The Lost Years (The Guardians Book 4) (18 page)

“Oh, God. No! No, God! Please!” The cries that came from Dina were painful and loud. So loud they brought Uri rushing back inside.

He stopped for a moment, taking in the scene before scooping up Dina into his arms. “I know it hurts.”

Dina ignored his comfort, trying to pull away from him, reaching out for Raimie’s dead body. Saliva flew out from the corners of her mouth as she wildly sobbed, “I love you. Oh, God I love you so much. Why did you have to die?”

Uri finally managed to shift the petite, flailing girl’s body over his shoulder, and sweep her from the tombs. Her haunting and painful moans carried all throughout Iron Gate.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Haim asked, his eyebrows rising.

“Exactly what I said, she’s gone! I went to her room to make sure she was all right after everything that went down with Raimie, and all that was there was some insane note,” Uri exclaimed.

“Wait, she left a letter?”

“Yes, but it makes absolutely no sense.”

“Well, what did it say?”

“Here, read it for yourself. Maybe you can figure out what the hell she’s talking about.”

Uri,

I want you to know that meeting you, in person, and getting to know you has meant the world to me. You showed me a glimpse into who you are, and I can see that you have grown into an amazing man. One that is sure and confident of who he is, and who cares about the people in his life. In the future, your friends will need someone like you, so please, be strong.

Everything has changed now that Raimie is gone. I can’t explain, all I can say is that there is no longer a need for me to be here. I have failed as a keeper and now I must report back to find out what is to be done with me.

Don’t come after me. I wish I could have saved you all, but I wasn’t as strong as you.

-Seraphine

Haim pushed the paper back into Uri’s hands. He said nothing, unsure what to make of the words.

“What does she mean?” Uri asked, examining the paper closely for the tenth time since discovering it. “She said meeting me in person meant the world to her, like she already knew who I was. Why would she say that?”

“Man, I don’t know. I’m as lost as you are,” Haim replied, scratching his head.

“She talks about my future like she knows it. And what about the part where she says she failed as a keeper? When did she fail? I never even knew what the hell the weapon was.”

“You’re the one that was sucking face with the girl, how am I supposed to know what she’s talking about? You really have no clue?”

“Show a little respect,” Uri growled, slapping Haim in the chest with the back of his hand. “It wasn’t like that. Sera is different.”

“Whatever you say.”

“I’m serious, she’s special.”

“Aren’t they all?” Haim asked with an elbow to the side.

“Shut up! All right? I can’t explain it, there’s something about her, it’s like she can see me when nobody else can.”

“Oh, man, stop, I’m going to tear up over here. Or maybe I should bust out in a verse of Wind Beneath My Wings.”

“I am seriously going to punch you in the face.”

“Okay, I’m just kidding, chill out.”

“I need to tell Michael, we have to gather a search party to go out and look for her.”

“But her letter said not to come looking for her,” Haim pointed out casually.

“Her letter said a lot of stuff and I think I deserve a few answers. Michael will know where we should start,” Uri stated.

“What will I know?” Michael asked, approaching the two.

“Thank God. It’s Seraphine,” Uri began.

“Who?” Michael asked furrowing his brow.

“The one who saved me after Rampart,” Uri answered, annoyed his mentor was unaware of the woman who had recently captured his attention.

“Oh, yes, of course. What about her?” Michael inquired.

“She’s missing,” Uri exclaimed.

Michael’s expression quickly turned to one of concern. “How long has she been missing?”

“I don’t know, a day maybe.”

“Did anyone see what happened?” Michael probed.

“Well, no—” Uri started.

“She left a note,” Haim interjected.

“Wait a second, what? So, she left of her own accord?”

“Yes, but something must be wrong. Her letter was cryptic and none of it makes sense. I know she wouldn’t just leave like that,” Uri argued.

“We leave her alone, Uri, is that understood? If the girl chose to leave, it was her choice to make and we don’t pursue her,” Michael commanded, turning to walk away.

“Like with Gabe?” Uri snapped.

Michael slowly turned back, glaring at the young man he had nurtured for so many years, now standing tall and challenging him. Puffing out his chest and moving in close to his face, Michael sternly replied, “Yes, exactly like Gabe. We do not make the choice for other people. They can either be a part of what we are here or not.”

“Well, I don’t accept that,” Uri replied, not shifting his stare.

“I don’t care whether you accept it or not, it’s simply how it is. A war has begun, Uri, and we do not have the time or the man power to seek out people who do not want to be here. The same goes for you. You’re either on board with us or you can leave.”

Uri suddenly shifted from anger and frustration to a look of hurt. Michael could see his words had wounded him.

“We need you, son, but this fight’s going to go on even if you’re not here. I know it’s hard to let people go. I miss Gabe more than any of you could possibly realize, and now I have to bury poor Raimie. I don’t want to lose anyone else, but this is how things are. Can we count on you?” Michael asked, extending his hand.

Uri looked to Haim, who offered a shrug, unsure if anything he could say would help the situation. Looking back to Michael, Uri answered, “I’ll fight for the Guardians, but I will never stop looking for her.”

“You do what you need to,” Michael said before once again turning and walking away.

“What are you going to do?” Haim asked once their leader was out of ear shot.

“It looks like right now there’s not much I can do. I’ll find her though, one day.”

“I’m sorry, man,” Haim added, seeing the unfamiliar pain on his friend’s face.

“Don’t be. I’m not giving up on Sera; I know I’ll find her again,” Uri added confidently.

Sophie ran her fingers across the array of beauty products on the desk. After Michael had found out about what happened with Raimie, he had a room set up with some belongings he thought would bring Dina comfort. Dina was not one to apply a lot of make up to her face, but she did like to have all of the essentials that a beauty queen would require at her disposal, just in case. She had once confided in Sophie that her mother was in a Miss America pageant when she was little. One of the things she remembered about her was how much she enjoyed looking beautiful. Sophie always assumed that the overly frilly atmosphere she immersed herself in was a way to stay close to her mother.

“You need to eat something,” Sophie insisted, pushing the tray of food closer to Dina.

Dina didn’t answer; she simply rolled over in her bed, turning her back on her friend.

“Come on, I’m serious, you can’t keep going on like this. I know you’re hurting, sweetheart, but you have to eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” Dina moaned in a soft voice.

“Well, that’s impossible; you’ve barely eaten anything in days. You have to be hungry.”

Dina remained quiet, curling tighter into the fetal position. Standing and walking around to the other side of the bed, Sophie was determined that she would snap her friend out of this spiraling, self-destructive decent she was currently in. Taking a seat directly in front of Dina, Sophie reached forward and placed a hand on her arm to keep her from turning away so easily.

“We all loved him, Dina.”

“Just don’t, please.”

“I’m serious. Do you think you’re the only one hurting right now? Raimie’s death has left a huge hole in all of our lives. Uri’s a wreck.”

“Uri? Yeah, you all lost so much,” Dina scoffed.

“That’s not fair,” Sophie defended her words. “All I was trying to say is that you’re not the only one hurting right now. It would make all of us feel a lot better if we at least knew you were taking care of yourself,” Sophie explained.

“Let me tell you exactly what I’m going through. Raimie wasn’t just some boyfriend. We were together for years and we were going to get married one day. No one understood me like he did. Everyone sees pink and fluffy, but he knew my shadows. In the entire world, only he saw me for who I really was and he loved me for it.”

“I get it. He loved you and you loved him. I love Gabe, but sometimes we have to let go of the things we love because it’s what’s best.”

“Gabe? Did you turn Gabe into a horrible monster and then have to shove a blade through his skull?”

“No—I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same, but—”

“You’re right, it’s not the same! I loved him so much I was willing to die to save him and instead I had to shove a blade through his skull. When I talk about him it feels like there’s a steel knife in my windpipe. I can’t breathe.”

“You did what you had to do, Dina,” Sophie tried to alleviate her friend’s raging guilt, but to no avail.

“Jesus, you don’t get it, do you? Had he tried to eat me instead of going after Seraphine I would have let him. I only killed him because I couldn’t let someone else die from what I had created. I wish he would have attacked me.”

“Don’t say that!”

“Why not? I probably would have liked the way it hurt. I would have welcomed death by his hands. To know my life was ending so I could be with my beloved again. You wouldn’t understand.”

“You have to quit talking like that, Dina. You’re scaring me.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“I’m just trying to help,” Sophie pleaded.

“Well, stop it, just stop! I desecrated the body of the man I love; I created a monster that murdered someone. It doesn’t matter what you say, Neru’s death will always be my fault. Did you know I found out she had a little brother?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Everyone’s talking about what I did. When I told him I was sorry for what had happened to his sister, he pissed his pants. The crazy bitch that used dark magic and got his sister killed scares the hell out of the kid, and I don’t blame him,” Dina laughed; it was the only reaction she had left.

“I’m—” Sophie tried to think of something comforting to say, but she had nothing to offer.

“I got his sister killed and now, apparently, I haunt the poor kid. This is so much more than you could ever understand, Sophie. My selfishness lost me a piece of my soul and I won’t ever get that back. If all of those things weren’t enough, I had to kill the only man I will ever love. So pardon me if I don’t want to bounce back so the rest of you can feel better.”

Sophie said nothing, there was nothing she could day. Dina sat up, twisting in the bed, shoving the tray of food and sending it flying across the room. “Now, get out!”

“Dina—” Sophie began, her voice laced with heartbreaking pity and sympathy.

“I said get out! Now!” Dina screamed, her face turning a bright red.

Sophie fled from her friend’s sight, pulling the door closed behind her. She cried, heaving for breath as she ran down the corridor, not making eye contact with anyone she passed. She rushed up the familiar small stairwell, finding a refuge in her small room of secrecy.

Her thoughts were flooded with Dina and Raimie. She closed her eyes, remembering what they looked like when they were together. They were happy. Always laughing and joking with each other. The more Sophie thought about things, the more she realized that when they were apart, it was almost like they had been in off mode. They would simply move through their lives, get through the day until they were reunited. But when they were together, they would both light up, their eyes would sparkle, and they made the people around them warm. Sophie wondered if their group would ever have warmth again.

It didn’t take long for her thoughts to shift to Gabe. Was he that for her? Would she never find happiness after him? Sophie’s heart began to race. Perhaps she would turn out just like Dina, alone and miserable in her bed, never wanting to eat or look at anyone else’s face ever again. When you lose someone that is like oxygen to you, how do you continue to breathe? Sophie knew what had to be done. She would go and tell Gabe that she had her memories back and that she wanted him to come back to Iron Gate with her.