The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan (26 page)

“Cody had surgery today and you sent me fucking shopping?”

“I’ll be right there,” he said.

"Don’t hang up on me.” B
ut it was too late, he already had.

“This is the SICU. You can’t go around making all that noise,” Nurse Rachel said. “These people are very sick.”

Nyxie put her hand up to stop the lecture. “I’m going in the hallway.”

“Go
down
the hall.”

Only about a minute passed before Declan came striding down the corridor, his white coat flaring behind him to reveal his green scrubs.

“Nyx, my God, I almost didn’t recognize you. You look beautiful.”

“Asshole! You scheduled his surgery and sent me shopping. I had a right to be here. He’s my brother. I’m all he has. He’s all I have.”

“Nyxie, you were a basket case when he had his other operations. You have to trust me to know what’s best for you.”

“It wasn’t your decision to make!”

She struck him in a visceral reaction. It wasn’t a light tap but a punch with all her strength. She’d never hit anyone before in her life. Becoming violent like her parents was an ever present fear.

“Oh, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry
,” she said upset that she’d struck him.

Suddenly, his arms were around her, pulling her arms between them and pressing her backwards until her shoulders were against the wall.

“Calm down, baby,” he said into her ear. “I know you think you’re strong enough to handle it, but I know you’re not. You spent
hours
crying and rocking the first time. You were practically comatose. You don’t even remember, do you?”

“I thought he was going to die and CPS had just taken Lotus and Reina. Of course I was a mess.”

“The second time you weren’t much better. You were pale and completely out of it when his operation was over.”

“The news—that woman. It was too much all at once,” s
he said trying to push him away but he wouldn’t let go.

“You’re here now. His procedure’s over. He’s going to get better.”

She pushed him again, harder. “What will CPS say when they find out I went shopping when my brother was under the knife. They’ll think I don’t care. Goddammit, Declan, I’ll never get them back.”

Declan tightened his grip and she could feel his erection pressing against her. “You weren’t informed. Dr. Patel took me off the case when I told him I knew you. I didn’t want you here because I couldn’t stand to see how hurt you’d be when Cody’s caseworker signed all the permission forms.”

“What?”

He didn’t repeat himself because he knew she heard every painful syllable. “I’m sorry, Nyx. They legally took guardianship a couple of days ago.”

“But we didn’t go to court yet.”

“They just have to get a judge to sign off to take over when they’re in the hospital. Look, they’re not going to know you’re here every day with him. No one in the hospital is going to try to keep yo
u away. Everyone knows you aren’t a danger to him.”

Nyxie pulled her head back until it touched the wall. It was her onl
y means of putting distance between them. Her eyes closed as she fought back tears.

“It’s okay to cry, baby.”

“No, no it’s not all right. You think my tears are some sort of show of insanity and when I cry, I’m going to flip out. You think I’m a hair’s breadth away from the funny farm.”

His brow lowered as did his voice. “Crying is healthier than what you’re doing now and what you do when you feel pain. I can’t tell you how much I want to reteach you to cry. It’s the rocking and the zoning out that make me worry for you. That’s not normal.”

“Normal? What’s not normal is that boner you’re pressing into me. You’re telling me all these horrible things and you’re turned on.”

“Shh. People are going to hear you,” Declan said looking down the corridor in both directions. “It’s
your vulnerability that does it for me. It always has. Seeing that raw emotion that opens you up and leaves you needing me; I need that. I crave that. Trust me when I say with you I’m much more into the ropes than I am the beatings. I don’t think I’d ever be able to accomplish what I see in you right now by physically hurting you. I’d have to take it too far and I don’t want to accidentally injure you.”

She stared at him, trying to understand what he said. “Then why hit me at all?”

Declan tilted his head to one side and smiled gently at her. “I do that for your pleasure. Because that’s what you need. What you crave.”

“Geez, Stryker, get a room,” another doctor said coming out of the S
ICU. “The kid’s back in his bed.”

Nyxie knew the patients coming
from surgery came through the
No Admittance
doors in the far end of the SICU.

“Cody?”

“Come on, baby, let’s go see Cody,” Declan said. “I think you’re going to like what you see.”

“You put the piece of skull back?”

Declan nodded his head as he stepped back and fastened his lab coat, hiding away his desire for her.

“Not me, Dr. Lanni
ster and Dr. Patel. But I was allowed to observe. Everything went by the book. Tomorrow, he goes down for another scan and if there’s no new swelling or signs of infection, we let him wake up.”

As soon as Declan finished speaking, Nyxie darted away from him. “Thank you,” she said to Dr. Lannister stopping in front of him.

“No problem,” the man said taking a slight step toward her and extending his arms as if to hug her.

Reflexively, Onyx stepped back putting her hand in front of her. “I don’t do that. I’m not a hugger.”

He chuckled. “You could have fooled me.”

“Dr. Stryke
r gave me no choice.”

“You liked being in my arms this morning,” he said gently.

She reeled around on him, fire in her eyes. “That’s before I realized you were an overstepping asshole!”

Lannister laughed. “Darlin’
, anyone who knows him could’ve told you that.”

She reeled around on the balding doctor. “I ain’t your
darlin’
, Bubba,” she yelled. “This conversation is between me and Dr. Stryker so stay the fuck out of it.”

Declan grabbed her hand and began dragging her away. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be,
Bubba
?” Declan said as he cornered her into an alcove. He maneuvered her arms in front of her before he engulfed her in his embrace.

“God, I thought she was kidding.”

“Please, leave,” she said to the interloper.

The man shrugged, his face mildly amused as he walked away, glancing back twice.

Declan used his body to press her into the corner. “We’re going to stay like this until you calm down.” His voice was low and unruffled but sexily raspy.

“I hate you, Declan,” she added his name as an afterthought because she knew he wouldn’t like it.

He reached into her hair and pulled until her face tilted up at him. “
Sir
.”

He stared into her face wondering how a little makeup and a new hairstyle had taken her from doe-eyed, waifish beauty and turned her into a knockout. God, how he wished he could make her invisible to other men.

“I am calm,” she said as she struggled against his arms. “Or I will be as soon as you let me see my brother.”

He tightened his hold, leaning into her small frame harder.

“I swear to God,
sir
, if I weren’t too upset to come, I go in the restroom, masturbate and send you a picture of my very red chest afterwards just to prove you don’t control me.”

“I should’ve never shown you how to send pictures. By the way, I don’t appreciate the picture you sent me of you wearing your new bra and jeans. Don’t send those to me at wor
k again. I could hardly keep my mind on my work this morning. Luckily, I saw the picture before rounds not surgery. Not fun, Nyxie.”

A half-suppressed grin twitched her lips as she threw his unapologetic words from that morning back at him. “Oops. Sorry, about that.”

His face became stony cold.

“You are not my girlfriend. Don’t act like you are. Do not contact me at work unless it’s an emergency.”

Her face became impassive. “You are neither my boyfriend, nor my owner. If you don’t want to know I exist when you’re at work—leave. I want to go see Cody. The only reason I called you just now was because you sent me running errands when the most precious person in my life was having surgery. You want me to trust you? Fuck you. You’re not trustworthy. We made an agreement—and I’m trying to live up to it. I would appreciate it if you just take my fucking virginity tomorrow, so we can get this clock running.”

He tightened his grip on her hair, but she refused to acknowledge the pain. “You know if I were the asshole you think I am, I’d have the lawyer on the phone right now canceling everything.”

“No! Please, Declan, please, sir. I’m sorry.”

The panic in her voice raised the timbre of her tone as if she would choke on it. She hated herself for her weakness.

“Calm down, Nyxie. I said
if
. I have no plans to release you from our agreement or to back out.”

She clamped her mouth shut wanting to point out his implied threat, but knew he had the power to keep her away from Cody if she kept arguing.

“I’m as calm as I’m going to get. May I,
please
, go see Cody now, sir?” she said flatly, refusing to let him see any of the emotions he claimed to crave.

Declan loosened his grip on her hair and took a small
step back but did not let go of her. The muscle in his jaw danced angrily.

“Do you still have my credit card or did you leave it at my house?”

“It’s in my purse.”

“Order yourself a pizza or something that can be delivered. If I get a chance to sleep tonight, I’ll text you and you can meet me.”

“I don’t want to sleep with you. I want to stay with Cody.”

“No. Dammit, Nyxie
. Do we have to fight about everything?” He took a full step back and released her. “You know, never mind, you stay here. I get off at 11:00 tomorrow. Meet me at my Jeep. Don’t skip breakfast.”

Her relief washed across her face. “Thank you, sir.”

26

Declan Stryker stepped away from the main desk in the ER confident that no one currently in the Emergency Department needed surgery. He found himself heading to the SICU to check on Nyxie—and to apologize. She was right. Although his motives were to keep her from experiencing stress while Cody had another operation, he had to admit he had no right to keep it a secret.

He arrived at Cody’s bedside and found no sign of her. He looked at the whiteboard on the wall to see which nurse had been assigned to Cody during Joseph’s night off. He glanced around the room for evidence she’d eaten and found none. No pizza box, no foam container, no paper bag with a fast food logo.

A nurse walked through the curtain and seemed startled to see him there.

“Where’s Ms. Carmichael?”

“Who?”

Who did she think he’d be looking for in a patient’s room but their family? “The boy’s sister.”

“Visiting hours were over ages ago. I shouldn’t have let her stay as long as I did.”

Her casual attitude annoyed the hell out of him. “Do you know where she went?”

The woman made an exaggerated shrug. “Home maybe? I don’t know, I didn’t ask.”

Declan unleashed his arrogant doctor side. “Well, maybe if you’d given a rat’s ass, you might’ve found out she lives in Chimera Flats and has no car.” He ran his hand through his hair imagining her walking from the hospital to his house. Her white flowing dress would be a beacon to a rapist—glaring the words,
“I don’t belong here. I’m vulnerable
.
” The new sandals would have worn blisters on her feet before she made it off hospital property. Christ.

Would she have tried to walk? Would she remember the way? Declan realized unless she came directly from his house to the hospital in the limo, she’d never gone directly back or forth. Could she even find her way? Did she know the address to give a cab driver?”

“Did she call a cab?” he asked the nurse.

“How would I know? Probably. She was on the phone almost the whole time she was here.”

Lotus and Reina always called between 6:30 and 8:00 which meant the nurse had kicked her out hours earlier.