The Man She Should Have Married (9 page)

“Good.”

“But, Matt, I won't be home until after midnight.”

“No problem. I'll enjoy having Thea to myself. We'll have fun. She likes pizza, doesn't she?”

“She
loves
pizza. No meat, but lots of cheese.”

“A girl after my own heart.”

“Don't forget, you'll have the kitten, too. And the litter box.”

“Not a big deal. Remember, you're talking to a criminal prosecutor.”

“Thea will want the kitten to sleep with her.”

“Is that all right with you?”

He could hear her resigned sigh. “I guess.”

“So we're good?”

She finally agreed, saying, “I'll write some instructions and put them on the counter in the kitchen. And I'll leave a key for you out back. I'll put that in Thea's little red bucket. In her sandbox.”

Matt smiled. He'd like to see the burglar who could figure
that
one out. “Good. We're all set.”

Her voice softened. “I'll owe you one, Matt.”

He waited a heartbeat, then answered just as softly, “I've told you before that I'd do anything for you, Liv. You
and
Thea. Don't you believe me?”

For a moment, he didn't think she was going to answer. Then, in a whisper so soft, he nearly missed it, she said, “Yes, I believe you.”

And then she disconnected the call.

* * *

She shouldn't have agreed to let Matt pick up Thea. What was wrong with her that she couldn't stick to her decisions? She knew there was no future for her and Matt. She knew it was best she distance herself from him. Yet at the first small problem, what did she do? Like a drowning woman, she latched on to Matt as if he were the only life preserver around. She was hopeless.

What she should do, like it or not, was quit her job and stay home and be Vivienne's version of a proper mother to Thea. If she'd done that in the beginning, and not gone back to work until Thea started school, she wouldn't have to worry about Vivienne and her accusations. In fact, Vivienne wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Even if Olivia didn't quit entirely, she could stop filling in for the afternoon shift when they were shorthanded. So what if she got paid extra when she did so? It wasn't as if she was financially destitute. She had Mark's insurance money, after all. Yes, she wanted to keep it intact for Thea's education and more, but if she had to use some of it to ensure Thea had a stable, happy childhood, it wouldn't be the end of the world, would it?

Around and around Olivia's thoughts went after her conversation with Matt. Several times, she almost called him back to say she'd changed her mind and wouldn't need his help, after all.

But then Eve called, and after they talked, she felt better. She always felt better when she talked to Eve, who seemed able to put things into perspective when Olivia was looking at them too emotionally. By the time they ended their conversation, Olivia had settled down and decided to let things stand the way they were.

But tonight, when she saw Matt again, she needed to make sure he understood their relationship couldn't be a romantic one. She had to be strong, no matter how much she wished circumstances were different.

Because if she
wasn't
strong, if she yielded to her loneliness and the growing desire between them, she was just asking for more heartache.

* * *

The first thing Olivia saw when she walked into the kitchen after work that night was the gorgeous vase of flowers sitting in the center of the kitchen table. For a moment, she thought they were from Matt, but then he entered the kitchen and said, “I brought them in from your front stoop. I guess the florist thought it was okay to leave them there.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Olivia frowned. Who on earth had sent them? And why? It wasn't her birthday...or any other kind of holiday. She eyed the card.

“Go ahead,” Matt said, giving her a crooked smile. “Read the card.”

Olivia hesitated the briefest of seconds. She wished Matt wasn't standing there. His presence made her feel self-conscious. She wished she could casually say,
Oh, the flowers can wait, how'd things go with Thea?
Yet she couldn't. So with an inward, resigned sigh, she reached for the envelope containing the card.

It wasn't sealed. Had Matt already read it? Her heart picked up speed. No, he wouldn't do that. He was too much of a straight arrow. He would never violate her privacy.

She opened the card.

Don't let Friday's events upset you. We will prevail.

Austin

Looking up from the card, her eyes met Matt's. She swallowed, putting the card back in its envelope. Now her heart was beating hard.

“The flowers are from Austin Crenshaw, aren't they?” he said.

She nodded.

“See? I knew he viewed you as more than a client.”

“He...he's just trying to make me feel better. Not worry.” Why was she sounding so apologetic? She hadn't done anything wrong.

“I'm sure he is.”

“It... The flowers don't mean anything.” Oh, why had she said
that
? She was an idiot. She never knew when to be quiet. Her heart sped up as their gazes locked. Why did Matt have to look so sexy standing there? He still wore his work clothes, but he was barefoot and he'd taken off his tie and rolled up his shirtsleeves.

“We both know that's not true, Olivia.”

Because she was so flustered, but mainly because her wildly conflicting emotions and lack of willpower where Matt was concerned frightened her, she went on the defensive. “Why are we even discussing this, Matt? It's not important. They're just flowers. Here. You can read the card. It's perfectly professional.” She thrust the card into Matt's hand.

He didn't even look at it. Just placed it on the table behind her. Then, looking deep into her eyes, he pulled her into his arms.

She couldn't look away. She could barely breathe.

“Why are you so mad?” he said.

She swallowed. What could she say? The truth?
I don't know what to do or say because I want you so badly. I want what isn't possible.

For a long moment the only sounds in the room were the ticking of the clock on the wall and their own breathing.

Still holding her gaze, he said, “I want to kiss you, Olivia. If you don't want me to, say so now.”

“I—” She stopped, unable to continue. To say no would be lying. Of course, she wanted him to kiss her. She'd been wanting that ever since she'd admitted to herself how she felt about him. The one kiss he
had
given her hadn't been nearly enough. It had only whet her appetite for more. Much more.
Don't do this. It's foolhardy.

“So it's okay?” he said.

Dear Heaven. Knowing she was lost, her eyes answered for her. And when his lips met hers, she sighed deeply, opening her mouth and her heart to him. Every sensible and rational objection she might have made was buried under an avalanche of feeling, a torrent of emotion and desire and need and loneliness. The kiss went on and on, overpowering everything except how much she loved and wanted this man.

When his hands dropped down to cup her bottom and pull her closer, she felt his heat, and her body responded with a fire of its own.

“I want you so much,” he muttered, burying his face in her neck. “I wish—”

“Don't talk,” she whispered. “Just make love to me.”

“But I don't have a condom with me. I didn't expect—”

“It doesn't matter,” she said, yielding to the moment, rationalizing it through her emotions, feeling rather than reasoning that if this was the only chance she'd ever have to be with Matt, she was going to take it. Besides, she knew she wasn't ovulating. Her period was due to start in two days.

Grabbing his hand, she pulled him toward the hall and her little study, where there was a daybed. She wouldn't take him upstairs, not with Thea asleep in the bedroom next to hers.

“Are you sure?” he said, giving her one more chance to back out.

“I said, don't talk.”

Later, she wouldn't remember getting undressed. Somehow, in the middle of all the kissing, they managed to shed their clothing, which ended up in puddles on the floor. And then they became a tangle of arms and legs on the daybed, with only the light from the hallway spilling into the room.

He was a wonderful lover—thoughtful and generous. He gave her body his full attention, kissing her everywhere, touching her and stroking her and exploring her. When she would have responded in kind, he whispered, “Not yet. Let me love you first.”

So she closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensations. She didn't allow herself to think, only feel. It felt so right to be there, to allow him to care for her the way he wanted to. When he finally turned his attention to that most intimate part of her, she gasped, and her body responded immediately. Her back arched, and it was all she could do not to cry out, especially as his fingers delved. She tried to push him away, not wanting to reach that peak without him, but he wouldn't allow her to. Instead, his mouth covered hers, shutting off her protest, and his fingers moved more urgently.

Her body, denied release for so long, built to a crescendo, then exploded. Waves and waves of intense pleasure pummeled her, leaving her breathless and so weak, she could barely move. And it was then, and only then, that he slowly entered her.

The feel of him, his strength and heat, caused her to gasp. And as he began to move, she felt her own strength returning, and she moved with him. Soon they found their rhythm and within moments, she could feel herself climbing once more, desire building to another peak, and when she felt him stiffen, then shudder as he reached his own release, she allowed herself to let go once again, and she held tightly to him and gave herself up to the painful pleasure of loving him.

Chapter Nine

L
ater, the two of them covered by the quilt she kept on the daybed, nestled spoon fashion in Matt's arms, Olivia knew this was where she belonged, the place where she felt safe and loved and protected, the place she always wanted to be. Yet nothing had changed, even though everything had changed.

“You're not sorry, are you?” Matt murmured, tightening his arms around her, kissing her shoulder.

“Never,” she said. She sighed deeply, contentment in every pore. She could lie there, in his arms, forever. She didn't even care that his car was parked in her driveway. That her neighbors, if they happened to be awake, would know that at one o'clock in the morning, he was still at her house. And she knew she
should
care. Because if Vivienne should somehow find out... Well, that possibility didn't bear thinking about.

“What's wrong?” Matt asked.

“Nothing.”

“Don't lie to me, Olivia. I felt you tense up. Something is bothering you. What?”

Sighing, she said, “Just your mother. What she'd do if she knew about us. About this.”

“Maybe we should just tell her.”

That statement made Olivia turn in his arms so she could look at him. “No, Matt. We can't do that.”

“Why not? We haven't done anything wrong. And I certainly don't intend to pretend things are still the same between us. Not after tonight. I love you, Olivia. I want everyone to know that. I want to declare that love openly. I want to marry you.”

His words thrilled her even as they terrified her. “But Matt, we can't do any of that. I—I'm not convinced there will ever be any kind of future for us, and telling the world right now, while this custody suit is going on, would be crazy. It's just asking for more trouble.”

“What if we informed the judge who will handle the case that we intend to get married? It would be very hard for anyone, my mother included, to say Thea would be better off with her and Dad than with you and me.”

Oh, it was tempting. But what if he was wrong? What if Vivienne already had the judge in her pocket? That wouldn't surprise Olivia, because Vivienne had boasted in the past about her powerful friends, and how she could get anything she wanted, whenever she wanted. And Olivia had seen her do just that. So had Matt.

“But Matt, you know how dangerous your mother is. Why give her more ammunition? We would be taking a terrible chance. I'm not willing to gamble with Thea in the crosshairs. We at least need to wait and see what happens with the custody case. If things go my way, then we can talk again. But in the meantime—”

His arms tightened around her. “Don't say we can't see each other again. I won't agree to that.”

“Matt...”

“No, Olivia. There's not a thing wrong with us spending time together. Even my mother can't make that seem wrong, because it isn't. After all, we've always spent time together. We're family.”

Because she hadn't the strength to keep arguing with him, Olivia let his reasoning go unchallenged, because essentially, he was right, yet inwardly, she couldn't rid herself of her foreboding. She knew some people might think she was paranoid where Vivienne was concerned, but that didn't make her fears any less real. But instead of saying anything more, she simply threw off the quilt and attempted to get up.

“Where are you going?” He tried to hold her back.

“I'm sorry, Matt, but it's late. It's time for you to leave and for me to go up to my bedroom. Thea sometimes wakes up in the night, and I don't want her to think I'm not here.”

But instead of letting her go, he pulled her back. “I don't want to leave,” he said softly.

“I know. I don't want you to, either. But you have to.”

He sighed and finally released her.

Ten minutes later, both dressed again—and now he had his shoes and jacket on—she said goodbye to him at the front door. He kissed her lingeringly and held her close for a long moment. “I love you,” he said again, resting his head against hers.

She understood he wanted to hear her say she loved him, too, and part of her wanted to say it, but something stopped her.

“I'll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

After one last kiss, he said good-night, and walked out the door.

* * *

“I'm thinking of quitting my job.” It was Wednesday morning and five days since the Brittons' petition had been filed in family court.

“But why?” Olivia's mother said.

“Because if I'm a stay-at-home mom, Vivienne's case against me will be a lot weaker.”

“But, honey, you really like your job. And there's not a thing wrong with you working. After all, you're a single mother.”

“I know that and you know that, but what's going on right now with Vivienne's case is more important. And once Thea starts kindergarten, maybe I can go back to school myself.” This idea had come to her after Matt had gone home early Tuesday morning, and Olivia hadn't been able to fall asleep because she couldn't shut off her brain.

“You'd go into nursing?”

“Yes, I think so.” When she'd become pregnant with Thea, Olivia had put her dream of becoming a nurse on hold. But now maybe becoming a registered nurse would be a possibility for her.

Her mother smiled. “That would actually be wonderful, I think. I mean, you talked about being a nurse from the time you were about five years old.”

“I know.” Olivia smiled, too. “And once Thea's in school, I'd have the freedom to do that.” She wondered what Matt would think of her idea, and had a feeling he would like it. In fact, she couldn't imagine Matt preventing her from doing anything she wanted to do. He simply wasn't like that.

“Have you talked to Eve about this?”

“Not yet. Why?”

“Well, I know from what Anna has said, that Eve hopes you'll move out to LA and work for Adam.”

“She told her mother that?”

“Yes.”

“And you like the idea?” She wished she could see her mother's expression, but the two women were talking by phone while Norma was on her lunch break.

“Not really,” her mother said, “but I wouldn't have made a fuss if that's what you truly wanted to do. I mean, the idea does have merit. A change might be really good for you, and removing Thea from Vivienne's constant interference would certainly make your life easier. And, as Anna pointed out, I could come out and visit you as often as I wanted.”

Olivia couldn't believe her mother was actually advocating for such a radical change.

“I'm not saying I think you should move, honey. I'm just saying if you wanted to, I wouldn't make it difficult for you. I want what's best for both you and Thea, you know that.”

“I do know it, and I love you for it.” Olivia thought, not for the first time, how lucky she was to have a mother like Norma. To have a family who loved her and only wanted the best for her.

And now you have Matt, too.

If only Matt wasn't a Britton. If only he, too, had a family like hers.

She wondered if she should tell her mother what had happened between them. Not about the sex, of course. That was private. But about the fact that Matt had proposed to her. That she loved him, too, even though she hadn't told him.

Yet something stopped her. And it wasn't just that they were talking on the telephone and this seemed news that should be discussed in person. Mostly, she said nothing because maybe it was too soon. Maybe, as she'd advised Matt, she should wait till this whole custody thing was over. Once that was behind her, once she no longer had that to fear from Vivienne, then she'd confide in her mother.

“So you're okay with picking Thea up tonight?” she said instead.

“I'll be there.”

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you more.”

Olivia was smiling as she disconnected the call.

* * *

Olivia had only been on her shift for a little more than an hour when her cell rang. She didn't recognize the number, so she let the call go to voice mail. She could deal with it on her break.

The call turned out to be from the caseworker assigned to do a home evaluation and interview with her prior to the hearing at family court. The woman, whose name was Joan Barwood, left a number for Olivia to call. Taking a deep breath, telling herself there was nothing to fear, Olivia placed the call.

“Joan Barwood.”

“Hello, Ms. Barwood. This is Olivia Britton returning your call.”

“Yes, hello, Mrs. Britton. I was calling to see if we could set up a convenient time for me to come and visit your home and talk with you and Thea.”

“I'm free every morning for the next three days.”

“How about Friday at ten, then?”

“That's perfect. You have my address?”

“I do.”

“And you want Thea to be there?”

“Yes, I do.”

“All right. I'll see you then.”

Olivia's hands were shaking when she disconnected the call. She had promised to call Austin and let him know when she'd been contacted. He answered almost immediately.

“I'm glad you've heard from the caseworker,” he said. “I was hoping they'd visit quickly, not make you wait.”

“Yes, I'm glad to get it over with quickly, too,” she agreed.

“I'll check on Ms. Barwood tomorrow. See what I can find out about her. I'll call you after I do.”

“That would be great, Austin.” She would also ask Matt what he might know about the woman. “Oh, and I meant to tell you, thank you so much for the beautiful flowers. That was very thoughtful of you.”

“I'm glad you like them. And listen, don't worry too much, okay? You'll do fine with the Barwood woman. Just be yourself. She won't be able to help liking you.”

“I'll try. It's just that the whole idea is nerve-racking. That some stranger is coming into your home to evaluate it...and you.”

“I know. But try to relax. She's a professional. Trained to be objective. It's not like she's your mother-in-law's paid assassin or anything.”

“I know.” But Olivia couldn't help feeling that the unknown Ms. Barwood might actually be just that. Perhaps she was someone Vivienne already knew and had already influenced.

“You don't sound very convinced.”

Olivia sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm trying. It's just that all of this is so scary. This woman could hold my fate, Thea's fate, in her hands.”

“She's not going to give you a bad report. How could she? You don't do drugs. You don't leave Thea alone. You don't run around or hang out in bars. You've never been arrested. You work in an honest profession. You have a close family. And Thea is obviously a healthy, well-adjusted, happy child.”

“Yet her grandmother says I'm an unfit mother. And supposedly has proof.” She still had no idea what this so-called proof was.

“Vivienne Britton is just used to getting her own way. And threatening people has always worked for her.”

Olivia nodded, then felt silly because of course, he couldn't see her. “I know.”

“But it's not going to work now,” he said firmly.

“No.” But even though she said it, she couldn't help feeling scared.

“Look, I've dealt with people like her...and worse than her...since Adam's career took off the way it has. She's a bully. I know how to handle bullies.”

They talked awhile longer, then just as she was about to say goodbye, he said, “Let me take you to dinner Friday night. We can go over everything.”

“Oh, Austin, I'm sorry. I can't. Friday is my last day on the afternoon shift.”

“Saturday, then.”

“Um, I just—”

“Don't say no, Olivia. It'll be the perfect way for us to catch up on everything. You can tell me how the home inspection went and we can go over our strategy for court.”

She really didn't want to go, not after what had happened with Matt, but she didn't know how to get out of it gracefully, either, because she certainly couldn't tell Austin the truth. So she finally agreed, and he said he'd pick her up at seven.

She sighed after they hung up. She hoped her mother would be able to babysit again. It seemed as if Olivia was always asking her, and that didn't seem very fair. If Vivienne wasn't doing what she was doing, Olivia would have called
her
, but of course, now that option was out of the question. Maybe she should call Austin back and tell him to just plan on having dinner there at the house, with her and Thea. No, not a good idea. Thing was, if they were out to dinner, she could more easily control the length of time they spent together. If he was there, in her home, it would be hard for her to end the evening if he seemed the least bit reluctant to leave. Maybe she should just ask Stella.

Stella was always her last choice because, after all, Stella was young and had a life of her own. She loved Thea wholeheartedly and she never acted reluctant to help out, but Olivia knew she could easily take advantage of Stella's good nature and generosity, and she never wanted to do that. Especially since there was little she could ever do for Stella in return. However, “needs must” as Olivia's grandmother Dubrovnik always used to say.

Before she changed her mind, she placed the call to her sister.

“Hey,” Stella said. “What's up?”

“Sorry to bother you at work, but I need a sitter for Saturday night. You available?”

“You're in luck. I am. Why don't you let Thea come to my place and spend the night?”

Olivia smiled. “She'd love that, but, um, I have a bit of a problem, and it would be better if you were here.”

“Why's that?”

“Austin Crenshaw is taking me to dinner, and I don't want to come back here to an empty house. If you're here, he won't suggest coming in.”

“Olivia...”

“What?”