“Save it.” I’d heard it before with my dad. Didn’t these people have anything new? “I don’t care about the past. I don’t care about any of this. I’m leaving.”
She followed me into the hall. I could sense her determination to keep me there, although why, I wasn’t sure. She hadn’t wanted me before, why now? “And where will you go?”
“North Carolina.”
“Cameron, be serious. You can’t return to the compound.”
I didn’t bother to respond, but started down the hall, back toward that large room. Okay, so I had no clue where I was going, and I had no money. I knew one thing, there had to be a way out of these freaking tunnels.
“Cameron, your father won’t forgive you. He won’t trust you now that you’ve left. If you go there, it will be as the enemy.”
I fought the sensation of anxiety that washed over me. I wouldn’t let her think she had any control over my emotions. Frustrated and lost, I paused in the hall. “How do I get out?”
“You’re not leaving!” It was the first time she’d raised her voice and the sound echoed down the hall, bouncing off the stone walls before the area settled into silence once more.
Slowly, I turned and faced her. Anger overtook any anxiety. “You lost the power to tell me what to do when you abandoned me.”
I ignored the hurt in her eyes and turned toward that large meeting room where I’d first seen my mother. So what if I’d crushed her feelings? She deserved it. Besides, she was the least of my worries. Maybe Nora would tell me how to escape. If not, I’d walk until I found a door, even if it took all day and all night.
I could hear the soft murmur of voices and knew my mom had stayed behind and was talking to Father Myron, most likely discussing the best way to subdue me.
The large conference room was empty. I continued down the hall, turning left and silence settled heavy in the corridors. I pressed my fingers to the damp stone. The walls were thick and soundproof. I felt trapped. Buried. Watched.
“You won’t be able to find your way out.” I glanced at Nora who stood, arms crossed, in the doorway of another large room. “And besides, there are guards posted at every entrance.”
“Get the hell away from me.”
She sighed and stepped into the hall, blocking my exit. “Just follow me.”
I hesitated for only a moment, but realizing I was getting nowhere fast, and I was losing valuable time, I hurried after her. We turned right and there, at the end of the hall, a short stone stairway curved up to a wooden door. Nora had already typed a code into the keypad before I made it to her side. She pushed the door open and brilliant sunlight pierced the darkness. Blinking rapidly, I hesitated, confused.
“Come on.”
I followed her into a small living room; into someone’s home. Curious, I turned just as she was shutting the door, which was actually a bookshelf. Clever. A nice hiding place. It made me wonder where the other entrances and exits were located. They could be all over the city.
I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling lost and disoriented. “Where are we?”
“This is our home.”
Their
home? They had a home. Mom and Nora. Irritation flared. How great for them. My jaw clenched as I took in the room. An oversized sofa with a knitted blanket. A fireplace with the pictures on the mantel. Nora’s school photos, Nora and mom at the beach. My gaze slid around the room. Nora and my mom’s jackets hung on the coat rack. It was completely and totally lived in. They were settled, and obviously had been for years. Anger and hurt combined.
Without a word I started toward the front door. I wouldn’t let her see me upset. I wouldn’t let her think she had affected me or that I cared. Unfortunately, I could hear Nora following. I pushed the door wide and stepped into the crisp morning. Although I could smell the fumes of the city, the open air brought with it a calm that I desperately needed. I started down the steps and onto the sidewalk.
My mother’s home was a beautiful Victorian rowhouse, painted a clean white with a small front porch. It must have been built in the 1800s, or maybe even later. A cute dollhouse sort of home with roses climbing up trellises next to windows with blue shutters. The sort of home I would have loved as a child. But I was no longer a child. It was time to give up foolish dreams that would never happen.
I jogged across the street and started through a square; one of the many garden squares that made up Savannah. There was a fountain on one side and a large monument in the middle. A few trees gave the square shade, and people already took advantage of the benches, reading their newspapers, or chatting with other travelers; at ease with life and the world. It made me sick to think that they were all so clueless.
“So, you’re just going to head to North Carolina?” Nora called out, following me.
I didn’t respond, but headed across the square toward the fountain.
“And how will you get there?” She caught up to me. “You have no car, no money. Nothing.”
I slid her a glance and hoped the hatred I felt for her was apparent in my eyes. “Gee, thanks for the reminder. I’ll hitchhike. I’ll use my powers. That’s what you all do, isn’t it? Use your powers for your own gain?”
“You can’t.” She grabbed my arm. “You don’t know where you’re going. You don’t know—”
“Shut up!” I jerked away from her and sank onto a marble bench honoring some dead white guy. “Just shut up.”
Why? Why couldn’t they all just leave me alone? I rested my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands. She was right, but I would die before I’d admit it. What was I doing? Where would I go? Even if I could make it to the compound, how would I get inside? Would my dad really accept my apology? Or would he know I lied? I didn’t know if I had it in me to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, pretend to agree with my dad’s beliefs. Smile and pretend to be part of a happy family, as Tara seemed to be capable of doing.
But I had to rescue Lewis. I had to save him. I
had
to.
Nora was quiet as she sank onto the bench beside me. Instead of a smirk in my direction or some condescending remark, she just watched the tourists stroll the grounds, laughing and taking pictures of each other. Normal families on normal vacations.
“I can’t leave him there,” I whispered.
Lewis was out in the world somewhere. Probably only five hours away.
Lewis.
I closed my eyes. Lewis, who had been injured. Lewis, who must still be alive. He had to be. And I would find him, and we would be free of all of this insanity…maybe move to an island somewhere south. Maybe escape to Canada. I didn’t really care, as long as we were free.
“Stay,” Nora said softly. “Stay here and train. Just for a week. You need to be able to use your powers to their fullest potential. Become as strong as you can while Lewis heals. You wouldn’t be able to escape now anyway, not with him injured. You’ll have a better chance when he’s healed.”
“And how do you know he will heal?” I shifted, facing her fully. “How do you know they haven’t already killed him?”
“I told you, we have people who work for us on the inside.” She shrugged, looking unconcerned. “But I also know because they want to use his powers. He’s more valuable alive, than dead.”
“I can’t sit here and do nothing.” I surged to my feet. “I can’t let Lewis rot in prison for a week. It would be wrong, don’t you get that?”
She stood as well. “Yeah, I get it, but you’re using your heart, not your head. If you go there now, you won’t be prepared, and I promise you’ll end up as one of their prisoners. Besides, Lewis is in no condition to travel.”
I briefly closed my eyes, my stomach aching. Lewis was in no shape because he was hurt and alone and it was my fault.
“If you want to save Lewis, stay here. Train, learn about your powers and about the compound from me.”
I opened my eyes, anger and frustration surging through me. How did I know I could trust them? More importantly, why should I? “What the hell could I possibly learn from you?”
“A lot.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I know that place. I know the cells. I know the land.”
“How?” I released a harsh laugh. “What, were you raised on S.P.I. knowledge 101? Was it a prerequisite at your school?”
She narrowed her eyes, obviously annoyed. “No, smartass. I know the S.P.I. compound because I was a prisoner there for two years.”
The early morning sun pierced the white curtains that hung over the guest room windows. A guest room, and it was mine for now because I had no bedroom here in this house where my sister and mother lived. I was the guest.
In those tunnels I’d wanted to do nothing more than escape the smothering earth. Now here, I wished I could burrow back into the dark and welcome the crush of rock. The sun seemed to mock me, to delight in the fact that it was brilliant and hopeful while I was depressed and pathetic.
I hadn’t slept at all. I hadn’t even drifted off. I hadn’t cried, which I knew was strange, but I felt numb. I lay upon the bed and stared at the windows and thought about Lewis; worried he wasn’t well. Worried he was dying. Worried that I’d never get him back.
And I thought about Nora, and how she’d been taken captive eight years ago by our very own father. I thought about what she’d told me in such a casual way, as if it hadn’t affected her in the least. How he had tortured her, attempting to uncover the extent of her abilities.
I pulled the white duvet higher, attempting to get warm, but it was a fruitless effort. I was chilled to my very core. Chilled by my new knowledge and circumstances. Nora didn’t say more and I didn’t ask. She might have sounded blasé about it all, but I knew better. I’d seen Nora and my father together months ago in Florida, before I’d known she was my sister. I’d witnessed the anger in her eyes, heard the pain in her voice. I hadn’t understood it then, but I certainly did now. I knew deep down he would do the same to me, but it didn’t change the fact that I’d risk it all to save Lewis.
With a sigh of frustration I shoved aside the blanket. Last night I’d returned to the house defeated, realizing I couldn’t fight my father alone… at least not yet. I’d sat quietly at the kitchen table as my mom, Nora and Father Myron had discussed my powers as if I wasn’t even there. They seemed to think I could do so much more than I realized.
Although I’d been numb and lost, their conversation had stirred something within me. When I thought back through the years, I realized there had been times when I’d surprised myself. Only a couple weeks ago I’d moved that gun across the floor at my father’s compound without touching the weapon. Only a few days ago I’d mentally caused that man pain who had tried to attack Lewis. Last year I’d broken into Maddox’s mind. Maybe, just maybe, they’d been right, and with training, I could take on my dad, S.P.I. and even Maddox.
I curled on my side, my heart full of pain and anger. Maddox. The man I’d trusted. The man who had taken sides and it hadn’t been mine. I sniffed back the sudden sting of tears, refusing to cry. If I did, I feared I’d never stop. Instead, I focused on the curtains, light as air, and poured out my energy, picturing the linens moving. Nora said I needed practice, so I’d practice.
I was more than surprised when they fluttered, then slid open allowing even more brilliant light into the gloomy room. I frowned and pushed myself up. Why did my powers work sometimes, and not others?
A soft knock broke through the serenity of morning. I jerked my attention toward the door and searched with my mind, but of course no thoughts came. Another mind reader stood there, either Nora or my mother, neither of which I wanted to see. I hesitated as long as I could, avoiding the new day. I hated being under their watchful gazes. They acted like I was a caged animal that might at any moment go wild.
The knock sounded again. She wasn’t going away.
I sighed. “Come in.”
The door creaked open and mom stepped inside. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the jeans and dark blue T-shirt she wore fit her lean body like a glove. “Hi.” She smiled, but it was a hesitant smile. “Breakfast is ready.”
I nodded, suddenly too overcome to speak. The emotions hit me like a bulldozer; unwanted emotions I’d been ignoring since yesterday. They wouldn’t be ignored any longer. I curled my hands, my fingernails biting into my sensitive palms. I refused to give in while she still stood there.
She paused for what seemed like forever, as if she wanted to say more. Why wouldn’t she leave? Tears stung my eyes and I wished she’d leave, prayed she’d leave.
As if sensing my desperation, she gave a quick nod, turned and left, closing the door.
I spun around and pressed my face into my pillow as a sob tore from my throat. Oh God, my mom. My mom was here. My mom was alive.
No. No. No.
I drew my knees to my chest and allowed the tears to drop from my face and soak my pillow. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t do anything other than cry. Everything I’d tried to bury, everything that lay deep within like a boulder, broke free, and crumbled from my body into those tears.
For at least five minutes the world didn’t exist… only my sorrow. But as my body drained of tears and emotions, I finally relaxed into a depleted heap. She was alive, and for some reason, she hadn’t wanted me. End of story. Time to move on.
Yet, for another five minutes I merely lay there, too spent to move. I had cried. I had cried for the first time in a long while and for some reason it made me feel better. Yeah, I’d released some emotions, but it was more than that. I felt…human again. No Tin Man here, I apparently still had a heart. I hadn’t become my father.
I took in a deep shuddering breath and stared out the window. The sun looked warm, the day hopeful. For some reason, crying had given me the strength I needed.
I had to save Lewis. It was my fault he was imprisoned. I would never, ever get my childhood back. I would never get the parents I wanted. I might not ever see Grandma again. I couldn’t change the past, but I would sure as hell focus on the future.
And my future would be saving Lewis.
I sniffed and sat up, swiping my forearms against my damp cheeks. From outside I could hear the soft buzz of the city; cars rolling up and down the roads, tourists strolling the square and chatting excitedly about their day. A sparrow landed on my windowsill. He fluffed his feathers, turning his head this way and that, then noticing me, took flight. The world went on…always, and so would I.