The Love He Craves (The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan Book 2) (43 page)

"But not you?"

“No. She liked me less than you do."

Dorothea had the good grace not to deny it. "Are you finished eating?"

Nyxie looked down at the soggy half eaten bowl of cereal, the V-8 that made her stomach hurt, and the milk that had no doubt grown tepid. Declan would not be pleased.

"Yes," Nyxie said, sliding her chair back so she could standup. “Tell Declan I'm going to go back to the RV to take a shower. I would really appreciate thirty minutes to myself."

Chapter 40

Nyxie was in no hurry to go back to the hospital room. She showered, dressed, and took extra care with her hair and makeup. She called Kylie to check on the kids, spending several minutes on the phone with each one, letting them know what had really happened—that the RV had not broken down, but they hadn't wanted to worry anyone when Declan had been hurt. When Nyxie suggested the kids go horseback riding again while they made the drive back, the children had begged off the notion with complaints of saddle sore bottoms.

When she could think of no other excuse to delay her return to the hospital, Nyxie picked out a change of clothing for Declan and made her way back to his room.

"… Two… One… There she is," Declan said looking up from his phone.

Although Nyxie was glad to see he now had one eye no longer bandaged, she was sorry she had missed the doctor. She would have wanted to hear what he had to say. If Declan told her at all, he might feel the need to paint a rosy picture, so she wouldn't feel as guilty.

“Using your family stalker app again?" she asked flatly, but didn't wait for an answer. "I brought you some clean clothes."

"I could've worn yesterday's shirt and shorts back to the RV. I hope you saved me some water, I need a shower."

"We can put a bag over your head to keep the bandages dry. I can hold it closed if we don't have tape."

Declan eyed her speculatively, the bloodshot whites bringing out the green of his gray green iris.

Nyxie's arms crossed over her chest and her mouth sealed into a tight line as she stepped away from the bedside.

Declan took in her closed off stance. "How was breakfast?"

"Peachy."

His very bloodshot eye pivoted to his mother before falling back on Nyxie, who was pointedly not looking at him.

"What happened?"

His mother was standing six feet away, why on earth would he think she would say anything in front of her. "Nothing."

"Nyxie, tell me."

Nyxie's mouth remained clamped shut.

"Would you like to spend some time on your knees until you feel like telling me?" he said in full Dom voice.

"Yellow," she said after a brief moment elapsed.

"We need a moment alone," he said to his parents. "I doubt the nurses are going to let me walk to the RV. Maybe you could pick me up in your rental car and drive me out there."

"Remember what I said," Roy said.

"If I decide to spank her, I'm not going to do it here."

"It's none of your business, Coach Stryker," Nyxie said. "If he spanks me, it's consensual."

Dorothea walked out first, followed by Roy who cast one last look at them before leaving.

Declan looked as if he were trying to suppress a laugh.

"Lower the bed rail so I can get up, please."

As soon as it was down, Declan threw his long muscular legs over the edge and stood up. He opened his arms to her and when she did not readily step into his embrace, he came to her and wrapped his arms around her, trapping her arms where they were.

"What happened?"

When she hesitated, his voice lowered to the tone he used when his patience was wearing thin. "Tell me or present. The choice is yours."

With her face pressed to his chest, she scowled. "Well, let's see," she said, her tone so sweet it oozed sarcasm. “You went full Dom on me in front of your parents and told me what to eat. That wasn’t a bit embarrassing. Why couldn’t you trust me to do my best?”

“Did you eat what I asked?”

She pushed out of his hold, throwing her arms up in frustration that he chose not to answer her question. Her arms crossed over her chest and her head and neck moved sideways in one of the oh-no-you-didn’t moves that only millennial females could master. "Oh no, don't jump ahead in my story. I'll get to that."

He chuckled. Apparently, he found angry Nyxie amusing. It didn’t help matters when he acted as if he were indulging her by listening to her story.

"Okay. What happened?" he asked, stepping back up to her and putting his arms around her again, tucking her wayward head under his chin.

"Let's see, after you humiliated me—"

"It's not as if they didn't already figure it out after walking in on you."

"Nevertheless, all the way down to the cafeteria, your mother is telling me I don't have to eat what you told me to eat—that she won't tell. But I'm trying to be a good sub and I tell her I want to comply. So we get down to the cafeteria and no omelets. But instead of coming up with a strategy to make my choices on the way down, I'm arguing with your mother and trying to figure out what I'm going to do if they don't have an omelet with spinach. So I ask if they have a salad bar because I figured the next best thing to spinach in my eggs, is boiled eggs in a spinach salad, and I don't even care for eggs in my salad, but I figured it would please you that I figured out a way to comply. Only they don't put their salad bar out until lunch time.

"So I grabbed my phone and searched for high iron foods. Red meats. No beef, just pork and I'm not sure if pork is a red meat because the pork industry says it's the other white meat. But I don't get it because I know you don't like it when I'm eating fatty meat, even though the sausage and the bacon both look delicious and whereas most women just crave chocolate during their periods, I crave nitrates and pasta too. I don't know why, but I do. Bacon, sandwich meat, hot dogs. But no, I skipped the meat for you. But the line is moving forward and I have to make up my mind and I'm checking the list:  nuts and seeds and steel cut oatmeal. The only oatmeal they have is instant and the only seeds I see are poppy seed on a bagel, but I doubt there are enough poppy seeds to have more than a speck of iron, and I know you avoid carbs and I don't know if I would like poppy seed and the line is moving up. I read on my phone that cereal is enriched with iron, so I grab a bowl of granola, hoping if it's not enriched with iron, maybe it has a couple of nuts. The milk was in a glass, so I have no idea if it's whole. Then I see a V-8 in the cooler and I take it, because maybe there is spinach in it and I'll get more iron, and your mom is waiting for me at the register. When we get to the table, I looked down at my meal:  no fruit, and the only protein in it is the milk, and when I look at the label on the V-8, there's no iron, and I've failed miserably, and your mom is happy because I couldn't comply, and I know she wants me to lie to you about it. Then your mother starts badgering me about our relationship, and when I got sick of defending it, I told your mother it was none of her business. When I took my vitamins, I realized I was running low so I sent a text to Emily asking if I need a prescription to get more. But instead of texting me back, she called asking how you were doing. So I tell her, and then I get my nerve up to ask her how to use a tampon—because I've never had anyone to ask and there are no instructions on the outside of the box, and I'm too cheap to buy something that I don't know if I can figure out on my own.

"Then your mother says I could have asked her—as if I would have—and because I have told Emily my mother was gone before I got my period, your mother thinks it's okay to ask me why my mother wasn't around. Since I already told her once to mind her own business, I didn't think I should do it again, so I told her, Daddy said she ran off with a truck driver. But she's smart like you and picks up on the fact that I don't believe that—so I have to tell her that they argued that night and she says maybe they argued because she was leaving him. So then I have to tell her she wouldn't have paid to have the electricity turned on if she was leaving, and she would have taken Cody. And she says but not you? As if either of us needed to clarify. And I said no, she hated me more than you do.

"That shut her up. At least she didn't deny it."

"All that?" he said with a chuckle. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, by the time I got off the phone with Emily, my cereal was soggy, my milk wasn't cold and I accidentally pick up the
Spicy
V-8 and now my stomach hurts and I'm still hungry."

"Nyxie," he said, pulling back a few inches to look into her tight-lipped, narrowed-eyed, pink-cheeked face. "Put your arms around me."

She unfolded her stubborn-stance arms and when she slipped them beneath his, he pulled her close. "I'm sorry my mother confronted you. I'll talk to her."

"Oh, I'm not just mad at her. You're the one who made a show of dominating me in front of them."

"I wanted to make sure you were increasing your iron during your period. When we get home, I want to do your blood work again—maybe test you for H. pylori."

"What's that?"

"The virus that causes stomach ulcers."

If her eyes hadn't been closed, she would've rolled them. Declan always seemed to be looking for something medically wrong with her. Surely, it wasn't unusual for spicy food to upset a person's stomach.

"A slight smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she realized worrying about her health was one of the ways he demonstrated his love for her. When she gave him a squeeze, her hand slipped into the opening of his hospital gown. Both hands instantly sought his naked buttocks beneath the loose fitting garment.

"You should always dress like this," Nyxie said. She gave one cheek a slight slap then squeezed both globes.

"I doubt anyone would notice if the gown came up missing."

She pulled away, searching his face. "Is my Carmichael DNA wearing off on you?"

"So, you're saying you don't want me to dress like this? I bet we could come up with a lot of naughty nurse Nyxie games."

"Or dirty Dr. Declan games?" she countered. She pantomimed pulling on a plastic glove even though the real thing was only a step away. "Bend over, it's time for your prostate check."

Declan bent over the bed, the gown falling open, revealing his fine ass.

"Ew! I saw Declan's butt," she said imitating Reina the day she had regained custody and she had seen Cody's bottom when they were helping him back to bed.

Declan stood up, momentarily getting caught in his IV lines, and wagged his finger at Nyxie. "Rude young ladies must be punished."

Nyxie squealed and darted to the other side of the bed. "You can't catch me—all I have to do is stay on your blind side!"

A soft knock sounded on the door and Declan quickly climbed back in bed. "Come in," he said, winking at Nyxie.

A middle-aged nurse entered with a handful of papers. "What do you say we take out that IV, go over your discharge orders and get you out of here?"

Chapter 41

Coach and Major staked out the front seat of the rental car, leaving the back seat open for Nyxie and Declan. Rather than sit all the way across the car from Declan, Nyxie chose the middle seatbelt. When he put his arm around her shoulders, Nyxie closed her eyes and snuggled against his side. He kissed the top of her head and when she felt him tapping her arm, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Give me your hand," he said and she reached up to the arm around her and laced her fingers with his. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.

A wide smile spread across her lips. "I love you too," she replied in soft tones.

In the front seat, Dorothea used her phone to locate and give driving directions to the nearest chain drugstore. "Would you pay attention, Roy," Dorothea snapped. "You're in the wrong lane. The directions said turn right onto the frontage road."

Nyxie glanced up at the rearview mirror and saw Roy watching them. Her grin slowly faded.

"Yes, Major," he said with a crisp salute. "I was just watching the lovebirds in the backseat."

"That's not love," Dorothea said under her breath.

Nyxie felt Declan's body tense and erected her position.

"Let's have it, Mom. You've been waiting to say something all morning."

Dorothea placed her phone in a cup holder and her arms crossed her body in a stubborn stance.

"It's none of
my
business,” she said, and Nyxie wondered if she said it to throw her words back at her.

"That's never stopped you before," he said.

"Fine! In your whole life, I've never been ashamed of you until now."

Declan made a show of shaking his head and sighing but Nyxie caught the look of hurt that momentarily flashed across his face.

"He's not abusing me," Nyxie said, trying to defend Declan.

"Nyxie, stay out of this," Declan said. "I don't need your approval, Major. We are both adults, capable of making our own decisions."

"Oh, please! I don't know why Nyxie would agree to it, but I suspect it's a combination of low self-esteem and the fact that she knows you are so far out of her league that she'll agree to anything to keep you—maybe she's a bit of a gold digger, and she'll do anything to get a few knickknacks and designer purses."

Declan turned his eye to his wife. "Is that why you love me—for my money?"

Nyxie shook her head. When she spoke, she spoke softly to him. "I love you for your handsome face and hot body. I love you for the great sex and because you are nice to me. You’re my best friend."

Declan tilted her head up and kissed her gently on the lips, making her hum with pleasure.

"Men don't hit women, Declan."

"Mrs. Stryker, you don't understand. I-I am a…" Nyxie took a deep breath and started over. "I'm a masochist. I
like
pain. I asked for the bruises on my back because I wanted to see what it would look like and what it would feel like to be caned. He gave me the bruises on my bottom after we came down the mountain. I know it was cathartic for both of us. For Declan, it helped him get out his anger and frustration. And for me, it helped me with my guilt because I needed to be punished for hurting him. It helped ground me and take my mind off the panic I felt."

Dorothea stayed silent for a few seconds and as she began to speak, the GPS interrupted her with more driving directions. "Mark my words, one of these days you're going to take it too far and she's going to have you arrested for spousal abuse. It's going to ruin your career."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt Nyxie. We have safeguards in place in case I get too rough."

"Onyx," Roy said, using the name she went by when she was in his class. "If he ever changes, and becomes abusive, you call me—I don't care what time of day it is—I will either come get you and the kids or I will get Declan out, whichever you prefer.”

Nyxie nearly giggled. Here sat the man who had made her life miserable in P.E., now being protective of her—against his own fair-haired child, no less. She lifted her hand to cover her overbite as she smiled at him through the mirror. "Thank you, Coach Stryker. That's really kind, but I don't see it ever being necessary."

His eyes shifted from Nyxie to Declan. "Remember what I said earlier."

"There it is," Dorothea interrupted, pointing across the street to the Walgreens at almost the same time as the map app started giving directions again.

"Shut that damn thing off, it's driving me nuts."

The conversation ended as they entered the parking lot.

Dorothea had her seatbelt off before Roy had the car in park. "I'll go with you, Nyxie, in case you have any questions," she said, twisting around to look at her daughter-in-law. "That is unless Declan needs to control what kind of tampons you buy."

Nyxie gave him a save-me-from-your-mother look.

"Yeah, get the kind that will make her dance with joy on the beach in white pants."

"Trust me, there's no such thing, son," Roy said and received a light punch in the arm from his wife. He laughed. "No one said I was talking about you. Babe, get me a candy bar. Something with nuts in it.”

"You need candy like a hole in your head. Aren't you coming in?"

“Nah, I need to call Ronnie about starting the two-a-days without me.”

~*~

Declan carried his prescriptions past the shelves filled with all manner of goodies, seasonal stock, and over-the-counter meds and supplements, to the pharmacy department in the back of the store.

"I'll be with you in a sec," a female pharmacy tech said as she rang up a customer at the drive through.

"No rush," Declan said. He turned around and casually examined the merchandise on the shelves closest to him. His focus hopped from one bottle of organic vitamins to the next as his mind unconsciously evaluated if any of his family members or he would benefit from them.

"Sorry about that," the same woman said. "May I help you?"

"I need to get these…," he said turning around to face the woman.

Oh fuck, Willa.

"… Filled," he said belatedly.

Willa, the sub that he had canceled meeting with when he married Nyxie, reached across the counter and took the papers from him. She hadn’t looked him in the face yet. With the patch over his eye, the splint on his nose and the swelling and bruises, maybe she wouldn't recognize him.

Perhaps
he
should've recognized Willa more quickly. She still wore her brownish-black hair in a short jagged shag that appeared intentionally disheveled. She had fashioned a wide scarlet red ribbon into a choker with a miniature lock, that might have come off a child's diary, hanging from it. She wore slacks and a T-shirt with the store’s most recent promotion across her chest and a hanging nametag confirmed that she was Willa. Heavily mascaraed lashes and thick black eyeliner framed crystal clear blue eyes. Scarlet red lipstick that seemed out of place for daytime or a service industry job, made her stand out as the beauty she was. He could easily admit she was attractive—most people would find her prettier than Nyxie, but to him, no woman would ever be more beautiful than his wife.

She moved over to the computer to enter his information. His name was printed across the pages. It was too late to take them back and go elsewhere.

He saw the moment recognition dawned on her. Her whole face lit up with a smile.

"Sir! What are you…?" Her words trailed off as her eyes fell upon his injured face. "Sir, what happened to you?"

"Rock-climbing accident," he said in soft tones. "Look, Willa—"

"How did you find me? It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you had a change of heart. But—it was last weekend you told me to take my vacation. I'm not sure I can get any more time off," she said, barely coming up for air. Reaching out and briefly touching his arm, she dropped her voice to a whisper and smiled conspiratorially. "But maybe I can call in sick."

"Willa, stop. I didn't know you worked here. I just came in to get my prescriptions filled."

Declan’s head pivoted to look down the aisle as he saw someone walking towards them. Thankfully, it was only a customer.

"But since you're here in town, we should get together this evening."

“As soon as you fill the scripts, we're on our way home."

Willa drew herself up and took a half step back. "
We
? You and your new sub?"

Declan didn't want to rub salt in the wound. He had never had an emotional bond to Willa, not like he did with Nyxie. They had only spent a weekend together a year earlier but until Nyxie came back into his life, he had kept in touch over Skype and the phone, and those calls had often been sexual, carrying on what had started in a BDSM chat room and during his visit."

"You told me you worked in insurance. I had no idea you work here."

She shrugged. "I guess you weren't the only one who lied."

Declan said nothing. He didn't care that she had lied, except that had he known she worked at Walgreens, he would have gone elsewhere to fill his prescriptions.

When Willa finished submitting the prescriptions for the pharmacist to fill, she remained at the counter. "So how have you been?" she asked, placing a hand over his where it rested on the countertop.

"Good," he said, refusing to elaborate. He patted her hand twice before pulling away and putting his hands down at his sides. "Did you find a club to show off your new dress?"

He knew she'd understand he was referring to a BDSM club. When they last spoke, she had told him she had purchased a new dress for his upcoming visit, despite his insistence that he wasn't into fetish wear.

"No, I decided to take a staycation. After being dumped so unexpectedly, I wasn't really in the mood."

"You're never going to meet someone if you don't put yourself out there," he said.

"I thought I had met my soulmate."

Declan assumed she meant him but didn't want to imply he had taken it that way.

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Is this where you say, ‘It's not you, it's me?’” Her tone sounded like an accusation, her eyes narrowed and her red lips tightened.

"I wouldn't say that. We had a good time. I was looking forward to seeing you again. But…."

"But? But what?"

"I've never been in love before—not even close. I wish you could be happy for me. I thought we were friends."

"Friends? I thought we were lovers, sir."

Lovers? Friends with benefits? Or just a hook up? He would have to go with C. Christ, he just wanted her to drop it. He had never had a reason to treat her with anything but respect, but she was beginning to tick him off.

"Don't make it more than it really was."

"Don't you believe in fate? If we weren’t meant to be together, why are you standing here? There are no coincidences. When you're finished with your new sub, sir, I may not be here waiting for you."

Declan resisted throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "Willa, stop calling me sir, and for god’s sake, stop waiting for me to change my mind. I don't want to be an asshole, but I will if you need me to make it clear. We are over."

He watched her face shift, as realization dawned on her. She looked like she might cry—something that normally made him hard. But he hadn’t wanted to cause a scene at her workplace. Christ, he hadn't wanted this confrontation at all. Suddenly, her expression shifted and she smiled.

"Willa, there's a customer at the window," the pharmacist said. He was tall and in his mid-30s and Declan had been vaguely aware that the man had been watching them.

She ignored the man. "Is this a test? I will strip down and present right here if it will show you what a submissive girl I can be."

Declan was beginning to understand that Willa might be a little needy. He wondered if this qualified as a crazy ex-girlfriend story. Too bad there was no one he could tell it to.

"Willa, this is not a test. This is the last time you will see me. You deserve a full-time relationship with a master who can care for you the way you deserve. I am not that man."

Suddenly, Nyxie stepped up to his side. Had he been aware of her approach, he might have been able to keep her away with a look. Bad timing, Nyx.

"Hey," Nyxie said, her sweet smile faded as she made eye contact with him. "Something wrong? Don't they have your medicine?"

"Did you get what you needed?" he asked, noticing her hands were empty.

"I took it out to the car already. I managed to sneak a Snickers bar in at the register for your dad. He’s out there eating it now."

"Is this my replacement?" Willa asked in a slightly shrill tone, making an obvious show of visually raking Nyxie. One side of her lip lifted in a sneer.

The condescending attitude angered Declan. "No, Willa, you were my surrogate for her. You were the closest I could find until I could locate the girl I have wanted since high school. My relationship with you has always had an expiration date. You were a part-time relationship until I had time to devote to this one. I had no idea she would walk into the ER one day."