The Legend (37 page)

“Jesus
Christ!” I screamed throwing my phone down the hallway when it kept ringing.
Immediately I fell to my knees outside the door to the trauma room they pushed
dad into. I lost it in Spencer’s arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Death
hovers over every turn when you race, waiting. But you never think it will
happen to you or to someone you’re close with. At least I didn’t. Even after
Ryder, I still had a false pretense to what it even meant. Now, it wasn’t just
hovering, it was suffocating us.

The part
that bothered me the most, here were two people, two legends. Rarely, in any
sport does an athlete reach the commanding levels that they had reached.

But they
had and now their lives hung in the balance attached to machines.

Machines
were breathing for them, machines were beating their hearts.

All we
could do was waiting; wait on time and wait on a machine.

Thousands
of devoted fans, family
...
the
entire world waited.

15.
          
 
Red Flag – Sway

Red Flag –
The flag displayed to stop the race.
Usually displayed for a
crash.

My night was
ordinary.

And when
you live the life we had for so many years, the ordinary days were nice.

Arie, Lexi
and I were having a movie marathon with Emma, Alley and Nancy. It was nice to
have the girls together with one little addition, Casten. Being grounded was
the reason but he apparently had a big date this weekend with a girl but when
he saw we were all cuddled up on in the movie room, he joined in on the fun. He
loved girly nights but swore us to secrecy that this would not be told to his
brother or cousins. We’d never rat him out though. Casten was great for girls’
nights.

We started
with simple girly movies like
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
and then
moved on to scary ones per Lexis’ request. I couldn’t understand why anyone
would want to watch a scary movie, in particular, the
Paranormal
movies.

Those
scared the living shit out of me, if that were possible to actually scare shit
from your body. I was nearly convinced after that.

Sometime
after midnight, I sent Jameson a text to see how the main went. I thought for
sure I’d hear from him once they got back to the hotel after the first night of
racing.

An hour
later, still nothing.

It was
about 1:30 Thursday morning when Alley’s phone began vibrating.

We all
looked at it as though it was some sort of bomb. We did just watch those damn
Paranormal
movies.

“That’s
strange
...
” Alley picked
up her phone off the leather ottoman at our feet. “It’s Carl with Simplex.”

“Oh jeez,
who’d he punch now?” I teased knowing my husband’s temper when it came to
racing sprint cars. “Let me guess, Brody?”

Lexi piped
in. “No, he’s in Vegas this weekend.”

Alley and
I both looked at her in surprise. They claimed they weren’t seeing each other
but that statement didn’t sound like it.

Alley smiled,
holding back her laughter when Lexi realized the slip.

Holding
the phone to her ear, Alley answered. “Carl, it’s one in the morning. This
better be serious.” She laughed. Carl had recently replaced Marcus when he
retired. We use to joke that he retired because of Jameson’s temper.

Arie was
asleep, her head rested on my lap when her cell phone started ringing. Then
Lexi’s followed by Casten’s. Their friends were texting them and calling.

Something
was strange but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Lexi
reached for her phone and then screamed, “Oh my god!”

All of us
perked up including Nancy who’d been asleep with a blanket over her head for
the last three hours.

“What’s
wrong?” Nancy asked jolting up in the leather chair, the blanket covering her
clung to her face so it took a moment for her to untangle herself.

Lexi’s
face was white.

Alley, her
face fixed on a blank stare at the wall, dropped her cell from her ear,
speechless.

Arie was still
sleeping so I reached for her phone. I had no idea where mine was all of a
sudden.

There were
some fifty some text messages, all asking the same thing.

What happened in Knoxville?

I just heard on the news. I’m so sorry.

Are you okay?

“What’s
going on?” I looked between Nancy, Alley and Lexi, all staring back at me in
horror.

“Jimi and
Jameson wrecked in Knoxville.” Alley choked out. Tears streamed down her face.
“They were airlifted to University of Iowa.” She swallowed, “They’re not sure
if they made it.”

Emma was
on the phone with Aiden by then. “There’s a jet waiting for us!”

You would
have thought a herd of bull was let loose at the way all of us, wearing
pajamas, scrambled.

I didn’t
have time to think, to pray, to react. I just knew I needed to get to him.
That’s all that mattered. I don’t know why but I called his cell phone and it
immediately went to voicemail. The message that played brought the only smile I
would see tonight: “Do me a favor, don’t leave me a message. If I wanted to
talk to you, I would have answered.”

My mind
wandered once we were in the air, back twenty years when Jameson was injured in
Pocono. Only this time, the news painted a very different scene from Knoxville.

During the
flight, they showed the wreck and though it didn’t look horrible, the aftermath
was.

Jimi had
come down on Jameson quickly, as though something broke on his car. Clipped his
right rear tire and then hit the wall head on, flipped through the turn and
then was hit on the side by another driver.

Jameson’s
car went air-born, flipped seven times, clipped the wing of another car in the
air, and went air-born again eventually landing on the outside retaining wall.

My heart
literally stopped at the sight, that’s when I knew it was bad.

The news
reports simply said: “Our thoughts and prays are with these two legendary
drivers
...
father and son.”

They never
went into detail to say what the injuries were, if they were all right,
nothing. I knew that tactic over the years and understood it. Someone had died
and they hadn’t told the families yet.

They
couldn’t die, right? That was my next thought.

It just
couldn’t happen. Not to a family that had endured so much over the years.
Enough was enough, right?

Axels’
voice brought me around. I seemed to be numb to everything. I didn’t even
remember exiting the plane or Van driving us to the hospital.

“Mom.”
Axel asked
slipping inside the SUV we were in. He had been waiting with Aiden in the
parking lot for us, his hands fumbling with his phone in his hand.

I knew
immediately something was wrong, very wrong. Axels’ voice was timid but
controlled. His eyes cautious but guarded. “They
...
uh
...
I don’t know
what’s happening yet.” He admitted closing his eyes, “I’m sorry.”

There was
no sense in asking what happened, I saw the wreck on television. What I wanted
to know was if they were okay.

I knew my
son well enough to know that he felt it, something. I wasn’t sure what but it’s
the same bone chilling sensation all of us were feeling in that moment. We knew
something tragic happened. Something none of us were prepared for.

When we
reached the intensive care unit where everyone was gathered outside, two
doctors took us back to a private conference room that we could wait in
privacy. The family gathering area was so crowded with fans and media, there
was no room.

So we
waited, as time passed unbearably slow. They wouldn’t allow us inside the ICU
and wouldn’t offer anything other than they are listed in critical condition.

I couldn’t
think or feel. My mind was numbly unaware of everything going on. Voices seemed
distant and muddled. Motions seemed uncontrolled.

My body
jerked at the sound of the door opening. A tall doctor dressed in dark blue
scrubs stood near the door. At first glance, his manner was professional and confident.
One look into his eyes and I could tell he was exhausted. Not only that, he
didn’t want to be the one to give the news.

Nancy
reached for my hand. Emma reached for Nancy and Aiden standing next to her.

The doctor
stood there, his body swayed slightly as though he was lightheaded. “Mrs.
Riley?” his eyes then focused on Nancy as he swallowed. A sharp nauseating wave
passed through me. It didn’t matter that he was now looking at Nancy. Because
any loss, no matter who it is was, would be devastating to all of us.

The
doctor’s voice was just above a whisper as though he had never had to say
something like this before.

Kneeling
next to us, he took in our appearances. “Jimi’s spinal cord was severed,” he paused
and swallowed before looking Nancy directly in the eyes, “we performed CPR for
70 minutes
...
but we were
unable to revive him.”

No one
said anything. I don’t think we knew what to say.

You always
see it portrayed in movies where the loved one is told their significant other
or family member didn’t survive. They all have the same reaction: shock
followed quickly by a breakdown of uncontrollable tears and sobbing.

What
happens when the blow is too strong for you to comprehend?

Nothing

Nothing is
what happens. You’re unable to feel, unable to comprehend, unable to speak,
cry, sob, nothing happens.

Whatever
the emotion is supposed to be, it’s not there.

You’re
numb.

Red Flag – Axel

“Lily is
on her way.” I told Justin who sat down beside me in the hall.

“What do
we tell the media?” Justin asked, his face the same stone cold emotionless
portrait everyone else had.

None of
the racers, Justin, Tyler, me, or Cody had changed out of our racing suits but
here all of us sat lined up in the hall outside the intensive care unit. Blood
was all over mine and Justin’s from dad’s head injury. Tommy’s gray sweatshirt
was covered with clay, methanol, and blood. He smelled worse than all of us.

None of us
were in any appearance to address the media.

A group of
doctors walked passed looking over charts. I caught a portion of their
conversation as they rushed past. “He’s a forty-two year old race car driver
brought in by air. Scan revealed a moderate lateral skull fracture to the
temporal. He was unconscious at the time of arrival
...
ventilated…
” their voices began to fade but I heard a
string of words that followed them “
...
vomiting
...
asphyxia
...
”

It didn’t
look good. I knew enough to know, this wasn’t good.

Spencer
walked up with Lexi, both in tears, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as she
cried into his chest.

“Is there
any word on Jimi?” Justin asked Spencer.

Spencer’s
eyes looked from Lexi to me, and then at Casten hesitantly. He didn’t have to
say anything, his eyes closed as he fought for control, his chin quivered. “He
...
didn’t
...
they,” his breath caught as he tried to control himself and Lexi who
couldn’t stop crying. “…they couldn’t revive him.”

I wanted
to break down. I wanted to cry. I wanted relief from the pain I was feeling.
But nothing would come.

I guess
maybe I was holding out hope. Hope that they were wrong. Hope that one could be
saved. Holding out hope was the only option.

Lifting
wasn’t.

Nothing
prepares you for the bitter reality of it, nothing could.

Shit happens
and dreams are crushed. You can have it all only to have never really had it.
Hope simply vanishes as though it was never there.

Devastatingly
painful thoughts and emotions red flag you into silence.

Red Flag – Sway

Sometimes
it takes a loss to remind you what’s real and remind you of what you had to
begin with.

Then it’s
gone, like the passing of a lap during a race, a beginning to an end or maybe
an end to a beginning.