The Long Way Home (11 page)

I nodded, swallowing hard and unsure. I felt the door to our
room open and heard it close, but I never broke my stare from him. My hands had
slid up into his hair. I was gripping to him. His fingers started to roam
across my underwear as he carried me to the bed. He laid me back on the
comforter and stood up. I could see something changing on his face. He looked
confused as he stepped back and pointed at me, "Don’t move." He
turned and left the room.

I could barely breathe.

I tried to stay there, imagining all the places he could have
gone, but the look in his eyes told me everything. He couldn’t do it. He
couldn’t touch me and feel sorry for me in the same breath. Or he had left to
murder Phil.

When the door kicked open thirty minutes later, he came with
a box of pizza and a bag of something else. He laid it on the bed.

“What just happened?”

He shook his head and ran his hands through his dark, bushy
hair, “I
cant
eat that high-
faluting
food and wine and listen to the goddamned hair-pulling story.
 
And I can’t kiss you until you ask me.
And your eyes are still puffy from crying over that douche Phil, so I can’t
make love to you. So let’s get you good and drunk and eat normal food.” He
dumped the bag.

I started to laugh. "Pear ciders?"

He nodded, "Remember the summer we started hanging out?
I wasn’t allowed to leave for South Carolina because coach had too many summer
practices I would miss. They billeted me out at Jimmy's house and his mom kept
trying to sleep with me, so I hid at your place all summer. Your sister bought
us these to drink. It was what she and all her friends were drinking at the
time. You got sick and we slept outside on the patio furniture. You told me you
were still a virgin and I told you I was too. So we had sex under the stars. It
was the best and worst sex I ever had." His eyes were burning but he
didn’t move.

"It was an amazing way to lose it. Most of my friends
were pretty much date-raped or pressured into doing it. No one did it with
their best friend poolside and under the stars."

He nodded, "I agree."

I couldn’t read his face. I didn’t know what he was thinking,
but I had a feeling it wasn’t rowdy sex.

He cleared his throat, "I just wanted us to try to
remember being best friends. And I want you to know I am here for you, jokes
aside. I didn’t know you saw him doing that. I didn’t realize how embarrassed
you feel. I can’t take advantage of that, as much as I want to." He sat on
the bed with his back to me and opened the pizza. He took a piece and passed me
the box. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I took a piece and tried to choke it
down. He was saving himself from the tragic affair he knew would end with me
going back.

He cracked a cider and passed it to me. I sipped the sickly
sweet drink, picking at the label. He looked back, "You want to watch a
movie?"

I nodded.

He got the remote and started fiddling with it. I stared at
his broad back and thick arms and imagined the weight of him on me. I loved
that feeling. It had been four years almost, but I still remembered it. He was
the only person I liked touching me. Growing up with no one ever touching you,
you’d think I would have worked hard for any affection, but I went the other
way. I grew to be like them, my parents. I hated affection from anyone. I never
liked being touched or hugged. It felt too foreign to me, unless I was trashed
or high. Then I liked drinking and fucking but that wasn’t the same thing as
having someone touch you. France was the only one who could touch me and make
me feel safe.

Not even Phil ever reached the level of comfort that France
did.

He picked a movie and crawled up onto the bed. He patted his
chest. I abandoned my pizza and cider and crawled over to him. He wrapped
around me, kissing my head. I closed my eyes and pretended that was my life.
That was my reality.

The warmth around me was suffocating me. I tried to push it
off, but when I opened my eyes, I realized it was France. I smiled and let the
weight of him press me into the bed. He moaned and slid between my thighs. We
had stripped to our undergarments when we decided it was bedtime. Now in the
light of the morning, it seemed like that had been a bad plan. He was used to
waking next to a puck fuck. His erection pressed against me hard as his face
dipped into my neck. My breath became a moan as his body woke up. He slid
against me, cupping and gripping. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling
him into me more. His lips started leaving kisses along my collarbone and nape.
He lowered more, dragging my bra strap down with his lips. His kissed his way
to my nipple. He kissed around, teasing and licking. Finally he landed his
whole mouth over it, sending chills everywhere. I moaned, wrapping my legs
harder and pressing myself against his rigid cock.

His hands made their way down between my legs, pushing my
underwear to the side. I was freeing him from his underwear at the same time.

He rested his tip between my legs but paused. He sat up from
my breast, "You going home to him?"

I tried to move my pelvis to force his entry but he pulled
back with my movements. I groaned, "I can't decide now."

He cocked an eyebrow, "You going back?"

I bit my lip and nodded, "I have to break things off,
I
have to go back and talk to him and get my things."

"You
gonna
let your parents
tell you to stay with him?"

I pushed him back, "Screw you, Mike." I pushed my
underwear back into place and tried to get out from under him but he didn’t
budge. He stared me down. I turned my face to the side, feeling the red-hot
rage of unsatisfied sexual urges.

"I
wanna
screw, J.D.” He saw
my face and laughed, “It was a bad joke. Look, I don’t want to start this up,
if it is just ending with you and him again."

I refused to look at him, "I don’t know, okay? I don’t
have an answer for you. Stop saying screw, it's gross."

He kissed my shoulder, "I want you to be mine. That
hasn’t ever changed."

I wriggled away and turned my back to him. His cock was still
pressed into me. I wanted it so
badly,
I closed my
eyes and tried to think about my grandma. Instead, he kissed my neck and rubbed
himself against me and made me think about him playing hockey.

"I love you."

I laughed, "You love all women; that’s sort of always
been your problem."

He shook his head, "I know being with you would make me
an honest man."

"That’s a pretty big risk on both our parts, considering
the friendship we have is the only good thing in my life."

"You've always been the best thing in my life." He
pushed his cock up against my butt cheek. I turned over, annoyed and impatient.
I pushed him on his back and slid down the bed fast. I grabbed his cock and
wrapped my lips around it. He jumped, unprepared and completely taken aback. I
sucked like I was being paid to do it. I remembered that filthy party I'd been
to with Diane. The lady had told us to stroke as we sucked and meet in the
middle. I wiggled my tongue as I sucked up and down the shaft.

"Oh shit, Jack. Damn."

I almost smiled, but I remembered not to break the rhythm. He
started to push himself into my mouth farther. Since I wasn’t being paid and
had a gag reflex, I decided to take that as my opportunity to teach him a
lesson. I pulled away, wiped my mouth and jumped off the bed. I waved back at
him,
"Don't start shit with me, France. You won't win.
I'm not one of your toys." I slammed the bathroom door and locked it.

I heard him scramble off the bed, "J.D., get the hell
out here." He pounded on the door, "What the hell was that?"

I smiled, "That was what you get for messing with me.
You started this and then you started talking about Phil."

He pounded on the door, "Guys can die from that, Jack.
Open the door."

I started to laugh, "No way. Go finish by yourself. I'm
taking a shower." I started the shower and dropped my bra and underwear to
the floor. As I was stepping in, he busted through the door. He looked like a
bull in a china shop as he seethed. He looked positively malicious as he
grabbed my hand and dragged me into the shower. He slammed my back against the
tiles but dropped to his knees.

Gently, he parted my lips and buried his wooly face between
my legs. His warm mouth kissed and sucked as his tongue slid up and down my
slit. The beard felt amazing against the delicate flesh there. I cried out as
he slid one of his thick fingers up inside of me. The hot water splashed down
on us, as my knees weakened. I felt it building inside of me. He must have too.
He pumped faster and sucked my clit. I tried to grip the tile but I couldn’t. I
was slipping. He wrapped my legs onto his shoulders and pushed them farther
apart.

I mumbled something like, "Mike, I'm
gonna
cum." But it was a mess with the water, orgasm and awkward positioning.

"I know baby, cum for me. Cum on my face." He
tickled me with his beard and mustache.

And I did.

I twitched and came, and when he brought me down into his
lap, he sat me on his cock. I eased it inside of myself. Instantly, the orgasm
started to come back.

He knelt back a bit on his heels as I rode him. He cupped my
ass, working me on him. His huge hands, gripping my ass and moving me in a
circular motion under the spray of the water, was hot.

Not as hot as the things he whispered into my ears.

"I love fucking you, J.D." He pushed me back and
licked my nipple, sucking it and biting lightly. His beard against my breast
tickled. "You feel so good, baby."

He rocked us back and forth. My feet no longer held me, they
wrapped around him, clinging to each other. He lifted and lowered my body on
his cock, bouncing me on him. I felt the buildup again. He sucked harder, bit
harder. I barely registered as I clenched around his cock; he maintained the
momentum for me.
I
orgasmed
again.
He bit down hard, making me cry out, not from the pain of it. When I came out
of the haze, he laid me on the tiles, lifted my legs and placed my feet on his
shoulders. He grabbed my hips and fucked me hard. It was everything I
remembered, and yet, so much better. We hadn't done it since we were
twenty-five but it felt the same.

"Goddamn, J.D. You love it, don't you? You love my
cock."

I tried to nod. I tried to do anything beyond moan and drool
on myself, but that wasn’t possible.

"My cock loves you. Goddamn, you have a sweet
pussy."

My head started bouncing on the tiles, I barely registered
that. He ran his thumb over my clit as he slowed the pace again. I shook my
head, "No. Fuck me." I looked up to see the wild look in his eyes and
grin on his lips. He lifted me up farther. I pushed with my feet on his
shoulders and he pounded me until I screamed again.

He came into me, exploding. I felt it fill me. He collapsed
on me, kissing my shoulders and muttering things I didn’t understand.

I patted his shoulder, "France, you have to get off of
me. You’re squishing me into the tiles." I swear I heard a rib crack. He
shook his head and rolled on his back. We both lay there for a minute with the
water spraying down on us.

I glanced at him, aware of the swollen mouth, satisfied look
on my face, and blush covering my cheeks. "That was amazing."

He nodded, "No one fucks you like I do. You know you
want to stay with me."

I laughed, "That's not a reason to stay with someone.
Almost, but no."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it, "Jack, you’re mine.
You always were."

I had no argument for that.

We dried and made our way to the bed. He was snuggled around
me, like he always did and snoring before I even got comfortable.

I watched him sleeping, mesmerized by the size of him and the
way his lips curled. I wondered if I would ever be able to just be strong like
him, for him, and run away from it all.

We got into the elevator after dinner. He dropped to his
knees instantly and lifted my skirt. He pulled my underwear to the side and
licked me before I realized what was happening. My eyes shot open, "Again?
Not in here."

He ran a finger up and down my slit, "Why not? You're
wet."

I shook my head, looking around for a surveillance camera.
"It’s because you keep kissing my neck. Stop this."

“You haven’t asked me to kiss your lips so I have to kiss
somewhere.” He lowered his face again, brushing his beard against the soft part
of my thigh, "You want me again, Jack. Admit it."

I whimpered a little.

He dipped a finger inside of my pussy and dragged the
moisture up to my clit. His bearded face made its way up between my legs. He
dragged his tongue the whole way up to my clit. He sucked and flicked.