The Love Series Complete Box Set (50 page)

“Fine then.” He pulls it up over his head from behind in one smooth motion. “But you’re still not getting laid.” He tosses the shirt at my face and we share a laugh.

He steps into the Jack-and-Jill bathroom that connects mine and Mel’s rooms and calls out, “Pink or purple?” It takes me a minute to realize that he’s asking about my toothbrush. “Reid, don’t be ridiculous. I can stand long enough to brush my teeth!”

He doesn’t even acknowledge my statement. He just repeats his question at which point I toss my hands in the air, giving into his antics. “Pink. Mine’s the pink one.”

He walks back into my room, toothbrush in one hand, upon which sits a dollop of tooth paste, and a cup of water in the other. He shoves the tooth brush in my face playfully. “The doctor said not to walk if you didn’t have to. I’m here so you don’t have to. Brush.” He instructs and I comply.

When he comes back a few minutes later, he smells minty fresh. “You didn’t use Mel’s toothbrush, did you? She’ll have a fit.” He shoots me an “are you kidding glare” and shakes his head no.

Arching an eyebrow in addition to the glare, he says, “My mouth has been all over your body, so I figured borrowing your toothbrush was not a huge issue.”

Thinking of the things he can do with his mouth—and oh lord, that tongue—is enough to silence me. He crawls into bed next to me and I curl around him. It’s almost like a routine—head on his chest, arm around his waist, leg hooked around his.

He starts running his fingertips gently through my hair and in mere minutes I’m drifting fast asleep.

Through a yawn, I tell him that I love him.

I feel him press his lips to my hair and say, “I love you too, beautiful girl. And I love that you’re having my baby. Now, sleep, Maddy. You need your rest.”

Chapter 12

Sunday December 16, 2012

I wake up before Maddy does, so I decide to go out to the kitchen and make us some breakfast. I pull on my jeans and look over at her curled up in her bed, wearing my shirt. I can’t help but think that she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I shake my head at my rather Romeo-like musings and quietly close the door behind me.

The whole mess from yesterday has me thinking about my mom all over again. No matter how much I want to push all thoughts of her from my head, I can’t. I know walking away from her, Joe and Katie wasn’t the right thing to do. It was an asshole move on my part, but I don’t want to deal with the pain. Over the years, I’ve gotten so good at keeping everything and everyone shut out, that the thought of letting them all in scares the shit out me.

Apparently, I’m also really good at running away too.

Maybe I should call Katie. Maybe I should go back there. Maybe I can at least start to talk about it. I can’t get my fucking head on straight. Dealing with my mom, Maddy and the baby, I’m just a fucking mess.

I know I’m a coward because rather than dealing with my mom, rather than forgiving her like I know I should do, I ran. I know I’ll have to face her soon, but part of me wants to just ignore it for now. I’ve got more important things to worry about anyway.

Pushing thoughts of my past down as far as I can, I make my way to the kitchen in search of something for breakfast. Thank goodness that Momma is away this weekend because walking into a kitchen with some shirtless guy rifling through your cabinets is not exactly a calming start to a Sunday morning. I pull out the eggs and bread. Just as I peek my head out from behind the fridge door, I see Mel leaning up against the door frame snickering at me.

She waves her pointer finger in front of her chest from side to side. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” She starts walking to me as she points to the eggs. “Those will make Maddy throw up in about two seconds flat.”

“Oh, shit. I had no idea. Thanks for the heads up.” I turn to place the eggs back in the fridge and hold up the bread. “Toast should be good, then right?”

As she nods, she says, “Yeah, just don’t burn it. That’ll definitely make her throw up.”

Mel busies herself with the coffee pot and I’m suddenly very thankful that she’s awake. Watching Maddy hurl all morning would definitely not have been a good start to the day.

As I’m about to pull two slices of bread out of the bag, Melanie places her hand on top of mine to stop me. “Why don’t you let her sleep a little bit? She’s been worrying herself sick all week about where you were and what would happen to you guys. Add in what happened yesterday and I think she could use as much sleep as she can get.”

She sits down at the small eat-in kitchen table and pats the chair next to her. “Sit down. Let’s chat.” Her words seem innocent enough, but I know that an inquisition is waiting for me.

She leans forward and steeples her hands together in front of her. “So, what gives, Reid? Why did you just up and leave her?”

I huff a small insincere laugh. “Is that what you think happened? You think I just up and left my pregnant girlfriend?” I look at her in disbelief, but a part of me knows that she’s right. Maddy may have pushed, but I didn’t push back.

Her eyes narrow in on my face. “Well, what else am I supposed to think? You were gone for a whole week and you never once tried to get in touch with anyone. No one knew where you were. Maddy was certain that she’d lost you forever and that she was going to be on her own with the baby. So, if you say you didn’t leave her, then please, clarify for me what exactly happened.” Her last words are more than a little sarcastic and snide, but I know Melanie well; she’s just protecting Maddy.

My lips curl at the corners thinking about how much she loves Maddy. I can’t help but agree with her, but I’ll be damned if she’s going to accuse me of not wanting to be with Maddy, of not wanting my baby.

I lean back in my chair and lace my fingers behind my head. Deliberately pausing to gather my thoughts pisses Melanie off something awful. She starts impatiently bouncing her knee up and down shaking the table as she does so. The coffee pot finishes brewing and I stand to make up our cups. I take my sweet ass time too.

I slide Mel’s cup in front of her as I sit back down in my chair. Her glare has intensified and she just looks at me expectantly. “Oh for Christ’s sake, Reid. Will you just start talking already?” She’s nearly yelling, but when she remembers that Maddy is still sleeping, she clamps her hand over her mouth.

I chuckle at her crazy over-protectiveness and finally relent in giving her the details she’s obviously in search of. “First, I didn’t leave her.” Mel’s only response is a highly arched eyebrow. She doesn’t say anything, but her facial expression is screaming “really?”

I hold my hands up in front of my chest in a mock gesture of surrendering. “Okay, fine. I did leave, but I never intended to walk out of her life. We were being really shitty to each other. And, yeah, it was a chicken shit thing to do, but in that moment it was easier to walk away than to fight.” She lets out a deep breath and seems to relax a little now that she at least knows that I never meant to hurt Maddy.

Melanie’s eyes soften and her face takes on a concerned look rather than an icy stare. “But, the baby, Reid. How could you walk out on your baby?” Her voice quivers with the pain I know I caused Maddy.

I nervously pick at my short finger nails in a desperate, yet futile, attempt at avoiding the question. Mel places her hand on top of mine to calm my nerves, but mainly to draw my attention back to the conversation. Our eyes meet across the table and I roll mine in frustration. I’ve had enough of this “feelings” shit over the last few weeks, but I know Mel isn’t going to let me get away with not talking to her.

I fold my arms across my chest before speaking. “You want the truth?” She just stares me down, as if she would actually accept anything other than the truth. “I was scared shitless. I’m only twenty-one years old. And Maddy is so mature and independent and amazing, but fuck, she’s only eighteen. We’re so young, and you can hate me all you want for walking away, but I was scared. So was Maddy, for what it’s worth. She was so scared she pushed me away. Told me I didn’t love her because I couldn’t forgive my mom.”

Melanie’s face contorts in surprise and confusion and I immediately realize my misstep.

“What does your mom have to do with it?” Her voice is calm and quiet as if she’s afraid of scaring off some kind of timid animal.

I shoot up out of my chair and clench my fists at my side. I want to punch the wall, but somehow I don’t think Mrs. Crane will appreciate a hole in her kitchen when she returns. After pacing around the small kitchen for a few minutes, I calm down enough to return to my chair and start talking.

I tell her everything. From Shane being gay, to me being disowned by my parents, to Katie’s recent calls, to my hesitance to contact my mom, to Maddy’s ultimatum, to my visit home last week—she just sits silently and takes everything in. I’m extremely surprised at how much easier it’s becoming to talk about this part of my life. Part of me can’t help but wonder if the people with whom I’m sharing it, have anything to do with the ease with which the story can now be told. Melanie and Jack, and of course Maddy, have worked their way into my life—Maddy into my heart. For the first time since Shane died, I finally realize that I have people who care about me, who matter to me and to whom I matter in return. It’s a strange, but not wholly unwelcome, feeling.

After I’ve finished saying my piece, Mel takes a few moments to gather her thoughts, before saying, “Well, that sure as hell is screwed up beyond anything. All I can say is that it’s
fucked
up.
” She emphasizes her last two words to make her point even clearer. “But, Reid,” her tone has softened a little, “don’t you realize how the world looks from Maddy’s point of view?”

I pause to consider her question. There’s nothing to consider. Maddy’s got everything under control. She’s calm and pretty much in the driver’s seat with everything. But there’s something in Melanie’s words that makes me second guess my initial assumption about Maddy’s character.

Melanie leans forward again across the table. “It’s more than just her parents dying, you know.” Her voice is barely above a hushed whisper. “When they died, it was unexpected.” I nod in acknowledgement of that detail; I already knew that.

“But what made their death truly traumatic was the stuff that came afterwards.” Melanie looks up to the ceiling as if she’s searching for some kind of answer, but when she looks back at me, her eyes are shining with tears. I realize she was just looking up to keep the tears at bay. “She lost everything. Her home, her friends—everything. She had to move in with a stranger who didn’t even really like kids. Aunt Maggie wasn’t horrible or anything, but when she took Maddy in, it was out of obligation, not out of love.” Mel pauses and puffs out a sarcastic laugh. “Aunt Maggie even claimed she was allergic to dogs, so even though Maddy had already lost everything, Aunt Maggie put Pepper, Maddy’s black lab, up for adoption. I’m not going to say that she mourned the loss of her dog more than her parents, but that really hurt her. That dog was her only link to unconditional love, and in the blink of an eye, her puppy was gone. Her parents were dead. There was no way she couldn’t accept the finality of that, but to watch something that is still living and breathing and loving you be taken away, I think that’s what really got to her on a deeper level.”

Mel studies the ceiling again before continuing. “I didn’t meet Maddy until middle school, you know? And by that time, she was really depressed and very withdrawn. Aunt Maggie just kept telling her to ‘snap out of it,’ but Maddy had a really hard time making friends. She never got Maddy into any kind of therapy or anything like that.”

I rub my hands over my face and through my hair. “I . . . I never knew that, Mel. I mean, the way you guys are with one another, I just thought you had known each other forever. I never realized she was in such a dark place for so long.” I can’t hide my shock. Over the last few months, Maddy and I have shared a lot, but she never told me all of this.

Mel’s kind eyes meet mine and she nods her head. “She was and it wasn’t pretty. It took her a few years, but finally she started to discover who she was, but even just a few months ago, when we were getting ready to leave for college, she still wasn’t able to believe that Momma and I loved her as part of this family. Maddy thought she wouldn’t have a home here after she started school. So you have to believe me, her pushing you away is more about her insecurities than your history.”

She takes a deep breath and says her next words carefully, precisely so that there is no way that I can misunderstand them. “She realizes that she was wrong, you know. She didn’t tell me about all of your past, but she admitted to pushing you away because you didn’t react kindly, for lack of a better word, to her being pregnant.” Shooting daggers in my direction, she points at me accusingly. “So cut her some slack, please. She hasn’t always been the strong, independent woman you fell in love with. There’s a very broken and battered little girl living in there, and every now and then she comes out for a visit.” Mel’s last words are soft and reflective. Hands clutched to her chest, I know that she’s reliving Maddy’s pain right here before me.