The Last Husband (27 page)

“I
don’t know who you are.” She clutched the door handle tightly, and I could see
the palms of her hands turning red. “I have to ask you to leave.”

I
stood there staring at her not really understanding what was going on. Why was
she pretending she didn’t know me? I knew her face as well as I knew my own. I
had dreamt of her almost every night for years; her eyes were ingrained in my
mind.

“I
just wanted to ask you a few questions.” I frowned. “I didn’t come for any
money, and I won’t tell dad where you are. I just want to know why you left.
Please.”

She
looked up at me then and I could see tears in the corners of her eyes as she
stared at me. She stepped forward and touched my face, staring at me in wonder.
She then touched my arm and stepped back. “You’re a handsome boy.” She smiled.
“But I’m sorry, I do not know who your mother is.”

“
Mama, mama, viens ici
.” The little boy
ran back through the door and pulled on her top. He stood there holding onto
her and stared up at me with a curious expression, as if to say, ‘oh you’re
still here’.

“I
have to go inside now.” She looked away from me. “Good luck with your search.”

“Wait.”
My voice was firm. “I know you’re lying. I don’t want anything from you. I just
want to understand.”

“I’m
sorry, but I have to go.
Au Revoir
.”
And with that, she turned away and quickly closed the door. I stared at her
face as she closed the door and I saw a small tear rolling from her eyes. At
that moment, I felt as if my world had ended. My heart felt empty and a deep
chill filled my body. I saw Lucky looking at me with a worried expression, but
I was unable to even look at her and give her a reassuring look.

I
picked up a rock and squeezed it tightly, hoping I could crush it in my bare
hands. When I realized I couldn’t, I threw it as far as I could and walked
quickly away from the door.

My
mind felt numb and I started running. I didn’t stop to think about where I was
going or to worry if Lucky could keep up with me, I just ran. I ran so fast and
so hard that I tripped over a bunch of rocks and scratched up my hands and
arms. The scrapes burned me and I saw traces of blood on my palms, but I jumped
up and kept running. I welcomed the pain, it helped to take my mind off of my
mother’s rejection. A rejection that was worse than any I could have ever
imagined. She had seen me, had me right there in front of her and denied me.
There was never going to be any closure. I was never going to hear the words
that she loved me and wanted to make it up to me. We were never going to bond.
She was never going to be a grandmother to my children. She just didn’t care.
She didn’t love me. It was as simple as that. She wasn’t in my life because she
didn’t want to be. She just didn’t care. I was nothing to her. I meant nothing
to her. My heart felt empty and I collapsed onto the ground by an old tree
trunk. I lay back in the grass and stared at an ant that was walking along the
ground. I watched it walking until it disappeared from sight and then I focused
on another ant.

I
sensed Lucky before I heard or saw her. I didn’t look up. I didn’t open my
mouth to tell her I was okay. I just laid there watching the ant. I felt her
sit next to me in the grass. She didn’t say a word to me and I was grateful
that she didn’t try to tell me that it was all going to be okay. We lay in the
grass in silence for what must have been 15 minutes before I picked a piece of
grass and turned towards her. She was staring at me with bloodshot eyes and a
worried expression. It hurt my heart that she had been crying for me. Even I
wasn’t crying for me, but I didn’t know what to say.

“Have
you ever eaten grass?” I passed her the blade of grass and picked another one.
“You should try it.” I put a piece of grass in my mouth and chewed on it. “If
you think about it, we eat a lot of grass anyway.”

“Because
we eat steak.” She smiled at me as she spoke and I nodded.
That’s why she’s perfect for you
, a voice inside me said. She knows
what you’re thinking. She’s already a part of you.

“Yeah,
cows eat grass all day and we eat steak. I have to admit I prefer to eat the
steak than the grass.”

“Me
too.” She inched towards me and I stared into her brown eyes.

“Did
you know your eyes are hazel when the sun hits them at a certain light?”

“No.”
Her voice was small.

“And
your hair has red highlights. Or copper. Your hair shines like spun copper in
the sun.” I laughed. “It’s a pity it’s not real copper, then you’d be really
rich.”

“I
knew, Zane.” Lucky burst out. “I knew and I’m sorry.”

I
frowned at her, not understanding what she was saying. “You knew what?”

“When
I called your mom and spoke to her …” Her voice cracked and she started crying.
“I knew she didn’t want to see you. I’m sorry.”

“You
knew?” My voice was light; surprisingly her words didn’t stir any emotions in
me.

“Are
you mad?” She bit her lip and I saw the concern in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,
Zane. I can’t believe that just happened.”

“It’s
okay.” I reached out and took her hand in mine. I felt my body warming as I
touched her and she moved in closer to me.

“It’s
not okay. Oh, Zane, I’m so sorry. I hate her. I really hate her.”

“It’s
not your fault, Lucky.”

I
could feel her heart beating next to mine and I pulled her in even closer to
me. The closer she was, the more I felt myself relaxing and breathing, until
all of a sudden, I felt like myself again. I closed my eyes and listened to our
hearts beating together in harmony. It was as if her heart were breathing life
back into mine. I held onto her and just breathed her in. She ran her hands
through my hair and her mouth found mine. I kissed her back hard, wanting to
feel and taste all of her in the most primal of ways. I pushed her flat on her
back and rolled over on top of her. I reached down and pulled her t-shirt off
and pulled her bra straps down so I could gain access to her breasts easily. I
bent my head down and suckled on her nipples and I felt myself becoming even
more aroused as she squirmed beneath me. She moaned as I bit down lightly on
her and I kissed down her body, licking the inside of her belly button and
pausing as I reached the top of her pants. I looked up at her before unbuttoning
her jeans and she nodded slightly giving me the go-ahead. I unzipped her jeans
and pulled them down her legs, until they crunched up against her ankles. I
quickly untied her shoes and pulled them off before pulling off her jeans
completely. She sat up and pulled her bra off and I stared at her beautiful
body as she lay in the grass with only her panties on. I pulled my t-shirt off,
and quickly pulled off my shoes and pants so that I was only in my boxers.

“I
don’t have a condom,” I muttered frustrated at myself.

“It’s
okay.” She smiled up at me.

“Are
you sure?”

“Yes.”
She reached up and pulled me down towards her. “I want to do this. Here. Now.
With you.”

I
leaned forward and kissed her hard, running my hands down to her breasts and
cupping and caressing them. She ran her hands down my back and into my boxer
shorts until she was squeezing my ass and I pushed my erection into her
panties. She wrapped her legs around my waist and reached up and pushed me over
so I was on my back and she was on top of me. Leaning forward her breasts
grazed my chest and she grinded herself back and forth on me. I closed my eyes
and concentrated on the desire coursing through me. I reached up and slipped
two fingers into her panties, and her wetness made me gasp with lust and desire,
as I felt how ready she was for me. Pushing her off of me and onto her back, I reached
down and pulled her panties off. I buried my face in between her legs and her
moans encouraged me as I explored her with my tongue. I grinned as she orgasmed
on my tongue and I quickly kissed my way back up her body before entering her.
She cried out and I moved slowly inside of her so that I could feel every
delicate and sensitive part of her body against me. Every fiber of my being
felt connected to Lucky. As our bodies became one, I felt the pleasure course
through me, making me feel alive and free. I pushed into her deeper and harder
wanting our two bodies to fuse together and melt into one. Lucky was a part of
me, her very essence flowed through my veins. Her smile was part of my lips,
her taste was a lingering sweetness on the tip of my tongue, her scent was in
every inhale I took, and the tenderness of her voice was like music to my ears.
My heart had felt like it had been broken and snatched away from my body this
afternoon after my mother’s rejection, but as I made love to Lucky, I realized
it had only been a small fracture. And I knew I would get over it. I knew it as
well as I knew the exact color of Lucky’s eyes and the way she smiled and
giggled when she was nervous. As long as I had Lucky, I would never be or feel
alone.

“Don’t
stop, Zane.” Lucky’s raspy voice turned me on even more and she scratched my
back as I went faster and faster before collapsing to the side of her. We laid
there staring at each other, grinning like idiots, and she reached over and ran
her fingers down my chest.

“You
are one good lover, Zane Beaumont.”

“Finally,”
I grinned. “I finally got you to admit it.”

***

“So,
what did you think?” I looked at Lucky’s face to see if she had enjoyed our
trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

“Honestly,
I was a little underwhelmed.” She made a face. “That was a long wait to get up
there and then we could barely see anything.”

“It
is a pretty nasty day.” I grimaced up at the sky. “Rain and overcast doesn’t do
the city of Paris justice.”

“I’m
just glad I live in Los Angeles, I mean Miami.” Lucky laughed. “You know what I
mean.”

“I
do.” I took hold of her hand and we walked together past all the other
tourists. “Thanks for being you.” I looked at her face, and all I could think
about was how much unconditional love she had given me.

“Thanks
for being you, too.” She paused and stopped to look at a young boy who was
painting the Eiffel Tower. “Hello.” She smiled at him and he grinned up at us.

“Hello.”
He continued painting and we stood and watched him for a few minutes.
 
“Are you American as well?”

“Yes,
we are.” She smiled down at him. “I love your painting.”

“I’m
painting the Eiffel Tower.”

“It
looks wonderful,” Lucky beamed at him. “You’re very talented.”

“Thank
you.” He pointed to a lady sitting on a chair a few yards away. “That’s my
mom.”

“She
must be very proud of you.” Lucky waved to his mom and the boy nodded.

“She’s
happy for me.” He looked at us solemnly. “I got my wish granted.”

“Your
wish?” I looked at him curiously.

“From
Make-A-Wish Foundation.” He nodded. “I wanted to come to Paris to paint the
Eiffel Tower and they granted me the wish.”

“Oh,
I see.” I studied the little boy’s face and I noticed that his hair looked very
thin and his eyes looked bigger than normal. “You must be very happy.”

“I
had neuroblastoma.” He picked up two paint tubes. “Should I use the purple or
the blue next?”

“I
like the purple.” Lucky smiled at him and I looked away quickly at the sight of
her crouched down next to the young boy. I wondered at how some people could
give their heart so easily and freely.

“Me,
too.” I sat crouched down on the other side of him. “Do you think you could
paint one for me as well?” I smiled at the happy surprise in his eyes.

“You
want one?” he asked eagerly and excitedly.

“Of
course.” I grinned at him and rubbed my hands. “You’re going to be a famous
painter one day, and I would love to have one of your original paintings.”

“I’d
like to be a famous painter.” He looked worried. “As long as the cancer doesn’t
come back.”

“Well,
we should all pray for that.” I nodded and looked at him solemnly. “Cancer is a
bad thing.”

“Yes.”
He nodded. “What color do you want your painting to be?”

“Surprise
me.” I smiled at him. “Whatever you paint will look great on my walls.”

“You’re
going to hang it on your wall?”

“Oh,
yes. It will be front and center in my living room, and I will tell everyone I
got it from a famous painter in France.”

“Well,
I’m not famous yet; it’s not good to lie.” He chewed on his lower lip and
looked like he was thinking very hard. “But I don’t mind if you tell them I’m
going to be famous one day.”

“Then
those are the words I shall use.” I smiled at him gently and was rewarded by a
huge smile.

“I’m
going to paint it now.”

“Thank
you.” I stood up and saw a man selling some souvenirs. “I’ll be right back, guys.”
I walked away quickly and looked through the key chains on the table. I grinned
when I saw one in the shape of a key and the word ‘Paris’ on it. I was going to
give it to Lucky that evening because Paris was the place she had unlocked my
heart. I was still devastated from my mother’s lies, but I knew that I would be
okay. It was a weird feeling to know and accept that the pain would eventually
dull. I saw another item that I thought Lucky would love and bought it as well,
and then quickly returned back to them.