The Meridian Gamble (46 page)

“You’re still Luminos on some
level. Becoming a vampire didn’t change that for me. I still came back. I still
remember,” I say. “Does it feel strange? Not being a part of them?”

Adam looks away and shakes his
head.

“I don't regret anything. The
Luminos will never win this war, Meri. I’ve picked the right side of the
battle. And after all I’ve done, I could never go back to them, anyway. But I don’t
care about this silly war. I’m only here for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I didn’t want to influence
your memories. I wanted them to come back to you naturally, so you could trust
what you saw.”

It’s so strange, all the
experiences I’ve reabsorbed from my past. It’s hard to believe they’re even
real.

“Adam, we’ve been passing each
other up in all these lives. You didn’t even know how I felt about you until …
what happened between you and Caroline.”

“I think I knew, on some level. And
I felt the attraction too, although I didn’t say it. But it wasn’t until
Caroline gave herself to me, that you gave yourself to me, that I truly
understood. And that’s when I fell in love with you in return.”

He smiles sweetly, and I can see
he’s recalling memories of his own, ones he shared with a part of me that I
never even knew existed.

“That’s … so bizarre,” I say. “What
was that like? To carry her around?”

He gives a small laugh.

“She was so you. She appeared to me
only infrequently, and at odd times. But it was enough for her to tell me her
story, of how she felt. And to help me, upon occasion. It killed me, to think
that I destroyed her life, that I threw away a chance for us to be together.
But when the visions stopped, that’s when I suspected you were coming back, as
she told me you would. And I knew we would have another chance,” he says. “Do
you remember any of it? Are you even conscious of appearing to me?”

“No, not at all,” I say.

“Interesting. We’ve always wondered
how much of a person’s spirit we absorb. If it traps them in limbo, or if
they’re simply connected to us from wherever it is that they go.”

“I wasn’t in limbo, I know that. I
was in some other place. But somehow, I think I’ll always be connected to you,
no matter where I am.”

I think about telling Adam about
the realm in the clouds. I’m certain that’s where I was. But I hesitate. I’m
not ready to reveal that secret just yet, and there’s too much else going on.

“And what happened to Roland?” I
ask.

“He hasn’t been with our family for
a while. He’s off visiting vampire clans overseas, playing some complicated
political game. And no doubt looking for you, too,” Adam says. “Needless to
say, we don’t speak very much. He blamed me for Caroline’s death. Rightly so.
And he’ll never forgive me for consuming her. It was the ultimate sin, but it
was worth it.

He reaches out, and strokes my
face, lovingly.

So Roland still looks for me. I
would have thought he would hate me, for my betrayal. And I still wonder what
he meant, when he sat in the garden with Caroline and told her that others were
searching for Saga. Adam wasn’t then, at least that I know of. I hadn’t yet
confessed my feelings for him. And I wonder if anyone else is looking for me
now.

My eyes finally fix on a clock on
Adam’s dresser. It’s 8 o’clock, and I think of Roy Thompson again. He’s doing
yearly reviews this week, pulling the mail boys into his office one by one,
telling them whether or not they’ll be getting a raise. As insignificant as I
am to the company, I know he’ll pop a gasket if I’m not there to back him up.

I force myself to get out of the
bed and stand.

“Listen, I should go into the
office, set my foot back in the real world.”

“Don’t leave me, Meridian. I’ve
waited so long to be with you.”

Adam twists just a bit, and the sheet
falls lower, exposing the top of his hip. My knees feel just a bit weak.

“Stay all day and make love with
me.”

Geez, he’s so bloody sexy. The
delicate black hairs that run along his forearm and chest absolutely captivate
me. I thrill at the sensuous curve of the lips that hunger for me. It’s unreal
to think that I’ve caught his interest. But I’m not ready to do it just yet, to
become a vampire crumpet and dispose of my normal life. I have to pull away
from Adam, or I’ll become lost in his embrace forever, whether or not I’m under
the spell of the bite.

“I have to go. I don’t want to lose
my job. Besides, it might be good for me to do something mundane, help
everything I’ve remembered sink in.”

“I understand,” he says with a long
face, not even trying to hide his disappointment. “But can I see you tonight?”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely,” I say, with
a smile. “And I’ll take you up on that making love offer.”

“Good. I’ll call you later.”

I lean over and kiss Adam, and it’s
torture to walk away from his bed. I go to get my things, which have been
neatly set aside for me in a shiny new leather satchel. And he has fresh jeans
and a T-shirt waiting for me to change into.

It’s odd. Adam is the best
boyfriend I’ve ever had, yet he scares me at the same time. He gets up and
slips into jeans of his own, and we walk through the corridors of the vampire
tower, to find the elevator I would never have discovered on my own.

I step into the car that arrives,
and kiss him once more. Letting the doors close on his shirtless form is one of
the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do, because a part of me is
terrified to let him go. Every time I leave him, I’m worried I might not see
Adam again until my next life.

But a girl
can’t live on love alone. Not even vampire love.

Luckily, I’m not too rushed for
time when I get home. I have an hour or so to get ready, to fix my curly locks
so I don’t have “slut hair,” the kind that looks like you’ve just rolled out of
a stranger’s bed. I wash my tresses and blow them out straight, pinning them
back with a clip. I put on something conservative, a blue business suit I wear
to interviews with a crisp white blouse underneath, and some simple jewelry. I
don’t mind if I look like a librarian today. Between Caroline’s life and my
own, I feel like I’ve had more attention from men than I can handle.

When I get to the Quorum, I pass
Roy Thompson in the hall. He comes teetering toward me with the distinctive
gait that he has, the one that makes him look like a little wind-up toy. He
must be slightly bowlegged, but I’ve always been too afraid to ask. Luckily,
when he approaches me, he doesn’t seem too bitchy over my having missed work.

“I’m sorry about calling out
yesterday,” I say.

“That’s all right,” he says. “Your
friend called.”

Roy gives me a small smile as we
pass, and just a hint of a snicker. I guess it amuses him to know that I have a
boyfriend, since I share so little of my personal life with him or any of my
co-workers, other than Staci.

I go to my office and close the
door, and luckily, there aren’t too many messages waiting for me on the phone.
But unfortunately, there is a pile of bills I need to face, or our shipping
account will be shut down. And as I dig into them, my mind can’t help but to
drift back to thoughts of Adam … and Roland.

My former lover. My former vampire
lover. The one I didn’t even know I had. Just the idea of it boggles my mind.

My romantic life had been such a
dry well as of late, and now I suddenly have two men fighting for my
affections, even though I haven’t even met one of them in this life. But thanks
to Caroline and her own trip into the past, I vividly remember Roland’s touch,
his stunning skillfulness in bed. And even though he could be cruel and
manipulative, I know he loved me deeply in his own way. And I feel guilty for
having betrayed him.

Somewhere around noon, I sneak down
to the coffee cart in the lobby for an extra latte to help me recover from the
mini-coma I’ve been in, and when I get back to my desk the phone rings. I can
see from the screen that it’s Staci, and I let it go to voicemail. I don’t have
the energy to talk to her just yet. It rings again a few minutes later, a
number with “Blocked Caller” as its identification, and it doesn’t take much
for me to guess that it’s Adam. I quickly pick up.

“Hello?”

“Meridian.” It’s the one word he
says, as a greeting, and I get the feeling he enjoys rolling it around on his
tongue, the newness of it after carrying around Caroline and Saga’s names with
him for so long.

“Adam,” I say, in my best gravelly,
mock vampire voice.

“I miss you already.”

“I miss you, too. I was a fool. I
should have stayed.”

“You can always come back.”

“Hmmm, that’s very tempting. But
I’d better at least finish out the day.”

It’s almost like having the Devil
call you, to hear this supernatural being on the other end of the line, one who
has killed countless people and performed acts of evil. Yet, his masculine tone
is so sexual, irresistible. And it’s wrong, but it excites me to know he’s done
so much of it for me. He’s like a Faustian bargain incarnated, a promise of
love and passion you’ll pay any price for. That you might regret.

“How are you feeling?”

“Still a bit hazy. But the coffee
helps. At least that’s what I tell myself to justify slugging down an extra
cup.”

“And have the memories continued?”

“Not too much. But I’m sure they
will. It still freaks me out to think I’ve been chasing after you all this
time.”

“Well, you’ve caught me now. And I
intend to relish every second we’re together.”

It feels like the moments we have
with each other are ones we steal, against all odds. And I wonder how long
we’ll be able to keep it up. How long will it be before I make a mistake, and
the other vampires catch on to me? Will I be able to convince them I’m not
Luminos? Or Saga? And how long will it be before they take action?

“Listen, we’re having a movie night
tonight. They’re screening a silly romantic comedy, starring Cameron Diaz.
Would you like to come over?”

It’s hard not to laugh as he says
this. I can’t quite get over the vampires’ tastes, that they see Broadway
musicals and movies. And romantic comedies, of all things.

“Really? A Rom Com? With Cameron
Diaz? Are you kidding me?”

“What can I say? Marion loves
comedies, especially the silly romantic ones. I think on a certain level she’s
fascinated by the foibles of human behavior, even though she should be above it
all by now.”

“Or maybe she’s just another girl
with a broken heart.”

“Hmmm. That might be true, too. But
if you come to the movie tonight, we’ll have the chance to talk after. Or not
talk. Plus, our theatre has a great concession stand. And it’s all free.”

“Well, I do love Jujubees.”

“Really?”

“No. No one loves them. They’re
disgusting. But I’ll be there.”

“Great. Come by around eight, and
I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“It’s a date.”

And I get a tingle of excitement
just saying those words.

Staci calls again, and I pick up
this time. I realize that I need some simple human companionship, to make my
life feel normal once more.

“Hey, pal. Want to go to have lunch
at that fun vegan place everyone’s talking about, Whole Earth Cafe? My doctor
just put me on this new med. It’s actually for diabetes, but he says it will
get my metabolism under control. And it seems like now is the perfect time to
make that healthy eating push I’ve been talking about, to help with the weight
loss.”

I’m not the biggest fan of vegan
restaurants, but if I’m going to be eating junk food in the vampires’ nest
tonight, it won’t hurt to have something with vegetables for lunch. Maybe I’ll
provide them a more nutritious treat.

“That sounds great.”

“And you can fill me in on all the
juicy details of your new romance.”

“Then make sure you don’t have any
meetings planned for this afternoon. Because it’s going to be an epic lunch.”

By one o’clock, we’re at the Whole
Earth Cafe, which is a pretty cute place. I haven’t been here before, but now
I’m regretting not coming by sooner. It’s got lots of chunky wooden tables that
match the dark wood of the floors, ceiling fans and lots of big potted plants.
There are expansive chalkboards behind the counter where the menu is scrawled
in bright colors by someone with great writing. And the place must be popular,
too, because I see a few of the drones from Creative Quorum here. Val Cornelius
is at a corner table, shoveling salad down her face, and I’m hoping she’s too
self-absorbed to notice us. If she sees me, she’ll probably call me over to
bitch about some petty problem, that the janitors aren’t emptying her trash
fast enough.

I get a meatball sub that’s made
from some sort of tempeh substance, and it’s absolutely delicious. The bread is
crispy and yummy, not some gross whole-grain concoction, and there are little
hints of bell pepper and pesto in the sauce. It tastes better than a normal
sandwich would, and the sweet potato fries they serve on the side help to make
it all the more scrumptious. Staci gets some sort of brown rice bowl with
vegetables, but I don’t think she’s crazy about the dish. She’s only picking at
it, and spends more time talking about catty work stuff, bragging about her adventures
in the Creative division.

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you about
the Mocha Bliss account? I’m going to be working on the campaign with Corinna
Mannheim, and I’m so excited about it. She has so many contacts at Drexler
Wexler. I’m hoping I can use it as an excuse to see Darcy again.”

“Do you know Jennifer’s Eve? The
clothing designer?” I say, interrupting her.

“Of course. I have one of her
skirts.”

“Well, I met her at Adam’s last
night. Err, I mean the night before.”