The Loving Cup (54 page)

He said: 'My love. My Cuby. My dearest Cuby.'

Her black eyebrows were knitted over the startling hazel
eyes.

'Jeremy, I have been thinking a lot.'

‘
I
was afraid so. I noticed it.'

'You must not joke.'

'God knows it is no joke to me, when I fear your thoughts!' 'Why should you fear my thoughts?' 'Why not, when all through they have been the enemy of my hopes, the stumbling block to all my attempts to love you?'

She seemed touched by
this. 'Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I have always been too - material, too steady-headed for my own good. But I do not think you need fear my thoughts any more. After all, have I not come with you on this - this adventure, this
crazy
adventure, which no level-headed person could decently justify? Am I not mad, running away with you like a romantic schoolgirl when, had I chosen to become engaged to marry you and done so in due course, my family could hardly have stopped me! It is - this adventure is really without rhyme or reason!'

'That is what I am afraid you will still decide.'

She looked sulky for a moment. 'I have been thinking over my life on this long journey, especially my life during the last three years since I met you. Perhaps all the jogging and jolting has helped me to concentrate! I have been thinking of how we first met. It - it seems to me that from the moment we met, when I shielded you from the attention of the gaugers, you never had - any doubts.'

'About you? No. Never any doubts.'

'Perhaps I should not have had.'

'You had so many other claims on you - on your loyalty and your love.'

Sh&irowned across the low room with its smoky lanterns hanging from blackened beams, the brasswork flickering in the light of the open fire, a parrot clawing its way round a cage-

'You knew I was fully prepared
to marry Valentine Warleggan.' ‘I
knew.'

'Clearly it injured your feelings for me!'

‘I
t injured them a great deal, but it did not change them.'

'And you knew even before I met Valentine that I was expecting to marry money and therefore could not marry you.'

'Yes.'

'Do you remember I said to you once that I could not marry for preference and go away somewhere to some other
p
art of the country and watch from afar as the house and the ands were sold and the
Trevanions vanished from a coun
tryside which had known them for centuries?' 'You said that, yes.'

‘I
s that not precisely what I am doing now?'.

I
think so. I trust it will not happen to your house and lands that way, but I pray you keep to the same mind.'

'Do not pray so, for you need not. I cannot explain it to my reasonable self, except in one quite unreasonable way. Which is that I think I must love you, Jeremy. Even though I thought I did not!'

He slowly pushed his plate away.

'Finish your pudding,' she said.

‘
I
cannot now! Do you think anyone would mind if I shouted aloud?'

‘
I
should.' She put her hand out and touched his. 'But, Jeremy, how could it be otherwise? How else could you have drawn me after you in this - this escapade, against all the logics that my brain put up? And if I love you - as it seems you love me - then I have treated you very ill - have I not? - all this time, pretending to myself and to you that it was only some petty little attraction between us that would fade if ignored
...'

'Does it matter now, my dearest Cuby, that we are at last together? Does anything
else
matter at
all!
'

‘I
t does to me.' The crescents round her mouth moved into a half smile,
I
am sorry if I seem - analytical. Believe me, it is not as bad as that. But all this jolting
...
I think
...'
He had seldom seen her so hesitant,
I
think I need to show you some proof of my - of my love. Perhaps even proof, if you want it, that I am not going to change my mind. You see, I seem never to have had faith in you, never done anything, never given you any
trust
or
confidence
or
belief:
The waiter came and asked them if they would take tea.

Cuby shook her head. Jeremy shook his head. When he had gone, bearing away plates, Jeremy said: '
I
need no proof but the proof of your being here, and
your promise that you will stay. What else do you suggest?'

The candles flickered in her breath as she said:
I
don't think now I can suggest it.' 'Pray do.'

She raised her head and
looked at him, face colouring. ‘I
think I would like you to take me as your wife tonight.'

He looked back at her, swallowed, looked again.

She said: 'Pray do not
stare.'

He said:
'Because
we are not yet married?'

'Before
we are married, yes. Do you understand what I mean?'

There was a lot of noise and laughter from the next room, where the tapsters were busy. But there was no sound in this room for what seemed a long time.

Jeremy said:
I
have no words.'

'Say no if you think no.'

‘
I
have no words except to say yes. No words to tell you what I feel.'

Cuby said: 'Dear Jeremy, remember, I am only of the same
stuff
as
you; I am mortal, flesh and blood, ordinary, and-untutored.'

'My love...'

'Other women you have known
...'

'No woman was ever like you. No woman ever will be.'

The innkeeper came across, rubbing his hands on his gr
een apron. Had the lady and gentl
eman supped to their satisfaction? Was there anything more the lady and gentleman required? Because of the early start in the morning, hot water would brought up at
6.30
a,m. Would that be satisfactory?

‘
Everything
was satisfactory,
’
said Jeremy. He had, he said, never had greater cause for satisfaction. The innkeeper went away looking faintly surprised.

Cuby said:
I
cannot explain to you why this seems right to me -'

‘
I
can explain why it seems right to
me.
But
do I need to? Dearest Cuby.' And
then: 'Has this been in your mind all day? Is this why you asked for a fire to be lighted in your room?'

‘
I
did
not
ask for a fire to be lighted! I did not
refuse
one!'

'And this is why?'

She bit her lip. 'Pray do not ask me any more questions.' . He said:
‘
it is hard not to when the answers are so beautiful and fine.'

In the night she touched him, and he instantly awoke.

'Jeremy, if I wish to keep my reputation for another day it is time you left.'

'Have we slept long?'

‘
I
don't know. But there is a faint light behind the curtains. Whether it is moonlight
...'

'No. It must be dawn.' He struggled to get out of bed, kissed her bare shoulder. That stopped him for a while. He began to sip at her skin as if it were some pale liquid to be savoured.

'My love,' he said. 'Did I -1 hope I did not hurt you.' 'No. But little. Nothing.'

The fire was out. A solitary candle still guttered, half an hour from its end. The dusty green velvet curtains of the bed half hid her as he began hurriedly to dress, to collect what he need not put on. Buttons clinked, leather creaked.

Sh
e watched him with big grave ey
es, her black hair feathering the pillow.

A cock crew. He came back to the bed.

'We are liable to be roused any moment.'

‘I
know.'

He kissed her.
I
wis
h I knew the Song of Solomon.'
She suddenly smiled, all her face radiant. 'We'll read it together.' 'Tonight?' 'Tonight.'

'And Jeremy,'she said. " 'Yes?' He was at the door,
I
trust you still wish to marry me.'

Ross and Demelza read their son's letter standing in the doorway of Nampara in the late January sunshine.

'He is
happy,'
she said, is that not wonderful? I am so very delighted!'

'Thank God it came good for him,' Ross said, if it had not it would have ruined his life.'

'And your advice was right!'

'He did not take it.'

'Enough. He took it enough.'

'So now we have our two eldest children wed.
We
should be happy.' 'Are we not?'

'Yes, in this respect we measure our content by theirs. God, I envy Jeremy!' 'For what?'

He took her arm. 'For being at the beginning of it all.' She sighed,
I
know.'

'Are you - better about Jeremy now?' he asked after a moment.

'Bet
ter? In what way?' She was startl
ed at his perception.

'You have been depressed about him, haven't you? Worried in someway.' 'Yes, Ross, I've been worried in some way.' 'And this news helps?' it helps a lot!'

'But not altogether? There's something else?' 'Perhaps there need not be now. Perhaps there never will need to be.' 'You don't wish to tell me what it is?' 'No, Ross. I could not. It is too - too queasy.' 'Something to do with your instinct perhaps?' 'Yes, perhaps. Feelings I had.'

'No longer have.'

‘
I
have forgotten them! All I think now is how wonderful it is that they have come together!'

'Amen.' He squeezed her arm.
I
think we're specially lucky, aren't we, lucky in having two younger children to be coming along in their place.'

'That's true.'

'You're very thin.'
'

‘
I
am not at all thin, Ross. Even at your age, you cannot wish for a fudgy-faced wife.'

'Even at my age I do not wish you to be fading away.'

‘
I
am
not
fading away. Believe me.'

'We must buy some scales

‘
You really liked her,
Demelza?'

'Tis hard to say too much on so short an acquaintance, but I thought she had great spirit. We - seemed to understand each other.'

'So I noticed. On the whole I agree. She has great spirit and charm. I
cannot quite forgive her for being so mercenary. But I suppose - according to one's standards - one could see a certain spirit and nobility even in that.'

Demelza put the letter in her pocket and looked over her garden.

'Those
winds
last month. They were so vindictive. Look at our wallflowers!
.
Although we've done our best with them they'll never be right now.'

'It's the penalty of living where we do. After all, there are compensations.'

'And the hollyhocks were a
calamity
last year. I wondered whether to give them a miss, try perhaps columbines, just for a change.'

'You haven't sown any seed, have you? They're biennials, you know.'

‘
I
do know. But Caroline has some spare plants.' 'Well, as you say, it would be a change. But it wouldn't be quite like you not to have a few hollyhocks, would it.'
‘
Oh, well.'

She ventured out into the garden but soon drew back into the shelter of the porch again.

'Is it not wonderful this news! Where will they live? I mean when Jeremy comes out of the army.'

'Heavens, I have no idea. You're jumping ahead. We might enlarge the Gatehouse.'

'Enlarge it?'

'Double it in size. It is ve
ry small. Perhaps some of the miners who are
going to be out of work when Grace closes could be employed in this way. We could give this to Jeremy and Cuby as a wedding present.'

'A lovely idea! Do you think Clowance would mind?'

'Mind?Why
?'

'Well, we offered it to her and Stephen just as it was.'

‘I’
m sure she would not. Clowance is our daughter, and
one
expects her husband to provi
de for her. This is the other
way round. But it would never be meant as an indication of any different regard.'

Demelza gave a little skip of pleasure. 'Are we
wealthy
again, Ross?'

'We would be if we closed Wheal Grace. But I cannot do that except little by little, a level at a time, giving men a chance to find other work, or make adjustments to their lives, possibly take more on at Leisure. That way we lose a part of our profits, but are still better off than for some while.'

'Rebuilding the Gatehouse will cost much.'

'We can take our time. I dou
bt if Jeremy will come out of
the army for another twelvemonth, and I suspect Cuby will stay with him wherever he goes.'

'Could I spend more on my garden?'

'Of course. What do you want to do?'

'First raise the wall at least another three feet. Did you see that walled garden at Place House?'

'No.'

'Selina took us out there after dinner. They are in just as exposed a position as we are, but the peach trees growing on the walls! And these new things, these hydrangeas, that I thought would only live indoors!'

'Three feet you shall have. Though we'll have to match the stone so that it won't show. Anything else?'

'You're teasing me!' ‘
Not at all.'

'Then I would like a proper music teacher for Isabella-Rose. Don't laugh, for she has some sort of overwelling music in her if only it can be harnessed and trained.'

‘
She should go away to school, my love. Just for a year or two. She's twelve and a half, and already far too bright for Mrs Kemp.'

Demelza pulled at a curl in her hair, twisting it round her finger and then releasing
’
it.
I
was feared you might say that.'

‘I
s it not true?'

‘
I
do not know if I can spare her just yet.' .

'Well, soon perhaps. I think it would do her good.'

'Clowance ran away.'

'Only twice. And was no worse for it.'

The wind was sneaking round the corner, and Demelza turned to go in. As Ross opened the door she said: 'Had you some school in mind?'

'Mrs Hemple's
in Truro has a very good reputati
on. And being near St Mary's Church they hear some good singing. Take part in it too, I believe, at times.'

They went in.

Demelza kicked off her shoes and put them under a chair, sat on the chair and thoughtfully pulled on one slipper and then the other.

She said: 'Can good come out of evil, Ross?'

'What?...
Of course. And the other way round. More often, I fear, the other way round. Why do you ask?'

'And can you profit, truly profit from some wrongful act
...
I mean, can happiness, do you think, come about when maybe you - you haven't quite done what you ought to - or where what you have done might be expected to spoil it?'

Ross stood with his hand on the latch of the dining-room door,
‘
I
don't know, my dear. Who knows what is deserved? - But why do you ask me this now? It's not easy to answer theoretical questions, and it's not quite like you to ask them.'

‘I
t was just thoughts passing through my head.'

Ross grunted and opened the door, passed inside, turned and saw Demelza at the door watching him.

He said: 'What did Jeremy mean about the loving cup?'

Demelza hesitated. 'Oh, nothing in particular, I believe. He seemed to take a fancy to it when he was here, and I offered it to him but he refused.'

'And now he wants it?'

'Yes.'

‘
I
wonder why. How is it in any way connected with him?'

‘
I
think he came to look on it as some sort of an omen.'

'Not like him really. I mean
...'

Demelza thought a moment. Trouble again crossed her brow and then passed. She said: 'Well, is it not suitable? A loving cup to bring two people together?'