The Legacy (29 page)

I spend the final days before Christmas baking and
preparing for the big day. I am always ill in the mornings for a
short while, but I'm usually better after eating something. By
evening I am exhausted and fall asleep as soon as my head hits
the pillow. Still, for me it's a happy exhaustion.

On the day before Christmas Eve, I wrap Adagio’s gifts
while he is at the airport picking up Jessica. The underlying
nauseousness I experience most of the time keeps me from
going for drives longer than ten or fifteen minutes at a time.
Otherwise,
I would have
gone
with
him.
I miss
Jessica
immensely and can’t wait to see her.

When they finally arrive,
Jessica and I tearfully hug each
other. How I have missed that motherly smile and those
twinkling blue eyes! I can’t believe we are together again.

Jessica cuddles Ingo a bit, marveling at how much he has
grown. I know she has missed him and I feel bad about that. At
times, I can't help wishing we lived a little closer to one
another, but I wouldn't trade my home in Italy for anything.

After giving Jessica a tour of the house, I show her to her
room. She tells me how much she loves our home, and she
thinks it's wonderful that Adagio only has to go to the other
side of the house to work. While she unpacks, I fill her in on
what has been going on in our lives, and when I tell her about
the baby, she is ecstatic. We sit on a cushioned bench by the
window.

“I’m glad to see you so happy, Cisely. It’s as if you two
have always been together.”
“Sometimes it feels that way. I guess we’ve both gone
through
so
much
emotionally,
and now
we
are
growing
together.” I pause, a familiar sense of wonder entering me.
“You know, I can't explain it, but it just feels so right being
with Adagio. In the beginning when I first discovered my
feelings for him, I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure of much of
anything. I really was afraid of growing to love him more than
Ingo, like I would be betraying him. I'm sure Adagio felt the
same. But now . . .” Intense emotion surges through me. “That
man is everything to me. He’s a part of my very soul. I know I
will always love Ingo because of what we shared. He taught me
how to see the good in myself. I had never known such love
and I will always treasure the time we had together. But . . .”
“But,” Jessica presses, squeezing my hand gently.
“What Adagio and I have . . . the love, the passion . . .
there are no words. When I look into his eyes . . . Jessica, I see
forever. I can't imagine not being with him. I'm tempted to feel
guilty at times for feeling this way, but I don't.”
She smiles, brushing a tear away. “I think you and Adagio
were growing together long before you discovered you loved
each other. You shared a special bond having lost the dearest
person in your lives. Your courtship with him was different
from yours and Ingo’s, just as the growth you two experienced
both emotionally and romantically was not the same.”
I sniffle, brushing a tear away. “It really was different,” I
agree. “My courtship with Ingo was a whirlwind, filled with
magic and excitement. I had never known love before he came
into my life. He made me so happy, and nothing will ever
diminish or minimize what we shared.”
“I know how deeply you loved each other. I could see it
each time you two were together. And had he lived, I’m sure
your love would be even greater now. He lived a good life, but
he’s gone. And now you are experiencing a different kind of
love.”
“Yes,” I say, marveling at how much Jessica understands.
“It is a love that was unexpected. And now . . . with Adagio . . .
every time he looks at me, I can feel how much he loves me.
Just a touch from him warms my entire being. I can’t even be
in the same room with him without being close to him, without
touching
him
or
having
him
touch
me.
His
love
is
overpowering, and sometimes what I feel for him fills me so
much, it overwhelms me to the point of tears. It’s a desperate
kind of love that consumes me.” I sigh, wiping my eyes. “How
can I feel like this so soon? How can I feel this way at all?”
Jessica
smiles.
“Because
it
was
meant
to
be.
Don't
question it, and don't feel guilty. Just accept it and be grateful.”
Nodding, I smile. She always knows just what to say.
“Thank you, Jessica, for once again being my mother at a time
when I truly need one.”
She hugs me. “Thank you, my dear, for giving me the joy
of being your mother. I couldn’t love you more if you were
truly my own flesh and blood.” She pulls back and wipes her
face again. “Now we had better stop all this crying or Adagio is
going to wonder what he has gotten himself into by getting the
two of us together again.”
“You’re probably right.”

On Christmas Eve, Anna stops by with her arms full of
gifts for our family. I introduce her to Jessica and Jessica is
immediately taken with her. Sometimes I wonder if Jessica has
ever met a person she didn’t like. We visit for a few minutes,
then Anna leaves to get back to her own family celebration.

In the evening, we gather in the family room in front of
the tree and sing Christmas carols, and Adagio reads the
Christmas story from the Bible.

As I listen to him, I can’t help remembering the previous
Christmas we spent together, except it was Ingo who read the
story of Christ’s birth. We had been so happy to have Adagio
with us. He hadn’t been able to bear the thought of spending
another Christmas alone and we didn’t want him to. I had even
talked with
Adagio
that
night
about
getting
together
the
following year for Christmas.

As
Adagio's
soothing
voice
brings
me
back
to
the
present, I find it both poignant and fitting that we are indeed
sharing this Christmas together, only not as just friends, but
husband and wife.

Coming
to
the
end of
the
nativity
story,
he
smiles
lovingly, pulling me close, and I am sure he is remembering as
well. We both loved Ingo. I loved him as a spouse and Adagio,
as a brother, and now we share a love for each other that grows
with
each
day
that
passes.
The
time
of
feeling
guilt
and
uncertainty has passed. Our life is as it should be.

After having some eggnog and Christmas treats, Adagio
pulls several large boxes from the storage room down the hall.
They are filled with wrapped presents. While I get Ingo ready,
Adagio tells Jessica what we planned and she is excited to
participate in this opportunity. After loading the boxes into the
back of the large van used by his employees to pick up produce
for the restaurant, we leave.

Fifteen minutes later, we arrive at an old Catholic Church
just
outside
of
Treviso.
I knock
and the
large
door
is
immediately opened.

“Merry Christmas, Signor Giovanni!”
“Well, Merry Christmas to you, Mrs. St. John!”
“We're sorry to be so late,” Adagio says, carrying the first

of the boxes in and quickly going back for another one.
“Oh, you are just fine.” He holds the door open for us
and we enter the large, beautiful old building. This particular
church is no longer used for worship, but instead houses
families in transition, offering them help until they are able to
get back on their feet. Looking around, my mind wanders back
to the day Adagio and I met Signor Giovanni. We were
shopping at one of the markets a couple of weeks ago when we
met two older women picking up supplies. They were both
loaded down with bags and we offered to help them carry the
groceries back to their vehicle. The women graciously accepted.

On the way to their car, the women told us about the
non-profit organization they volunteered for and the families
they were trying to help. We listened with sadness as they told
us about these families and how hard things were for them
financially, and my heart ached for them. The parents had no
money to buy Christmas for their children because there were
so many other things they needed more.

I told Adagio I wanted to help them and he felt the same.
We have been abundantly blessed and couldn’t think of a better
way to use it than helping others. We followed the women back
to
the
old church
where
we
were
introduced to
Signor
Giovanni. He and his wife, Theresa were grateful for our
willingness to help.

“Yes, they are. My wife is reading them a Christmas story
in the great hall downstairs.”
While Adagio grabs the last box from the van, I introduce
Signor Giovanni to Jessica. Thankfully he can speak a little
English and Jessica is able to converse with him. However, I
know the language well enough and continue to speak to him in
Italian.
When Adagio returns, we follow Signor Giovanni down
to see the families, meeting all the parents and their children. A
few of the children are withdrawn, but most are friendly and
eager to get to know us. I place Ingo on the floor and the
children immediately begin playing with him. Jessica and I visit
with the group of parents while Adagio brings in the gifts.
“Look what the St. Johns brought for you, children!”
Signor Giovanni says excitedly.
Each
child’s
eyes
brighten
as
Adagio
helps
Signor
Giovanni and the other women give out the gifts. I made sure
to mark each gift ahead of time with their names, so the right
gifts go to the right children. After everything is handed out, we
stand with
the
parents
and watch
the
children
open
the
packages, their happiness evident with each gift they unwrap.
Signor Giovanni gives us a teary smile. “I can't tell you
how much this means to us. We had so little money to help out
this year and the donations have been few. Having you come
into our lives has been a miracle.” He grips Adagio’s hand.
“Thank you both from the bottom of my heart.” Each of the
parents tearfully express their gratitude as well.
“There is no need to thank us,” Adagio says. “This is
what we are here for. This life is all about helping others.” He
pulls an envelope from his pocket. “We hope this will help to
get things that are needed.”
“Thank you so much.” He hugs us both.
“Adagio is right,” I say. “Helping each other really is what
this life is all about.”
We say goodbye to the families and wish them all a Merry
Christmas. I blink away tears as each child hugs us. Signor
Giovanni thanks us again, sending us off with a basket of fruit
and some homemade
biscotti
.
Except for an occasional sniffle, the ride home is mostly
quiet as we each contemplate the wonder of the evening.
Jessica tells us that she can’t remember having a more
special or meaningful Christmas, and she will remember this
one forever. She is grateful to have been able to be a part of
such a special opportunity.
Adagio
takes
my
hand and smiles.
We
have
both
experienced something truly amazing and neither of us can ever
remember feeling so at peace. I am blessed to even be in the
position to help others this way. I definitely remember what it
is
like
to
have
to
go
without,
and I'm grateful for
the
opportunity to give back.
Before we go to bed, Adagio and I discuss how the
service has affected us and decide this will be a tradition in our
family from now on.

The feelings from the night before linger in our hearts
and Christmas
morning
is
filled with
joy
as
presents
are
exchanged and opened. We all laugh as Ingo goes after the
wrapping paper each time a gift is opened. He isn’t old enough
to crawl yet, but he can roll and scoot to get where he wants to
go.
Grabbing
the
camera,
Adagio
takes
lots
of
pictures,
promising to send Jessica copies.