The Loving Cup (47 page)

'Funny but utterly and precisely exact. I could not have spoken more clearly what was in my mind.'

‘
That?...'

'That I worship the ground you are walking on! Do you not understand? Or covet it, if you prefer the word. The early assays that Chenhalls had taken were over-optimistic, but later ones have shown a real basis for a new enterprise. We should do well.'

She was very still against him. After a while she said: 'Sometimes before you have shown sarcasm, cynicism. I have always persuaded myself that it would not be turned upon me. Why now?'

He stroked her hair but she moved her head away. He said: it is not turned upon you, my kitten. It is turned upon life.'

'That I still don't understand. Are you trying to inform me that you have married me for my money, for the house and land I own?'

He thought it over, eyes fixed on the fishing boats,
I
married you for
yourself—
and for everything you possess -and for the ground you walk on. There is mining blood in me and I cannot disown it. Nor do I wish to. That letter I was writing this morning, was to friends I have who may be able to advance me the development money. I think I can convince them.' The
statement was plain and unemphat
ic, not governed o
r affected by friendship or emoti
on.

Suddenly, bitterly she burst out: 'Why bother? My money is now yours. I am now no longer the rich widow but the unimportant wife!'

'Thank you, but I have my pride and prefer to try for my own fortune. However, I shall call on you for much. Money, true, to live on. Indulgence. Your body, which I covet most of all at this moment
...
If there is cynicism in me, Selina, you must bear with it
...
just as you will bear my love. Just as you will have to bear my infidelities.'

She turned to look at him incredulously, doubting what she had just heard, but she could only discern his sharp profile. Because of some trick of the light it was as if his eyes were dark sockets under the ledge of his brows, empty of life and expression. It had suddenly happened, this change of mood, a matter-of-factness, a coldness, which seemed only the reverse side of all the charm, all the ardour. The coin had turned. She swung angrily round to climb up the way she had come, but he caught her. She hit him across the face, but it stung only a moment as he gripped her arms.

'Do not do that, Selina, for I need you.'

'You're hurting me!'

'Not very much. Besides, we are bound together in holy matrimony, are we not, and that bond will hurt us both much, much more from
time
to
time
. Can we not be honest about it?'

'Honest!' she exclaimed. 'What honour is there in what you've just said?'

‘
I
did not say honour, but honesty, my little pussy cat. Or candour, if you prefer it...'

'The candour of a brute! Why are you doing this to me? Why are you saying this
now?

'No reason. Just that it had to be said sometime. And one thing led to another
...
I have been faithful to you for five months, Selina. Truly. Genuinely. Is that not a great deal?. But I cannot be faithful indefinitely, for it is not in my nature. There are too many pretty women in the world. I simply cannot resist them. Nor shall I try
...
Many wives -most wives - find this out in
time
. Look around you. But look at their husbands, who do not have the honesty -or candour - that I have but behave just the same in the end.' 'Let me go!'

'Not yet. For I have now said all that will be disagreeable to your self-esteem. Now let me say that if I stray from you-when I stray from you - it will always, I think, be to return. There is something in you -'

‘
I
may not be here to greet you!'

'There is something in you that I do not fincUn any other woman-'

'So far!'

'So far. And believe me, that has been quite far. I have not wasted my youth -'

‘
I
do not want to hear any more of your reminiscences! Do you enjoy insulting me?'

He tried to kiss her again but she averted her face.

'For me,' he said, 'women are a game. A game I greatly relish. But still - just that. You, my little Selina, are not a game; you are a reality. Whenever I come to you it is to someone
real,
a touchstone - and a wife that I cherish: perhaps I should say that! — I lose myself in you as in no other woman. Marriage to you has been a consummation. We belong to each other. Have you realized that? If another man touched you I should kill him.'

'My God!' she exploded. 'You are telling me
that;
at the same time you are demanding all the freedom in the world for yourself!'

I
am indeed. I am indeed. I am indeed.' Although she had not relaxed, his grip slackened and he took her in his arms. 'You have to believe all this. You have to understand all this. For it is going to be the very esse
nce of our relationship.'
'Who says so?'

‘I
say so. And I am your husband. And you must obey me. Youpromised to in the marriage service.' 'That is nonsense!
’

'Far from it. You promised it, and you must keep your promise.'
I
shall not!'

'Yes, you shall. As my only beloved wife. On whom I am shortly going to exercise every husbandly privilege and right. Be still now. Be still.'

She still struggled, but not with all her strength. She knew what he meant and she knew what he was promising, and although she was fierce and hurt, she found it hard to resist that promise. She thought: I will never forgive him for the cynicism and brutality of what he has just said. If he behaves in that way I shall break his head when he comes crawling home! She thought: I
hate
him. But he desires me. All right, I desire him. In the morning it will be different. In the morning I will have this out; in the morning I will show him he is not such a master as he thinks; I shall be cold and distant; he must be taught that he is
not
the owner and controller of everything. I, I, Selina, am the mistress of my own body. I can deprive him, deny him, taunt him, control him. If he
really
desir
es me as he says he does, then I
am the mistress. He cannot take me against my will, and my will is at least as strong as his! Place House will still belong to me.

But for the moment lust was too strong. She knew it for what it was and despised it with the relish of a woman who had never known what sensuality was until Valentine took her. So for the moment she was quiet in his arms.

Mistaking her qu
iescence - or reading it correctl
y — he said:

'This mine will need considerable exploration before we can
be sure of everything. I hope -I
very much hope that we can arrange the workings so that they run away from the house down the valley, so that little of our view from the house looking north will be spoiled. I think it may be a very important working once it is launched.'

She did not speak, licking her lips, licking her psychic wounds.

Valentine said:
I
have thought about a name. Perhaps it is premature with scarcely a sod yet turned. However I have thought about a name.'

She still did not speak.

'Wheal Elizabeth,'
he said.

Selina peered at him. 'After your mother?'

'Just so.'

II

Clowance thought Demelza had gone thin again, but put it down to the monthly megrim. Good to be home among all the friendly faces, sleep in her own bed, listen to Isabella-Rose bubbling like a hoarse nightingale, see young Harry's fat little pudding-basin of a face crack into a beaming smile at sight of her, ride across the beach at break-neck pace, have long talks with her mother by the fireside. She asked a number of intimate q
uestions about her own body and s
ex life which Demelza tried to answer. She stayed three days.

Demelza asked her few questions in return; she felt the need above all not to pry. But that scarcely mattered. Whatever else married life had done to Clowance, it had not changed her frankness. She said she was more in love with Stephen than ever. In spite of his upbringing and his harsh life, there was no physical coarseness in him, she said. They talked a lot, she said, sometimes had arguments, but he seemed to want to learn of things she knew and he did not. She found they could learn from each other. When he went away she was desperately bored, and couldn't wait for his return. As he was likely to travel in his boats from time to time she felt she must find something to do. Of course, if a child came, that might alter her views, but so far there was no child on the way. She saw a lot of Aunt Verity and they had become closer friends than ever before. (Demelza felt an unaccustomed twinge of jealousy that of the three women she held most dear, two were enjoying each other's company and she could not be with them.)
Verity had promised to come over last month, Demelza
said, with her step-son, the ever-popular James and his wife and child, who were now living in Portsmouth. But young Alan had gone down with measles so they could not come where other children were. It had been a big disappointment for everyone.

And what of Papa? Clowance asked. When would he be home? Probably next week. The Committee was holding its
_v
last meeting on Thursday and he had promised to leave immediately after. All would be home for Christmas, so she and Stephen must spend at least three days with them. It would be a lovely party time: the first Christmas of peace -or nearly peace.

'All?' said Clowance. 'Do you mean Jeremy as well?'

I
heard from him yesterday. He says he has applied for leave and there is so little for the battalion to do at the moment, that he has a fair hope of getting it.'

''Thank goodness he's not been sent to America,' said Clowance, and then at the shadow on her mother's face wished she had not. She went on: 'Does he know about Valentine's marriage?'

I
told him. In his reply he simply says "What a shock about Valentine!" and nothing more.'

'No mention of Cuby?'

Demelza shook her head. 'No.'

'Perhaps he is "over" her.'
'

I
don't know, Clowance. I used to think I understood my children. Now I don't believe I understand Jeremy any more.'

Clowance admired the little silver cup on the sideboard in the dining room and asked where it had come from. Demelza gave her usual explanation. They examined it together and read the motto. Presumably the cup had been washed up from some shipwreck. Talking of ships, Demelza said, she hoped Stephen was going to prosper. Had he had to
borrow
the money for his first two vessels?

'No, an uncle in Bristol died, left him quite a lot of money. He had the
Clowance
built at Drake's shipyard, and the other was a French prize he picked up cheap at St Ives. It was lucky because it was just enough to start him off. Then he sailed as you know to Italy with pilchards and brought -another cargo - back.'

I
thought his mother was very poor.'

'Well, so she was. But he has lost touch with her. When last he heard she was on the stage. This uncle was his father's brother. Stephen says he kept an inn at Clifton. He met him years ago when he first went to Bristol; but of course he never expected any money.'

'No,' said Demelza. 'Twas indeed fortunate.'

'You know that Stephen has
now
borrowed money -from Warleggan's Bank - to buy the
Adolphus?
Everybody has been warning us of the risks we are taking!'

‘I
f it is just business it may be well enough. Many hundreds of people bank at Warleggan's Bank and come to no hurt. And Sir George has always been of a favourable disposition towards you.'

'To me? Well, yes, I believe he has.' Clowance stretched out and patted Farquhar, who was leaning against her skirt,
I
must see the Kellows before I leave. Is it true that Daisy is now encouraging Horrie Treneglos?'

I
thought Horrie was fixed up with Angela Nankivell. Certainly it would please his parents more.'

I
'm sorry for Daisy; She does not seem quite to settle on anyone. Of course I blame Jeremy partly for that.'

Demelza said: 'Does anyone st
ill use Kellow's Ladder? I was walking along the cliffs last week and looked down. I believe part of the ladder has become dangerous.'

‘
I
don't think it has been used since the Kellows' lugger was broken up in the storm. That must be nearly three years ago.'

‘
I
didn't attempt to go down,' said Demelza falsely.