The Life of Anna, Part 3: Embraced (9 page)

Isaak clapped his hands and Aaron hurried to
his place. Anna looked more sad than angry now. He took that as a
good sign.

*****

Isaak told Anna he wanted her and Travis to
run through their dance, to prove to Isaak that she’d be able to
handle dancing tonight. She managed to clear her mind before
stepping out onto the stage.

She was prepared to get lost in the dance, as
usual, but this time something clicked in her head a few steps in
and she felt something she hadn’t felt before. She felt the
sensuality in the music, the sweet, pain-relieving sensation, and
let it take over. She danced the choreographed steps, but she used
her eyes and slight changes in her body, and suddenly she realized
she was seducing everyone who watched her. They were mesmerized.
She saw Travis’ eyes widen at her soft gaze and felt him react as
he held her and danced with her.

None of the steps changed, just the feeling
behind it.

The dance ended with Anna bent over Travis’
knee, backwards, with her arm over her head and Travis bending over
to her stomach. A foggy silence filled the theater.

Anna’s chest rose and fell in the silence and
she became frightened that she had upset someone. She hadn’t meant
to do it. It just happened.

“Holy shit, you two.” Isaak walked up to them
with wide eyes and his mouth slightly ajar.

Travis stirred and helped Anna to her feet.
Anna looked at Isaak nervously as he looked between the two of them
with dilated eyes. She could tell that he was doing his best to
tamp down his desire.

He stared at them for a moment more and then
cleared his throat. “I don’t think I’ve seen that dance interpreted
quite that way before.”

“I’m sorry, Isaak,” Anna said softly. “I
didn’t mean to.”

Isaak shook his head. “It’s all right, Anna.
It was beautiful. The, uh, reaction was unexpected, but you danced
beautifully.” Isaak’s cheeks reddened slightly, which made Anna
blush. “Really, Anna. It’s okay.” He smiled at her. “If you two
dance like that tonight…you’ll be the talk of the town. Now, go
home and rest.”

Anna nodded and went to her bag, avoiding the
looks of the other dancers who had stayed to watch.

Travis knelt down next to her to gather his
things. “Do you know how hard it is to dance with a hard-on, Anna?”
he whispered.

She turned to apologize and saw him grinning
at her. “I’m so sorry, Travis. I don’t know what happened.”

“The magic of an Elder-Mistress.” He shrugged
and grinned. “I don't mind…too much. But it does make me really
horny.”

Anna shrugged. “I could probably help you out
with that,” she said without thinking about it. And then she did
think about it and the distraction sounded nice.

He looked at her, shocked. “Anna….”

“Sex helps me feel better.”

He stared at her. “Anna, you’re grieving. I
don’t want you to regret anything.”

Tears filled her eyes. “If Devin came to my
place tonight he wouldn’t care if I were grieving or not. He’d have
sex with me anyways. And I think you’d be a bit nicer than
him.”

“Does he suck in the sack?”

Anna grimaced. “Not if he doesn’t want
to.”

Isaak walked up at that moment. “Anna, has
the family decided when the funeral will be?”

Anna nodded. “They were going to try for
Friday.”

Isaak nodded thoughtfully. “You should go. If
you want to dance in the matinee, just promise me you’ll have a
good warm up on your own.”

“I do want to dance, Isaak,” she said, tears
in her eyes. “Do you think that’s okay?”

He nodded. “I know you and I know your
reasons, Anna. You don’t have to justify yourself to me. If anyone
says anything, I will defend your decision.”

She gave him a small smile and hugged him.
“Thanks.”

“Go rest. I’ll see you tonight.”

Anna collapsed on her bed upon returning to
her apartment after rehearsal. Dancing had helped her feel better.
At least for a while. Jenna and Aaron were getting Jenna’s things
from her dad’s house and would be here soon.

Anna had gone home to rest, but rest eluded
her. She lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. The relief that
she had felt while dancing trickled out of her body like a leaking
pipe, only to be replaced by the pain of Ben’s loss. She turned on
her side and sobbed until she fell asleep.

Voices in the hallway woke her later. It was
Jenna and Aaron. Matt, too. She rolled off her bed and walked out
of her room. Jenna sat in the midst of dozens of boxes while Aaron
and Matt leaned against the wall, talking.

They smiled at her when she walked in.

“How are you doing, Matt?” she asked with a
weak smile.

He shrugged. “Okay. My parents are here.
Katherine and Ben’s sisters are working on packing up Ben’s things.
They wanted to see you if you woke up in time.”

Anna bit her lip. She didn’t want to go back
down to that apartment, but she didn’t want to be rude either. She
nodded and reluctantly made her way to Ben’s apartment.

She knocked on the door and a moment later,
Katherine opened it. Her eyes were red and puffy. She smiled and
hugged Anna, pulling her into the apartment.

“Hey, sweetheart. How ya doing?”

“Okay,” Anna answered. “Depends on the
moment.”

Katherine nodded. “I understand. I found
something I wanted to give you.” She took Anna’s hand and led her
to Ben’s bedroom.

Anna froze at the entrance. She didn’t want
to go in. Didn’t want to see his things being packed up into
boxes.

Katherine pulled her inside and she saw
Marcia and Ruth packing up his clothes. All his suits. He had
looked so handsome in them. Tears welled in Anna’s eyes.

“Here,” Katherine said, handing her the ring
box.

Anna stared at it as if it was a snake.

“He was going to ask you to marry him,”
Katherine said in a cracked voice. “At the party. That’s why we
were here.” She opened Anna’s hand and put the box in her hand. “He
would want you to have it. I know he would.”

Anna slowly opened the box to see the diamond
ring she’d seen while crying over his body. It was a beautiful
round diamond solitaire that sparkled in the light.

“The police detective called this morning,”
Katherine said and then swallowed. “She said that….” Anna saw the
tears in Katherine’s eyes as she cleared her throat. “His car had
apparently gotten caught in something under the bridge. He’d been
there since Friday night.”

Anna closed her eyes at the horrible image.
She knew it wasn’t true, but the picture was gruesome nonetheless.
She looked at Katherine again and felt the burden of guilt in her
chest once more. “I’m so sorry, Katherine,” she whispered.

“Anna, it’s not your fault. Accidents happen.
You can’t blame yourself.”

Yes, I can!
Anna shouted to herself.
It’s my fault your son is dead! If I hadn’t loved him...
.
Anna fell to the floor with a sob and couldn’t stop the wracking
sounds.
It’s all my fault.

Katherine put her arms around Anna and held
her while she cried. Katherine’s shoulders shook as if she were
crying as well. Anna's heart burned with guilt, knowing she was the
one to blame for this wonderful family’s grief.

“It’s not your fault, honey,” Katherine
repeated, petting her hair. “It’s not your fault.” She held Anna
until her tears subsided.

“I can't keep this, Katherine. It’s…he didn’t
give it to me.” She tried to hand the box back to Katherine.

“He would have,” Katherine protested pushing
her hand gently away. “If…he would have, Anna. He would have wanted
you to have it. I know he would.” She smiled. “You can wear it if
you’d like. You were more than just a girlfriend to him. He died
having found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life
with. I would have been proud to have you as a
daughter-in-law.”

Anna looked at her and shook her head. “No,”
she whispered. Not once she knew the truth about her.

Katherine took her hands. “Anna, Ben told
me…a little bit about your argument.”

Anna looked at her wide-eyed and tried to
pull away, but Katherine shook her head.

“He had forgiven you, Anna. He knew your
heart. He knew it wasn’t what you wanted. He loved you. He even
knew he might have to wait a while for you two to be able to marry,
but he was willing to wait.”

Anna stared at her. “You know what I am?” she
whispered.

Katherine stroked her hair and nodded. “I
know you are a beautiful young woman who was abused and made to do
things that you didn’t want to do. I know you still have to do some
of those things. And I know that you loved my son, and that my son
loved you.” She opened her arms and Anna crawled toward her and the
two women hugged. “I will always refer to you as his fiancé, Anna.
Even though he didn’t get to ask you.”

After a few minutes, she pulled back and
looked at Anna. “Honey, I don’t expect you to never fall in love
again. I don’t want you mourning him for the rest of your life. You
are young and beautiful and will make another mother-in-law very
happy someday.” She brushed Anna’s hair back from her face. “I
don’t want you to feel guilty if you fall in love with another man.
Ben would want you to be happy. Our family would never begrudge you
love and happiness.” Anna tried to look away, but Katherine cupped
her chin gently. “Anna, do you understand me?”

Anna gazed into the other woman’s eyes; so
much like Ben’s. Anna nodded, but swore to herself that she would
never fall in love again. Devin would resent and kill them, too. No
more distractions. Ever.

“What time is the funeral?” Anna asked,
trying to change the subject.

“Ten o’clock on Friday morning. We’d like you
to sit with us, if you’re willing. As part of the family.”

Anna nodded and gave her a weak smile. “I’d
like that.”

“Good.” Katherine’s voice cracked. “Now, you
should probably go rest for your performance tonight.”

Anna looked at her with the question in her
eyes. “Is it wrong for me to dance?”

Katherine smiled sadly and shook her head.
“We all mourn in different ways. Matt said you were a very talented
dancer and that Ben was enthralled with you.”

“It helps the pain go away,” Anna whispered.
“If only for a few minutes.”

“Then you should dance,” she said gently. “I
don’t think badly of you for doing so.”

Anna nodded. “Did you…I mean, would you like
to come while you’re in town? I’m sure I could ask Isaak to see if
there’s some tickets available.”

Katherine smiled. “That would be nice. To see
what Ben saw on his last night.”

“I’ll speak with Isaak tonight.”

“Don’t feel bad if you can’t. But I would
like to see it. Perhaps a few minutes of pain relief for the rest
of us?”

Anna smiled sadly and turned and walked
away.

When she got back to her bedroom, she closed
the door and looked at the ring sitting in its gray velvet. She
took it out and put it on her left finger. It fit perfectly. It was
so much simpler than the ring Devin had given her. Anna loved it,
because it was from Ben. She would wear it. In honor of Ben. And
perhaps to spite Devin. Right now she didn’t care what Devin
thought and ignored the warning bells that went off in her head at
that dangerous frame of mind.

Anna and Jenna went back to the theater early
that afternoon to get ready. Anna sat on the floor of her dressing
room and worked her pointe shoes until they were soft enough to
dance in. She sewed the ribbons on and put them on to test them.
When she was done, she tossed them aside and lay down on the floor
with her feet on the couch, staring at the ceiling and playing with
her engagement ring.

A knock made her jump.

“Anna?” It was Travis.

“Come in,” she said without emotion.

Travis entered and closed the door behind
him. “Hey, how ya doing?” he asked in a gentle voice.

Anna glanced at him. “I’ve had better
days.”

“I can imagine.”

Anna laughed bitterly. “I can actually say
that now…I’ve had better days.” She sighed. “I think it was easier
when I wasn’t able to say that.”

“It’ll will get better again, Anna.” Travis
sat on the couch and rubbed her legs. “It seems like it will never
be good again, but life will get better again.”

Anna snorted. “Right. You don’t have to deal
with Devin.”

“That’s true…but there will be other guys to
fall in love with.”

Anna shook her head. “No. There can’t be.
Devin would just kill them too.”

“Why do you say that?”

Anna looked down at her feet. “Devin killed
Ben because he was a distraction. Because I admitted that I’d
rather be with him than Devin. Devin won’t allow distractions.” She
sighed. “The whole point of falling in love is because you want to
be with them. I can’t do that again.”

“I’m sorry, Anna. I really am. What Devin
did…it’s unforgivable.”

They were quiet for a few minutes. Anna was
lost in her thoughts of Ben. The pain was unbearable and she wanted
to carve her heart out with a knife. Tears began to roll down her
cheeks and Travis sat down next to her and hugged her to his chest.
The stream of tears became a torrent and Travis rocked her and
kissed her head.

“Can half-Immortals die?” she asked in a
cracked voice. Maybe death would take away the ache in her
heart.

Travis was quiet for a moment. “I don’t
know,” he said finally. “I know Immortals can’t. I don’t know about
you.” He pulled away and cupped her chin. “I would be very sad if
you died, Anna. And so would a lot of other people.”

She frowned and then leaned her head back on
his chest. “After Ben was…gone, Devin had me taken up to his room
and he had sex with me. He made me feel when I didn’t want to feel.
And then he wouldn’t give me release. Then he tied me to his bed
and…he gave me a shot. My body felt like it was on fire.” She
looked at Travis with tears in her eyes. “Then Kaveh came and had
sex with me.”