The Masters of Falcon's Fantasies [BDSM Menage Fantasies 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (29 page)

“Yes and no.” Decker sighed. “We tried twice to add another slave to our household. It’s a big adjustment, though, and neither one lasted more than a few weeks.”

“What happened?” Finn asked.

“It’s not easy finding someone who’s compatible with both people in a relationship,” Decker said, sighing. “With the second one, we all wanted it to work very badly. But she had different goals than Sharon and I did
,
and we couldn’t reconcile our lifestyles. It was a shame.”

There was silence for a little while after that, while Decker stared at the ocean and relived the painful experience of Jenna leaving. He’d toyed briefly with the idea of seeking her out at different times in the last year, but now he saw that it still wouldn’t work. She hadn’t been any more right for him alone than she’d been for him and Sharon. He couldn’t picture himself with her the way he could Daphne—

Decker watched Finn and Daphne, each lost in their own thoughts. Daphne was pointedly not looking at him, obviously trying not to push Finn into making a commitment. It wasn’t an easy situation, he knew. If one person really wanted to be polyamorous, and the other really didn’t, there were bound to be conflicts. Especially when one of the people had as many opportunities as Daphne did. She could probably snap her fingers and have five guys waiting in line for a chance with her. Finn knew that. He’d be an idiot if he didn’t. So he would probably give it a try, and either be miserably jealous most of the time, or they would finally learn to communicate and he would find that polyamory was a viable lifestyle for him
,
too. There was just no way to tell in advance. The one thing Decker couldn’t allow himself to do was to push Finn into it before he was ready. He also didn’t want to be the intruder who made Finn miserable. He’d just have to wait and see what happened.

Finally Finn sighed and said, “Give me a little time to think about it, okay?”

Daphne brought his hand to her face and kissed the palm. “Of course, sweetheart,” she said softly. “I don’t want to rush you, and I’m sure Decker doesn’t either.”

Decker tried not to groan. This back-and-forth shit was going to going to drive him over a cliff, he thought. Maybe there was a handy one nearby Allie’s place.

Finn nodded. “It’s weird. I want to be okay with it, but there’s a part of me that just freaks out whenever I imagine—”

“Perfectly understandable,” Decker said. “It makes all kinds of logical sense
,
but you just can’t predict how you’re going to react to it when it actually happens. You need to be ready.”

They sat together in silence for a while. Daphne seemed subdued and serious, even when she got up and waded barefoot in the surf. Finn took off his shoes and went with her, but Decker stayed where he was, watching their things and giving them time to be together. It was important for Finn to know that he wasn’t just going to be pushed out of the way.

After about an hour, they packed up their picnic and headed back to Clifftop Fantasies. Finn was thoughtfully quiet the whole way
,
and Daphne made desultory comments about the beauty of the scenery, but it wasn’t the same companionable threesome that had started out to celebrate Daphne’s triumph and their first scene together.

* * * *

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity. Finn was either on the phone or the computer when he wasn’t helping Daphne work out her choreography or the nuances of the new song.

And he was too tired most nights for sex. That was the worst part. Daphne started sleeping in her own room again. There was just no point. He would send her to bed at midnight, insisting that she get enough sleep, but he stayed up until at least two working on arrangements. Daphne had been starting to sleep much better, but now she had long fits of restlessness again, when her mind spent hours going over and over her routine. She was determined to make this video as good as it could possibly be, and that meant absolute perfection on the steps. She wore herself out practicing whenever Finn didn’t need her for some arrangement or costume design meeting or promotional thing. It was like starting the whole video all over again.

She was watching the YouTube video yet again on Wednesday when Decker came in and sat down next to her, peering at the computer screen.

“You’re already a viral phenomenon,” he said, nudging her shoulder. “You really don’t need to watch it nonstop to boost your views.”

Daphne gave him a brief smile before going back to the notes she was taking. “I’m trying to duplicate the steps,” she said, scribbling something.

He squinted at her notebook and shook his head. “I don’t know how you’re going to make any sense out of that later. And you really don’t need to worry. You were exquisite that night
,
and you’ll be exquisite again. Just relax and let the music take you the way it did that night.”

He sat silently until the video was done and she finished what she was writing. “I came to talk to you.”

“Oh?” Daphne forced her attention off the sequence she’d been thinking about and turned to him.

“I’m leaving tomorrow for a few days. I have a job interview on Monday and I need to get my papers in order.”

“A job interview?” Daphne was confused. “Why do you need a job?”

He laughed. “We can’t all be rock stars, babe. Some of us have to work in the mundane world for a living. And I’ve been idle for far too long. I have you to thank that I’m finally getting back into the world.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” He put a hand on hers. “Even though it seems that the time isn’t right for us to be together, being around you, Finn
,
and the rest these past few weeks have really shown me that it’s not right to withdraw from my life just because Sharon’s gone.” A flash of pain went across his face
,
and Daphne felt tears sting her eyes.

“Your energy and the intensity that you bring to everything you do has really inspired me to get back into the community. I’ve wallowed in self-indulgence and pity for too long.”

“Are you sure? You shouldn’t force yourself if you’re not ready.” Daphne knew she wasn’t saying the right things. She should be encouraging him to do what he needed to do. It probably wasn’t good for him to hide away. But all she could think was that she didn’t want him to leave. If he left, she was positive that the stability she’d finally managed to achieve would go with him. Even though Finn still wouldn’t continue their discussion about becoming polyamorous, just knowing that Decker was around gave her a feeling that her life had a base, a platform that held everything else up. She didn’t know if Finn would
ever
come around, but if Decker left
,
there wouldn’t be any point to hoping. He would be gone
,
and she knew she’d never see him again. It was too much.

The tears were filling her eyes now, threatening to spill over. She hoped desperately that Decker wouldn’t notice them, but he reached up and wiped one away just as it began making its way down her cheek.

“What’s the matter, kiddo?”

To her extreme mortification, Daphne burst into sobs. Decker pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her while she cried into the handkerchief he’d pulled out of his back pocket. After a few minutes, during which Daphne was sure she was going to die of embarrassment, her emotional outburst subsided
,
and she pulled reluctantly away.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, wiping her eyes on the handkerchief—
R
eally? Who carried handkerchiefs?
—and pretended that she was okay. “I think I’m just tired. I didn’t mean to leak all over your shirt.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He waved away the hanky that she was tentatively offering him. “Keep it. But tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t know.” She began sniffling dangerously again and concentrated on getting her emotions back under control. She just couldn’t go around disintegrating like that.

His frown suggested that her evasion was not an acceptable answer. She sighed, wishing Finn were here. He needed to know how she felt, but he only got defensive when she tried to bring it up. “I guess I just hoped things would work out differently. I feel like if you go, I’ll never—”

“Never get the chance to try polyamory?” His voice was gentle, despite the stern look. “Daphne, honey, surely you know you could have as many lovers as you could cram into this house. And then they’d be lined up outside all the way to San Diego if they thought they’d have a chance. You don’t need me here to do poly.”

“Yes, I do. I don’t want to try with anybody else. I want you and Finn.”

Then she was back in Decker’s arms, leaning against his broad chest, although she wasn’t sure how she’d gotten there.

He stroked her hair softly as she nestled against him. “It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to. Remember, it’ll be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

She was silent for a minute trying to work through what Decker had just said, and they sat that way quietly until Finn cleared his throat from the doorway, making them both jump.

“Daphne, I wanted to let you know I’d scheduled a fitting for the costume tomorrow.”

Daphne pulled herself upright again, forcing herself not to look guilty, and stuffed the handkerchief into her pocket. “Okay. How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” Finn looked between the two on the couch, his face registering several different unspoken emotions. Then he finally said, “Is there anything else either of you wants to tell me?”

“Yes.” Decker stood up and held out his hand. “I’m leaving tomorrow. I have business to attend to and a life to pick up.”

“Yeah, so I heard.”

“Oh, well then. Thanks for allowing me the chance to get to know you and Daphne. I’d say good luck with everything, but if there’s one thing the two of you don’t need, it’s luck. You’re on the way to a very successful partnership.”

Finn took his hand slowly, his eyes meeting Daphne’s. “Thanks. Have a safe trip,” he said awkwardly, as if waiting for her to throw herself into Decker’s arms and beg him not to go.

She could tell that he was uncomfortable with what he’d witnessed, but she gave him a defiant stare. He was so busy with other stuff that he couldn’t complain if she was being friendly with Decker.

Maybe that wasn’t entirely fair. But she needed more from him than she was getting, that was for sure. Daphne wondered if that meant that she needed to try harder.

She stood up and hugged Decker. “In case I don’t see you again before you go,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “Thanks for everything.”

The men were silent as she left the room swiftly, tears cascading down her cheeks.

Finn had expected to feel better once Decker left. He told himself he wouldn’t need to worry about Daphne comparing them anymore. He’d heard it from her own lips when she hadn’t known he was there. “I want you and Finn.” It was stupid, but he couldn’t help his feelings. Now she would get back to work, and they would be able to concentrate on their own relationship.

Only, somehow, they couldn’t. They were both extremely busy getting the new song ready, but they’d been busy before. He didn’t think it was that. They’d begun snapping at each other over stupid little things. Daphne had stopped getting up early to help Allie make breakfast, which was both good and bad. The activity had seemed to ground her somehow, but she was getting more sleep now, or at least he hoped so.

Surprisingly, she started watching Karl whenever he was around, as if she thought that he might be a replacement for Decker. That couldn’t be a good sign. Finn tried being more dominant with her, but he knew it wasn’t particularly successful. He could do the affectionate part, when he wasn’t distracted by some crisis or other, but Daphne always seemed to think he was being an asshole when he gave her orders. He just couldn’t seem to get it right. He also couldn’t figure out how Decker and Karl managed to stay unquestionably in charge without pissing everyone else off. It was like magic somehow.

“Okay, that’s good for now,” Finn said on Friday afternoon. They’d been filming the dance segments for two days
,
and he was pretty sure that part was close to being done. The musicians had been working on the instrumental pieces
,
and everybody seemed satisfied with how the song had come together. “Monday morning we’ll get the band in the studio to lay down the tracks and get the vocals done. By the time the concert comes up next weekend, it should be ready.”

“What if we don’t want to be in the studio on Monday morning?” Blaze sat leaning back in a chair, his feet propped up against Karl’s desk.

Finn shrugged. “Fine by me. I can find another guitar player without too much trouble.”

Blaze scowled. “You wouldn’t. I’m the brains and the talent of this band
,
and everybody knows it.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and began shaking it to extract one.

“Take it outside,” Finn said automatically. Really, it was like dealing with a fucking adolescent. “And if you’re the brains here, we’re all in trouble.”

Daphne’s eyes narrowed, although Finn wasn’t sure exactly who or what she was pissed about. “Cut it out, both of you. And Finn, are we staying here next week?”