The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced (45 page)

She began to sob and he put his arms around
her. She wouldn’t shut down again. At least not for a while. Her
feelings would stay raw until her brain couldn’t take it anymore
and she shut down again. But by then she would be home.

He handed her a tissue and she blotted her
eyes, though the tears kept spilling.

“Why did you do that?” she asked quietly. “I
liked not feeling anything.”

“It’s not healthy to shut down like that,
Anna.”

“It hurts!” She rubbed her chest.

“I know, Baby. But avoiding the pain will
just prolong it.”

“I don’t want to feel!”

“But if you don’t feel, you won’t feel
anything good either.”

“What could possibly feel good?” she
spat.

Devin smiled and reached forward to touch her
breast. She sucked in a breath and held it while he caressed her in
the way he knew she liked. “Does that feel good?” he whispered.

Her eyes closed and her lips parted as she
nodded.

“There are good things to feel, even when
you’re hurting Anna. If you shut down, you won’t feel like this
again.” He slid his hand under her sweater and caressed her breast
over her thin cotton bra. Her nipple was taut and he squeezed it,
making her gasp.

She moaned softly and then whimpered when he
withdrew his hand. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Please
don’t stop,” she begged.

Devin smiled gently. “Baby, as much as I’d
like to, I can’t fuck you here on the couch in Wilhelm’s
house.”

She looked around as if she didn’t realize
where she was. “Oh.”

“When you come home, I promise I will make
you feel really, really good.” He cupped her chin and kissed her on
the mouth.

“I don’t know when I’m coming home.”

“Anna, he can’t keep you here if you don’t
want to be here. I’m leaving Monday morning. I can get you a ticket
to come with me if you’d like, but it’s up to you. If you’d rather
stay here....” He shrugged. He couldn’t force her to leave. He
could only make it miserable to stay.

She shook her head. “I can’t leave
Wilhelm.”

“Baby, Wilhelm has a family to take care of.”
He stroked her cheek.

Anna looked confused and then sad.

“I should go. I know I’m not exactly welcome
here, but I wanted to check on you.”

Anna looked up at him with sad eyes. “You’re
leaving me?”

“Only because I have to, Baby. I’ll see you
tonight at the Manor, or whatever the fuck they call it here.”

“
Schloss
,” Anna said quietly.

Devin rolled his eyes and stood.

Anna stared at her hands as tears rolled down
her cheeks.

Devin reached into his pocket and handed Anna
a tiny plastic bag. “Here. If things get too...painful, take this.
It will help.”

Anna held up the bag and looked at the small
white pill. “What is it?”

“Something to help you feel better. It’s only
a half dose. You shouldn’t take it without someone being around,
but I don’t think Wilhelm would approve. Only take it if you need
it.” And she would need it. He was sure of it. He kissed her on the
top of her head. “Don’t take it before the Gathering.”

Anna nodded and put the bag in her
pocket.

Having accomplished what he came to do, Devin
found his way out of the house and drove back to his hotel,
confident that Anna would be returning to San Francisco with him on
Monday.

*****

Anna sat for a moment in the salon and then
stood to find Wilhelm. The pain in her chest was so agonizing, she
thought she would die. She missed Alex so much she could hardly
breathe.

She went to Wilhelm’s study and knocked on
the door.

“
Herein.
”

She opened the door and found Wilhelm and
Kurt inside.

She looked at both of them for a moment.
“What time do we need to leave?”

They both stared at her.

“Em,” Wilhelm said slowly. “In about an hour,
I think.”

“I’ll be in my room, if that’s all
right?”

Wilhelm nodded. “I’ll come get you when it's
time.”

She nodded and closed the door and went up to
Alex’s room. As soon as the door opened, the pain in her heart
increased to incredible levels. The memories flooded into her brain
and overwhelmed her.

She huddled in the corner by the door and
wept.

*****

“Is it me, or did she look coherent?” Kurt
asked, staring at the closed door.

Wilhelm also stared at the door, concerned
and relieved at the same time. “Yes, she did.”

“That’s good, right?” Kurt said, looking
hopeful.

Wilhelm shook his head. “I don’t know. I’m
glad she’s...alert, but I wonder what Devin did.” He sighed. “I
don’t trust that man. He’s going to try to manipulate Anna to go
back to San Francisco, I just know it.”

“But she can’t stay here for long, can she? I
mean, if Alex were here it’d be different...”

It was true. Elder Mistresses were linked to
their birthplaces. If Anna stayed here for an extended period of
time, she would start to get sick. She had to be in her hometown or
with her Master. Only Alex could have kept her here without hurting
her. Wilhelm didn’t have enough power to override her need for
Devin and San Francisco.

Anna sat at Wilhelm’s feet in the
Schloss’s
Great Hall. There were almost as many white
robes as there were blue and green. Elders, Deacons and Brothers
from around the world had come to say goodbye to Alex and his
men.

The pain of listening to so many people talk
about Alex made Anna want to scream. Wilhelm had done something to
her so she couldn’t speak, which was probably a good thing.
Otherwise, she would be screaming. As it was, she sat on the pillow
and the tears streamed down her face.

The
Schloss Dirne
were there, as
well as the other Elder-Mistresses. She could sense them, though
she couldn’t see them.

Men in green robes walked up an aisle
carrying black robes, save one who carried a white robe. Alex’s
robe. Wilhelm stood and took the robe from the man and then, one
after the other, the robes were placed in a large brazier to burn.
Alex’s was last. She stared at the fire as it consumed the
fabric.

Goodbye my husband. My Master. My
love.

Kurt was brought forward and Wilhelm declared
him his Elder-Son. He received his double ring piercing and
demonstrated his submission to his father.

When the ceremony was over, the gathering
became more like a normal gathering. Wilhelm told her that he hoped
the men would respect her grief and not approach, but if they did,
she would have to attend to them. She was the first Elder-Mistress
to be married in a long time, so the men might not think about the
fact that Anna would be grieving. Apparently, half-Immortals were
not prone to much emotion. Little affected them.

She saw the other Mistresses flirting and
attending to the Elders. They were all beautiful and graceful, and
Anna could hardly take her eyes off them. If only she were more
like them, maybe she wouldn’t be hurting so badly.

*****

Wilhelm saw Devin talking with Vitaly in the
back of the room. Something about the two of them together didn’t
sit right with him, though Wilhelm couldn’t pinpoint a reason. He
would have to keep an eye on them.

He patted Anna’s head. He wished there was
something he could do to comfort her.

A tall, blond young man was watching Anna
from a few feet away. He looked like he wanted to go to her, but
couldn’t make up his mind. Wilhelm frowned. Fathers didn’t teach
respect these days. He figured if Anna would be approached, it
would probably be one of the Sons.

The young man seemed to make up his mind and
nervously approached the platform where Wilhelm sat. He looked at
Wilhelm and gave him a timid smile.

“Excuse me, my lord. Could I please speak to
Ann-I mean, the Mistress?”

Anna’s head lifted suddenly and she looked at
the young man.

“Who are you?” he asked sternly.

“My name is Tommy Pendleton. I-My father is
Tom Pendleton, of New York.”

Tommy shifted from foot to foot, which amused
Wilhelm. He didn’t seem like the typical cocky Elder-Son. And Anna
seemed to know him.

Wilhelm nodded, and Tommy stepped forward and
knelt in front of Anna.

“Hey, Anna,” he said softly.

Anna looked at him for a long moment. “Good
evening, my lord,” she answered formally. Wilhelm had given back
her ability to speak after the rituals were completed.

Tommy frowned. “I hate it when you call me
that.”

“It’s proper,” she whispered.

He reached out his hand to stroke Anna’s
cheek. The tenderness in his eyes made Wilhelm relax. This young
man cared deeply for Anna. He wouldn’t hurt her.

“I’m so sorry about...everything, Anna,” he
said softly.

“Thank you, my lord. You are very kind.”

Tommy looked hurt. Anna was being very formal
while Tommy was trying to be kind. Was she afraid of Wilhelm
scolding her?

Kurt came to sit next to his father. “My ass
hurts,” he said in German.

Wilhelm chuckled. “I’m sorry, son. But that
is how it’s done.”

“Even Alex?”

“Of course. Did he tell you what happened the
night before his wedding?”

Kurt shook his head.

Wilhelm told him how all the German Elders
had taken Alex in the ass while not letting him orgasm.

“Men can really come from that?” Kurt seemed
bewildered.

“You’ve never been with a man?” Wilhelm was
surprised. He was fairly certain Kurt had done every sexual act
there was.

“Only to share a woman. I’ve never been
attracted to men, Vati.”

“Yes, men can come from that. Quite nicely,
actually.”

Kurt gave his father a startled look. “I
think I’ll stick to women.” He noticed Tommy talking to Anna.
“Who’s that?” he asked with a touch of defensiveness.

“Tommy Pendleton, of New York.”

“He likes her.”

“I believe you are right.”

Kurt frowned.

“Kurt, you may pursue her now, if you’d like.
But you need to be gentle and patient with her. And if you ever
treat her like you treated Gretchen, I’ll tan your hide.”

“I wouldn’t do that, Vati.”

“Good.”

Kurt watched Tommy and Anna for a while.
Tommy was trying to make Anna feel better, but she remained cool
and aloof. Tommy looked up at Wilhelm and Wilhelm gave him an
understanding smile.

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll
let you be alone, Anna. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tommy got up and walked away. Wilhelm’s heart
went out to him.

“Perhaps you should go to her tonight. When
we go home.”

“We’re not staying?”

Wilhelm shook his head. “I’m not in the mood.
I want to go home.”

*****

Anna lay huddled on the floor in front of the
fireplace. She couldn’t sleep. She stared into the dying flames and
thought of Alex. If she could rip her heart of out of her chest she
would. Nothing took away the pain.

Suddenly she remembered the pill that Devin
had given her. He said it would help her feel better. She jumped up
and ran to the bathroom where she had put it in a drawer. She
stared at it for a moment and then filled a cup with water and
swallowed the pill.

She returned to the fireplace and sat down in
the chair. How long would it take? What would it feel like?

After a while, she felt herself relaxing. The
ache in her heart dulled. It still hurt, but it was much better
than it had been. She might actually be able to get a decent
night’s sleep. She glanced at the big bed. It didn’t look so lonely
now.

She was crawling in under the covers when she
heard a sound coming from the bathroom. Her heart pounded as she
saw a shadow emerge and walk towards her.

“Alex?” she whispered. Was it his ghost?

“
Nein, Engel,
” came the voice from
the shadow.

Kurt walked up to the edge of the bed and
caressed her cheek. “I wanted to check and see how you were
doing.”

She gazed up into his eyes and put her hand
on his. She moved up onto her knees and pressed her lips to
his.

“Anna,” he groaned and pushed her back onto
the bed, kissing her and wrapping his arms around her. “
Oh,
mein Engel
.”

His kisses felt so good. His touch was
incredible.

“Make love to me, Kurt,” she whispered. And
he did.

She didn’t dream that night.

“Good morning, Anna,” Kurt whispered. He held
her tightly against his chest, her back to his front, and kissed
the back of her head.

Anna was awake, but she didn’t know if Kurt
knew that. The ache in her heart was back. Kurt’s voice was too
much like Alex’s. His embrace was too much like Alex’s. She lay in
the bed that she and Alex had shared together in his family’s home.
Everything reminded her of Alex and she didn’t want to remember
him. It hurt too much.

The pill had worked. She’d felt better, just
like Devin had said she would. But now she felt as bad as she did
before. She could deal with the pain of life as a dull ache. It was
the stabbing pain in the heart that she couldn’t deal with. And
that’s what she’d woken up with.

Maybe she could ask Devin if he had more at
the service this morning. She could make it through the day if she
had another one of those pills.

Kurt’s hand slid down to her breast and
cupped it gently. That felt good, too. Sex was enough of a
distraction as well. Sex and those little white pills. Yeah, she
could do that. She pressed her breast into his hand.

“Yes, Kurt,” she whispered and pressed her
ass back against his erection.

He kissed her neck and then turned her onto
her back and kissed her breast. “Such a beautiful sight in the
morning,” he murmured.