Authors: Tilly Tennant
Lumbering down the path, he called after her again. Jasmine emerged onto the road, determined to get as far away from the whole hideous situation as possible.
‘Jas…’ Dylan grabbed her arm and spun her around. ‘It’s not what you think…’
‘Shut up, Dylan. I know you better than that so spare me the barefaced and, frankly, insulting lies.’
‘I’m not…’ He looked confused and glanced back at Rowena who was still watching them with a half-bored, half-amused expression. ‘Just let me…’ He clutched at his head. ‘I don’t know…’
Jasmine shook her arm free. She looked up in time to see Millie emerge from her front door and freeze as she took in the scene.
J
asmine turned and stood
, staring at Millie. Then Dylan stumbled past her towards the old bakery.
‘Millie…’
Millie took one look at him, and the colour drained from her face. Rowena began walking towards them, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. Millie turned to her.
‘What have you done?’ she gasped.
‘Oh, you know what I’ve done,’ Rowena said sweetly, ‘and you know why.’
Millie looked at Dylan again. His eyes were unfocused and his expression vague, as though he didn’t quite know where he was. She turned to Rowena once more. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt Michael, you know that! I loved him! I tried my hardest not to hurt him, but we were living a lie…’ She waved a hand at Dylan, ‘I didn’t do
this
to him.’
‘It hurts, doesn’t it?’
Millie flew at her with a scream. Before she knew what was happening, Jasmine had caught her by both arms and was struggling to hold her back. Dylan was sitting in the middle of the street staring dumbly at the fracas.
‘He didn’t want you,’ Millie spat. ‘It’s just sex.’
‘I think you’ll find he did. All men want me.’
‘You bitch!’
‘Millie!’ Jasmine shouted, still holding tight. ‘Stop it, please! Tell me what the hell is going on!’
‘Yes, Millicent,’ Rowena crowed, ‘why don’t you tell her what is going on? Why don’t you tell her all about my brother—’
‘No!’ Millie yelled, tears springing to her eyes.
‘And how you broke his heart into a thousand pieces…’
‘Please,’ Millie begged, her struggles against Jasmine’s grip weakening.
‘Tell Jasmine how you drove him to kill himself.’ Rowena came closer and dropped her voice. ‘And as if nothing happened, you’ve moved onto another unsuspecting victim… Will this end the same way?’
Millie glanced at Dylan who stared up at her, his eyes empty. ‘I just wanted…’
‘You killed Michael.’
‘No…’ Millie’s voice was barely a whisper now.
‘You killed him, Millicent Hopkin, as certainly as if you had put a gun to his head. You destroyed his hopes and dreams for the future, and you made him believe there was nothing left worth living for.’ Rowena addressed Jasmine, who was still standing behind Millie, a slack grip on her arm. ‘You should think yourself lucky that all Dylan got out of this little adventure is a good shag. If she had got her claws in him, your brother could have ended up as dead as mine.’
Without another word, Rowena turned on her heel and walked calmly back to Dylan’s cottage. Millie stared after her. She felt her arms released and turned to face Jasmine.
‘Jasmine, I’m so sorry!’ Millie sobbed. ‘I didn’t want any of this to happen, I didn’t mean to hurt Michael – you have to believe me!’
‘I don’t know what to think,’ Jasmine said in a dull voice.
‘Rowena’s crazy,’ Millie pleaded, ‘she’ll stop at nothing to get her revenge. She’s punishing me for what she sees as murder but I didn’t mean for Michael to die, I swear!’
‘I believe that. I don’t think you’re capable of inflicting that sort of pain deliberately. What I don’t believe is that you didn’t warn us. You let that woman into our lives and you didn’t warn us what she was capable of.’
Millie glanced at the cottage to see that Rowena was already back in her own clothes and leaving. She threw a smile at Ruth Evans, who, it appeared, had been standing on the side of the road the whole time watching events unfold. She turned back to see that Jasmine was pulling Dylan up to stand.
‘What the hell is wrong with you, Dylan?’ She stared at him but he didn’t reply. Instead, his eyes simply rolled in his head and he stared back.
‘I think it’s something Rowena has done—’ Millie began, but Jasmine cut her off.
‘You should have warned us,’ Jasmine repeated. ‘You could have stopped all this.’
‘I didn’t mean it, Millie…’ Dylan slurred as Jasmine pulled him back towards the house. ‘I love you!’ he called behind him. ‘I mean it, I really do. I don’t know why I slept with her; I don’t even fancy her…’
Millie’s tears fell faster still. Amidst all the chaos of the morning, Dylan’s sudden admission was the cruellest cut. Was that how he really felt? She realised with a jolt, as she watched Jasmine drag him stumbling back to his house, that she had fallen for him too. But he would never want anything to do with her again after hearing what she had done to Michael, and Jasmine hated her so much now that even if he did, a relationship between them would never be accepted. She had lost them both. Rowena had ruined everything, just as she had promised.
J
asmine left
Dylan sleeping and closed the bedroom door. It was distressing to see him looking so vulnerable again after all this time. She was reminded of times when he had arrived back from school and cried himself to sleep over some bullying incident as Jasmine tried desperately to comfort him; and of the day they had learned of their parents’ deaths, when he had collapsed from grief and she had had to be the strong one, tucking him into bed and forcing herself to carry on household chores as if nothing had happened. She had always been his big sister, and she would never be able to stop now.
Sitting at the kitchen table, she stared at the wall. Maybe Rich had been right not to trust Millie after all. Rowena was obviously a certified bunny boiler, but if her accusations were true, what did that say about Millie? Not only did she have to get her head around what Dylan had done after he had more or less proclaimed his love for Millie, but she also had to confront the fact that the friend she knew as a sweet, considerate person could wreak the sort of havoc that would drive a man to suicide. What sort of woman was that? Not one who Jasmine wanted anywhere near her family. And she brought people like Rowena in her wake. Even if Millie hadn’t intended any of this, even if she had not been instrumental in her ex-boyfriend’s death, she still could have done something about the mess they found themselves in now if she had just been honest about it all.
Even knowing Dylan as she did and what kind of mischief he was capable of, something about this situation wasn’t right. His current malady was like no hangover she’d ever seen before. Her gaze swept along the evidence of the previous evening. Two wine glasses sat on the worktop, alongside an open wine bottle. Jasmine let out a groan as she recognised the wine she had warned Dylan not to drink. She pushed herself up from the table and sniffed cautiously at the bottle. It smelt fairly normal. But as she thought about it some more, she couldn’t understand why Dylan had let Rowena in to drink with him in the first place. He wasn’t a fan, from what he had told Jasmine, and it hardly seemed likely that he would have wanted to socialise with her. Unless he had already started drinking the wine before Rowena arrived and had been pleasantly sozzled with his guard down. Or maybe he had let her in for another reason.
She sighed and put the bottle down before running the tap and squeezing some washing-up liquid into a bowl. Rich was probably locked in his studio right now and she wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, despite what had happened here and what needed to be said there. She wanted to stay with Dylan until he woke up to see if he was ok, perhaps even get some answers from him. If it was going to be a long wait, she might as well make herself useful.
S
ometime around noon
, Jasmine inched open the bedroom door to check on Dylan. There had been some neurotic moments through the morning, where she had convinced herself that he had somehow fallen into a coma or choked on his own vomit, and she had looked in on him more often than was really necessary. Each time he had been sleeping soundly with no signs of distress. This time, he flipped himself over as the door creaked and opened his eyes.
‘You look better,’ she said as he rubbed his eyes and sat up.
‘I feel better… I think. Although I’m not entirely sure what I feel better from.’
‘You can’t remember anything?’
‘I have a vague recollection of being out on the street in my boxers. And falling down quite a lot. It’s weird, like I remember stuff but it feels as though I was watching someone else do those things and not really participating myself.’
Jasmine went over and moved his legs so she could sit on the edge of the bed. The room smelt fusty, and she made a mental note to air it as soon as he was up and about. ‘You were pissed as a fart so I’m not surprised.’
His eyes widened. ‘I was pissed, I know that much. But I don’t know if it’s just that. I’ve never felt like that on booze before. It’s like I was drugged; like Rohypnol or something?’
Jasmine stared at him.
‘That sounds mental, I know,’ Dylan said, scratching his head vigorously. ‘But then a lot of stuff has sounded mental since Millie arrived.’
‘Don’t mention her,’ Jasmine pouted.
‘But it was Rowena’s fault, not hers. I can’t even remember… God, Jas, it’s bloody awful. I can’t even remember what made me do it.’
‘Did you sleep with her?’ Jasmine asked in a quiet voice. It was a question she didn’t want the answer to but she felt compelled to ask. Though she often teased him and chastised him about his love life, when it came down to it, she didn’t want the sordid details of what her baby brother got up to in his bedroom, especially with a woman like Rowena.
He nodded slowly. ‘I think so. I didn’t want to, though. Do you believe that?’
‘I do.’
‘It was like… I knew what I was doing was bad but I couldn’t stop doing it. I didn’t want to sleep with her but something drove me to it. I couldn’t stop thinking about Millie’s face if she could see us but Rowena kept telling me to love her and it was like I had to obey. But at the same time, I can’t actually recall any details. I want to think that means I didn’t sleep with her. Maybe I only think I did?’ he said hopefully.
‘God knows,’ Jasmine replied. ‘I certainly don’t want to. Whether you did or didn’t, the damage is done now.’
He let out a huge sigh. ‘I feel like a total shit and I don’t think it makes a difference whether I slept with her or not. What matters is that Millie thinks I did.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘There was a time when I’d have found the idea of mad, drugged-up sex quite exciting.’
‘Perhaps you’re getting old,’ Jasmine smiled.
‘Millie saw us this morning, didn’t she? And I guess it looked pretty damning.’
‘She was out on the street when you came running out in your boxer shorts. She and Rowena had a massive bust up. Did you know about Millie’s ex? Or the reasons she came to Honeybourne in the first place?’
‘No. Should I?’
‘He killed himself. Rowena said that it was because of something Millie did, that she made him do it.’
‘That doesn’t sound right. She wouldn’t be capable of something like that, not deliberately.’
‘We’ve seen otherwise the last couple of days. Look at what happened to you last night.’
‘That wasn’t her fault.’
‘As good as.’
He held her in a thoughtful gaze. ‘What do you really think?’ he asked after a silent moment. ‘Deep down, do you believe Millie is a bad person?’
‘I don’t want to believe that she is. But I don’t want her being around those I love. I don’t think she’s a bad person but I think she brings bad things with her. She’s got a past that’s not ready to let go of her yet. If you’re around her you risk getting caught up in it.’
Dylan let himself fall back on the pillows and lay staring at the ceiling. ‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘Why on earth did you let Rowena in? It’s not as if you like her.’
‘She wanted to talk to me about Millie. I suppose I should have told her to get lost but I couldn’t help myself; I wanted to know what it was.’
‘And what did she tell you?’
He scrunched his nose. ‘I’m not entirely sure. She said we should open the wine before we got onto it… and you know I don’t need telling twice where booze is concerned… and then it’s all a bit random after that.’
‘I’m sorry.’
He flipped onto his side. ‘What for?’
‘You really liked Millie.’
‘Yeah. That’ll teach me to think about fidelity.’
‘You said… In the street this morning, you told her you loved her. Did you mean that?’
‘Bloody hell, did I?’
Jasmine nodded, a smile playing about her lips. ‘You didn’t mean it?’
‘Now I know I must have been stoned, but… I don’t know. Maybe I did.’
T
here was
a faint tap at the front door. Millie had lost count of the times she had hidden from Ruth as the old lady peered in through the front window. She couldn’t face anyone today, least of all Ruth Evans. The events of the morning had been humiliating, mortifying, shaming, hurtful… and just about any other adjective you could use to describe your heart being torn from your chest. She had spent the morning still dressed, but huddled beneath the bedclothes despite the damp heat blowing through the upper floors of the bakery. Anything to shut the world out. From there she had heard people call through the letterbox: Ruth, Colleen, Peggy… How fast did news travel in this place? But no Jasmine and no Dylan. No Rowena for that matter, and she didn’t know whether that fact was cause for relief or concern.
She doubted there was any reason for Rowena to stick around now that she had achieved what she had come to do. But as the day drew on, she realised that a decision would have to be made. It was time to cut her losses and pack. Nobody in Honeybourne would want her around now and she didn’t blame them. Financially, it would pretty much ruin her. Emotionally, it was the only decision that would save her now. She had to leave Honeybourne and find somewhere new to settle. It seemed extreme, but if she changed her name maybe Rowena wouldn’t track her down again. She would keep to herself, build a quiet life somewhere small, some tucked away backwater hardly on the map at all. Most importantly, no more men, not ever. She couldn’t be trusted not to hurt them, especially the ones she really cared about.
She was just dumping a pile of books into a box when there was another tap at the door. As she had with all the others, she swiftly took herself into the back room and waited for them to go. There was a second knock, and then a third. A pause. And then, when Millie thought they had finally gone, a voice through the letterbox.
‘I know you’re in there, Millie… I just want to see if you’re ok and I’m not going anywhere so you’ll have to open the door eventually.’
There was a part of her that desperately wanted some comfort, someone to talk to, to explain her side of the story. But she had convinced herself that she didn’t deserve it, and that the rest of the village believed she didn’t deserve it either, and so she hesitated.
‘Come on… please.’ He lowered his voice. ‘Ruth is stalking the streets and if you don’t let me in soon she’ll see me and then you won’t be able to escape her gossip radar.’
Millie couldn’t help a small smile as she walked to the front door. She opened it to find Spencer staring anxiously back at her.
‘I heard what happened this morning… Well, the version that has probably undergone the Chinese-whisper treatment around the village. It sounded nasty.’ He stepped in and Millie quickly closed the door again. ‘You want to tell me what
actually
happened?’
‘Come into the back room,’ Millie said. ‘Do you have time for a drink?’
‘I’ve got marking, but as long as I head back at around eight-ish I should get that done ok.’
‘Who told you?’ Millie asked as she led him away from the front door.
‘Terri…’
Millie turned to him and raised her eyebrows in a question.
‘The newsagent,’ he clarified.
‘I’ve never even met him…’
‘
Her
,’ Spencer smiled. ‘I don’t know where she had it from. I just called in after work to pay the newspaper bill. You’re a murderer who should be run out of town, apparently.’
‘I’ll be sure not to pop in any time soon then; she might have a pitchfork behind the counter. What else did she say?’
‘A lot of stuff I knew wasn’t true. That’s why I came round to see you. I know what people can be like around here. There are a lot of good souls and for the most part they’re welcoming, but news travels fast and people close ranks against outsiders pretty quickly if they think they’re bringing trouble to the village.’
‘I guessed as much. That’s why I’m packing.’
Spencer shoved his hands deep in his pockets and scanned the room. Boxes lay open alongside hastily collected piles of belongings ready to fill them. ‘That seems a bit extreme. Surely when people hear what really happened it’ll all blow over?’
‘That’s just it. What really happened is pretty much as bad as people believe.’
‘I don’t think for a minute—’
Millie raised a hand to silence him. ‘You don’t think that I could kill someone? I didn’t raise a gun to his head or cut his throat – but it was my fault.’
Spencer stared at her.
‘You can leave now if you want to. I wouldn’t blame you.’
There was a heartbeat’s pause before he answered her. ‘I think I’m a good judge of character. I don’t think there’s any reason for me to leave and if you want to talk, I’m good at listening too. Maybe I can make my own mind up about whether you’re really a cold-blooded killer or not.’
Millie shifted a box from a bench seat and gestured for him to sit, settling herself alongside him. ‘You’re sure you want to hear this?’
‘Of course.’
Millie took a deep breath. ‘Michael was my soulmate. We shared no interests, had almost completely opposing views on the world, even hated each other’s music and films… but there was something that connected us. I can’t describe it, but it was like I couldn’t breathe unless he was breathing with me…’
Spencer nodded again. But this time there was sadness in his expression. ‘I know that feeling,’ he said quietly. When he said no more, Millie continued.
‘But one day everything changed. I don’t know why or how, but I felt different. It happens, I suppose the differences between us became too much and I realised I’d fallen out of love with him. We limped on for a few months, and all the while I lived this lie, letting him think that I still saw a future for us because I was too afraid to cause the pain I knew would come from telling him the truth. I still loved him dearly as a friend, and I desperately wanted to spare his feelings. It was awful, every day smiling and telling him that everything was good, and I was terrified of what it would do to him if I told him the truth. I suppose part of me wanted to fall back in love, to get back what we once had. It felt like my fault, like there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t love this amazing, kind, gentle man who any woman would be lucky to have and who I didn’t deserve, and I kept convincing myself that if I just gave it time things would be right again. Deep down I knew it wouldn’t happen, but anything was better than breaking his heart.’ Her eyes filled with tears and she sniffed them back.