The Lord Won't Mind (The Peter & Charlie Trilogy) (32 page)

“Clothes. Hell, I thought you’d be ready for me.”

“I thought of it. I decided I ought to be respectable. They’re things I’ve got to tell you. It’s really all right my being here?”

“Why’re you looking so worried? He gave it to you because he’s stuck on you. So what? I knew he would be.”

“It’s more than that. He’s given me fifty thousand dollars.”

“Good God.” Tim stared, motionless with astonishment. A grin slowly spread across his face. “That’s fabulous. You’ve driven him mad. Not that that’s really big money to him. He can spare it.”

“I haven’t accepted it yet. I had to talk to you. What am I supposed to do?”

“Listen, we can talk about it later. I can’t think straight now. Let’s go to bed. Please. You don’t know what it’s been like. I’ve been going crazy thinking about you.”

“Me too. But I had to tell you first. I want everything to be the way you want it.”

“Well, then, come on. I want to see what I’m getting that’s worth fifty thousand bucks.”

“Tim.”

“Yeah?”

“This means something, doesn’t it? It’s not just going to be a quick lay?”

“Are you crazy? For two days I haven’t been making any sense at all. I don’t know why I wasn’t fired. I wouldn’t have cared. Hell, I would’ve been glad. I could’ve got back here that much sooner. This is the biggest thing that’s happened to me—I don’t know, maybe in my whole life. You knew that when I left.”

“I hoped so. That’s why Walter and this place bothered me. We can leave it till later so long as you know I want so much to be everything you want me to be.”

“I don’t think you’ll have to try very hard. But please, please. For the love of God have mercy on my aching cock. I want you in bed.”

“That, sure lord, is where I want to be.”

“Well, come on.”

“We’ll have to let go of each other if we expect to go anywhere.”

“I know. That’s the hard part.”

“When it happens like this, it certainly makes everything else seem pretty crappy.”

Tim gripped his arms hard. “Come on.”

There was no time for sophisticated lovemaking. Peter knew that he could never get through the preparations necessary to his particular desires. It was all done in minutes with hands and grappling bodies. They spilled themselves onto each other.

They lay together afterward, Tim propped on an elbow, a big hand toying with Peter’s hair. “You’re it. You’re really it, Skeezix. I’ve been waiting so damn long for you. I don’t mean two days. I mean years. I was beginning to think you’d never turn up. You’re mine now. The Growler. Who would ever have guessed it?”

“I would have, if anybody had told me about you. And how about dropping that name? The Growler’s dead. It was a pretty good joke while it lasted.” He was memorizing Tim’s face: the fair hair falling over the heavy brow, the wide-set eyes, the high, rather massive cheekbones, the strong jut of the nose, the curve of the big, firmly modeled mouth. There was nothing subtle or elusive about it. It was all honest and straight and easy to read. What he read now was love. He was moved and grateful. He snuggled in closer and ran his hand over the cloud of blond hair on his chest and put a finger in his ear. “You’re staying the night, aren’t you? I mean, that’s the way it’s going to be, isn’t it?”

“Are you kidding? Try to get me out.”

“And tomorrow night?”

“You’re damn right.”

“That’s enough to look forward to really. Are we more or less going to live together?”

“What do you mean, more or less? You’re mine now.”

“I’m glad. It’s nice to know. I want you to fuck me, you know.”

“How do you mean?”

“Really fuck me. You know. You inside me.”

Tim’s eyes were grave. “You do? That’s something I’ve never done.”

“It’s amazing how many guys haven’t. Just wait. Then I’ll really be yours.” Tim’s sex stiffened against his leg. Peter laughed. “I don’t mean necessarily right now, unless you really want to. Don’t you want me to cook you some dinner?”

“I guess so, if it won’t take too long.”

Peter pulled his head down and they kissed. The kiss deepened as their hands explored each other, finding new places. Peter was overwhelmed by his size: heavy shoulders, big arms, deep chest, great columns of legs, the thick sex like a club. He wanted him badly in the way he liked best. He wanted to be his. He felt protected again. He wanted to hide in his chest. Tim drew his head back and looked at him and began to laugh. “You really are something, aren’t you, Skeezix?” His laughter was filled with delight and amazement. “I knew you were beautiful, but I never guessed the half of it.”

Peter smiled and opened his mouth and snapped it shut with a click of teeth. He growled. “Shall we go on from here, or dinner?”

“You can do anything you want with me. You say.”

“Then let’s get the damn food over with so we can concentrate on things that matter.”

“I’m not so sure I’ll let you go. You can do anything you want except get out of this bed.”

Peter put the heels of his hand in the hollows of Tim’s cheeks and pressed gently. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“If you’re sure that’s true, then I guess it’s all right.” He disentangled himself. Peter slid over to the edge of the bed and stood. Tim scrambled after him and put his arm around his waist and turned him. He kissed his rigid sex with his open mouth and ran his tongue along it. “Where did you get all this? It’s amazing on such a skinny little guy.”

Peter ran his hand through the fair hair and pressed his head against his stomach. “It seems to be bigger than usual today. That’s what you do to it.”

Tim swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. Peter took his hand and held him, and they remained motionless as they studied each other’s bodies. Walter’s description had been accurate. Peter ached inside with wanting him. He shifted his hips so that their sexes met and crossed. He looked up and their eyes met and they laughed.

“Do you suppose we’re going to stay like this all through dinner?” Peter asked.

“I wouldn’t be at all surprised. The way you make me feel, I’ll probably be like this for the next month.”

They moved apart reluctantly, and Peter put on a dressing gown. Tim went to the entrance hall and opened his bag and pulled a robe out for himself. Peter fixed them drinks in the living room. They looked at each other’s lifted dressing gowns and rocked with laughter.

“Do you suppose this could mean we want to make love with each other?” Peter asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’re both guys.”

“So it would appear. Maybe slaving over a hot stove will have some effect.” They laughed some more.

Tim followed him into the kitchen. He sat at the table while Peter turned his back on him and busied himself with a meal he’d kept simple on purpose.

“How’s yours,” Peter asked with a giggle after a few minutes.

“The same.”

“So’s mine. It’s going to get in the soup.” They shouted with laughter. Peter collapsed over the sink. “This is ridiculous. Suppose we have to go around like this for the rest of our lives.”

“It’ll ruin my career. No jury would take me seriously.” They howled.

“That’s better,” Peter said while he caught his breath. “At least, it’s not so much in the way.”

“Yeah. Sex is no laughing matter.” They continued to be shaken by little bursts of giggles.

“God, I love you, big boy,” Peter said. “You’re so damn silly.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s what everybody says.”

Peter set the table and put the food on it and poured out wine. “Now listen,” he said when they had started eating. “We’ve got to get this Walter business straight. You know what happened, don’t you?”

“Sure. Hell, I was there before you. I’m too old for him now. He likes ’em young.”

“You don’t mind?”

“I told you anything you did was OK. I wasn’t crazy about the idea of his seeing you before I did, but we’d hardly met. I didn’t have the right to start laying down the law. Now that you’re mine, now that we have each other, what difference does it make?”

“Well, what do you want me to do about the money?”

“Take it, for God’s sakes. You’re worth every penny of it. There aren’t any strings attached, are there?”

“No. So he says. Except that I know he’s going to want me to strip sometimes.”

“I don’t see what harm that can do you.”

“You wouldn’t mind if I did?”

“Why should I? I wouldn’t mind if you took a shower in a gym. Plenty of guys would stare at you there. That’s really all it amounts to. As far as I’m concerned, we can ask the whole town in to look at you. You’re so damn beautiful.
Look
. Not touch. I’ll kill anybody who tries that. I’m not kidding. As for the other part of it, so long as you think of me, that doesn’t matter much either.”

“I’m not so sure. That’s the trouble. It wasn’t the same as doing it by myself. I was awfully drunk and thinking about you, but I don’t know. You seem to get involved somehow with the person who’s watching. That’s what bothers me. I’m no exhibitionist, but in a way I sort of liked it. Something really wonderful had just happened to me, you’d just been there and kissed me, and I was doing something I didn’t want you to know about. That’s the bad part. I agree with you, otherwise. It doesn’t mean a thing. I don’t mind taking my clothes off if I like somebody and they really want to look at me.”

“Are you saying you’re seriously considering turning him down?”

“I want you to tell me. There can’t be anything even a little bad between us.”

“You’re incredible.” He put his hand out and touched Peter’s. “How’ve you been getting by, Skeezix?”

“Sleeping around. I haven’t been a whore, but I want you to know all about me. People give me things. I sell them. I’ve never done it with anybody I didn’t want to. That was the point of the Growler routine.”

“Yeah, but as you say, the Growler’s dead. I want to give you lots of things, but I’d want you to keep them.”

“I’d never sell anything you gave me. I can get a job.”

“Sure. You’ll probably want to anyway. But fifty thousand dollars! Why don’t you explain it to Walter the way you have to me? I think he’d understand.”

“He probably would, and then I’d feel lousy for not being willing to do such a little thing for him when he’d done so much for me.”

“Maybe you’d better be a lawyer. You’re really picking over the fine print. Look, I’ve known Walter a long time. I performed for him dozens of times. I know what you mean. I got to sort of enjoy it in a peculiar sort of way. But honestly, it doesn’t mean anything finally.”

“I wouldn’t want you to do it.”

“Well, we can’t be each other, Skeezix. We’ve got to accept that, right from the start. But let me finish. I know why he’s given you the money. He must’ve told you. You can give him so damn much, even if you feel you shouldn’t take your clothes off. He had a very sweet guy with him for years. He was killed a couple of years ago. He’s been very lonely ever since. He just wants your time. I won’t be able to be with you always. He’s obviously fallen for you. Who wouldn’t? If you like him, what’s wrong with giving him an interest in life besides his pictures?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. So long as he understands I may not do my act for him again. So much depends on what happens to us. Are we going to be faithful to each other?”

“The minute we’re not we might as well call it off.”

“That’s good. That’s the way I want it. Do you think two guys can make this sort of thing work? I mean, are you thinking about the next few weeks or for real?”

“For real, Skeezix. It couldn’t be anything else with you. Not the way I feel. I’ve always felt like a damn fool telling a guy I’m in love with him, but with you I think it’ll be different. I don’t see how I can hold off much longer.”

“We don’t have to tell each other things.”

“There’s somebody else, isn’t there?”

“You said you knew all about me. I guess you must know about that. I’ll tell you about it, but I’m not sure tonight’s a good time unless you insist. It was easy to talk about it when I wanted to explain to people—you know, guys I really liked—why they shouldn’t let themselves get serious about me. That’s hardly the case with you. I want you to be serious about me. I’m serious about you. That’s for sure.” Their eyes met and probed into each other. After a moment, Peter’s breath caught and he inhaled deeply to ease his chest. Tim’s regard was calm and level.

“I’m in love with you, Peter.” He broke into a broad grin. “There. I don’t care whether I sounded like a damn fool or not. It’s the truth.”

“You didn’t sound like a damn fool. You sounded beautiful.” Peter exploded with laughter. “Three guesses what’s going on under the table.”

Tim laughed with him. “Same here. Maybe we ought to see a doctor.”

“Come on. Let’s get back in bed where we belong, even if we are both boys.”

They rose and laughed again as their condition was revealed. They held each other’s sexes as they crossed the apartment to the bedroom. They threw off their dressing gowns, and Tim made a dive for the bed.