Authors: Shey Stahl
They all
had jobs and earned their keep, just in different ways. They had to deal with
the destruction they caused.
Feature – Axel
The day of
the wedding, you would have thought that all hell broke loose in the Riley and
West families.
Lily
wasn’t happy about my bachelor party but to be honest I wasn’t happy with the
pictures that I saw from her bachelorette party. We agreed to disagree on the
matter and moved past that until she asked me the night before the wedding if I
had cheated on her.
I was
pissed.
This was a
constant battle between us. It also wasn’t something I wanted to spend the rest
of my life with her arguing about.
So I said,
“If you can’t believe me when I tell you that I haven’t been with anyone else
...
we have no business getting married.”
It wasn’t
meant to be harsh nor was it me calling off the wedding. I just wanted her to
understand that “trust” was the most important part, to me anyway.
She had
other ideas about my statement and burst into tears thinking that I had called
off the wedding. I guess all the insecurity might have been my fault. It didn’t
help that I gave away my virginity to the first willing girl when I was younger
and ended up breaking her heart but seriously, that was years ago and I asked
her to marry me. To me that was the ultimate commitment. I wasn’t going
anywhere and didn’t have the desire to sleep with any other women. There were
always willing girls when your dad is Jameson Riley but other than the
occasional smile, I didn’t offer those girls anything more than a hello. I
wasn’t rude to them like my dad was but I didn’t leave with them either.
Lily and I
ended up staying up to three in morning the night before the wedding arguing
about it when I finally got through to her that I wasn’t going anywhere.
My brother
and sister weren’t helping in the morning when they met me at my hotel room in
Jacksonville.
That
wasn’t so bad and it was a nice change from Lily’s crying the night before, but
the shit got out of hand when we got to the beach where the wedding was.
Florida usually had nice weather in the winter, it was usually around 70° in
the winter but today is was a scorching 38°.
I did not
like cold weather, never had.
We were
only there about five minutes when Justin found me. I’ve never really looked at
Justin as Lily’s father, I’ve always thought of him as my dad’s best friend and
a fellow driver.
He wasn’t
very happy that morning.
“What
happened between you two last night?” Justin demanded corning me inside the
tent that was getting smaller by the minute. I think I’ve said this once before
but I wasn’t exactly a big guy and anyone cornering me, especially my soon to
be father-in law, was intimidating.
“Nothing
happened, why?” I’ll admit my voice was frightened. You would understand if you
saw the way he was looking at me. It was similar to the way a wild animal
stalked its prey.
“Well Lil
is in tears, go see her!”
He didn’t
have to tell me twice and I was inside my parent’s condo where she was getting
ready with my sister, mom, and aunts.
“Lily?” I
called out only to have Arie slam the door in my face.
“It’s bad
luck to see the bride before the wedding.” She told me through the door. “Get
lost!”
Pushing
past her wasn’t hard. Arie was taller than me but weighed less than a hundred
pounds.
“Listen to
me!” I shook her shoulders. “I’m seconds away from kicking you out of here. I
need to see Lily right now. Fuck the stupid traditions.”
She didn’t
budge, only crossed her arms over her chest. “No.”
“I’m not
above pushing my sister.”
“You
wouldn’t.”
“Don’t
tempt me.”
“Mom?” she
wailed pretending to be hurt like I actually did hit her. She pulled this shit
so often when we were little no one actually believed her any more.
“Arie,”
Lily called out from the bedroom. “
...
let him
in.”
Dad was
sitting on the couch eating cereal in his tuxedo. He was calm and collected
like this whole day was no big deal. It probably wasn’t to him. He dealt with
this stress every single day with
aunt
Emma.
“Can you
believe this shit?” I asked looking to him for support.
“You have
no idea kid.” Dad laughed placing his cereal bowl in the sink. “I had to spend
every day inches away from my sister for years while we traveled.” He patted my
back. “I don’t really have much sympathy for you on that part.”
No one had
sympathy for me today.
Lily was
in the bedroom dressed in her wedding gown, crying again.
“Lily,
what’s wrong baby?” I pulled her in my arms.
“I’m
sorry. I feel like an idiot for last night.”
Pulling
back to look at her, I wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her nose.
“Don’t be.
It’s normal to have pre-wedding jitters.” Moving from the bed, I knelt in front
of her taking her hands in mine. “I love you and I can’t imagine spending my
life with anyone other than you. Do you understand that? You’re the only woman
I want.”
A few more
tears fell before she nodded.
“I know
...
I’m sorry for being like this.” She shrugged
closing her eyes. “I see your parents and my parents and I want that. I do. But
I get scared you
...
”
She
couldn’t actually say it without crying. I knew what this was leading up too.
You see it
all around you when you grow in racing—men choosing his career of adrenaline
over women. My dad may be one of the greatest racers of all time but he owed
most of that to my mom. She was there for him no matter what. So he may have missed
birthdays and anniversaries to race but he had her to fall back on. Justin and
Ami were the same way.
Lily and I
grew up around that mentality and saw that relationship every day. Her fear,
that I would chose racing entirely.
“Do you
want to know one of the best memories I have of my parents growing up?”
She nodded
eagerly. She loved hearing about my parents and their epic love story. Smiling,
I pulled her hands forward kissing her ring finger.
“I was
probably around ten or eleven
;
anyway, my dad
was always racing on my mom’s birthday, never failed. That particular year he
was in a fairly close battle with the points, which left him on edge going into
the last race before the chase. The night before the Saturday night race was
mom’s birthday. Our entire family was there wanting to celebrate for her but
dad wasn’t in a good mood that night. There was also a sprint car race going on
in Lernerville that same night that he was set to race in.”
“He chose
racing over your mom’s birthday?”
“No, he
didn’t have to. She told him to go and they made a party out of the night for
her in Lernerville. He even won the race for her and took her around the track
in his sprint car for a victory lap.” I smiled up at her hoping that she
understood where I was going with this memory.
“It’s not
about choosing
...
” she deduced
with a small smile, her head tilted to the side.
“It’s not
about choosing.” I repeated. “My dad never had to choose because just like you,
my mom was ready and willing to support him. You’ve never asked me not to
race.”
“I never
would. Racing is what makes you happy.”
“Exactly
...
you have nothing to worry about…” I paused.
“And if you asked, I would walk away.”
It would
be hard but I would if she wanted me too.
She didn’t
say anything to me for a moment staring at my cufflinks.
I got
impatient and moved closer grasping her hands more securely. “Please marry me,
Lily.” I whispered against her hands that I had pulled against my lips.
“I will
. N
ow get out.” She pointed at the door. “I need to
meet my soon to be husband on the beach in an hour. I’m a hot mess.”
“You’re
beautiful.” I stood and looked down at her my fingers brushed along her cheek
and then curled around her chin. “Now meet me next to the shore in an hour.”
“Deal”
Making my way
back to the tent, I had my brother to deal with.
“You’re
being a moron.” I told Casten.
“It’s a
wedding Axel, not a Mensa meeting,” he replied. “How do you want me to act?”
“With a
bit more decorum, I would guess.” I told him eyeing his appearance. He was
sweating profusely. “Why are you all wet?”
“No
reason.” He smiled brushing his hair out of his face. “I think I drank too much
last night. So you want me to act like them?” Casten pointed to Logan and Lane
who were so drunk they could barely stand, covered in sand. Silently I hoped
they got washed away by the tide before the night was over. I loved them but
they weren’t helping me today.
“No, don’t
act like that. Just
...
be normal.
If that’s possible for you.”
Casten
threw his head back and let out a loud laugh and then went completely serious.
“That’s probably never going to happen with our parents.”
“Fine,” I
groaned heading down the aisle not feeling very confident in my family.
My dad and
Spencer were standing up there with Tommy. He was doing the ceremony for us.
Yes, he got his license online, which was good enough for me.
“You ready
kid?”
“I think
so?” it wasn’t meant to be a question but the way it came out, it was.
“I’m sorry
to say this,” Tommy laughed beside me, “but there shouldn’t be a question at
the end of that sentence moron.”
“Way to be
supportive.” Spencer shook his head and walked to the bar to where Aiden was
perched on a stool avoiding Noah and Charlie.
This left
me standing alone with Tommy and my dad, although Tommy was now distracted by
Lily’s bridesmaids.
“Are you
all right over there?” I asked dad when Casten came up to us. His hair was even
sweatier than before with a big grin on his face.
“Couldn’t be
better,” dad said in a very melodramatic way when he reached for his beer in
his pocket and tipped his head at Casten. “Why are you all wet?”
Casten
started laughing mirthlessly at that point. “I have no idea what you’re talking
about.” I had a feeling he was in the tent with Logan earlier and had an even
stronger feeling they had been smoking something but I wasn’t about to confirm
or deny that to my dad of all people.
“Uh-huh.”
Dad nodded and walked back toward my mom sitting in the chairs in front of us.
The music
changed and everyone took their places, including Casten who was my best man.
My buddy Shane and Willie were also in the wedding standing beside him.
“Last
chance to back out,” Casten whispered in my ear when Lily appeared under a
flowered archway leading to us. Waves crashed behind me drowning out the faint
piano music.
I didn’t
reply to Casten, just smiled at my bride to be. I hoped she would understand
that my heart belonged to her and only her now.
Feature – Sway
I remember
holding him for the first time. I remember watching him take his first breath
and hearing his first cry. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with
him and that first horrifying ultrasound when I realized there was actually
life inside of me. I remembered it all and every detail of his birth. I
remember Jameson not understanding that he blinked and hiccupped just like
every other human being. I had visions of Charlie holding him and now smiling
down on us. I had memories of him in the pits of Bristol when he had to have
seven stitches in his knee. I remember the fits he would throw at the grocery
store or the temper tantrums when he wouldn’t get his way. I also remember his
loving side, the sweet boy would tell me he loved me before each race and his
bear hugs that he would give and only he could give. Let’s just say I was a tad
emotional by the time Lily joined my son and they began to exchange their vows.
“I don’t
think I can do this.” I wailed next to Arie. “Yep, I’m positive I can’t.”
“Control yourself.”
Arie shook her head, not concerned about my emotional state. “You’re causing a
scene.”
“Don’t
judge me until you have kids.”
“That’s
never happening.” She whispered appalled. “I’m not cut out for children.”
“No,
Casten’s not cut out for children. You need to provide me with some
grandbabies.” I told her in a whisper.