick waves down my back. It hung from my head, a tangled mess.

I pushed a brush through it, and it fell limp around my face.

I sighed. I needed a miraculous makeover like those women in the magazines. Maybe I should have looked more closely at the article at the slumber party, I thought. What could I do with my hair?