The Meridian Gamble (44 page)

I dread going to sleep, for fear
that I will fall deeply into Saga’s life. I worry what I will see in it, the
horrible things I have done. I am afraid that I may sink so far into her world,
I will never come out of it. Or at the very least, that I will sleep through my
meeting with the Luminos.

When I finally drift into slumber,
my worries are for naught, as I only visit her world briefly. In my dream, we
are standing on a battlefield, Marion, Roland and I. We inspect the damage from
one of our skirmishes, an early attack on Adam’s lands. And eventually, Marion
goes off to confer with one of our lieutenants. It is the man with the short
hair, the one who mistrusted me at our grand feast, and later led the applause
when I said I would help them hunt the Luminos. Which I have more than done.

And I wonder if he and Marion are
lovers, who are sneaking off for a dalliance. I try to listen for the sounds of
their passion with my newfound vampire hearing. But instead, as I stand with
Roland, I see something far in the distance.

Even though it is the dead of
night, I can still spot them, three small figures walking toward us across the
arid desert sands. And I instantly know who they are.

Roland turns to me and smiles.

“Do not be afraid. It is the
Elders. They only appear to us at times of great importance. This is a good
sign, indeed.”

But I am afraid, because I’ve
fought them before. Adam’s killers. And I’m worried that they know who I am,
even though it was another lifetime, long ago. And for a moment, I’m worried
that they’ve come to seek retribution. But perhaps they don’t recognize me,
even with their advanced powers, and I think it best to say nothing for a
moment.

As they approach, I can see
something strange coming from their bodies in waves, the way heat rises from
the sands on a hot day. I can almost feel it, a kind of supernatural power that
emanates from them. And I’m grateful that Roland goes off to meet them, leaving
me behind.

I don’t even want to look at the
Elders, but I cannot help myself, and I notice they wear simple clothes, not
the ragged leather hides they wore in the caves. And my mental abilities have
improved now that I am a vampire. I am no longer capable of only sensing when
one tries to pry into my mind, I can seem to sense their thoughts, too, though
it’s more strong with the humans. And right now, I can feel waves of hostility
coming off the red-haired woman, which tells me they know who I am. I tense for
an attack that never comes.

Instead, they talk about something
with Roland in tones so low I can’t hear them, even with my sharp ears. But I
can see their lips moving. The bald one utters a few words, and from off in the
distance, I see him turn to look at me. From the wicked way he smiles, I almost
feel that he wants me to hear him, too.

For a moment, his voice raises just
enough for my ears to pick up a phrase.

“She will lead us …”

And a small jolt of fear goes
through my body, because it’s me they’re talking about, I just know it.

The Elders
walk away, as quickly as they had appeared. And Roland comes back to me,
smiling. He kisses me, and though it’s sweet, in my cold vampire heart, I can
feel a sense of impending doom.

When I wake in the morning, Saga’s
sense of dread over the elder vampires’ visit still hangs over me. It lingers
so strongly, it once again takes several moments for me to remember which
reality I am living in.

And I begin to recall some of
Roland’s words from the day before. That I am important, and that others are
looking for me. In the dream, he said that the Elders only appear at
significant moments in time. And I recall that they were at the horrible party
where Roland’s father died. And I cannot help but to feel that perhaps they
were there for me.

For some reason, I’m convinced that
they want something from me. “To lead them …” were the ugly one’s words. But
they confuse me, because I cannot see how I could lead anything, if that’s what
he meant at all.

I go down to breakfast, and as we
are eating our meal, Cecily enters the room with a card. She quietly sets it at
my side and leaves, giving me a quick, knowing glance as she exits. I open it,
though I don’t need to look at it to know what it says. Yet, I must perform my
part in this drama.

The envelope is on a fine cream
paper, and the inside of the card is printed. It looks like an invitation for
an event, with Madame LaForge’s signature below the words.

I clear my throat, and make an
announcement to the table.

“Mother, Madame LaForge has
received a new shipment of wedding gowns to the shop. May we go see them
today?”

Mother looks up at me and smiles,
offering surprisingly little resistance.

“Of course.
Today will be the perfect day to shop for your wedding dress.”

We get into our carriage, and
though I am eager to reach Henriette’s, to meet my fate, Mother has made a
promise to the Twins. They have been especially good this week, and on our way
to the store, we stop off at a candy shoppe they particularly enjoy to reward
them.

The store is a large, noisy place,
one of the biggest in all of London, full of large glass containers brimming
with brightly colored treats. And as the girls run about the shoppe begging for
sweets from Mother, Marjorie and Madeline sip some of the store’s flavored
drinks at a table.

Though I, too, normally enjoy
sweets, I walk around in a daze instead, feeling overcome with nervous energy
over thoughts of my meeting. I look at the candy without really seeing it, but
slowly begin to sense something, eyes that are on me. I look up, and am shocked
to find Adam standing across from me, smiling.

I stop for a moment, and try to
contain my emotions, so that I do not reveal myself, and all that I remember of
the past.

He bears that same grin of
self-confidence that I have seen before. And normally, I would have found his
fascination with me unnerving. But now, I know the truth. We have a past
connection, and I wonder if something about me is triggering his memories of
Saga. Or perhaps he can somehow sense the fact that I am Luminos, from his own
connection to that group.

And as much as I want to speak with
him, it is perhaps best that I try to resist the deep urge, with what I have
planned for the day. It will be best for the us both.

“Adam. How nice to see you,” I say.
“But I’m afraid I cannot be spied in conversation with you. It is improper for
a woman who is engaged to fraternize with other men.”

“Even when he is the brother of
your fiancée?”

“Especially when he is my fiancée’s
brother. Because he should know better.”

“You’re forgetting. If anyone so
much as noticed us, I would be able to tell.”

Adam taps his forehead, and smiles.
And indeed, even though the store is large and quite busy, no one seems to care
that we are conversing over the large jars filled with candy, not even my
sisters. And it must be Adam’s doing, at least in part.

“Ah, yes. You have your mysterious
powers.”

“The ones that don’t seem to work
on you. Which is odd, to say the least.”

My young sister Hope is at the
other end of the shoppe, picking out gum balls, and I wonder if it is safe for
her, as they are enemies. But he doesn’t seem interested in her, and I take
comfort in the fact that she is most likely too young for him to have noticed
anything strange. I am the one Adam seems intrigued with, and I turn to him
once more.

“Tell me something, are you
following me because you think I am Luminos?”

I curse myself for saying the
words, from the moment they pass through my lips. But there is something about
his smug nature that makes me want to challenge him. And Adam does seem shocked
for a moment, though he quickly recovers.

“So, Roland told you about the
Luminos?”

“Of course. Roland loves me dearly.
He has told me many things,” I say. “May I ask, do you really hate them that
much?”

“I don’t hate them,” Adam says. “It
is simply a matter of necessity, that we hunt them. They are our foes.”

“None of them? There is not even
one of the Luminos you despise? Perhaps one who has wronged you in the past?”

And he smiles, no doubt wondering
what I am hinting at.

“Hate is a strong emotion,” Adam
says. “It changes over time.”

“And if I was one of the Luminos,
would you strike me down? Would you torture me, to find out my secrets?”

“No,” Adam says, slowly. “I would
not need to do that, because you are not. Roland would know by now if you were
Luminos. With a love as strong as yours, it would be a difficult secret to
keep. And it would be one he would be very desperate to hide.”

I’m wondering if Adam is telling me
he knows, or warning me that he does. His green eyes dart back and forth,
analyzing me. And I’m guessing that in this moment, he wishes he could plunder
my mind with his vampire powers, though he doesn’t bother to try. I cannot feel
the invasive pain in my mind that seems to indicate one of their mental
attacks.

And as I stare at Adam, I flash back
to an image of him in the past, when he had long braided hair and darker skin.
And my heart fills with sadness, that I cannot tell him the truth. Even worse,
it fills with feelings of love, that the young cave girl felt. Or perhaps I
must take responsibility for my emotions, and not force her to carry the weight
of them anymore. It is something I feel for Adam, when I look at him, and I
realize I cannot pretend it doesn’t exist, as Saga tried in her own past.

“Tell me something,” I say. “If I
am to be transformed, then I must know. Are you happy with this vampire life?”

Adam winces as he hears my
question.

“It is a kind of happiness,” he
says. “But at least with this life, I have an eternity to find what true
contentment is.”

And it kills me, to think that he
is not truly happy. But at least Adam is alive, he seems to have embraced his
vampire life. So perhaps I did not do the wrong thing to him. At least I can
take some small comfort in that knowledge.

“Thank you again, for helping me
the other night. I greatly appreciate your gentlemanly actions,” I say. “It has
been a pleasure speaking with you.”

And he seems to realize that I have
finished with our banter. Adam smiles and nods gently, and I turn and walk
away, not even wanting to hear his clever response.

I walk over to Mother and my
sisters, who sit at a table near the window.

“May we leave, Mother? I am eager
to see the beautiful wedding gowns at Henriette’s.”

“Of course,” Mother says.

“Was that Adam?” Marjorie says.

“Yes, it was. I believe he was buying
some treats for Marion. No doubt she has a constant appetite for sweets.”

We leave, and enter the family
carriage once more. And it is a short ride to the boutique.

Our driver parks in front of
Henriette’s, and I scan the street as we step onto the sidewalk, half-expecting
that vampire assassins will be lurking about, waiting for us. I look for signs
of the Luminos, the glowing aura around a person that tells me they are one of
my people, but I see nothing as the usual array of Londoners pass us by.

We enter the shop and sit, and
Madame LaForge comes out to greet us. Her hair is just a bit more red than
usual, and I wonder for the first time if she is wearing a wig, to help mask
her identity. Her coif is piled high, and tucked under a small hat. She looks
ridiculous, stuffed into her dress too tightly, like a character from a story.
But her smile is charming, and she treats Mother as if she is a queen.

“Madame Caldwell, it is such a
pleasure to see you, again. I have the most lovely fashions to show you, fresh
from Paris.”

“Your fashions are always just in
from Paris,” Marjorie says, somewhat sarcastically. “Are they shipped that
frequently?”

“But, of course! I have a
sophisticated clientele who will not be pleased with just anything,” the woman
says in shock. “Clotilde?”

She calls out to one of the young
shop girls in her employ, who brings out tea for my sisters and Mother. And
Madame LaForge begins displaying dresses for our perusal, hoping to impress us.

The woman barely acknowledges me,
and I find it almost strange. I begin to wonder if Cecily had it right, that I
was supposed to come here on this day to meet the Luminos. I stare out the
window again, wondering if I will see someone outside, watching for me.

And after she has paraded several
of her latest fashions in front of us, Madame LaForge finally turns my way.

“And now I have something
especially for you, my dear. The most elegant wedding dress you could possibly
imagine, designed especially for a lovely young girl like yourself, by Claude
Durand.”

“Designed by Monsieur Durand?”
Mother says.

He is the latest sensation to come
from France, one who all of Mother’s friends speak of.

“But, of course! Did I not say my
fashions are the best Paris has to offer?”

Her assistant, Clotilde, brings the
dress out, and I am sure it must be stunning, but I am too nervous to look at
it closely. All I see are piles of silky white fabric. But Mother and Marjorie
seem to coo over it in delight.

“This is very lovely. Caroline,
what do you think?”

“I would like to try the dress on,”
I say, just a bit too loudly. And I hope that the others do not notice the way
my voice trembles.

“But, of course,” Madame LaForge
says, with enthusiasm.

“Perhaps it would be better if we
have Madame LaForge hold the dress aside, while we look at a few others first.”

“I am quite sure that this is the
dress I will be wearing,” I say.

“Excellent,” Mother replies. “Then
have it sent to our house for a fitting.”