The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged (44 page)

Her eyes widened and she shook her head, but
he put his hands on both cheeks. “Anna, don’t you dare try and
manipulate me.” He gave her a stern look and she blinked rapidly a
moment before bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. She gazed up at
him, all hints of seduction gone. “I’m sorry, Alex, but I can't
stand the thought of you leaving me.” The tears slid down the sides
of her face and onto his hands. “Please,” she whispered. “Please
don’t leave me. I’ll be a nervous wreck the entire time.”

“You can call me while I’m gone.”

“But what if you don’t pick up? What if
something happens to you?” Her green eyes were filled with grief.
“Please, Alex. Please don’t leave me here.”

Alex rolled to his back and ran his hands
through his hair. The thought of leaving her didn’t sit well with
him either. He knew she’d be a mess with him gone. But what could
he do?

“Anna, even if I take you to San Francisco, I
still have to go to Boston.” He sighed. “I don’t want you seeing
what I do.”

“It’s okay if I know, but not okay if I see?”
She sat up on her elbow and frowned. “Alex, Devin killed Ben in
front of me. Tyler is as cruel as Devin. Oscar nearly killed me.
Rylan raped me so many times I can hardly count. Seeing you ‘work’
can’t be any worse than that.”

He grimaced at the truth of her words, but he
couldn’t take her with him. “Anna, you have to dance while I’m in
Boston. I can’t take you away from that.”

“Change the date.”

“What?” he exclaimed. “Anna, we’ve worked out
the details. I can’t just call my father and tell him I’m pushing
off the job. You don’t do that to Elders.”

“Fine.” She rolled over and stood up. “I’ll
call him.”

She started to walk away and Alex jumped up
and lunged after her. “Anna, you can’t do that.”

She spun around. “Why not? Why are they
making you leave me? Don’t they know what that will do to me?”

“I’m doing this for you,
Schatzi
,”
Alex said in a raspy voice. “I know your country will be better off
without these men, but the only thought that will be going through
my head as I pull the trigger is how much they hurt you.”

She began to shake and Alex briefly became
concerned that she was going to rage again. He hadn’t told her
about the previous night yet. He studied her eyes, but there was no
anger. Only what could be described as insane grief.

She dropped to her knees and hugged his legs.
“Please, Alex. I can’t lose you again. I can’t. I won’t
survive.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,
Schatzi
.” He bent down to pull her arms from around his
legs before crouching down next to her and hugging her tightly.

“That’s what you said the last time,” she
sobbed into his shoulder.

He stared out the window behind her as he
stroked her hair. “I will talk to Vati. If he believes it is a
possibility, I will approach Tom and Vlad.” He pulled her away
slightly and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “But we must obey our
Elders, Anna. I cannot go against their wishes.”

Anna nodded and sniffed. “Okay.” She gave him
a brave smile through her tears.

Alex hoped Vati had a solution for this. He
had no idea what to do.

“What was it like?”

Alex looked up from his lunch. “What was what
like?”

“Being in Russia.” Anna’s fork was halfway to
her mouth, holding a cluster of romaine lettuce and Parmesan
cheese. They sat together upstairs, in the windowed conservatory
that overlooked his terrace and Central Park.

Alex thought for a moment and then gave a
half-smile. “Boring.”

Anna giggled. “Boring?”

He shrugged. “There wasn’t much to do. After
we realized there was no chance of escape, we just...accepted
it....”

I sat in my room next to the window,
reading, most days. There wasn’t much else to do. Three and a half
years passed sitting by that window. The world went on, but still I
sat there. For a prison, it wasn’t so bad. We had good meals every
day down in the well-appointed dining room, unless there were
guests. We were given time outside and time in the library when
requested. Vitaly even had a gym downstairs for us to use.

You had appeared in this room when I
first was captured but you were faint, and I hadn’t been certain
you were real. You didn’t speak very coherently, and when you
disappeared, I wondered if it had been a dream. Then there was
nothing for two years.

Those were my dark days. My men tried to
cheer me, but it didn’t work. Despair and depression crept in and I
did very little except sit in my chair and stare at the spot where
you had stood, willing you to come back, but you didn’t. Vitaly
wouldn’t tell me anything that was going on, though sometimes he
hinted that you were dead, or married to someone else and happy.
Anything to torment me. That fucking bastard. And to think he had
been a family friend.

Vlad was just as bad when he visited,
though he seemed more reasonable on some levels. Vitaly seemed as
bad as Devin. Vlad at least tried to understand and was
sympathetic...a little.

It was one of my darker days when I
sensed you again. I was staring out the window at nothing when I
heard a wisp of a sound. I was afraid to look; I had looked so many
times before. But when you said my name...my heart leapt and I
turned to see you, my beautiful sweet wife, older, thinner,
sick-looking even. But you were there. It took everything inside me
to not run over there. I knew you would disappear at my touch, so I
just looked, gazing into your beautiful green eyes, willing you to
feel my love and longing.

“Are you really there?” I asked in a
raspy voice, but you frowned, and I realized I’d spoken in German.
Same mistake I’d made so many years ago. I smiled at my foolishness
and tried again in English.

Your eyes widened and you took a step
back and shook your head. “You’re dead. This isn’t real. No!” you
shouted, and disappeared.

I slumped in my chair and stared at the
spot. You had come, but you didn’t want to be there. Did you no
longer love me? I looked at the ceiling and let my tears flow
freely. My beloved Schatzi. Did you hate me? Why had you come? Was
it something Devin had cooked up to torment me?

I still had no answers to my questions
when Seth came into my room later to get me for dinner.

“She came,” I said in a broken voice.
“She came and she hated me.”

Seth walked into the room and knelt down
next to my chair. “Alex, she would never hate you. What
happened?”

I told Seth what had happened.

“You’ve been gone for two years and you
haven’t seen her since you first got here. She was probably scared
and hurting. I know Anna. She would never hate you.
Never.”

I gave my friend an uncertain smile and
swallowed. “You think so?”

Seth grinned. “Either that or your
appearance scared the shit out of her. Have you looked at yourself
lately?”

I shook my head. “Do I look that
bad?”

“Well, you look better than a bum on the
street. But only just.”

I chuckled. “Maybe I should trim my
beard.”

“Maybe. Or at least brush it so you make
sure there aren’t any rats living in it.”

Seth had been right; I looked like shit.
From then on, I kept my hair combed and beard trimmed in hopes that
you would come. It was several months later when you did. I had
almost not bothered that day, but was glad I did.

The hurt in your eyes was evident when I
turned to see you. God, it broke my heart. You accused me of
abandoning you. You were hurt and angry. I thought trying to assure
you that I was real would help, but I was wrong. It only made you
more upset. Without thinking, I reached out to you and you were
gone. I fell to my knees and wept.

When you came again, you seemed reluctant
to be there, but calmer. God, you were so beautiful. You looked
healthier than before, which made me feel better. You refused to
accept that I was real, and I didn’t push it. I was thrilled to see
you still wore your wedding ring, as I did. You might not know that
I was still your husband, but I certainly knew you were still my
wife, and knowing you still wore my ring...it made me want to
fly.

It killed me that I couldn’t comfort you
when you started crying about the baby. I had been adamant about
finding out about the baby and had been stunned when Vlad told me
what Devin had done. But that had been years ago, and you were
still grieving? It didn’t make any sense. Not that what happened
wasn’t traumatic, but I was confused until I found out, much later,
that you had been on drugs for two years, until Devin had demanded
you get sober. I swore that when I got out of there I would make
Devin pay for what he had done to you.

But you had reached for me before you
left. The briefest touch and you were gone, but it warmed my heart.
Maybe you would forgive me after all.

The next time you came, I accepted that I
needed to let you think it was just a dream. You were calmer and
didn’t get upset if I let you think you were dreaming. You stayed
much longer and I was able to find out a lot about what Devin had
been doing. He was taking your powers from you for his own, and it
frustrated me to no end that I couldn't do anything about it. I
made you leave when the contact became too burdensome and you began
to hurt. I liked that you didn’t want to leave. You told me you
loved me, and I lived on those words for a long time.

Shortly after that, Vlad began visiting
me more often. He seemed to genuinely want to know about my
relationship with you, and about Devin. Vlad, in turn, gave me news
about you. That you still loved me and—

“Do you see her?” Vlad asked one morning
after a lengthy question and answer time.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you
mean?”

“She says she dreams of you but they’re
not real, like they used to be.” Vlad’s eyes softened. “Are they
real?”

I studied him for a few minutes. “Yes,” I
said finally. “Yes, she comes here. I let her think they’re dreams
because she gets upset when I try to tell her I’m real.”

Vlad nodded and left a few minutes
later.

The next time Vlad came, Peter was with
him. I was appalled at first at what Devin had done, making you
“date” someone, but as Peter spoke, I realized that Peter cared for
you deeply. Peter spent a few hours with me, telling me about what
you had been doing and reassured me several times that you still
missed me and that if I ever got free, you would willingly return
to me.

“Ever got free?” I snorted when he said
that. “Not as long as your grandfather is alive.”

Peter looked at me impassively and then
stood to leave. “He is an old man, Alex. Old men die.”

“Peter really said that?” Anna asked. She
vaguely remembered Aaron saying something about Vitaly being
killed.

Alex nodded. “Honestly, I think his death
was...artificially induced.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “Peter killed him?”

“I think it was more Vlad. Peter was with
you, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Vitaly slowly started getting sick, and
towards the end, I didn’t even see him. Vlad seemed...unsurprised
and rather unemotional when he came to tell me....”

Time passed, Vitaly was still alive and
even Vlad didn’t come visit anymore. You came every once in a while
and, as long as I didn’t try to convince you I was real, you were
fine.

I’d seen you just a few days before and
you looked so dejected. You said you were lonely. Promises of dead
men, you said. Those words tore into my heart. I longed to prove
that I would come, but how could I? It was too painful to
hope.

I realized that I had been staring out
the window. Not that it mattered. I had the rest of my life to
finish the book in my lap. I could stare at the Russian blue sky
all I wanted, and still have time to finish my book.

I sighed and stood, placing the book on
the table next to me. Maybe I’d ask for some time outside. It would
get cold soon; too cold to go out. I ran my hands through my hair
and interlaced my fingers on top of my head as I looked out the
window to the small world I had inhabited for so long.

A sharp rap sounded on the door and then
it opened. I turned to see Vlad standing in the doorway with a very
somber expression on his face.

“My father is dead,” he announced without
emotion.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Vlad,” I said
sincerely, for Vlad’s sake. It would be tough to lose a father,
even one as harsh as Vitaly.

“Yes, well....” Vlad looked at me
uncomfortably. “Anna will be here in a few days and I must take you
all down to the cellar until she’s gone.”

The cellar was a freezing cement room
that we were taken to whenever there were guests in the house. It
was also where I and my men spent our first few weeks in St.
Petersburg.

“Anna’s coming here?” I asked, with more
emotion than I’d expected to show.

“I don’t think she’ll come here to the
house, but she will be in town. If she senses you here...Devin will
not like it.”

Devin
won't like
it? I studied Vlad carefully. “What about you?”

“I don’t want her to be hurt,” Vlad said
slowly.

I snorted. “If you don’t want her hurt,
let me and my men go.”

“When the funeral is over, I will
reconsider many things my father did.” He gave me a pointed look.
“But until then, the protections on the house must be strengthened.
There cannot be a hint of anyone knowing you are here, or
Devin
would be very upset.”