The Legacy (30 page)

We enjoy a wonderful Christmas dinner and stay up until
late talking about the special time we shared last night.
Jessica tells us how grateful she is to have been able to
spend Christmas
with
us
and we
feel the
same.
Adagio
promises her we will try to return to the states for a visit before
I am too far along to travel.
Before going to bed I receive a phone call from Gloria
and Patrick. They are traveling to Rome for an after Christmas
vacation and want to stop and see us on the way. We eagerly
say yes and anticipate their visit. Though it is late, I knock on
Jessica's bedroom door to tell her the news and she is ecstatic!
Gloria and Patrick arrive the following day and we are all
tearfully reunited. I hadn't realized how much I missed them
until now. They cuddle little Ingo and marvel over how much
he looks like their son while catching up with Jessica, and we
open the gifts they brought for us. They spend the night and
head out the following morning, expressing their gratitude and
happiness for the opportunity to visit us and see Ingo. We
embrace them both, assuring them they are always welcome.

When we finally have to say goodbye to Jessica, she and I
are in tears. I will miss her so much, and I wish she could stay
longer, but she needs to get back to the boutique. Adagio again
tells her we will try to come back and visit.

I give her a final hug and a kiss before Adagio takes her
to the airport. I tearfully wave goodbye until the car is out of
sight, and look forward to the time we will see each other again.

I am now well past the days of morning sickness. At
seven months along I feel huge, but Adagio continually tells me
there is no one more beautiful, and his longing and desire for
me never wavers. Our nights are full of passion, and every day
our love for each other deepens.

Adagio gazes across the room at Cisely as she rocks Ingo
and softly sings to him. A little over ten months old, Ingo is
starting to walk and venture through the house. They'd quickly
had to install extra safety gates to keep him out of trouble.
Their son's antics never cease to make them smile. As he
continues to watch her, he is more content than he has ever
been. At times like this, he sometimes ponders his life before
Cisely.

Adagio will always miss Ingo, and he never feels guilty
whenever he thinks of Cisely once being his friend’s wife. He
will forever treasure the memories of the time he shared with
them when Ingo was alive. But as he gazes at Cisely now, his
love
for
her
again
overwhelms
him to
tears.
She
means
everything to him,
is
everything to him. She is the very air he
breathes and he loves her more than his own life.

He
sometimes
wonders
how
this
can
be,
especially
knowing she had been the love of his best friend's life. And
what if something happened to her and death separated them?
Or if death took them both? Would she meet Ingo again on the
other side and choose to be with him again? Would Adagio be
able to cope with losing her to Ingo after loving her so
desperately and completely?

He has no answers, and he doesn’t want to think about it
right now because it is physically painful and too unsettling. He
only knows she truly and completely owns his heart.

When Cisely looks over at Adagio and smiles, he again
glimpses forever in her eyes and it startles him. The feelings
that just a look from her stirs inside him . . . it just amazes him.

“I love you, too,” I say back, blissfully happy with my life.
Everything is so good with us, I sometimes have to push away
nagging fears that things won’t always be this way. Sure, our life
isn't perfect and I know we will still have trials, and I pray that I
can handle them when they come. But I only have to look into
Adagio’s eyes and I know that as long as he is by my side, I can
face anything.

The ringing of the phone breaks into the quiet stillness of
the house. Adagio answers it and I continue to rock Ingo.
“It is for you,” he says, sounding surprised. He brings me
the phone. “It is your cousin, Velma.”
I am surprised as well. I hand Ingo to him and he leans
down to kiss me before taking him outside to play, giving me
some privacy.
I haven’t talked to Velma in a long time. The last time
was about a month after Ingo died to let her know what
happened. Velma had been so sorry to hear the news. She said
she really liked Ingo and thought he was a great guy.
During
that same call, Velma told me she had gotten a job as a nanny
and would be moving to Florida. I was so happy for her. We've
been keeping in touch with one another through letters. When
I wrote Velma about Adagio and told her of our plans to be
married, she was happy for us and very supportive.
Right now, she is still in Florida. This is the first time she
has called since moving and I pray she is doing well and
everything is okay.
“Velma, how are you?”
“I’m fine. It’s so good to talk to you.”
“It’s good to talk to you too.” I can already tell something
is wrong just by the tone of her voice, and I'm amazed that I
have grown to know her so well. “How is the nanny job going?
Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. I’m doing great and keeping busy. Of
course, with looking after three kids under six, there is never a
time when I'm
not
busy.” I smile, understanding. She pauses. “I
received some news from home, Cisely, and I have something
very important to tell you. It’s actually a message I’m supposed
to give you.”
“A message . . . from whom?” I ask her, my curiosity
piqued.
“It’s . . . from your father, Cisely.”
I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me. I am
slightly ill and feel like I'm going to be sick, but I swallow hard
against it. As my mind reels, the same question repeatedly races
through my thoughts.
“What message could he possibly have to give me?”
Velma is quiet for a few seconds and I know she wishes
she didn't have to be the one to do this.
“He is in a hospice, Cisely. He is dying of AIDS . . . and
he wants to see you.”
You’ve got to be kidding! How could he even request such a thing?
I
can’t believe it. My father mentally tortured and sexually abused
me for half my childhood, causing so much emotional pain, I
hadn’t thought I would ever heal. What right does he have to
request this or anything else from me?
How dare he do this to me
now!
“Cisely, are you okay?”
I shudder. Velma still doesn’t know the full extent of my
childhood with my father and I have never desired to tell her.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “And I don’t think I can
grant him that request.”
Velma sighs. “Cisely, I don’t know everything about your
life with your father. I do know he hurt your mother, and I can
understand that you might still have ill feelings toward him.
Even still, Cisely, he is your father and he is dying. I mean, as
much as I dislike being around my mother and am glad to be
away from her, I can’t help but care about what happens to her.
I can’t hold her mistakes against her the way she has held mine
against me.”
I want to scream, “
You have absolutely no idea what my father
did to me! You have no clue of what kind of man he really is!”
Instead I
calmly say, “I’ll think about it.”
“Okay. If you do decide to go, he is in the hospice center
over off Montford Avenue.”
“Okay,” I say, wanting to be done with the conversation.
“Thank you, Velma,” I say sincerely. I know she is only trying
to help and I really can’t be upset at her.
I guess she's a better
person than I am right now.

Sighing, I sit with my head in my hands long after the call
ends, a dull ache growing as painful memories I've long since
tried to bury return to the surface. In my heart, I have tried to
forgive my father. I've tried so hard to let this go, but the pain
and anger that have resurfaced at the mere thought of his
request brings a heaviness to my heart that I haven’t felt in a
long time.

Oh, God,
I voice silently as warm tears slip through my
fingers.
Why now? Why is this happening now after all this time? I’ve
been so happy. Why must I deal with this now?

Adagio enters the family room, having left Ingo in the
nursery.
“What is it,
amore
,” he asks, kneeling down, pulling her to
him. She presses her face to his shoulder and cries, prompting
his own eyes to burn as he holds her shaking body close.
Lifting her in his arms, he carries her over to the sofa. Sitting
with her cradled on his lap, he continues to hold her in silence
until she is able to stop crying enough to speak. He wipes her
tears. “Please, baby, tell me what is wrong.”
Cisely finally looks at him. “You know, before I received
that phone call, I was thinking about how good my life is now,
and I thought that as long as I have you, I would be able to face
any trial that came, but . . . I don’t know if I can face this one.”
Her voice breaks.
“What trial?” he asks, trying to keep his voice calm,
fearing something terrible has happened.
“My . . . my father wants to see me.”
Adagio's brow creases and anger rises inside him until she
continues. “He is in a hospice back home. He had AIDS and I
guess he won’t be around much longer.”
Holding her close, Adagio tries to understand what she
must be feeling. Her father had hurt and defiled her, causing
scars that would always be there. Her nightmares, though
infrequent now, bear witness of those scars.
Like so many times before, Adagio’s mind drifts back to
the conversation he had with Ingo when Ingo shared Cisely’s
painful past with him. He couldn’t understand how someone
could be so sick. He remembers the sorrow he'd felt as Ingo
told him what Cisely had gone through, and how angry he
himself had been on her behalf.
“What should I do, Adagio?” she asks, breaking the
silence. “I don’t know what to do.”
Pressing a kiss to her brow, he tightens his embrace. He
can share what he thinks, but in the end it will be her choice. It
will be painful, but he has no doubt she will make the right one.
It's hard for him to think about her even being in the same
room with the man, but he knows it's wrong to hold on to such
feelings. “What does your heart tell you?” he asks softly.
Cisely
brushes
fresh
tears
away
only
to
have
them
replaced by more. “I don’t know because my heart hurts too
much right now to listen to it.”
“I’m so sorry for all the pain he has caused you,
amore
,”
he whispers against her brow. “But maybe he wants to make
peace with you before he dies.”
She pulls back abruptly. “Am I supposed to forget about
everything just like that?” she asks, her voice emotional and
unsteady. “Am I supposed to grant him his dying wish so he
can go in peace while I’m left holding the pain?”
Adagio takes her hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I
love you more than anything, Cisely, more than life itself. And
one of the reasons I love you, the most important reason, is
because you have so much love in you. You are the most giving
and caring person I know. Yes, you have pain in your heart, but
there is no hatred.” Placing a hand on her cheek, he looks into
her eyes. “An unforgiving heart is a heart full of hate and that is
not you,
amore
. Sometimes I have been so angry, I've found
myself wanting to hunt the man down and beat him senseless
because of what he put you through, but as much as I want to
hate him and any other person that does such terrible things, I
can't because that is not the way we should be. And if your
father wants your forgiveness, do you not think you owe him
that opportunity? Does not everyone in this world deserve the
chance to be forgiven for the hurts they inflict on others when
they truly seek forgiveness?”