The Lonely Girl (9 page)

Becca please I’m sorry can you at least let me know you’re home and okay?

I send him a text saying I’m fine and just tired. I tell him I’m turning my phone off, and I will talk to him around school. I hear Jake’s door close. He must have left just after me. I get in my pj’s and crawl into bed. I must have been tired because I barely remember lying down.

I hear voices. I see flashes of blue and red. “Are you okay? Can you move?” I tell them I’m stuck. “Can you hear me?” I nod. I hear the gears grind on the tool they’re using to cut me out of the car. I see that they have gotten Michael out. He’s alright thank God. When they finally get the door off and get me out, they ask me if I’m ok. I start to push off the paramedic saying I’m fine when I turn and see his partner is with Michael. When I get closer, I see that he’s doing CPR. Oh God, Michael. No, please. Michael has to be okay. I scream, and everything goes black.

Someone is shaking me. I spring my eyes open and see Jake. He’s in pj bottoms with no shirt on. I am crying. He pulls me towards him not asking if it was a bad dream as he already knows it was. I wrap my arms around Jake. He tells me everything’s okay, and that it was just a dream. “But it wasn’t just a dream
, Jake. It happened. Just like my dream.”

I tell Jake about my dream. I tell him about the fact that I actually fainted and
the next thing I knew I was in the hospital, and it was four days later. The doctors said I didn’t need surgery just time for my body and my injuries to heal on their own. When I woke up, my brother and parents told me about Michael and that his funeral was the next day. However, I couldn’t go because of the doctor’s orders. Not that I could have stomached it anyway. I was released five days later. I told him I’ve never visited Michael’s grave even though Alec asked me to go many times. Jake just sits there and listens to me.

It’s 3:30
a.m., and Jake asks me if I want him to stay. I think about it. I don’t want to be alone, so I ask him he could, and he agrees. He cuddles me. There is nothing sexual about this. It’s just a friend comforting another friend.  I do not have another dream tonight. I just sleep in the comfort of Jake’s arms. I wish I wasn’t so screwed up. I wish I could love him, because I bet he’d be good for me. Unfortunately, you can’t change the chaos that has become this life. My life. No matter how much you wish you could.

Chapter 8

Waking up to Jake wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t romantic either. At this moment, with no doubt
, I know Jake is my best friend. I thank him and tell him how much it means to have him as my friend. He tells me that he’s never had a girl who was his best friend, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m glad because I know that I didn’t want to lead him on, but I couldn’t imagine not having Jake in my life.

He goes to get ready, and
so do I. When he’s done, he comes back and gets me, and we head to get some breakfast. When we get there, my brother and Keegan are sitting at the table with some of the guys. I really don’t want to sit there. I tell Jake I really need to make some of my own friends, so my brother isn’t so involved in my daily life. He just laughs and tells me he’d move to sit wherever I was. I don’t think he’d do that.

I spot Kristy at a table a few rows before Alec
’s table. I decide on a whim to sit with her when she waves at me. Jake follows me and just chuckles. I introduce Jake and we take our seats. Kristy met Jake last year when she found him in the stairwell. He was drunk, with just boxers on. I laugh and tell her I must know everything. Jake’s slightly embarrassed, but tells me I will have my own stories soon enough. Just then a tray drops beside me, and Alec and Keegan sit down next to us. You’ve got to be kidding me. He can’t be serious. I’m about to chew him out and tell him to leave when he speaks.

“
Becca, I’m sorry about last night. I’d had a few drinks, not that it’s an excuse. I sent my little sister off to Europe and then I see her come back looking all grown up, like you were last night. I love you. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”

Okay, so I don’t want to kill him anymore. I smile and hug him. “I love you
too. It’s going to be an adjustment for both of us alright.”

He laughs. “Ya you’re right. I can’t promise not to forget sometimes and go all big brother on you but it’s because I love you. But I, well, I’m okay with Jake and you. He’s a good guy.”

Jake and I both laugh and at the same time we say we’re just friends, causing us to laugh even more. Keegan and my brother look at us like we just sprouted another head. Of course, they don’t believe us. Kristy takes off, and I continue to talk to the boys about my classes. I’m still undecided, but I’m thinking a Biology and Chemistry major, so I’m loading up on science classes. I tell the boys, I have to run to class. I give them all hugs and take off to my first university class that I’m not just a sit in for; I’m actually a student.

The first week of school flies by. Before I know what’s
what, it’s Friday. Alec and Keegan are having a party, and most of the hockey team will be there. Jake is going as well, so we go together. As usual, everyone thinks we are an item. We just laugh it off. Jake is so much more than a guy I like. I love Jake. I’m just not in love with Jake.  The first two nights after he slept in my room, he’d come in when he would hear me scream. Now he just sleeps in my room the whole night. It’s become our little ritual. We get ready for bed and laugh as everyone gawks at the fact that we sleep in the same room. I’m sure we are the talk of the dorms and café, but we just laugh it off.

I have, for the most part, avoided Keegan. He’s tried to talk to me, but he doesn’t do it with my brother around, so I have stayed shockingly close to my brother. I tell Alec I’m intimidated by the number of students. He believes it. I wasn’t much of a social butterfly the past year.

As I head back to the dorm after my classes, I start getting ready for the party. I get a text from Keegan asking me if I’m still coming tonight. I reply telling him, of course, I wouldn’t miss it. He sends a smiley face. God is he frustrating and confusing.

I wear skinny
jeans and a black halter top. It has no back, but I kind of like that. If I move the wrong way my bellybutton ring shows. My brother should be happier than he was with my dress. I really don’t want to make him have a heart attack, but I’m not showing up in sweats. I am wearing a pair of glitter black six inch heels that Charlotte talked me into. I like the height they give me. With a knock on my door, I open it and there stands Jake. “You look hot, Becca, more covered but I still don’t think your brother will be happy.”

I laugh. “You look mighty fine
, Jakey.” He rolls his eyes at my pet name for him. “My brother will just have to suck it up won’t he?”  Jake laughs. I grab my coat, and he holds out his arm.

“Come on
, Beckers.” Now I’m rolling my eyes. We came up with these nicknames one night when we were having pillow talk as we call it, they’re awful but for some reason they stuck.

We arrive and the party is in full swing. I walk into the kitchen and find Alec doing shots.
Oh, he’s going to be less happy when it’s coming up later. He spots me and smiles. I take off my coat and go throw it in his room. When I come back out Keegan is in front of me.

“Hi Becca, you look nice tonight.”
Well, this is weird.

“Not too bad yourself
, Keegan.” Keegan hands me a drink, and we chat. Alec calls to us to have some shots with him. We both roll our eyes at him, but do as he asks. Keegan seems to be attentive to me tonight. He follows me around and chats with me. Is it possible he likes me or is he spying on me for my brother? The latter seems more likely. Jake comes over every once and a while and checks on me. Keegan seems to go silent each time Jake does this. I’m starting to feel pretty hammered. I see Keegan giving death stares across the room. This is the first time things have felt weird between us all night.

I notice Drake and another guy heading this way. They both say hi, and Keegan just nods. I introduce myself to the other guy, and he says his name, but to be honest I didn’t catch it. Nor did I care enough to have it repeated.
He speaks again and this time his words are crystal clear. “Key, I thought you told Drake that you weren’t working this lock.” I notice two things. One, he points to me as a reference to the lock and two, Keegan is pale and isn’t talking. “Well, if you’re not, then maybe you’d like to have a drink with me sweetheart.” Now I’m insulted. What the hell is he talking about?

“No
thanks, I’m not interested. Come on, Keegan, let’s go.” I drag Keegan behind me and out to the balcony. I shut the door behind us. We are all alone out here, and I’m going to get some answers. “What was that all about Keegan? Before you say nothing I want the truth.”

Keegan opens his
mouth, but quickly shuts it obvious that I know he isn’t going to say exactly that. I see him looking over my head, and then he goes rigid. I turn around, and I see Jake talking to a cute little redhead. She’s pretty. He seems interested. I’m happy for him. He deserves to get out more. Before I can even turn back to Keegan, I see him take her to dance. Keegan flies through the door and grabs Jake by the shirt and drags him out the front door. I run behind them trying to keep up to see what the hell is going on but with these heels, it’s just not happening. I find them arguing in the stairwell.

I hear Jake. “I told you we aren’t together, she’s just a friend. My best friend.”

Keegan yells. “She deserves more than a casual hookup, Jake. If you want to be with her you shouldn’t be doing that shit, especially around her brother and me that’s just not going to happen.”

Now Jake is mad. He pushes Keegan and yells back. “I don’t think it’s me who needs to worry about what they’re doing to her. You like her so stop and just tell her. Stop being Key and just tell her. I would never treat her like that and she knows that. We are just best friends. I love her. I’d never hurt her and I won’t let you do it either
, Key.”

Wait, What? What the hell does stop being Key mean? I’m so over this in the dark crap. I push the door open further, and they both just stare at me. They know I’ve heard at least the last part of this conversation. Keegan turns and takes off down the stairs, and the door at the bottom slams.
Crap, now he’s pissed at me too. I turn to Jake.

“Becca, I don’t know what you heard but I do love you.
Before you freak out I’m not in love with you. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings but I don’t want to lose our friendship.”

What, does he think that I’m upset about the girl?

“Jakey, I feel the same way. I’m not mad. She was cute you should go back and talk to her. I’m glad I have you around you know that.” He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and I decide it’s time to ask some questions about Keegan. I know Jake won’t lie to me.

“Why did some guy just ask me if I was a lock and what the hell does Key mean?” His smile falls.

“It’s his nickname.” I give him the look that says I know there is more to it and to spit it out. “Alright, it’s from his name, yes, but there’s another part of it. Think about it, Becca. He’s Key and a girl is a lock.” I stand there for a minute, then I get it.

“
Oh, he’s a player.” I look down.

“It’s not just that. It’s that he could have girl
’s every night and he has had his share. He got the nickname because he could get in any girl's pants if he wanted to, no matter what morals they had about hook ups.” He takes a step forward. “Beckers, I haven’t seen him around any girl except that tramp, Sarah, and once you got back to school he gave her the hike. Question is do you like Keegan?”

He hasn’t been with anyone since I came to school. I hope not, it’s been like a week. Then, I think do I like Keegan. No one has asked me that. “I think I do but he only sees me as Alec’s sister.”

He laughs. “Are you sure about that?” No, I’m not, so I shake my head. I tell Jake I have to go find Keegan. He just laughs and waves me away.

I find Keegan around the back of the building sitting on a glider in the garden. I walk up and sit next to him. He clearly isn’t going to talk so I start.

“Keegan.” I shuffle over and get his attention, so he’s looking at me. “Jake didn’t do anything wrong. We really are just friends. He’s been there for me and he cares about me, but it’s nothing more than friendship.”

Keegan’s eyes are pinning me to my seat. “I’m sorry for embarrassing you. I don’t know why I was so mad.”
What in the hell kind of answer is that?
Talking to him right now is like pulling teeth. I just decide to throw it out there.

“Keegan, I know you think of me as a little sister or you have some loyalty to Alec. I heard what you said to Jake. But Jake’s not the person I have feelings for.” Here goes nothing. “It’s you, Keegan.
From the time I got off the plane and saw you waving at the fence, it has been you.”

He says nothing, so I get up to walk away. I’m not waiting around for another rejection thank you very much. However, I’ve said what I needed to say. Suddenly, I’m spun around and Keegan’s lips are on mine. My body gives in automatically. His lips are soft but they firmly keep m
ine locked to his. His hands are on my hips and move under my top on my back sweeping across my skin making it heat up instantly. I open my mouth, and he takes the opportunity to dip his tongue into my mouth. I let out a moan. Wow, where did that come from? He stills and pulls back. I’m panting, that was intense. I’ve never had a kiss like that.