The Lost Trucker (The Trucker Saga) (4 page)

“Why does bad have to feel so good…”

   “Faith, is your shift over yet? If so, can I walk you home so we can make some plans for tomorrow?” Ryder asks as I walk past him and back behind the counter to drop some dishes in the buckets.

   “Yeah, actually my shift is just ending. Give me a minute and I’ll go clock out.” I start to untie my apron from around my waist and walk through the swinging doors back into the kitchen and office area.

   Now don’t think too far into this dinner, Faith. It is just dinner!

I keep telling myself, which is the same thing I have been telling myself since he asked me the day before yesterday!

  
I walk back to the kitchen to see Layla leaning on the counter and she is talking right at Ryder, “Don’t you fucking go there. You’re still a little punk, but you’re my brother. Don’t you…” she stops talking because she notices that Ryder is staring right at me with a smile on his face.

  “You ready, babe?” He reaches out and grabs my hand, all I can do is look over my shoulder a little bit and give a small wave to Layla as we walk out.

   “You and I will talk tomorrow morning, princess. Bright and early!” Layla says with her smart ass tone.

*****

    Ryder and I start to walk across the parking lot towards the run down motel that I have been staying in. It is such a dump and doesn’t smell all that great either.

“So, what made you become a truck driver? Is it something that you love and could see yourself doing forever?” I ask Ryder as we walk along in silence, but he doesn’t say anything for several moments and I think that maybe I hit a nerve or something.

    “Well, I was kind of forced into trucking by my dad. See the people, what he, ummm… How do I explain this? My dad was into…ummm…. bad shit. And since I was the youngest and was always around I was molded into what he wanted. That’s why everyone said I was going to become my father. But that is a different story for a different time.” I can tell that he's trying to prevent himself from letting any emotion show through as he talks about his father.

   “Oh, well. Sometime you can finish telling me. But here is my wonderful room. So I will see you tomorrow, at four pm for dinner right?” I look up at him and I see those amazing sandy brown eyes look down at me while he nods his head.

  “Yep, so be ready at 4. I will pick you up in front of the truck stop, and no we aren’t taking my truck. I will borrow Layla’s car. So dress warmly and comfy. See you in the morning beautiful.” He leans in to either hug me or kiss me but I just step out of the way and into my doorway. He stumbles forward and I start snickering.

“Told you it wasn’t going to be
THAT
easy to win me over, a dinner is just dinner but you add touching and feeling into it and it becomes more. Goodnight Ryder.” I smile at him warmly and close the door behind me.

*****

BANG BANG BANG

What in the hell is that?
I sit up in bed and try and figure out if I am dreaming or if this is really happening.

BANG BANG BANG BANG

Holy cow! Yeah, that is real and it isn’t a dream.  Someone is really at my front door. Knocking rather loudly, I look at the clock and it is 7:30am.

  I jump out of bed and see that I am presentable enough to answer the door.

  Layla! She half pushes herself into the door the second I open it. “Umpf, well good morning to you too Layla! What the hell is all this about you do realize that it is 7:30am. I don’t even think the dead are awake right now. Which is what I was till you came knocking so god damn loud.” I say in my best early morning bratty voice.

  “I don’t give two shits and a fuck honey. You and I are going to have a little chit chat about you and my dear little brother. Now before you say anything sit down.” She's brought coffee and donuts, and tells me to tuck in while she talks and I listen. Her voice is so motherly and I can't help but wonder why she never had any of her own children.

I inhale deeply and I can smell the coffee. It doesn’t smell burnt like the stuff at the truck stop. That coffee would make a spoon stand up straight in it.

  “So mom” I say sarcastically “What would you like to talk about? Oh, let me guess, it’s about Ryder.” I ask her with a snide tone because I know what she is about to say.

  “Look smarty pants, I know that you think you’re hot shit and that no one can breakdown the wall that you have built around
yourself but you need to know what you’re getting into with Ryder. I am not telling you this just because he is my brother but because I look upon you like a daughter. I will always be here for you, but I don't want to have to pick up the pieces after you get your heart broken, I don't want to see you suffer.”

Her words are so obviously heartfelt that I start to feel the back of my eyes start to burn, what the hell? How is she making me feel so emotional? No one has ever gotten me close to crying except for Beau.

“Layla, I…I don’t know what to say. There is something about Ryder, I am drawn to him it’s like my soul wants him and needs him. I have never felt this with anyone else.” I say with raw emotion and am almost in tears. “The last time I was drawn to someone, and in hindsight, it was only half as much as this was when I was 15 and he shattered my heart.”

  “Oh honey, don’t cry. It’s gonna be okay. Why
are you crying baby doll?” She asks as she pulls me into her arms and I haven’t broken down like this since I caught Beau in the worst possible way, a way that has changed me for the rest of my life.

  “I have been so…so..hurt…I can’t trust anyone. No guy is ever going to want me because of what has happened in my past. Even if I wanted to follow my heart instead of my head, you have nothing to worry about with Ryder; he will figure it out sooner or later that I am not worth his time.” My sobs start to come out a little bit louder.

  “Whoa! Where the hell have you been lately? Do you see how those nasty truckers all look at you; you’re so beautiful. You have an amazingly toned body, nice rack, tantalizing eyes and your hair is so amazingly perfect! You don’t need to change shit about this body or yourself. Trust me, I know my little shit of a brother and he has more than taken notice of you. But honey bear please don’t fall for him.”

She is such an amazing woman, she has such a great way of putting things into words and I love the way she calls me ‘honey’ and all the other small ways she shows her affection for me. I feel like I have a mother in my life or at least I know what it feels like to have a mother figure. 

  Layla lets out a huge sigh and puts her hand on my shoulder and lifts my chin up with her other hand and looks right in my eyes.

  “Just promise me that you will keep your guard up as long as you can and know that he is not the one for you to fall in love with. That way he won't shatter you as much. He won't break your heart if you don't let him.” She almost has an angry look on her face when she says that.

“Also, I want you to start packing up your shit. I am getting you out of this shit hole.” She tosses a key on the bed as she stands up to leave. “That’s the key to your new apartment above the machine shop of the Choke and Puke, it’s yours. You can work part time for your rent and food. I will pay you the other half of your time in cash so you can have money. How’s that sound?” she raises her eyebrow and looks at me.

I jump up and throw my arms around her neck, “You're amazing Layla! Thank you so much. I will start moving in this afternoon!” I am so excited that I barely hear her leave and close the door. Hell yeah! I have an actual apartment. Oh no! I forgot to ask if it has any furniture because I have no money to furnish a place like that.
                I jump into the shower and then I start getting all my stuff together to move over to the machine shop; which is on the backside of the big lot where the truck stop is. I will be even closer to work so I can sleep in more and I will be closer in case Ryder wants to stop by for the night.

Really Faith?? You don’t even know him to be thinking like that! 

  I throw my coat on and grab my backpack and bag of clothes, push my ear buds in my ears and turn on
Pantera – Cemetery Gates
and I head for the main office of the motel to turn in my key.

Can you dance??

  So my life seems to be making a little headway here, just a few months ago I had tons of money and I wasn’t worried about anything. I got kicked in the junk by my loving brother Jax. Who supposedly did it because our daddy is sick; I don’t know if that is a bunch of bullshit or if it is real. Either way I am still bitter about it and worried about my daddy of course.

  But it seems like life is coming together, I was finally able to breakdown in front of someone and get a little bit of comfort so that helps a little and it even means that my feelings about Layla being a mother figure were right. She is very warm and caring and I can tell that when she loves, she does it with her whole heart just like I do.

  I walk up the steep set of stairs on the outside of the machine shop that leads up to what is my new place. I squeal a little bit inside. I am so happy to be given this opportunity. I have to think of a way to thank Layla.

  I sling my purse over my shoulder so that I can unlock the door and to my surprise it isn’t locked. I push open the door and say “Hello?” at the same time and wait to make sure I don’t hear anyone inside; when I don’t hear anyone I walk in.

The first thing that hits me is the smell of roses and lavender, which reminds me a little of home.

  I stop two steps into the place and drop everything in my hands and look around the smallish room that is decorated in brand-new everything. It reminds me of a show home. There is enough room for one generously overstuffed couch and a small arm chair. They look so comfortable, the kind where
when you sit down you don’t want to move again.

One wall has the front door and a window with beautiful frosted glass on each side, you can see all the way out the back door from the front d
oor the fields of wheat beyond. In the summer I can imagine the doors open and the breeze off the field coming through. 

Light oak colored hardwood floors run the whole length of the place. The walls are painted in light beige, blending with the hardwood floors and color of the couch, it looks amazing! The small fleur de lis print on the couch and chair add just a touch of femininity to the room. 

  Just past the living room is a small dining table with 3 chairs and it is pushed up against the wall just under a pass through to the kitchen. The pass through has a set of white plastic wood effect shutters to use if you want to close the hatch. The stunning flowery smell is coming from the shelf of the pass through - there is a room freshener

OMG
it's in the shape of a Semi Truck. I can't help but giggle at such a masculine thing smelling so pretty.

The kitchen is galley-style not my ideal kitchen but I can finally start cooking for myself again if I want to. Off the kitchen and through a sliding glass door is a fairly good size deck that has barbeque and patio furniture. Not that cheap plastic furniture that melts in the summer, but a set of metal furniture with fancy fret work on the legs and seat backs.

The cushions on the seats were a putrid green, hmm, I think they'll have to go.  When I walk further in, there is a door open and…
OMG! Are you kidding me?
I think to myself.

I am greeted with a large king size bed that has lacy curtains hanging from the ceiling giving it the illusion of being a canopy bed. It has deep purple and black sheets. Egyptian cotton if I am correct.

There are splendid black throw rugs either side of the bed.  They look so luxurious with their long pile that they just beg you to stand on them bare foot.  On the side where the door is there is a huge bay window with a seat scattered in deep purple cushions.

I can just see myself curled up there reading a book on my kindle in my down time.
Whenever I actually get some!

A good size closet with mirrors and doors is on the other wall with another door. I walk into an average size en-suite bathroom, good size tub with jets built for two and it is a shower/tub combo. It is a Jack and Jill bathroom that connects with another very small bedroom and just outside the door of that room is a half bath for guests. This place is pretty spacious for where it is located.

I kind of worried about the noise from downstairs but it seems pretty quiet.

But I really want to know who decorated this place, this stuff is amazing. Everything from the towels down to the napkins is brand new.

When I wasn't smelling flowers I was smelling the fresh wooden floors, the faint odor of the paint or the linen on the bed, and don't even get me started on the plush towels! Everything smells so fresh and new. I am pulled out of my daze by a knock on the door.

  “Just a second.” I call out as I walk towards the door and move my bags out of the way to open the door.

  “Ryder, what are you doing here? How did you know I was here? Are you stalking me?” I fire out the questions at him, seriously though!

  “This place is amazing!” I grin from ear to ear.

  “Well, Layla and I wanted to make sure that you felt at home. You said that you were feeling more at home here and when I talked to Layla about you needing a place to stay…” He trailed off and looked me in the eyes. “So you really like it?” he has the look of concern and raw need and want in his face.

  “Ryder, I actually absolutely love it. I don’t know what I am going to do with all the space considering it is just me. But I am sure I will figure something out.” I turn and stop dead in my tracks when I see the look in Ryder’s eyes and I notice the dimples again.

He is happy. I really believe he is truly happy. But I am not going to spoil the mood. “Well, I am gonna go unpack and get ready for dinner tonight. What are you gonna go do?” I ask him as I am walking towards the master bedroom.

  “I’m gonna go finalize a few things for this short run that I have to go on. I have to leave on Saturday.” He says with a not so happy tone. Wonder what that’s about.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize you would be leaving so soon. But that’s cool, gotta make that money right?” I give him a simple little smile and start unpacking my clothes, hanging up the clean ones and put the ones for washing in the corner that I bagged up at the hell hole of a motel.

   “I will be back soon Faith. I promise, I would never just up and leave you. You will always know where I am and I will always come back to you no matter what.” He sounds like he is making me some kind of promise in stone or something.

I giggle a little bit and stop on the spot and look at him, “Dude, Ryder. It’s fine, you can come and go as you please. I don’t own you and you don’t own me, so it’s fine. Promise.” His face goes from soft to instantly cool with anger. I step back for a second and don’t realize that something I have said has hit a sensitive spot. Okay, he is just strange. Damn, boys!

  “I will pick you up here at 4 pm sharp. I expect you to be ready to go then.” He says with a very dominant tone and turns to walk out of my apartment. That’s still strange to think.
My apartment…

*****

  I start to walk down the stairs on the side of my building since I haven’t heard anything from Ryder since earlier. I didn’t know if we were still on for our dinner or not. I decided to call Layla a little while ago to ask if she had any clothes that didn’t smell like the diner that I could borrow.

   “Layla! Help! I need your assistance!! Hurry!” I say to her the second she picks up her phone.

  “Faith, are you alright? Is anything broken or on fire? Are you dying? Do you need 911?” She is all out of breath and is practically screaming into the phone.

  I start busting up laughing and can barely catch my breath as I stop long enough to huff out, “Layla, I am fine. Nothing is on fire and no I don’t need 911. I need the fashion police. I left all my nice clothes back home and I haven’t made enough money to….” She cuts me off by saying she will be right over and then hangs up.

  She brought over a red halter top sundress and black 2 inch heels with a medium size opal necklace and matching earrings. She did my make-up and hair. She left about 20 minutes before Ryder was supposed to show up.

“Oh, baby cakes. I hope he realizes what he has standing in front of him before his life gets the better of him. You’re so beautiful Faith.” She has tears in her eyes but she doesn’t let them fall. I walk over to her and give her a big hug. For someone that doesn’t want Ryder and I together she is sure putting it on thick.

  “Thank you so much Layla. For everything that you have done, the place to live, everything in it, helping me get ready for this dinner. The amazing clothes, hair and makeup! If Ryder doesn’t realize what he has in front of him then he is dumb. And I will brand him another dumb boy.” I say as I laugh a little at the end.

   “Faith, all of this.” She spins around with her hands upwards, “Was Ryder sweetie, not me. I had no idea you needed a place till he said something, then I told him the place was in such disrepair that I couldn’t let you live here like it was. So he got Ziggy and Flem to help him get the place cleaned and fixed up for you. I just went shopping on his dime.” She says with a little bit of a smile like she is so proud of herself.

  “Wait, he paid for all this?” I glanced around the place and looked at how much all this must have cost. She didn’t say anything just patted me on the back and left.

  I waited till 4:15pm and he was still a no show. So that’s why I am here walking down the stairs. I am half way down the stairs when I look up and I see Ryder standing there.

   “You’re late.” He says while looking at his watch, “I thought you always kept your promises and are NEVER late.” He is being a snide ass this evening, “But I will say that you look… amazing.” That’s when I catch his eyes,
t
hey are fixated on mine and a little smile crosses his face, there are those dimples again.

Keep it together Faith, you’re not falling for him in any kind of way…Bad people, remember bad people! I scream to myself on the inside.

  “You know something Ryder,” I cock my eyebrow up and tilt my head a little bit and place my hand on my hip with a sassiness that I just discovered in the last 5 seconds. “You truly are an asshole and you know how to spoil a good thing even before it starts. I’m going to the bar. Bye.” I finish climbing down the rest of the stairs then my heel gets stuck and I am flying forwards. I land right into Ryder’s arms. He has one arm around my back and the other on my backside.

“Hey get your fucking hands off me!” He lets me go and I storm off. There went any kind of feelings that I might have let start for him. God, men are such asshole pigs!

  All of a sudden I am being picked up around my waist and hoisted over Ryder’s shoulder. “What the fuck! RYDER! Put me down! God damn it! You’re an asshole. I am in a fucking dress dickwad!” I scream at him while I hit him with my fists in his back, but it doesn’t faze him at all and he keeps walking towards the car.

  “Oh, baby. Faith, you have a dirty mouth for such a beautiful girl. Why are you so angry Faith? Where does that anger come from?” He says in a soothing tone almost like he cares.

I start to fight again but give up when I realize;
Faith, you dumbass! You’re in a dress! Cover your ass!!!
I reach back and smooth out my dress as best I can so that no grubby trucker has a view of something he shouldn’t and takes a picture to put in their spank bank.
EWWWW!!
BAD mental picture!! I shiver with the thought and block it out of my memory.

  “Say please and be nice about it and I might think about putting you down.” He says with a tone of desire, I think that’s what that is. “Say please. Now.” He says a little more deeply; with authority and command laced with desire. It is an amazing sound and I can feel my core weaken a little bit.

   I let out a huge sigh and realize that his shoulder is digging into my bladder and I have to pee now. “Ryder, will you please put me down?” I err on the side of a sweet tone hoping that he will buy that I am pushing my pissed tone to the side. “Please..” I sigh again “Pretty please…” I say a little more sweetly.

  Even with my desperate need to pee, my core is aching for him to just touch me or kiss me. God, anything would be amazing right now. I haven’t felt this ache in a very long time. How am I supposed to fight my feelings when I can't get near him without feeling like this?  It's lust, that's all it is, just lust.

Yeah right, you keep telling yourself that Faith!
Oh boy, I am in big trouble. I can't trust any man since Beau, no matter how much I want to.  I have to stay strong.

  When I feel my feet reach the ground I notice that his face is right in front of mine maybe 6 inches away. I can smell his breath, its mint with a hint of something else. I can’t figure it out off the top of my head. He moves his hands to my shoulders and then is holding on to my face and neck at the same time and is just staring in my eyes.

    “Faith, you are so damn beautiful. I don’t know if anyone has told you that recently. I don’t know what it is, but something about you is just captivating, I am so drawn to you. Can you feel it?” He is looking not just into my eyes, it's like he is trying to see into my soul
.

  Abort! Abort! I need to get out of this situation.