The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced (3 page)

But this might be the last time she got to
see him. He wouldn’t want her after this, after he knew the truth
about her. And she couldn’t lie anymore. It was over and she knew
it.

Her chest ached as she shook her head. “It’s
true, Ben,” she whispered, shoulders slumping. “Jack isn’t
lying.”

“You told me that you were spending time with
a family friend on Fridays.”

“Devin is a family friend. I told you I’ve
known him my whole life.”

“She just spends time with him and a hundred
of his friends. And she fucks most of them.”

Anna winced and closed her eyes.

“Get out of here, Jack,” Ben growled. “This
has nothing to do with you.”

Jack chuckled and stood. “Enjoy your evening.
I think I’ll call Devin. He’ll get a kick out of this.” He walked
away laughing.

“I’m so sorry, Ben,” she whispered, glancing
up at him. He looked so angry and he was staring off into the
distance.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” He shook his
head and met her eyes, his own eyes hard. “You go off on Friday
nights and fuck other men?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

“You’ve been doing it the whole time we’ve
been together?” he asked in a strained voice.

“I have to, Ben. Devin…punishes me if I
disobey him.”

“Punishes you? How?” His voice was cold.

“He…hurts me…however he wants to.”

“You’re trying to tell me that if you don’t
have sex with him, he punishes you?”

Anna nodded. “I’m his slave, Ben. I have to
do as he tells me.” Her voice cracked as she spoke.

Ben gave her a disgusted look. “Anna, this is
a free country. Slavery is illegal. You don’t have to do anything
like that if you don't want to.”

“You don’t understand, Ben. Devin…he owns…he
controls everything….”

He snorted. “That sounds like a really bad
excuse, Anna. You must like it or you wouldn’t go to him.” He
stood. “I can’t believe you’ve lied to me this whole time.” He
looked past her and shook his head. “I can’t be with someone who
lies and cheats. You do realize you’ve been cheating on me? Or were
you cheating on Devin?” His eyes grew cold. “You were never mine to
have, were you? If you
belong
to Devin, as you say, then
you were never….” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I
can’t believe I was deceived by you. I should have known you were
too good to be true. Is this how you get your kicks? Making men
fall in love with you?”

“Ben, please,” she implored. “I do love you.
With all my—”

He put his hands up. “Save it.”

He sighed and looked down at her with a
pained expression for a long minute, then reached out and stroked
her cheek. She leaned into his hand, hoping he had changed his mind
and would forgive her.

“Ben, please,” she implored. “I wish I didn’t
have to…have this other life. I’d give anything to be yours and
yours alone.” She took his hands in hers. “Please believe me.”

His eyes softened and hope rose inside her.
“I don’t know, Anna,” he said after a long moment of silence. “I…I
need time to think about all this. I’ll call you later.” He turned
and walked away without another word.

She watched him walk away and tried to blink
away the tears, but there were too many. She watched the door after
he walked out, hoping he’d come back in, but after a few minutes,
she realized he wouldn’t be coming back.

Her shoulders slumped and she slowly picked
up her purse and walked out of the bar. She made her way to her car
and got in, and burst into tears. Her forehead pressed into the
steering wheel and she sobbed for an eternity. This fresh pain in
her heart hurt all the worse after so many weeks of love and
pleasure. How could her heart forget that love always came around
to pain?

Anna tried to clear her head long enough to
figure out what to do next. Her phone rang and she dug for it
eagerly in her purse, thinking it was Ben. But it wasn’t Ben’s
picture; it was Kurt’s. She sighed. That was the last thing she
needed right now. But she had her duties. Her duties that had just
ruined her relationship with Ben. At least Kurt knew who she
was.

“Hello, Kurt,” she said in a cracked
voice.

“Engel!
Are you all right?” Kurt’s
voice instantly filled with concern.

“I….” She started to tell him she was fine,
but burst into tears before she could.

“Engel, where are you?”

She tried to speak, but couldn’t get any
words out.

“Anna, are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“I….” She sniffed. “I’m okay. Just…sad.”

“You sound more than sad, Engel. Where
are…oh, never mind. Anna, stay where you are. I will come get you.”
He ended the call and Anna tossed her phone on the seat next to
her.

Somewhere in her mind, she wondered how Kurt
would find her without her telling him where she was, but right now
she just didn’t care. She rested her head on the steering wheel
again and stared at her knees.

Her mind drifted to the past few wonderful
months with Ben as she waited for Kurt to arrive. A knock on the
window made her jump and she looked up to see Kurt peering into her
car with a concerned look on his face. She opened the door and he
gathered her into his arms, and she promptly burst into tears
again.

He murmured something in German and helped
her around to the passenger side of the car. He put her in and
fastened her seatbelt, then squeezed himself into the driver’s side
and drove away.

“Where are we going?” she asked in a broken
whisper.

“The hotel,” he said in his thickly accented
voice. He put his hand on her knee. “I am worried about you,
Engel
. You are very pale. Are you sick?”

Anna shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

She stared blankly out the window as Kurt
drove through the city. A few minutes later, Kurt pulled up in
front of the Ritz Carlton, the white palace not far from her
apartment.

A valet opened her door and Kurt hurried
around to help her out of the car. He took her hand and led her
into the hotel, to the elevators, and up to a hotel suite.

“Anna! What happened?” Wilhelm hurried over
to her and hugged her to him.

Anna closed her eyes, feeling safer than she
had in a long time. She realized that Kurt and Wilhelm, especially,
always had that effect on her.
And Alex
, a quiet voice
added, but she shushed it before it took hold. She adored both
Wilhelm and Kurt and their presence was a balm to her broken heart.
Wilhelm led her over to the couch and sat her down with his arm
around her. Kurt sat next to her and caressed her legs.

“Anna,
Liebling
, tell me what
happened,” Wilhelm urged in a gentle voice.

She started crying again as she told them
about her relationship with Ben and then the events earlier in the
evening. When she finished, they sat quietly together, Anna’s head
on Wilhelm’s chest. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her
head.

“I am sure he will call you soon, Anna,” Kurt
said in a soothing voice. “No one could give you up so easily. Not
if he truly loves you.”

“How could he forgive me for something like
that? I cheated on him.”

“Anna, being forced to have sex with another
man is hardly cheating,” Wilhelm said. “You did not choose your
life.”

She shook her head. “He was so angry and
disgusted with me.”

“Anna, what Devin makes you do makes me angry
and disgusted,” Wilhelm said. “It does not mean I feel that way
about you.”

She didn’t respond. Ben didn’t know anything
about the Brotherhood, or Council, as Devin was calling it now.

“
Liebling
, do you want to stay with
us tonight?” Wilhelm asked.

Anna nodded. She didn’t want to go back to
her lonely apartment. Too many memories of Ben there.

“Kurt, please call Jim and have him bring
some things of Anna’s over so she does not have to go get
them.”

Anna frowned. “Who’s Jim?” she asked as Kurt
left the room.

“Greg’s replacement while he is out of town.”
Wilhelm answered.

“Greg’s out of town?” She hardly saw him,
which was fine with her. She didn’t know that there was someone
else there while he was gone.

“
Ja
. Alex was called out of town
about a week ago. Otherwise, he would have been here with us. Greg
went with him.”

Anna remembered the last time Alex went out
of town. It was the beginning of the end between the two of them.
That’s when he came back and announced that he was going back to
Germany. She didn’t want to think about Alex right now.

“Anna, is there anything special you need
from your apartment?” Kurt asked from across the room.

She glanced at Wilhelm. “Do you want me to
stay the weekend like we had originally planned?”

“If you would like,
Liebling
. I
always love having you with us.” His blue eyes reflected his words.
So much like Alex…

Anna turned and told Kurt what she needed,
including her dress for opening night. “It’s dark pink chiffon that
goes lighter at the bottom and changes to purple.”

Kurt made a face that made Anna giggle and
repeated what she said to the person on the other end of the
call.

Anna leaned back against Wilhelm. “Why did
you get here so late? I thought you said you would be here earlier
today.”

“We got a late start. Issues with the jet,
but everything is fine now. We have had that one for many years. It
is time for a new one.”

“I guess it was good that you were late.” She
sighed. “At least Ben knows the truth about me now.”

“I cannot imagine him not understanding,
Liebling
. But, it is not easy, knowing that the woman you
love is being forced to do things that she does not want to do.
Does he know about Alex?”

Anna shook her head. “I didn’t even get a
chance to explain all that. Jack interrupted before I could.” She
shook her head. “Maybe it’s for the best and it should just end
now.” But she didn’t want it to end. She loved Ben. She missed him.
As much as she adored Wilhelm and Kurt, she loved Ben and would
give anything to be with him.

“Anna, if things…do work out with you two,
please do not feel obligated to be with Kurt and I. We want you to
be happy.”

She hugged Wilhelm. “Thank you, Wilhelm.”

Wilhelm ordered up dinner a while later and
they ate. The two men did their best to cheer Anna up, but it
didn’t work very well. She was quiet and miserable the whole
evening. But she did her best to not cry, though Wilhelm told her
to cry if she needed to.

“Anna, as much as I desire you, I am not
going to make you sleep with me,” Kurt said as the movie they were
watching ended.

“But.…”

“Anna, I want to make love to you, but only
if you want to. And I do not think you really want that right now,
do you?”

Anna bit her lip and shook her head
slowly.

“It’s all right,
Engel.
Really.” He
chuckled. “I think it might be better if you sleep with Vati
though. I do not know if I could control myself if you were in my
bed.”

“Kurt…,” she protested.

“Anna, I do not want to hurt you. I do not
want to do something unconsciously and make you regret it in the
morning. Vati has far more self-control than I do.”

“That comes from self-discipline, Kurt,”
Wilhelm laughed.

In the end, Anna went to sleep in Wilhelm’s
room, where he simply held her all night. Anna appreciated his big
body wrapped around her, giving her unconditional comfort.

*****

Thursday rehearsals were long. Jenna told
Anna that she’d seen Ben last night and that he’d been miserable.
Jenna had tried to fill in the gaps for him, answering questions as
best as she could.

“I think he’ll forgive you, Anna. He loves
you a lot and misses you. It’s just a lot to process. I told him
how Devin is and it’s not your fault. I even told him what Devin
did to me so he would understand the type of person Devin is.”

Anna was hopeful after she talked with Jenna.
If she had seen him and talked to him, then maybe he really would
forgive Anna.

She kept her phone near her at all times in
case Ben tried to call, but her phone remained silent.

When she returned to the hotel that evening,
she still hadn’t heard from him.

“Anna, you must give him time,” Kurt said,
squeezing her hand. “It is a lot to process.”

Friday came at last. Anna not only had
opening night jitters, but nerves from waiting to see if Ben would
call. Would he miss her first ever professional performance in the
Nutcracker?

Midday, she checked her phone to find a
message from Ben.

“Hey, Anna,” he said. “I’m ready to talk now.
I’ll be at the performance tonight and we can talk at the after
party, okay? I’ll see you then.”

There was no “I love you” and his voice
sounded strained. She couldn’t gather any clues from his message,
even after listening to it several times. He was going to end it,
she was certain. But then, why would he come to the performance and
the party if he was going to end it?

All afternoon she was on pins and needles,
anticipating what would happen that night. One minute she was
excited and ecstatic, the next she was despondent and in tears.

She tried to focus as she got ready that
evening, putting on her stage makeup, fixing her hair, and donning
her skimpy gold and green costume. The ritual helped calm her
ragged nerves.

A dozen pink roses were sent to her dressing
room without a card. She knew they were from Alex and ignored
them.

As they waited in the wings for their cue to
enter the second act, Travis hugged her and told her everything
would be all right. “If he doesn’t forgive you, I’ll go beat him
until he does,” Travis whispered in the darkness of the wings.