The Lighter Side of Large (36 page)

I bite my lip, mortified. Maybe staying here with Amanda isn’t a good idea after all. Jae said we could come back some other time, so I wonder if that’s the better idea. The thought of another night with Amanda hearing my snores makes me blush with shame. I glance out the window and see Cat and Riyaan seated across from each other and wonder how they’ll take the news. But as I watch them, their postures stiff and uneasy, I realise we can’t leave for their sakes. Riyaan’s world just exploded; Cat finally revealed herself after two decades to her son. Can I take this time away from them? What better place to become acquainted as mother and son than in the peaceful surroundings here at the cabin?

I glance at Jae, who winks at me. “I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I found the snoring quite soothing.” His words bring a relieved smile to my face.
Good,
I think.
So my first night with my new boyfriend isn’t a total disaster.

Amanda rolls her eyes. “You probably never even heard it. You always did sleep like a rock.”

My smile falters. Is Jae lying? Amanda’s familiarity with Jae makes me uneasy.
I’ll feel terrible if you leave,
she had said. But I feel terrible because I stay.

•

Late afternoon, Riyaan and Cat are still on the deck talking. Pierce is hidden somewhere inside the cabin working. Jae and I go for a short walk, discussing the latest development in what is turning out to be a wacky weekend. The walk tires me out, so I sit on the dock watching him and Sands dart back and forth across the sound on jet skis while I doodle caricatures on a notepad and write bits for my blog. I have no idea where Amanda is or what she is doing.

Jae returns to the dock, looking sexier than ever with his shock of wet hair. “My jet ski isn’t running right.”

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Jae shakes his head. “Nothing a screwdriver can’t handle. Be back in a minute.” He jogs up the trail leading to the barn. But several minutes pass and he doesn’t return. Curious, and wanting company, I set down the notepad and waddle up the hill after him.

Coming around the corner of the barn near the door, I hear voices. “What are you doing? It’s like she’s from another planet. Is she for real? Jae, I’m shocked. I really am. You can have whatever girlfriend you want; it’s none of my concern, but her? I can’t believe you’re that desperate.” Amanda’s voice is clear - and clearly scornful.

“She’s more real than most women I know,” Jae says angrily.

“What is that supposed to mean? I’m not trying to pick a fight; I’m just pointing out the obvious. Can you really imagine her in our world, or, let’s say, at one of our corporate events? What are you going to do, stick a sack over her?”

“That’s enough!” Jae nearly shouts. “What is it with you people?”

“People? I’m one person. Or has someone else brought up this subject? Maybe you need to listen to our concerns, the voice of reason over your emotions. This infatuation can’t last long or be good for you.”

“This is not an infatuation,” Jae growls. “When have you ever known me to be infatuated? When have you ever known me to make decisions based on whims or emotional need? Huh? Can you tell me that? No, you can’t, because that’s not me and you know it.”

Amanda’s voice rises in pitch. “She’s a single mother, for heaven’s sake. And she has crazy friends. Do you really want to get sucked into this?”

“They’re my friends, too. And I think her kids are great.”

“But what does she offer you, Jae? You have everything and she has nothing. What possible attraction is there? Please, Jae, stop while you’re ahead. Put a stop to this farce before you or she gets hurt. She seems like a nice girl but, really, don’t do this to her.”

I can’t bear to listen anymore and walk away as fast as I can. When I reach the dock, Sands pulls up on her jet ski laughing and smiling. I glace back at the barn. Amanda is halfway to the house but Jae is nowhere in sight.

“You all right?” Sands asks. “Where’s Jae?”

I put on a plastic smile. “In the barn. He went to fetch a tool to fix his jet ski.”

“Mm,” Sands says, towel-drying her hair. “I’ve been thinking.”

“God help us all,” I murmur.

“Har-har. Seriously, I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?” I ask out of politeness. Right now I really don’t want to think about anything. I want to be alone in my misery. Though Jae disagreed with Amanda’s assessment of me, it still hurt to know what she really thinks of me.

Sands drops the towel. “Remember how rude those salesgirls were to you at AmandaE?”

“How can I forget?”

“Well, I think you should do something about it. That was discrimination.”

I shrug. “What can I do? The incident is over and done with. Technically, I couldn’t have bought any clothes besides shoes from there, so what’s the point?”

“My point is,” Sands leans over and pokes my side. “that you aren’t that many sizes away from being able to shop there. So are you going to start shopping there once you lose more weight?”

“I hadn’t thought about it,” I reply. “Probably not. Why should I give them my money after the way they treated me?”

“Exactly!” Sands snaps her fingers. “I don’t shop there anymore because of how they treated you. I’m just speculating on how they’d treat you if you walked in their store tomorrow. You need to give them their come-uppance.”

I snort. “Come-uppance?”

“Yes,” Sands nods vigorously. “I’ll come with you. It’ll be like that scene in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts returns to the store that disrespected her.”

“Don’t be silly” I chuckle.

“And then you can write about it on your blog,” she adds.

I stop chuckling. “Yeah, I can,” I say. “That’s a good idea.”

“How many followers do you have?” Sands asks.

“A couple dozen,” I say.

Sand grins. “I can see the title now:
Discrimination in Style, or The Thin, The Bad and The Ugly,
or
Pretty Fat Woman,
or…”

“Or leave it to me to come up with a good title,” I finish for her just as Jae walks up.

“Find what you need?” Sands asks. I glance at him to gauge his emotions, but he has them hidden.

He shakes his head. “No. But that’s okay. I’m getting hungry. Want to have lunch and go for a helicopter ride over the sounds this afternoon?”

“Awesome,” Sands exclaims.

“Great,” I add with false enthusiasm.

Riyaan and Cat decline the offer of the helicopter ride, so after lunch we leave them to themselves and take off in Jae’s Jeep to the small airport nearby. While the helicopter is prepared and Sands flirts with the pilot, Jae and I sit on a bench in the shade of the hangar.

“Are you enjoying yourself despite the company?” Jae asks, worry in his voice.

“Of course I am,” I lie. “I’m with you. That’s all that matters.” At least that part is true. “Amanda seems really nice. How long have she and Pierce been married?”

“Three years,” he says.

“No kids yet?” I inquire.

Jae chuckles. “Amanda is not the motherly type. It’s another reason we grew apart. I wanted a family while she wanted bigger and better job titles. She’s very career-oriented. So is Pierce. That’s why they get along so well.”

“You want a family?” I ask. “How big?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jae smiles shyly. “A couple of kids would make me happy.”

My heart leaps and I smile back. And yet it is a bittersweet moment. Jae wants kids and can accept my children, but that doesn’t mean I fit in his world. Will he always do business with Amanda? Will I be relegated to the corner when it came to business? Am I really that much of an embarrassment to someone on his level?

“Hello, Earth to Bella,” Jae says, waving. “You look like you are a million miles away. You okay? If you’re too tired, we can skip the ride.”

“No, I’m fine,” I insist, standing. “Let’s go.”

•

The exhilaration of the helicopter ride coupled with the breathtaking views of verdant green hills surrounded by electric blue water almost makes me forget about what Amanda said. But it all comes crashing down on my heart again when we return to the cabin.

Amanda and Pierce’s vehicle is gone and the cabin is quiet. “Hello?” Jae calls. We go into the kitchen to find Cat staring at the table.

I lay a hand on her shoulder. “How are you?”

“Ecstatic,” she replies in monotone. I glance at Sands and Jae; I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or serious.

“Where’s Riyaan?” Sands asks.

She points straight ahead, out the window. Riyaan is sitting on the edge of the dock, staring across the water.

“I’m going to check on him,” I announce. When I reach the dock, Riyaan dabs his eyes.

I ease myself down next to him. “Are you going to be okay, hon?” I ask.

Riyaan sniffles and smiles. “Yes,” his voice cracks. “It’s not every day you get to meet your real mother and find out you already know her. And that she’s the craziest person you know - and a bag lady.”

I squeeze his hand. “What a shock. May I ask…” I hesitate, not wanting to pry during this emotional time.

“It’s okay,” Riyaan squeezes back. “We had a lot of catching up to do. We still do, but it’s a start. We won’t need a DNA test or anything. It’s clear Cat is my mother. I guess having your son taken away and your reputation discredited and a cheating husband is enough to send a person off the deep end.”

“What happens now?” I ask.

Riyaan takes a deep breath, exhales, and laughs. “I don’t know. Cat came to Nelson to find me and has kept an eye on me all these years. And now I just don’t know. I offered for her to move in with me but she’s not ready to leave the streets. I think she’s going to need counselling and rehabilitation to re-enter mainstream society.”

I laugh. “Yes, she will need that.” I shake my head. “This has been one hell of a weekend for surprises.”

Riyaan puts his arm around me. “You poor thing. The nerve of that woman showing up here on your weekend. She spoiled everything.”

“No, it’s all just a big mistake,” I say, though I do feel like she spoiled everything.

“I think Jae’s made a much better choice of woman in you than her,” Riyaan says.

“Thanks,” I sigh. “At least she’s handling your mum well.” I chuckle. “Lordy, does that sound strange to say: your mum.”

“It sounds strange to hear,” Riyaan agrees. “Then again, we are a strange group of people.”

We look at each other and burst out laughing.

To make up for their intrusion into our weekend, Amanda and Pierce return from their outing with groceries. They prepare a lovely dinner of salmon steaks, Caesar salad, asparagus and crusty French bread, followed by peach cobbler topped by vanilla ice-cream for dessert. I get to watch everyone relish the meal as I sip on a protein drink.

After dinner, we play charades and a trivia game where we divide up into three teams. Jae and I make up one team, Amanda and Pierce the second, and Sands and Riyaan the third. Cat remains on the sidelines, silent but watching Riyaan intently. With every round, we get louder and rowdier, laughing the whole time. I can almost forget that Amanda thinks the worst of me. Jae and I win each game.

“You two are quite the team to beat,” Pierce says after the final game.

Jae looks at me, and smiles. I blush with pride. But catching Amanda’s eye, my heart sinks. Am I just kidding myself? Am I in denial? Is this relationship really going to work when there’s so much opposition from Jae’s friends? If this is what his friends think of me, what will his family think? I want it to work; I want to be with Jae.

Later that evening after everyone has gone to bed, Jae and I cuddle again on the deck. “What are you thinking about?” he murmurs. My head is against his chest; I can hear his voice reverberate deep inside.

I sigh. “Why someone like you would like someone like me.”

He gently pushes me off him so he can see my face. “What is that supposed to mean?”

I grimace. “Well, we’re not exactly from the same side of the tracks, from the same worlds. I’m…”

“Beautiful,” he says firmly. “And kind and funny and adventurous and talented and witty and smart and sweet. You are exactly the right kind of person for me. I want ‘someone like you’. And don’t you ever doubt it. This is about Amanda, isn’t it?”

I don’t have to answer; my expression gives it away.”I’m not with her anymore, Bella. I don’t love her anymore. It’s over between us. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you we still own this place together. I’ll sell my half to her tomorrow if that will make you feel better.”

“No, don’t do that,” I protest.

“But I will do it if it will put your mind at ease.”

I sigh again. “I just want to make sure that you are sure you want me in your life.”

In reply, Jae leans forward and kisses me. His mouth opens under mine and the fire kindled by his touch burns hotter with every moment. I become dizzy; I can’t remember ever kissing anyone like this before.