The Lost and Found (9 page)

Ethan grinned and turned to Kelly. “Told ya. She always burns them.”

“It’s not burned. It’s well-done,” I disagreed.

“That’s burned.”

“It’s how I like them. You cook yours your way. I’ll cook mine my way.”

Billy let the boys stay up for another hour and then had them turn in. “Make sure that flame is out before you head in,” he told Josiah.

I made to get up, to follow everyone inside, but Billy told me to sit back and relax. I didn’t know how to convey that I didn’t want to be left alone with Josiah, that I didn’t trust myself to be alone with him, so I just sat back in my seat and buried my hands in my pockets.

Fifteen minutes later the lights in the big house were turned out and it was silent. I listened to the crickets chirp and felt the breeze as it danced through, rustling leaves and lifting my hair. I tucked a platinum lock behind my ear and took a deep breath, enjoying the quiet, the smell of the wood, Josiah. I should stop right there.

Josiah wasn’t like any boy I’d met before. There was something distinctly rugged, rough, and untamed about him. I was used to proper jock-boys who at least pretended to follow the rules. The kind I used to be able to maneuver with a look or a promise I never intended to keep. The kind that would never make a move that I didn’t want. I very much feared Josiah was not that kind of boy. Really he wasn’t a boy. He was a man. And maybe therein lay the danger. I didn’t know what to expect from him. And I found myself wanting to know him better — and that was dangerous.
He
was dangerous.

Josiah should have come with a warning label, or at the very least a theme song.
Bad to the Bone
worked well here. Maybe it was the piercings in his brow and in his ears, maybe the tattoos on his arms, his neck, and I suspected his back, but he reminded me of a lone wolf — unpredictable and dangerous. Or maybe he was just dangerous to me. A part of me, one that grew and came alive more each day, was hoping that he was. He was dangerous, and yet I still felt safe with him. This was a different kind of danger. Stronger and much more potent.

I was tense. Tight. Trying to ease that tension, I shrugged my shoulders carefully and rotated my neck around. In doing so my eyes collided with Josiah’s blue ones. I froze.

“Be careful of Rob.”

That brought me up short. “What?”

“He’s got his eye on you, and I don’t like the look in it. Just be careful.”

“Oh-kay. Thanks. He’s not really my type or anything. Little young, too. But I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You do that. I’ll be talking to Billy and Bentley about it. They should be aware. And whether he’s your type or not isn’t the issue. He’s dangerous and you need to be cautious around him. Don’t give him any green lights, at all.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll watch out.”

“Don’t allow yourself to be alone with him either.”

After a moment I asked, “If he’s that bad why does Billy keep him here?”

“Rob has this one option. He screws this up, he’s heading to prison. Billy’s trying to give him every opportunity to turn himself around.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I said nothing.

“You about ready?” he asked after a couple minutes of silence.

“For what?” I asked. My heart lurched at his question as my head instantly considered the possibilities.
Was I ready for him? For his mouth on mine? His hands on me?
My throat dried up a little at the idea and I tried to keep my breathing steady.

“To turn in?” he replied. I saw something flash in his expression, but he quickly snuffed it out and his expression cooled. “Or do you want to stay here for a while?”

I didn’t answer him. I was trying to rein in my imagination. He hadn’t meant what I’d thought he meant. Of course he hadn’t. I had to acknowledge that a part of me had been hoping he’d meant something a little less decent and a little more dangerous. Which was pure insanity on my part. I knew I should go in; I was getting too used to him, too comfortable with him and it was leading to these ridiculous fantasies. Instead I just stared into his blue eyes and let my worries fade into the background.

Josiah gazed at me intently for a moment longer, something hot flashed across his face again causing my heart to sprint once more, then he nodded his head and leaned back in his seat. Relaxed.

We sat out there for another hour or so. Twice Josiah had pulled in a deep breath, like he intended to speak, but then he’d let it out again and remained silent. I wanted him to talk, to tell me what he wanted from me, what he was after.

I looked over at him and his gaze was firmly on me. He may not have said anything out loud, but his eyes were speaking volumes. And I saw the answer to my internal question, the one I’d wanted him to talk about. But now, as I saw just what was in his gaze, I knew I wasn’t ready to respond, and I knew why he’d kept silent. I wasn’t ready. So we continued to sit in silence.

Once the fire died down Josiah stood and held his hand out to me. I hesitated before placing my hand in his. I was still craving his touch and was still fearful of it as well. After a moment I allowed him to pull me to my feet.

“See you in the morning?” he asked. His voice was like warm velvet across my skin. There were mere inches separating our bodies and I wondered if he noticed. My gaze flashed up to his and I noted the caution there. Josiah was being careful. He stepped back just a little and waited for my answer.

“See you in the morning,” I agreed.

Even though I smelled of smoke, I decided to forego a shower and try to get some sleep. My body betrayed me — my hand was still tingling from Josiah’s touch. I checked the time; it was just after 10:00 PM. Music didn’t sound good. I tried reading but was unable to concentrate enough to even know what the first page had been about. My eyes flitted around my room, seeking a distraction from this constant influx of electrical charges that Josiah sparked in me; they landed on the manila envelope. The one with Mom’s letters. Taking a deep breath I retrieved it and retreated to my bed. This wasn’t quite the distraction I’d been searching for, but it would do. I closed my eyes for a moment before I began to read.

Josiah

GROWING UP IN THE
system and being familiar with how the hierarchy and the almost pack-like mentality of the group-home was fostered, how it festered within the ranks of the boys, Josiah had learned early on that if you wanted to survive, if you wanted to be left alone, you had to be an Alpha — you had to learn to fight. Being an Alpha didn’t necessarily mean having your own pack, though there had been those who’d followed his lead. It meant that the others had learned to leave him alone, or suffer the consequences. Josiah hated violence, but he used it when it became necessary. And he used it with fierce determination and precision.

After graduating from the system, after being offered the honest-to-God job at the Ranch, he’d made the decision to remove the Alpha mantle; now he was a lone wolf. Still dangerous, still someone to be left alone, and now he stood alone.

Rob, seventeen with a linebacker’s burly build and inbred aggression, had been in the foster system since he was ten. He’d come to the L&F when he was thirteen; he’d been bounced around the state to various group homes and foster care for one reason or another until he and two seventeen-year-old accomplices were charged with armed robbery. The older boys were sent to prison; he was given the option of going to the L&F, or Juvie. Rob chose the L&F to avoid time behind bars. He was biding his time, waiting until he was eighteen and free of the control of the state. Some, when faced with adversity become stronger, some crumble, some are driven to success, some think the world owes them and will do everything to make sure the world pays up. And then there was Rob.

Josiah knew Rob wanted to be Alpha and that he thought Josiah was the one standing in his way. Rob wasn’t quite ready to take him on yet, but the idea was forever there in his mind — the one obstacle in his way. Having gravitated toward the rougher elements of life, Rob would have heard all the urban legends about Josiah. And Josiah could see that Rob wanted to question him, test him, and see just how tough he really was. See if Josiah was all talk, just a legend, or if he could put up. He knew Rob craved the fear and respect Josiah was given wherever he went, no matter whom he was with. And he knew that Rob hated the deep-seated fear he nonetheless felt for Josiah.

Then Crimson had arrived. Like the other boys, Rob had seen her pictures at the Ranch, knew she was the old man’s granddaughter. Josiah knew Rob lusted after her like a picture in a magazine. That he’d imagined himself being with her. Josiah had watched as Rob’s obsession with Crimson began to build. Rob clearly wanted her. He wanted her more than he wanted to be Alpha.

So Josiah had watched as the blond boy had watched her. Stalked her. Watched as Rob tried to will her responses to his attentions — fortunately she never noticed him. Rob was used to getting attention from girls at school. Josiah had seen them throw themselves at the blond boy. But Crimson never did; she never noticed him, never paid Rob any attention at all.

Josiah knew Rob wouldn’t take her indifference lightly; he also knew it was time to stake a claim. Not to Crimson – she wasn’t ready for that yet, but Rob needed to know. So Josiah had smoothly moved into what he knew Rob would feel was his territory. And just like that Josiah had silently staked a claim on the old man’s granddaughter.

At first it hadn’t seemed to matter all that much to Rob. Crimson had barely been more than a zombie when she arrived. Rob would want a response from the woman he was with and he seemed content to wait her out for a while, see how long it would take for her to snap out of her funk. Occasionally Rob had tried flirting with her, just trying to get her attention, nothing major, but he just tested the waters to see if she’d respond. Each time he did Josiah made sure he was there, standing between the two of them, blocking Rob and keeping him away from Crimson. He was aware of the hatred burning inside Rob as the blond boy watched, day by day, the way she began responding — to Josiah.

Josiah, being Josiah, recognized the real threat Rob posed. His gut reaction was to take the punk out, make an example of him, but he also knew the repercussions were so much bigger now if he was caught. Instead, he’d have to stay alert and try heading off any attempts Rob made toward Crimson, try discouraging him. Josiah hoped that Rob might wise up and decide not to buck the system and to leave Crimson alone. That was one of the reasons he’d kept Crimson with him, assigned her duties with him. Josiah wondered how long Rob was willing to wait before he tried for more.

Josiah had watched her carefully these last several weeks as Crimson came alive again. The pain was still there, but it was no longer the all-consuming beast it had been when she’d first arrived. He thought maybe she was beginning to respond to him as well, that she was beginning to notice him as a man. Josiah tried holding himself in check, keeping his desire for her under wraps. It was hard; she unknowingly tested him as they worked together. Those times he’d catch her honey eyes moving slowly across his body his stomach would clench, his mouth would dry up, and his heart would pound in his chest, keeping time with his building need. Then he’d remind himself she wasn’t ready yet.

Knowing now was the time to talk with Billy, Josiah knocked on the office door. Billy was seated behind his desk, working through the never-ending mountains of paperwork he had to fill out on each boy. The progress reports, school reports, medical and performance evaluations, the list went on and on. At the sound of Josiah’s knock, Billy looked up.

“Got a minute?” Josiah asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Sure, c’mon in. What’s up?”

Josiah sat down in one of the chairs before Billy’s desk. He rubbed his head in a show of mild agitation, and then leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. Taking a deep breath, he looked Billy right in the eye and said, “Crimson.”

“What about her?”

“I like her, Billy.” His voice was low, quiet. “And I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us about her.”

Billy leaned back in his chair and contemplated Josiah silently for several moments. Josiah knew Billy liked him, and even respected him, but this was Crimson they were talking about.

Billy scratched his chin thoughtfully. “All right. She’s an adult, and I won’t attempt to tell her what to do — I won’t make that mistake again. But you be careful.”