The Masters of Falcon's Fantasies [BDSM Menage Fantasies 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (24 page)

“Of course not.” Daphne was staring at her. “But it’s just one day. I’ve been working hard—”

“What if he leaves you because of this one day? Could you build your career by yourself?”

Daphne stared at her for a moment. It was hard to tell what was going through her mind, but then she put the menu to the side with a sigh.

“I didn’t mean that you couldn’t take the time for breakfast,” Allie protested.

Daphne put sweetener in her coffee with a solemn face. “No, but you’re right. I agreed to finish the project this week. We’re really close. I think part of me doesn’t want it to end. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us when it’s over.”

“What do you mean?”

Daphne was still frowning, and she spoke slowly, as if it was the first time she had actually tried to put her feelings into words. “Well, we agreed to try the D/s stuff mostly for the sake of the project, you know? Once it’s over, there won’t be any need for him to set my schedule, or care about where I go or how much I party. He might even quit. I just don’t know. But it’s getting really close, and I’m kind of scared.”

Allie relaxed. This she understood. “Daphne, he’s not going to leave you when the project is over. He wants a relationship with you. He loves you. Can’t you see that?”

Daphne shot her an anguished glance. “But what if I can’t handle it?”

Allie was confused. “What do you mean?”

Daphne stared into the distance, her hands tight around her coffee cup. Finally she took a sip with the air of having come to a decision. “I didn’t handle it so well last time.”

Allie also took a drink, waiting to see if Daphne was going to talk more about it. She briefly debated whether or not she should ask but settled for giving Daphne more time.

“I’m sure you’ll be okay. You’ve got a better relationship now,” she finally said, a little lamely.

Daphne sighed. “I’m not so sure. Have you ever finished a big project, something that had absorbed all of your energy for months at a time?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Allie answered stiffly. “Perhaps you noticed the B
and
B you’re staying in? It didn’t get into the shape it’s in now all by itself. The guys and I busted our asses for six months getting it the way we wanted it.”

Daphne reached over and covered Allie’s hand with her own. “Oh, I’m sorry, Allie. I didn’t mean to imply anything. It was more of a rhetorical question, I guess. It’s just that I always fall into a depression when a project ends. It’s like I have nothing more to live for, you know? Drinking is the only thing that seems to distract me. Finn tries to help, and of course he’s always planning the next big thing. Somehow, though, I just can’t get excited about what it might be. I know it makes me shallow or maybe shortsigh
t
ed, but it just seems easier to go off with Blaze and party instead of starting something new
.
”

Daphne ducked her head as she was talking, as if she were ashamed of herself. “I’m sorry, Allie. I shouldn’t be dumping this on you. But I don’t have any girlfriends to talk this kind of shit through with.”

Allie became conscious that her lips were pressed together. She probably looked like a disapproving grandmother. Forcing her face into a friendlier expression, she shook her head. “It’s fine. Go ahead and talk about it. I’m not here to judge you.”

Daphne swiped briefly at her eyes. “Thanks. It’s stupid. I don’t even remember most of what happened the last time. There are only hazy memories for about a month. I don’t like the risk with taking drugs, so it’s just a jumble in my head of drinking a lot. I do remember one thing, though. I was driving drunk and crashed my car into a ditch.”

“Oh, shit. Were you hurt?”

“No, just a little banged up. I knew I shouldn’t be driving
,
but I got into a fight with Blaze and had to get away. He just didn’t want to take no for an answer.”

“Did you report him, get him arrested?”

“Not after crashing my car. I couldn’t. I just walked to a 7-
Eleven
and called Finn. He came and got me and talked to the cops the next day. He convinced them that since they couldn’t prove it was me driving to just let him put me in rehab instead of arresting me. It scared the shit out of me
,
and I hated him for a while.”

“I’m sure Finn was only trying to help,” Allie began.

“Oh, yeah. There’s no doubt that it was the right thing to do. It did help, and probably saved my life. Eventually I got over being mad at him
,
and we started this project. It just didn’t seem to last. I keep letting Blaze talk me into partying, and I’m terrified that something like that is going to happen again. It’s so easy to lose my way.”

Allie patted her hand. “You have the power to change that. You’re kind of like one of those kids who’s so smart they get bored by sitting in a classroom, you know? You need more challenge and stimulation in your life than you get. You need someone who will push back when you push him, who can take your energy and mold it into something beautiful and amplify it beyond what you could manage on your own.”

Daphne brushed a hand across her eyes. “But is Finn the person who can do that?”

Allie studied her. “You tell me. What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking—I don’t know. I do know that Finn doesn’t like being the heavy. He does it when he has to, to get the job done, but he hates it. I’m not sure he’s going to be willing to put the kind of effort into our relationship that I’m going to need when there’s no immediate project on the line. I’m wondering if maybe there’s someone who’d be better at that.”

“You mean Decker?”

Daphne turned red
,
and a small smile played at her lips. “He is really good-looking.”

“Yes, I know. But you, especially, shouldn’t go just on that.”

“Why me especially?”

Allie couldn’t tell if Daphne was joking or not. She sighed. “Because you are a gorgeous, sexy, successful rock star. You could have anybody you want. You don’t want just any guy because you could wind up with another asshole like Blaze. That won’t do you any good. Finn meets certain needs for you. You love each other
,
and he brings out the superstar in you that you haven’t managed on your own. But if there are things that Decker can do for you that Finn can’t, say in your personal life, then maybe it would work for you to have Decker
,
too.”

Daphne sighed. “That’s easier said than done.”

“No shit. It takes one hell of a lot of work and commitment. I realize those aren’t your strong suits, but damn, girl. It’s your life. Isn’t it worth some work?”

There was silence.

“Have you even asked Finn about it?”

“Not exactly,” Daphne admitted.

Allie sighed. “What does that mean? Either you have or you haven’t.”

“I haven’t, but what if that makes him leave? You have no idea how long it has taken us to get even what little we have
,
and I’m afraid to risk it.”

“Life is all about risks. If you love him and trust him, then give the man the benefit of the doubt and talk to him. He might surprise you.”

Daphne sat unmoving
,
and they drank their coffee in silence. Allie tried to make other conversation
,
but Daphne’s mind was obviously somewhere else. After about ten minutes it became apparent that Daphne needed time to work this out and that their interlude was over.

Allie
called over the blonde
.
“Thanks, Carly. I think we’ll just stick with coffee this morning. Can I have the tab, please?”

“Coffee’s on the house for you. You know that.” Carly waved a hand at her. “But I tried your trick with the applesauce in the pancakes yesterday. It was a big hit. Thanks for the idea.”

When they got back to the house, Finn was just reading the note. The boys had congregated at the dining room table, looking balefully at the makeshift breakfast.

Daphne snatched the paper from Finn, tore it up
,
and waved a hand at the band members. “Fix yourself some coffee and have appetizers while we make breakfast,” she announced, gesturing to the food on the table. “Don’t go anywhere. After that we have work to do.” She kissed Finn on the cheek and marched into the kitchen, leaving him staring after her.

* * * *

Finn was sitting on the front porch swing on Friday afternoon, basking in a little time off to himself. Daphne was making cookies with Allie
,
and he told himself he was just going to sit and vegetate for an hour or two. The video was finally done, or at least their part of it. They’d worked nonstop for the last three days and stayed in the barn until at least ten o’clock every night, going over the smallest details, making it the best it could possibly be. Daphne had started the week edgy, moody, almost despondent. He’d been terrified he was losing her again. On Wednesday morning, she had left him a note saying, “Allie and I are taking the day off. Don’t wait up,” and he’d thought everything was over. It was so like her old pattern to work like a demon right up until the end of a project and then suddenly announce she was done and walk out. Stunts like that had broken up the other two bands she’d been with. They’d have tours that were going wonderfully. Daphne had been full of energy, fascinating and enthralling audiences across the country. She stayed up nights, drinking and writing while they were on the road. Dozens of songs came out of those months. But then, in the last few weeks, she would walk away from it all. He’d never been able to figure out if she burned herself out, or if she was secretly terrified of the success she was beginning to see. For whatever reason, she would disappear and the band would be forced to refund all of the remaining tickets. She’d developed a reputation, understandably, for unreliability and overuse of alcohol.

He knew she had complete control over the alcohol. She used it as mental stimulation in an effort to expand her perspective. He’d warned her time and again that the risks of her actions far outweighed the benefits, but she’d just smiled at him and said, “Whatever you say, Daddy.”

Something had happened on Wednesday morning, though. He knew exactly where she’d been mentally when she had written that note and left the house with Allie. He could picture her face, a gleeful and defiant smile quirking up the sides of her beautiful mouth as she pulled out of the driveway, headed for oblivion. Not that she’d meant to kill herself, but she would have to run away. She just couldn’t allow her career to be a success.

Then something had happened. Maybe Allie had talked her out of it. She’d returned to the house, made breakfast, and then dr
a
g
ged
him out to the barn to get to work.

And work they had. She’d thrown every ounce of her energy into those next two days, and by the end of it, they had a product that all of them could be really proud of.

Except maybe for Blaze. He had been there, and he had done his part, but he’d refused to talk to anybody. He grumbled to himself and passed around joints to anyone who paused long enough for him to make eye contact. Every chance he got, he tried to get Daphne by herself in a corner or outside. Finn watched her avoid him, politely decline his offer of a ride or a drink, and finally push him away, telling him in no uncertain terms to leave her alone.

Decker had taken to hanging out around the barn during the day and sitting outside on the back porch at night. Finn had a feeling that he was watching for Blaze to start trouble.

As if conjured by his thoughts, Decker opened the door and joined him on the porch. He carried a book but didn’t bother to open it. Instead he sat down in a chair near the swing and squinted at Finn.

“So that’s it? You’re done here?”

Finn smiled. “Yup. I’m sending off our footage this weekend. It’ll be awhile before the album is done, of course. We’ve still got a little more studio time to put in
,
and there’s another song that Daphne’s been working on. She really wants to include it
,
but it just isn’t coming together for her. Maybe this weekend she can nail it down.”

“Speaking of this weekend.” Decker leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “I want to do something special tomorrow night, but I need your help. Can you come with me to get it set up?”

* * * *

It really felt weird to be sitting watching television after the last few days of intense work they had been putting in on the video, Daphne thought. She snuggled closer to Finn’s legs and once more smiled at the turn in their relationship. She suspected Decker was coaching Finn
,
but she didn’t care. She hoped it would all work into the poly thing she knew Allie had. She wasn’t sure how to get there
,
but the progress that she and Finn were making couldn’t hurt.

She sighed happily, pushing her head harder into Finn
’
s fingers as they played with her hair. She was surprised at how much she enjoyed the simple touching she and Finn had been sharing lately. She jumped a little when he bent down and whispered in her ear, “Wanna go upstairs?”