The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (89 page)

     Miss Charles was of the dependent independent kind of them. These have it in them then to have when they have quick reaction in them that is not a stirring from the depths of them these have it very often that this in them is a violent attacking, often continuous bragging, often moral reforming conviction, often nervous action in them, often incessant talking, incessant action, incessant attacking in them and this is in those of them that are the pure thing of dependent independent being and attacking is not their way at all of winning fighting. There are some who have in them resisting being and they have in them attacking being as another nature in them but that is a different thing from this thing that I am now describing, from the being in Miss Charles. Miss Charles was completely dependent independent being, attacking was not her way of winning fighting, it was resisting as I was saying in telling what she did to win her fighting for Miss Dounor with Redfern. That was then when she was a young one when she was no longer a young one, when her own being was almost completely then her filling, when there was in her the generalised moral emotion that came from the reaction that filled her a good deal in her young living, reaction that made attacking being then in her, in her who had in her to have resisting as her way of winning fighting, that was then what gave to her then attempting dominating every one by attacking and this is a very common thing in those having in them dependent independent being, this is a very common thing in them in their young living when their real way of winning fighting has not come yet to be in them. I am not saying that those having in them dependent independent being cannot have in them religion and moral or reforming passion as the expression of the being in them, there are very many of them who have it in them as I was saying, the old man Hissen had it in him and there are very many of them of this kind of them and there are very many of many various kinds of them of the dependent independent kind of them that have religious or virtuous or moral or reforming passion in them as the whole expression of the being in them but these express this then by resisting fighting which is their way of winning fighting. As I was saying there are many having in them dependent independent being, and there are some of them who have it in them only when they are younger ones and some have it in them very strongly in them up to their ending, there are very many of them who have much attacking of quick reacting, much attacking in bragging, in being quickly certain of everything, of being very quick in judging everything and these then some of them are mostly all filled up with this kind of reacting attacking in them which is not in them their real way of winning fighting. This is a very important thing to know in men and women, a very important thing to know in them in knowing them, in judging of the power in them of succeeding or of failing in their living. The independent dependent kind in men and women can have quick reaction that is completely poignant, that is attacking, in them, that is their real way of winning fighting. Those having in them dependent independent nature in them have not real power in quick resisting, in attacking fighting, many of them have this filling them all their living, many of them have this filling them in their young living when their own way of winning fighting is not yet developed in them enough to fill them, some have almost nothing of this kind of acting in them some of the dependent independent kind of them. All this is very important, very very important, sometime there will be very very much description of every kind of being in every kind of men and women.
     Miss Charles was of the kind of them the kind of men and women I know very well in living. I know very well all the varieties of this kind of them. Some of each kind there is of men and women are very nice ones of their kind of them, some of each kind there is of men and women are not nice ones at all of their kind of them. Miss Charles was not a very nice one, she was not a not nice one at all of her kind of them. Being nice or not a nice kind of one, a pleasant or unpleasant kind of one was not in her an important thing. This is a very certain thing. She was as I was saying in her younger living aggressive in her detailed and generalised conviction of morality and reformation and equalisation. Later in her living she went on in the direction she had been going but her methods then were from the being in her and that then mostly entirely filled her. That made her control everything, every one near her by steady resisting pressure and that was then the way of winning in her. Everything near her, every one near her, every detail of everything was then more or less completely owned by her. She was of the kind of them who own the thing they need for loving. Later as I was saying Miss Dounor left her, Miss Charles had a little owned Redfern almost and Miss Dounor many years later left her and Miss Charles went on always to her ending completely owning the college of Farnham.
     There has been now enough description of Miss Charles. There has been enough description of Miss Dounor. There has been enough description of Miss Dounor and of Miss Charles. There will be now a very little more description of Mrs. Redfern.
     At the time of the ending of the living of the Redfern's at Farnham, Alfred Hersland was just coming to his marrying of Julia Dehning. The Redferns after the ending of their living at the college of Farnham never lived anywhere together again. Mrs. Redfern never understood this thing. Always she was expecting it to begin again their living together until after the complete ending of being in Redfern. That made her certain then that they would never live together again.
     After the ending of their Farnham living the Redferns never lived anywhere together again. Mrs. Redfern never understood this thing. She never knew that she would not ever again have him. This never could come to be real knowledge in her and she was always working at something to have him again and that was there always in her to the end of him and of her. First she was travelling and studying and then she was working to make* some women understand something and many laughed at her and always she was full of desiring and always she was never understanding in desiring. W hen there was the end of her living with Redfern her brother Alfred was just coming to his marrying Julia Dehning. Martha was then travelling and studying and then she came back to be with her father and her mother was weakening then and later she was dead and Mr. Hersland lost his great fortune and Martha then took care of him. There will be now a little more description of her and then of her with him. There will be a little more description of her written in the history of the ending of the living in her father, in the history of the later living of her brother Alfred Hersland, in the history of her brother David Hersland. More description of her will be part of the history of the ending of the existing of the Hersland family. There will be very much history of this ending of all of them of the Hersland family written later.
     There will be now a little more description written of her and of her living with her father when she came back to the family living back out of her trouble after the ending of the living in Phillip Redfern.
     After the ending of the Redfern's living at Farnham the two of them, Mr. and Mrs. Redfern never lived anywhere together again. Mrs. Redfern never understood this thing. Always she was expecting it to begin again, their living together and always she was studying and preparing herself to be a companion to him in intellectual living. Always then she was studying and striving and travelling and working. And then he was dead and then she knew they would not live together again. Then she was certain of this thing.
     That was her living then until he was dead and she went back to the ten acre place where then her father and mother were living and her mother was weakening then and a little while later then she died there and Martha finished her living staying with her father who had then lost his great fortune.
     No one knowing Mr. Hersland in his middle living could have really been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. I was saying that he had in his middle living, the need in him, of having people around him, who were not in him in his feeling, who were there around him getting from his beginning the realisation of their being, he was to them life enhancing. This would have been in him, this need in him in the middle of his middle living what ever would have been the power of completion in him, for it is a need in all of them who have in them the being big in a beginning. As I was saying no one knowing him could really be completely certain then in him before the complete ending of his middle living about the completeness of beginning in him, the carrying power in him of a beginning and going on in action.
     No one knowing Mr. Hersland before the complete ending of his middle living could have been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. No one knowing Mr. Hersland in his middle living could have really been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. Later in the ending of his middle living he was beginning to lose his great fortune. His wife was dying and dead then and Martha was living with him and his sons Alfred and David were in Bridgepoint then. Martha was living with him at the ending of his middle living and from then on. As I was saying no one knowing Mr. Hersland in his middle living could have really been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. Later in his middle living he was beginning to lose his great fortune, at the ending of his middle living he had pretty completely no great beginning in him and Martha his daughter was then living with him.
     Martha had never in her, as I have been saying understanding in desiring. After the ending of her living with Redfern she went about travelling, studying, working, and some laughed at her then and she went on and always she could never understand this thing.
     Martha had not in her any understanding in desiring. She went on as I was saying not hoping but intending to get ready to live again with Phillip Redfern and be intellectually a companion to him. She went about travelling and studying and working and intending to be completely the thing Redfern wished a wife who lived with him to be and she went on intending to be completely this thing, and very many laughed about her then and she never saw Redfern again. She never understood this thing. She had no understanding in desiring. Redfern died young. When he was dead Martha came home to Gossols and it was then the beginning of the ending of her father's middle living. He was beginning then to lose his great fortune. He was full up then pretty nearly with impatient feeling. Martha had no understanding in desiring, she would always after a meal offer him sugar to put in his coffee and he never took sugar in black coffee and she never learned this thing and he was then completely filled up with impatient feeling. He never liked to be helped in putting on anything and always Martha helped him on with his coat and always he would be completely then filled up with impatient feeling. Martha Redfern then lived at home all the time her father was losing his great fortune and then he was needing attacking women to fill him where he was shrunk away from the outside of him but he did not want to be filled so with Martha then, not then or later in his living, she was never inside him to him, she offered him sugar and he never took sugar in black coffee, never and she tried to help him on with his over coat when he was leaving and he never had wanted such a kind of attention and Martha always commenced again and again for Martha was always full up with desiring beginning, and he then he was full up then with impatient feeling only he was not really completely full up then with anything, he was then shrunk away from the outside of him, at least this was then beginning in him.
     As I was saying no one knowing Mr. Hersland in his middle living could have really been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. In the ending of his middle living he was beginning to lose his great fortune. He had then still beginning in him, mostly then he was full up with impatient feeling, later he was shrunk away from the outside of him.
     No one knowing Mr. Hersland in his middle living could have really been completely certain that he would never bring through to a completed beginning anything in his living. I was saying that he had in his middle living the need in him, of having people around him, who were not in him in his feeling, who were there around him getting from his being strong in beginning, big as all the world in his feeling, getting so a realisation of their own being, getting from him the enhancing of being in them. This would have been in him, this need of having men around him who received then from him the enhancing of the being in them, this would have been in him then in his middle living, whatever would have been the power of completion of him, whatever strength he could have in him much or little in him of carrying a beginning through to a complete winning, for it is a need in very many men and very many women in their middle living, it is a need in all of them who have in them the being big in a beginning. As I was saying no one knowing him could really be completely certain then about the power in him to be completely succeeding to be completely failing, to be succeeding or failing in his living no one who knew him before the ending of the middle living in him, not those men who were around him and got in them from hearing, feeling, seeing, hearing about the big beginning always in him got in them the enhancing of the being in them, not these then in his middle living could know it in them of him whether he would have succeeding as the complete being in him, failing as the complete being in him. These could not know it then of him. Those men who began beginning with him and then left him to do their own ending, being afraid of the way of going on with a beginning in him, wanting to be doing their own ending, these could not be certain in his middle living whether he would be ending his beginning in success or in failing. These then up to the ending of his middle living could not be certain of it about him. Those men who were fighting against him, those whom he was brushing away from around him, those whom when he was not succeeding in brushing them away from before him, he went another way then and he was full up with beginning action and he did not then really know it in him, these could not know it certainly in them of him, later they might think they had been certain about him, they were not then certain about him not any of them completely certain then, this is a certain thing, none of them of any of them he was brushing away from before him, he was not succeeding in brushing away from before him, those he was fighting against or those who were fighting around him, none of them had in them to be certain then in them whether he would be succeeding or failing in his completed living. It is a most difficult thing to tell about very many men whether they will be succeeding or failing, it is a most difficult thing to know it about them. No one can be certain of them, of very many of them before the complete ending of their middle living whether they will be succeeding or failing in their living. In many men and in many women, the character in them comes completely to be repeating and one can know it completely in them as in repeating it comes out of them, one can come to know of them the complete limits of the variation of all repeating in them and yet one, no one can yet be completely certain of them whether they will be succeeding or failing in the whole living of them. And this is always and always a certain thing and always and always it is more exciting the knowing in one completely the character of them, the whole repeating in them, the whole range of being in them and yet not then being completely certain of them whether they will be succeeding or failing in living.